Epilogue
"You know what's cool about losing all your blood?" Rainbow asked. "Nothing, that's what."
Applejack didn't even deign to reply as she nudged her special somepony out of the hospital in a wheelchair. Even now, Rainbow looked pale and feeble. She'd wear the scars from the pitchfork her whole life. Not even her thick blue coat could hide them entirely.
"Can't fly, can't work, can't even leave the house," she went on. "'Take it slow'. Yeah, because that's totally who I am. I'm known throughout Equestria for how slow I am."
Scars were fine, Applejack thought. Scars were wonderful compared to the alternatives. Rainbow might be dead, for starters. Or maybe their desperate attempt inside the… place... mightn't have worked.
"You're faster than you'd be if you were dead," Applejack commented. "Which you darn near were. Twice."
"I like to think of it as one big prolonged near death experience."
But it had worked. Twilight had confirmed as much as soon as she inspected the pair using her strange spell. Their magic had returned to normal. Applejack was still suffering the residual side-effects of being partnered to a pegasus, like splinters, but that was something she'd gladly live with. She was even getting used to them, just a bit.
She snickered, and tussled Rainbow’s mane.
"I love you."
"You've said that. Loads of times," Rainbow replied. "Getting afraid you'll lose me?"
Applejack shook her head. "No, I'm just reminding you so that when we get home and we discuss the whole 'fish' thing, you won't forget what's really important to me," she said, and leaned forwards to kiss the back of Rainbow's head. "'Kay?"
"Hrmph. Sure, whatever," Rainbow grunted. "You know, pescetarianism isn't even frowned upon in Manehattan. I bet they'd be cool with it."
"I ain't from Manehattan."
"Fluttershy eats fish."
Applejack narrowed her eyes. "Fluttershy doesn't share a mouth with me after mealtime."
"Good point," Rainbow muttered. "Would it help if I used mouthwash?"
"Honestly, I wouldn't mind if you used mouthwash either way."
"Noted. What if I only eat it on our fake-aversary?"
Applejack tilted her head. "Maybe. I'll mull it over."
Twilight sighed as she peered at the remains of the Pursuit Informatio. All it had become was little more than a disappointing pile of ash and scorched paper at the bottom of a chromium metal bin. Spike shrugged as he kept at his task of the day: making Twilight some scrambled eggs.
"It really was quite a useful book," she said. "All the questions we could have asked. All the things we could have known."
"All the brambles we could have thrown up," Spike retorted. Twilight winced at the notion, then sighed.
"I could have asked it why it was only things beginning with the letter 'B'," she added. "I was never sure why that was."
"Why did it burn up?" Spike asked, picking up the bin to throw out. Twilight shrugged.
"Maybe changing how the universe thinks damaged it. Maybe two ponies reading it at once was too much. Or maybe there is something to be said about 'burning with passion'."
"Doesn't sound all that logical, if you ask me."
"It wouldn't be the first time," Twilight said. "Magic is very pesky that way."
"Well," Spike said, "hopefully this'll be the last we hear of 'magic books'. Honestly, I'm amazed you even picked the Pursuit up after the Inspiration Manifestation."
The dragon left the room, leaving Twilight behind to sulk.
"Well, it was hard enough to get, after all. No sense letting it go to waste," she muttered. She hung her head, disappointed. "Well, I suppose it was dangerous. I wonder... what must the ponies of old have thought? Would they have treated it with caution, or was falling into a paradox just an everyday hazard?"
Many, many years ago, in a place that was having some difficulty existing properly...
"Your go."
The dice was rolled. It came up orange.
"Sports and leisure. Give me the question."
"Very well. How many tennis balls were used during the Whinnybleton championship one hundred and three years ago?"
"Oh, everypony knows that one. Fifteen thousand, three hundred and twenty three. Additionally, seven thousand eight hundred and eleven were used for qualifying, and a very surprising twenty seven thousand and ninety two for practice. Fifty thousand, two hundred and twenty six."
"Let me just check the Pursuit."
"What is the meaning of life?" exclaimed one of the players, a broad grin on his face. The pony with the Pursuit went quiet.
"Goodness, there's always that one pony, isn't there?"
"Someone take the answerbook away from him."
