• Published 25th Jul 2015
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Changeling See, Changeling D'OH! (Comment-Driven Story) - Kersey475



You are a changeling stranded in the Everfree Forest after the failed assault on Canterlot. What should you do? What shenanigans will ensue? YOU DECIDE!

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Chapter 14: Dimondia Escape, Take 1

BrownDog77 comment

As you and "Queen Trixianna" sit in her chambers, she gives you an unsure look.

“Are you sure we have to go pranking? It seems somewhat juvenile,” asks Trixie.

You give her a roll of the eyes before explaining

“Look Trix, all we have to do is upset enough dogs long enough to take the crown off. Sure they’ll be mad and upset at the moment, but pranks always get laughed off after the fact. And by the time they are laughing and forgiving you, the crown will be off and we can leave.”

“That does sound logical, but then when I’m actually gone, they’ll think it’s a prank, and be even more upset when they find out it’s not,” she says.

“Well unless you have any better suggestions, I don’t see any other options. Seriously, what other way can a politician offend their constituents for a short time before they go back to not caring?”

“Hmmm… what if we preformed a minor scandal? Something low-tier that will make them upset, but won’t be bad in the long run?” she muses.

“Well that could work I suppose, what do you have in mind?” you ask as she gives you a smile as she levitates a camera out of a desk.

“Something trashy and scandalous,” she says as she walks over to you giving you a funny look.

“Like what?” you ask nervously.

“This,” she says as she suddenly wraps her arms around you and pulls your lips into hers, your eyes going wide, before being blinded by the bright flash of the camera.

“Gyagh,” you say as you pull back and rub your spotted eyes. “The heck was that?” you stammer blushing.

“Sorry, couldn’t resist the theatrics,” she says with her own blush as she takes the picture out of the camera, “And Eureka, Scandal Exhibit A.”

She shows you the picture of you two kissing, with your surprised eyes prevalent and you blush even harder.

“How is this scandalous?” you ask, storing the emotion from that kiss in your internal batteries.

“Well Ritz, how shocking would it be if 'Somepony' were to leak this photograph to the local paper of their pure and innocent queen fornicating with her own Captain of the Guard? Queen Trixianna isn’t pure nor a role model for this type of behavior, and they will lose their faith in me.”

You know where she’s going with this. Sex Scandals were a favorite tool of Changelings to disrupt the status Quo, and cause distrust, but you think it’s lacking.

“First of all, you could have asked if you wanted a kiss Trix,” she chuckles and rubs the back of her head at that, “and second this is tame compared to some of the sex scandals I’ve seen. This is just kissing,” you point out.

“Your argument is valid, but unless you wish to take more risqué photographs between the two of us, I believe this will be enough.”

“Well, no…" you stammer, "Pups could be reading,”

“My thoughts exactly, now come along, let’s go discredit myself,” she says leading the way back down stairs.

When you enter the lobby again, you voice your concerns once more.

“I still don’t think this will be enough.”

“Oh fine, you want proof, watch this,” she says as she walks over to the secretary dog (who really does need a raise) and 'Accidentally' drops the picture on his desk.

“Oh no, I 'Accidentally' dropped this picture of my sordid love affair, Oh me, Oh my…” she says in horrible acting to which you facehoof.

“Oh, don’t worry your highness, let me grab that for you,” says the secretary as he picks up the photo and hands it to her.

“There you go, nice picture by the way,” he says.

“Wh-what?” asks Trixie flabbergasted.

“The picture, it’s a nice angle,” repeats the dog.

“Are you not shocked and outraged by this photograph?” she asks.

“Um…should I be? It’s just you two kissing” he says uncertainly

“But I, the pure and noble queen have been caught having an affair with my dutiful and chaste Captain,” she says flabbergasted.

“Hey, I’m not chaste!” you say indignantly.

“But, you two are a couple right?”

“Wh-what? Why would you think that?” she asks.

“Well we found both of you together, you made him your captain, he carried you to your room after your coronation, you stick together day and night, I mean heck, the whole Kingdom thinks you’re a thing,” he explains.

“They do?” you both ask.

“Oh definitely, I ship it,” he says with a chuckle.

