When Applejack starts dating an old pegasus friend, she thought the worst part would be making time in her busy schedule for romance. She didn't expect a whole truckload of unusual complications.
Complications like splinters. A hostile home environment. Being confused for an egg. A book that contains the secrets of the universe, and a theory about a rubber band.
Some ponies just have to worry about their jobs and who did the laundry. Applejack has to worry about her species tearing her love life apart. Pegasi are weirder than she thought, and the universe isn't making it any easier.
Preread/proofread/nonsense-checked by Tchernobog and Timaeus.
Chapters (5)
Okay, this is going places. I like these places.
Well, this is certainly a new concept. Can't say I've ever heard of an elastic universe theory anywhere.
I'll stick around to see where this goes.
6372205 I'm just going over the final half as we speak, and it'll be up tomorrow at around the same time.
6372168
I like this writing style. It doesn't walk around the bush several times nor chop through it. It just walks past the bush while idly describing it.
... Okay, I'm not good with metaphors. I'll just wait for the next chapter I guess.
6372168
6372205
It's brilliant stuff. I loved every moment of this.
Cute fic, very cute. Lots of things I wouldn't ever make a part of my own head canon (especially the egg thing with pegasi), but it's always fun seeing what other peoples' head canons are and making them work in their own stories. I'm a sucker for good AppleDash as well, and this is pretty good AppleDash so far. Can't wait to see how it ends, and have a like and favorite!
6372230 Metaphors are like motorcycles. They're all fun and games until they crash and burn.
6372262 To be honest, I tend to waver between headcanons, and some seem more appropriate than others depending on the time of day. However, these ones were the headcanons I kind of wanted to be true, despite the fact that given show-canon, they're pretty damn unlikely. I'm glad you like it so far: I had a blast writing it, from beginning to end.
Heh. Well, that`s actually interesting to read. Rather unusual that, lately. Oh well, no complaints. ^_^
6372336 I've been trying unusual a lot more lately, especially in my last two. My master plan is that I can surprise people into pressing the upvote button.
It cannot fail! And then... world domination.
Still my favorite line.
6372396 Same. I'm sure I've heard it from somewhere, but I can't remember. Probably my dad. He spouts stuff like that now and then.
I like how this story seems to be shaping up to be funny in a very tongue-in-cheek way without being too silly. Well, except for...
Ahem: You got Cloudsdale fever, girl! Cloudsdale fever!
Soon there will be a venereal disease for this. Other pegasi-loving earth ponies will go to the doctor due to a severe case of "The Flaps."
6372361
A pointless goal.
6372435 You're right. Who wants world domination, really? The administration is simply not worth the benefits.
6372413 You can look two comments under yours to see where that particular word came from. I just happened to like it.
6372444
There is no point in dominating something that will never allow you to establish your own rules for it.
So pegasus can reproduce via parthagenesis? Wouldn't the final be a clone of dash? Or is magic involved?
This sort of reminds me of a story about an earth pony telling tall tales about the other tribes, pegasus were a type of duck that evolved to mimic ponies and unicorn horns were a sort of symbiotic cuttlefish.
So Pegasi lay eggs? Well, that's an interesting idea, but now I find myself wondering if Unicorns possess any biological peculiarities that Earth Ponies and Pegasi don't know about....
Strictly speaking, species is the wrong term. Separate species cannot create reproductively viable offspring. Example: if a horse and a donkey are crossbred, the result is a mule. Mules are sterile.
The genetic difference between the pony races, given that an earth pony can have pegasus and unicorn offspring, would place them as separate breeds or separate subspecies.
Ha! This chapter really bends what I will accept for headcanon. I feel like I should link "You Fail Biology Forever" from TV Tropes, but I won't. (Egg-laying, oddly enough, is the most acceptable out of things in this. Asexual reproduction and ponies having armpits, on the other hand...)
Still, I'm mollified by Rainbow Dash's hilarious commentary. The humor in this piece is actually keeping me going way more than the shipping.
See ya next chapter, Hap!
I always figured that pegasi took the form of clouds in the uterus, and when they were 'laid', they became part of the cloud den. When they finish forming, they take on personality and physical traits of the den itself. For example, Rainbow Dash would've been born in a particularly-strong lightning storm on a sunny spring day. Fluttershy was born in a nice, silky bed of cloud. Etc.