"Eh? Bumblebees?"
"Alto Intellectus created a paradox. Cheeky blighter."
"What I want to know is, was I right? I still need an orange slice to win."
"Of course you were right! Everypony knows the answer to that question!"
"I'd have won the orange one before if I got easy questions..."
"Oh, stop arguing. It's all in good fun. It's not like it's an actual serious game."
"Well, if I've won, then I really should get back home. I need to rest up properly. More and more Bad Books are getting written, and more and more ponies are getting cluttered brains every day."
"Soon there won't be enough ponies who know what’s real or not to save everypony. We'll have to start coexisting with stupid ponies."
"Don't even joke."
"It is a grim thought. If everypony becomes dumb, who will I win at Pursuit Informatio with?"
"Everypony. You'd win against everypony."
And there you have the ending of The Many Complications of Interspecies Romance. I hope you thought it was fresh and interesting: I had a blast writing it.
Many thanks to Tchernobog and Timaeus, who gave the story a look-over to make sure I wasn't utterly bonkers. They're also cool people.
If you enjoyed this story, you may also enjoy this other story of mine: What do You Mean, We're Not Related also has a magic book causing mayhem for everypony, and was where the idea of the Pursuit Informatio was born. More magic books to follow? Perhaps. Another great AppleDash story of mine I'd recommend reading is The One Week Year.
Until then, please upvote the story if you enjoyed it, and feel free to comment. Have a good one.
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6375417 What came first Scootaloo or the egg?
img09.deviantart.net/1f7e/i/2015/238/6/8/she_he_by_hillbe-d97asr6.jpg
have a cookie
Yeah, well, what I want to know is, who started writing these Bad Books in the first place and why?
It seems that they owe more than a few explanations to more than a few ponies.
You're totally bonkers. I love it.
... Trivia; Pursuit.
Did not see that coming.
Well played good author, well played.
Fun little story, well worth the read.
This puts a whole new spin on the whole Changeling thing. What if the universe caused them to invade to try and break up Cadence and Shining? Because they too are of different races.
wonderful story wonderful writing! it was such a fantastic read! and the inter action between applejackand rainbow was fabulous . kudos to you and thank you for such a fun and fine story! .
6375417 memecrunch.com/meme/4C0Z/it-all-makes-sense-now/image.jpg
It seems it is my lot in life to remind people of Pratchett.
Not that I mind. He's fantastic.
6375635 6375674
6375584 I didn't see it coming either when I started writing. I just wanted a neat little book that knew everything. But the thing that always reminded me of the feeling of being an ignorant numpty was playing Trivial Pursuit (1990-something edition).
So that's what it became.
This fic attempted to be three different stories, and in doing so, failed at them all.
As a dramatic romance, it focused too heavily on ridiculous plot points and poor comedy to make for a meaningful story.
As a romantic comedy, it had too much fridge horror, dramatic dialogue, and, well, a failed mesh of random and comedy to be entertaining, let alone successful.
As a cosmic horror story, it simply had too much focus on the romance and lessened the impact of the horror through awkward comedy.
Any of those fics could have been good, but all together, they rather suck.
A dramatic fic exploring to differences between earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns could be fascinating.
A romcom with Applejack and Rainbow Dash falling in love, complete with pranks, jokes, and wacky hijinks or misunderstandings has been done before several times, but there's plenty of room for one more.
A cosmic horror story about magic gone wrong, the results of discovering knowledge so vast that it can destroy minds, and the insidious nature of curiosity and the strive to learn in competition with the strive to survive could be fascinating.
Had the book not been in this fic, it would have been a hundred times better. Had the romance not been in this fic, it would have been a hundred times better. Had the intertribal differences of pegasi and earth ponies been given more in-depth coverage and featured the reconciliation of two different cultures, it would have been great.
Or, just better executed humor. That would have made this more than palatable.
But really, when the fic opens on a splinter and ends with a cosmic showdown with the universe because for whatever reason there had to be a conflict driven by deus ex machina rather than cultural differences and realistic personalities, there really isn't much that can be done to fix it other than to start cutting the rot out.
Oh, and the trivial pursuit bit in the epilogue was simply ridiculous. Worse than a Gainax Ending, honestly.
