Zoophilia

I've been in Equestria for exactly one year. I still don't know how I got here, but ever since that fateful day, I've bunked with local librarian Twilight Sparkle, making my living doing odd jobs around town and getting into the occasional world-saving adventure. Life seemed to finally be settling down, I got an offer for a stable (heh) job, I had saved up enough for my own house, and as the only human in Equestria, I'm a bit of a celebrity.

And then Twilight asked me out.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 5 )

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MadMaxtheBlack

MadMaxtheBlack #1 · Apr 10th, 2015 · 3 · · Zoophilia ·

Whoa... way too fast there, skippy. You could probably do with a bit more detail and lead up to the climax of the chapter. Plus, it's kinda confusing when you jump back and forth between past and present that quickly. This feels like it could be a good story, but it needs some more fleshing out.

Midnight Starwriter

Midnight Starwriter #2 · Apr 11th, 2015 · 1 · · Zoophilia ·

Well this is an interesting story. More details for the story is needed. I like where this is going, please put in more work for the story it has potential to be great.

Frazzled Pony

Frazzled Pony #3 · Apr 19th, 2015 · 1 · · Zoophilia ·

Agree with the above points. Also, at at least one point you switched to second person narration. Don't do that. And for all that is holy, choose a name. Using Anon for a name (and second person fics, where it's most often used) is the stupidest thing to hit this fandom since the rash of "character x is a psycho killer"-fics. A character who has enough personality to work is distinct enough that he deserves his own name, because he is more than just an audience surrogate.

All in all, this has potential.

Also, unless they can breed, it's not race, then it's species. So speciecist.

Happy writing.

Neoar2000