Discord and Eris had an idea to make a portal to the different towns and cities around Equestria so in case of an emergency they could immediately send the guards of Canterlot to that location. So with the help of Twilight, Cadence, Luna and Celestia they tried to attempt it, only Rainbow wanted to see it for herself and accidentally surprised them, causing the first human to be sent to Equestria.
In this Equestria they have phones, tablets, wi-fi, T.V., and videogames.
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Staaaaaaaaaaaaaary tiiiiiiiime!!
6345024 WHAT DA FUQ DOES STARY MEAN?
Start pronounced st AH er ee - stupid version of story I say when I'm excited.
On another note.
Brah, bro, broham, brother man.
You need an editor. I like the idea, I like the story bit grammar is killomg me. You need a grammar pal, for realzies!
Otherwise good job!
6345082 I don't know anyone who'd help me with grammar.
6345214
To looking for editors!
you have caught my attention good sir.
6345290 Lets hope I keep it.
6345307 I'm sure you can. If you need any help just let me know, and I can try to help you if you like.
WHAT DID THEY LET IN?!
6345317 Sounds good........can you help me with my homework? JK LOL!
6345321 Pinkie pie as a human male who's antisocial and loves his tablet and videogames.......a.k.a me.
6345330
There's a few things I have to say about this story but, before I do that, I need to ask you a question: can you take honest, well intentioned criticism without getting angry or upset about it?
6346934 My brother accidentally hit me in the eye with a shovel once and I didn't blame him. Don't ask.
6346943
Okay, well, then I'll proceed. First, there's the title, "My Interesting Life" I'm sorry but that turned me off right away. I say that because it just didn't really catch my attention in a positive way since it struck me as being someone might use as a title to a diary or journal, not really appropriate for a story title, if you see what I mean.
Then, there's the use of a "Portal" as a means of going to and from Equestria from <origin name here>
Honestly, that's been done to death to the point where it's just a cliche' now and really doesn't make the story interesting.
And then there's the whole approach to yet another human in Equestria which, again, has been done to death to the point of being a cliche'.
Don't get me wrong! I like HiE stories, have written a few, myself. But, what I also like are fresh, new ideas; things which haven't been done, before, which are novel, appealing and interesting. If you'd like an example of what I'm talking about, take a look at a collaborative effort I and another writer have been working on called A Murder On Lilac Lane.
Now, personally, I think you have promise as a writer but, instead of simply borrowing from everyone else's cliche's I'm sure you could come up with something truly original.
Now, if you'd like some help with ideas I'm always available to offer tips and suggestions and, barring that, I can always introduce you to others who can help.
Finally it's always my first, best hope that everyone I encounter here on FIMfiction can become the very best writers they can be. I'd love nothing more than to see this site flowing with brilliant works of fiction that everyone loves.
If there's anything I can do to help just let me know.
Oh I feel for Rainbow on being curious, but I'm not willing to break in like she is. I like the cliff hanger, and can't wait to see what comes next.
short hair dosent always mean male and how do they now what a tablet is?
6350715 Ohhhh......I'm gonna need to make some edits.
6350696 i call BS you would break in and so would I. After seeing all the power houses in there at the time. the cat would be dead
6350730 It's RAINBOW DASH!! That and she knows everyone in the one.
6350730 Because I'd see a huge glowing ball of light is the reason why I'd not go in there. "I could get vaporized if one of them sneezed." Would be the running thought in my head.
6350902 i shall ignore your logic
you have my attention and I hope the story keeps getting better
killed me as soon as I walk in a new home 20 minutes later I ask about wifi
6358855 Hehehe I knew that was a good choice on my part.
see now im wondering if da ponies have wifi
6359406 I added it to the description of the story.
6359433 ...i knew that.
nice to see/know now doe
6363809 I try.
6364867 One should be up by the time you read this.
it says Everyponh a few times, might wanna fix that
6365027 Stupid auto correct
6365059 what going to do am I right
How is a 13 year old 5'8? Damn dude
6365212 I'm tall.
6365357 ...then in behalf of those older and sorter then you i say fuck you young man
6365854 Wahhhh!
I like I like
Well.....girls do tend to mature faster then boys but I'd say your pushing it just a bit.
6386661 Hey I'm that tall in real life okay.......fine I'll tweak it eventually.
6386706 not saying ya got to it is your story and such a thing isn't impossible just saying so your more careful. though by changing it you can show how Nyx grows to understand what she is feeling and show the shenanigans that follow
This is a very good story so far, and I can't wait to read more of it.
Ah school. The evil that can never be escaped. Especially if your living with Twinkels
Yay your not dead
I want to find out what happens please update
Yes can't wait for the next chapter
6350902 true but rainbow would call it awesome and try to get. Closer
And slobbers all over his face.
and noms on his face
Tirek.
Mud?