Makes me think that this fic needs a random tag at this point.
The universe is Louie Gohmert.
What's with the "sex" tag?
Lovely and terribly witty story all in all, thank you very much for taking the time to write and publish it, 'twas a splendid read indeed!
6376549 I was going to ask the same thing!
That was a delightfully insane read and I thank you for it.
6375868
Yeah, have to agree with you here. It started out interesting, but quickly turned into a mess, mostly because it was trying to do too many things at once.
6375868 This story looks like the story form of Scope Creep.
Was an enjoyable read but..rather baffling.
Guess what the ad on this chapter was? i.imgur.com/DEGOriL.jpg
I must admit I find the central premise of 'AJ and RD slash is so wrong it bends the universe...'
Well, to be frank, its one of the dumbest ideas I've ever heard.
Still, the culture clash and actual writing was very nicely done, and I'd preferred more of that and less the universe being some type of grumpy Anti-Cupid.
Darn it! I thought I owned all the copies of the secrets of the universe.. Well at least it wasn't the ones on the secrets of all the multiverses, The multiverse and you, Breaking the fourth wall.. Darn Pinkie for having that one...Or How multiverses can exist in spite of what everything and everyone else is thinking...To name a few .. Now letting ponies have knowledge that theirs is but one multiverse would've been messy..
But Seriously.. I should've guessed it was Rainbow Dash/Applejack pairing fic before I started but I've read worse fics...
It was fun to read, mostly about their differences. I would love to see them having 1 or 2 eggs XD
The universe trying to kill them... to very atractive... I though it will more about other ponies getting confuse for all of it.
Then again, I needed read the whole fic twice to get every joke and important concept being used. so don't pay me that much atention.
so the ponies of old were so smart that they were infact...useless morons.
That Trivial Pursuit thing...
*Groan*
I don't know whether I want to shake your hand or kick your ass for that pun. Maybe a bit of both?
42...thats all that needs to be said.
Also...
6377564
6378360 I read everything. No sex as far as I remember.
Some have claimed this story is all over the place, and that's true. Some have said that it's very Terry Pratchett-like, and that's also true. (Though who could take that as an insult? Eris rest Sir Terry's soul.)
Still, while I do think the Trivial Pursuit joke at the end is kind of weak, others seem to like it, and other than that... I really liked this story.
It's sweet, it's inspiring, and it's unique, if a little bit bizarre. I don't think I would read a longer version of this, but it manages to do good work while it's here and doesn't overstay its welcome. Good job, Hap.
I think aj was affected too much by the pairing rd should have had issues with flying or something. Is this the first pairing of an earth pony and a Pegasus if so everyone in the story is nonpulsed by it.
I loved it. I realize people are saying Pratchett, but for me the influence of Douglas Adams was far stronger throughout the story. The little asides, the observations that lead nowhere, and the casual disregard for immutable fact was wholly evident. All of that aside, this story was funny, witty, and played with reality like it was a jump rope in a Hoboken double dutch championship held by tween girls, and 1980s boxing movie montage stunt doubles.
Upvoted, Favorited, Followed.
6372723
This is not, and has never, been true. Species is a lot more complicated that just "can't breed." Despite supposed "common knowledge," even your particular example is wrong: only jack mules are sterile. A jenny can breed given a viable partner.
6380334
Except they've never been considered separate species in-canon. They were always subsets of the same species, Pony.
It's currently 2:20 AM and i'm falling asleep as i write this, but this story is absolute fabulous and that's all I have to say
Awesome. Loved it.
We absolutely need more magic books. In fact, every book should be Magic!
I've seen Appledash written many ways, and this has to be one of the best I've read
To be honest, if I wasn't intrigued by the Appledash (being the hopeless shipper that I am), I would've clicked away and missed that wonderful hot-wiring the universe scene. I came to enjoy more as it went along, but it took some time to adjust that an original work wouldn't of gotten from me.
That bit said, I theoretically could nitpick about the whole 'you're supposed to marry a big dumb farmer' part and how this whole model of the universe, while inventive, also kind of implies breaking the norm either hasn't been done at all ever in the history of ponykind or has inevitably lead to tragedy up until this point-- but honestly, I was way too entertained while reading to be bothered by the logistics, so there's no reason not to let that slide. It's a creative way of explaining things, and serves the story well. That's all I could ever ask! It's ideas like this that are the most inspiring, whether or not they're air-tight.