But I felt that was also kind of convoluted, so I just went with "meh, boring natural way".
6372723
Well apparently H. neanderthalensis and H. sapiens sapiens didn't have much issue interbreeding.
Well... Otp seems to have taken a strange turn... I'll read this when I'm not about to fall asleep...
A fully-armed ninja? Yeah, not likely. MINJAS, on the other hand...
And that's right from the world's foremost ninja expert!
Makes "Go Lay an Egg" a little more apt.
6372254 If Tcherny likes it, it must be good. I'ma make time for this.
Funny so far. Kinda sad that the out-of-context line has a typo in it. Should be 'staying' away, not 'saying'.
Keep this up, and you may very well make it into my favorites folder
Interesting premise. It would make a little more sense if it was magic between different species, rather than pony types that have lived together for untold centuries, but eh.
Somehow... still not the strangest thing I've ever read.
But it is pretty strange.
Loving this story so far. Very cute and funny. The Twilight book side bit has been a nice scene transition aspect too for fading in and out of AJ and Dash's main plot arch.
6372710
... they have a predisposition to throwing their spouses like javelins?
ponychan.net/pony/src/1437033157688.gif
Thine headcannon hast misfired. Badly. Wow.
Uh...
i.imgur.com/PZqp4Xw.png
6372723 actually, if the have sloppy genes (i believe that's correct) like dogs and wolves, then the don't have to be the same species to have kids
I was going to write something about the head-canon in this, but I think this picture sums it up better than I ever could:
i.imgur.com/z1qoU47.jpg
Well, I went from "Wth IS this" to "fakkin brilliant" over The cource of reading theese two chapters, so have a fav! I loved it!
6373673
That's not biological, it's cultural.
Am I the only one who's just a teeny tiny bit confused...yeah probably just me...ah well
"Oh, sweet Celestia! Is that why sometimes there are those mares that get really cross at me when I call them fat?!"
"You guys just get fat, then poop out a pony." ....again
Loving this story so far
6372396 Oh yeah force of habit is a force to be reckoned with.
This is very very humorous. The various subspecies having peculiar traits is hillarious. And some fish and birds CAN spawn asexually or even change sex so thats extra hillarious. And there are monotremes like plattapai that have eggs instead of live birth. Throwing their spouses as javaleens is an obvious unicorn trait. Immunity to splinters and bone fractures as a earth pony trait and incubating eggs for pegasi. Priceless. The cakes just took their egg to the hospital so it could hatch along with the delivery of their other foal. Till an egg hatches it doesnt count as a pony. So where do baby AlICORNS (non-ascended ones) come from?
Dash having a mothering nature that embarasses Flutters is also pretty funny.
6372689 That's a lot of long words. I do engineering, mate. We don't know what a parthenowotsit is.
So... probably? Maybe?
6374465 Just wait til chapter four.
6372757 I never even thought of that.
If I wanted to get into gritty details without just saying that I came up with most of these headcannons for fun, I'd say that all the different pony types can make a pony of each type, but using their own special way. I actually had a joke for the second chapter that I scrapped regarding how unicorns give birth, but I couldn't find a spot for it.
6373673 Well, if I wanted to explain that... I'd say that unicorns of old would use their heads as improvised weapons, and it isn't uncommon to duel with your most readily available death-dealing device of choice.
Personally, I like to think it's just Shining Armour being a badass. I like to think he fights battles using guards as maces and tosses ponies at his enemies willy-nilly.
I'm really loving the story and its writing style! It reminds me somewhat of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, especially in the beginning of the first chapter.
I'm loving this story.
img12.deviantart.net/c7cf/i/2015/241/6/a/chillin_sparity_by_hillbe-d97owsd.jpg
How fashionable!
6374903
Why stop there??
Pegasus = egg ; Chicken = egg ; Scootaloo = Pegasus = egg = Chicken
6375417 What came first Scootaloo or the egg?
img09.deviantart.net/1f7e/i/2015/238/6/8/she_he_by_hillbe-d97asr6.jpg
have a cookie
Finished the previous chapter and then these others got uploaded, nice timing there.
And so the book that knows everything that has been and is does not what will be. A very important distinction there and an understandable restriction.
No bet on Twilight using it again next chapter.
Oh, AJ, you just had to go and be honest, in the most brutal way possible. At least more honesty was able to somewhat mend the damage.
Too bad it broke the universe.
Dawwww!