Now the Appledash shipper in me with like to have a word with you: OMGODTHISISPERF, LIKE, WOW! I'm not exaggerating when I say this is my favourite portrayal of what their relationship would be like, and I've probably scoured the Appledash Group's entire repertoire by now (which isn't to say there aren't other wonderful stories in that bin). I think they feel like partners, rather than a dominant partner and a sub-dominant one. They both put in work. I dunno. Subsequent readings might help me explain better. Also. Pegasexual. I don't know when or why, but I think I picked up the headcanon that AJ fancies wings from somewhere, but dude, that's the perfect name for it. Just. Yes.
Oh, and the pitchfork: 1. When I can say I genuinely gasped while reading, I know it's a good day, and 2. I snorted at the 'we don't solve our problems with pitchforks and torches anymore' line, that was so awesome.
So, I think that's all. Thanks for the wonderful story, it was a lot of fun to read. A success in my books!
6382954
Well, this certainly was original. This whole thing is a little confusing to be honest, but I suspect that's the point. Glad it had a happy ending though, well aside from the pitchfork injury.
...My head hurts.
Good job.
6384502 *Bows* Thank you kindly, my friend!
42 maybe?
I see the title & get all excited, but then I read the description & find out that it's actually interracial instead.
Curse you for getting my hopes up.
Though judging from other comments (I haven't read any of it yet) it seems that the biggest flaw of this story is being misnamed so...
6380334 I did not say that species was defined by being unable to reproduce together. I was using the fact that cross-species hybridization is rarely viable as evidence that ponies are all part of the same species. I am well aware that there are other aspects that define species. Being separate species often means differences in the number of chromosome pairs from one species to another, along with other differences.
Hybrid Sterility. The usual result of breeding a male donkey and a female horse. The rare cases of female mules (actually called a hinny, jenny is a female donkey, and molly is the rare female mule that goes through estrus) being theoretically or actually capable of getting pregnant is caused by rare combinations of just the right homologous pairs of chromosomes and a whole lot of luck, as there is always a lone chromosome left floating around without a second. In short, a fluke. Even tiger/lion hybrids are rarely able to produce offspring, and tigers and lions have the same number of chromosomes.
I used the mule example because it was the first example that I could think of off the top of my head (Seriously, mules are the first thing most people think of when they think about genetic hybrids of separate species to the extent that most people would have trouble naming ten hybrids).
Given that my biggest complaint about this fic was that it incorrectly used the term species, when sub-species or race would be more accurate, I must give it a thumbs up.
See, this is EXACTLY the sort of reason in due course I aim to be having a long... chat... with the universe about making itself work properly, After which it will either work properly... or will be made to work properly, and I suspect it will very not much enjoy being on the recieving end of "life isn't fair." no, not at all.
So good job, AJ, Dash. It's a pity you didn't kick the universe in the kanckers while you were at it!
6395115 What do you mean? Saying 'still' is a perfectly acceptable course of action in an emergency.
Fixed.
Ow. I did not see that pun coming, you magnificent bastard!
Kudos for a) writing a very nice warm-fuzzies romance fic, and b) writing an excellent illustration of the "pegasi are birds with hooves" take on pony tribes.
I'm picturing Twilight during the hospital conversation suddenly realizing how many times Celestia had gracefully hidden whatever it was she was just eating from filly-Twilight, followed by a queasy realization that as an alicorn, she's now part fish-eating egg-laying bird-horse too!
Don't be silly. It's made of foam!
6456419 Oh, who even knows what special quirks alicorns have. I'm guessing they're weirder than all three tribes combined.
I kind of like the idea that, no matter how strange pegasi might seem to Earth ponies, unicorns and alicorns are way stranger.
6562112 I think that's what was going through my head at the time. Something about 'external factors' providing conflict for a romantic relationship.
As with a lot of things, it started with a joke. I was discussing the idea and quipped 'what if, liek, the whole universe was anti-appledash? That'd have conflict, rite?'
Compound onto that that I had just finished doing some rather interesting work with rubber bands at uni, and the rest was history.
God I love this story. I'm fine with pretty much any mane 6 ship, but I have a special place for TwiPie and AppleDash.
I love the idea of Rainbow Dash and other pegasi having some birdlike tendencies, so much so that I started a story about it, but just never got around to finishing it. That being said, not many of the ideas I had about her possible behaviors are as interesting as the ones you have presented.
So, go ahead and mark this story a ten... but I do have two minor quibbles...
In a world where 1/3rd of the population occasionally eat fish, how would the other 2/3rds not heard about it? Seems implausible, but I guess I could see it because Applejack is likely not around many pegasi. Of course, that being the case, she would also be looking at the other pegasi as if they were monsters too.
The other is the term Applejack keeps using: Pegasexual. Terms like these pop up because there is a need to categorize people/ponies. However, in the universe you've created, these couples clearly don't exist. Not for long anyway, given that pitchfork thing. Also, ponies in the show clearly crossbreed, so I don't know why the universe got it's panties in a bunch over these two.
All that being said, these things are clearly in service of the story and like I said, I love this story.
I know it's highly unlikely, and it's probably a bad idea, but if you were to ever make a sequel, I'd love to see Applejack and Rainbow Dash gain even more traits and strange behaviors from their opposing races. It would make for a cute romantic comedy. Also, Twilight having to deal with new cravings for fish now being an alicorn.
Oh, and I would be remiss if I didn't compliment you in the way you wrote "the universe". Superb.
Thank you for writing this. I sincerely mean that.
6618166
I've heard this one several times, actually, and I was always a bit puzzled by it as a quibble. Not that I didn't expect people to have quibbles, of course, but I did go somewhat out of my way to indicate that the whole ordeal both rare and only occured for ponies who's family history weren't used to branching out. Given that all the Apples I remember were Earth ponies, that strikes me as a fair categorization.
I never intended that to apply to all couples between tribes/races/species, and I don't recall saying as much in the story. My intent was for it to be almost a bit like an immune system: Applejack's genes aren't accustomed to unfamiliar tribes, so she rejected it. Another interpretation would be that the universe, liking things the way they are, would have wanted Applejack to follow in the footsteps of her family, and remain Earth pony exclusive. Hence why she, and she alone, suffered.
Whether I explained as much in the story is up for debate, however that was my intent.
I like to think it's still perfectly plausible, given that only Cloudsdale would likely serve fish as a dish. And the culinary habits of other cultures still manage to surprise me. For example, I only recently found out that Japan, for the longest time, didn't consume dairy. It either never crossed their mind, or they thought it was disgusting.
I felt that if I was able to be surprised by that, Applejack could be surprised by fish.
Hope that clears things up a bit, or at least, explains my intentions somewhat. I'm of course very glad you enjoyed the story.
6618217
Okay, yeah, that makes much more sense. I think the major confusion for that issue simply comes from, for lack of a better term, "the universe" when it speaks in such broad terms, telling Applejack that she needs to marry an earth pony, rather than saying she should since it's so heavily ingrained in her genes. If you included a bit where saaaay, Applejack points to another pegasus/earth pony couple and said "why aren't they having any of these problems?", and then have Twilight go into the explanation about Applejack and Rainbow being so much more in tune with their own race, it would probably smooth over better with the reader.
I could almost see that apart one line in the story.
Now if you said it was a delicacy in Cloudsdale or something, That'd be one thing. This line sells it as a natural thing that pegasi do.
Also believe it or not, mayo is a common topping for pizza in japan! Like, as popular as hamburger meat is here in america, so they definitely do enjoy some milk products over there.
Also, I wanna make it explicitly clear here that I'm not trying to argue or anything. This kind of stuff fascinates me. Ever since I did my first long story, I started looking into communication with the reader and common mistakes authors make when doing so. I found that nearly every time a reader had an issue with my story, it was because I didn't communicate something well.
Or it sucked. You know, still working on that not sucking bit.
Again, I hope you don't weigh these *COUGH COUGH-criticisms-COUGH* too heavily as they in no way detract from this story. They just sit in my mind and nag me slightly... much like other stupid things like the cheese that Rare left in perfect dark. I so wish I knew what the hell they planned to do with it...