Both you and Trixie give each other a nervous look before quickly looking back to him.

“That’s all circumstantial,” you explain.

“Oh, well I guess it’s official now then huh? Just know that I’m so happy for the two of you,” he says before he looks down and starts getting back to work, humming happily.

You both stare at him, before you both wordlessly and walk back upstairs not looking at each other. Once back in her chambers, Trixie turns around and says,

“Agree that my plan was terrible?”

“Agreed.”

“Agree to forget about this awkward situation?” she says.

“Already forgotten.”

“Agree to prank these jump to conclusion curs like there’s no tomorrow?”

“Bring it.” you smirk.

“Good,” she nods and walks off to a big table with paper and pencils on it.

“So what kind of pranks did you have in mind Captain?” Trixie asks.

First, Trixie and Ritz decide to search for a costume for her, but nothing seems to like her majesty, so in the end she go without costume.

"Well before we can get started on any of that, it's still Nightmare Night so we need to get you in a costume."

"I would agree with you, but I left all my costumes and many of my props in my wagon at the edge of this kingdom. Speaking of which, why hasn't it been brought to the castle yet?"

"Because..." you're about to answer when you trail off as you don't really have a good reason for not getting around to moving Trixie's wagon into the castle in the month you've both been there.

"Bureaucracy?" you offer uncertainty.

Trixie just rolls her eyes,

"Fine, I'll just keep my regal cape and crown. Sometimes expediency outweighs originality."

"Actually, this may be a good thing." you realize, "Now we don't need to figure out how to smuggle something as large as your wagon out of the kingdom and it can just be waiting for us when we make our escape. Anyway, getting back on topic..."

Use gorilla glue on every chair you see :)

Nice, but you don't have glue.

Put piranhas in the bobbing for turnips. Real world piranhas, not the fictional devour any flesh in sight kind.

Too dangerous and Dimondia doesn't have a notable fishing industry anyway (outside of fishing for fun and relaxation).

Hmm, maybe he could climb up to the top of the castle, yell for the diamond dogs attention, take every toilet paper roll in the entire kingdom, and TP EVERYTHING! Did I do good?

Well there's always the classic teepeeing someones house.

One thing s Trixie is usually very skilled at in most stories is illusions. So about using Trixie's skill with illusion spells to help pull pranks. One options you can use is make the Diamond DOGS looks like Diamond CATS. But it backfires when the Dogs use this chance to mock Cats.

Time for Pranking! ...Oh in my case, some pranking backfires! Mwahahahahahahah!
Time for Pranking! ...Oh in my case, some pranking backfires! Mwahahahahahahah!
Next, try to prank some of the head dogs by super glueing them together...only to have their popularity increase because of their great team work during a {Insert Contest soon).

Kichi comment

ONE PRANKING SPREE LATER

"Is there anything these mutts won't put up with!" Trixie exclaims in annoyance.

"Well dogs are known for their loyalty after all..." you reply.

We find you both back in Queen Trixianna's chambers as your ideas had... unorthodox results to say the least;

-You snuck up on some of your Guards and duct taped some of their limbs together, but it just gave them an edge in the six-pawed-race.

-You sprayed the barrack floors with WD-40 so everydog would start slipping and tripping everywhere and claimed it was on orders of the Queen, but they thought it was just part of their training.

-You went for the holiday classic of TP-ing the Kingdom, but the Diamond Dogs think you're just helping them decorate.

-You even had Trixie use her illusion spells to make all the Diamond Dogs in the kingdom look like cats, but this backfires as they use this to make fun of cats and have even more fun so Trixie stops the illusion.

To sum it all up: Everytime you and Trixie attempt to prank the Diamond Dogs, they think the Queen is just having fun and participating in the spirit of the new holiday, ironically increasing their faith in her.

"At this rate I'll be trapped here forever thanks to your stupid ideas!" Trixie groans.

"Well what do you want me to do? Pull a zebra out of my hat?" you snark.

"Last Trixie checked, that trick only works with a top or magician's hat." Trixie snarks back, "But getting serious, maybe we can ask that zebra for help? Or even send a letter to Princess Celestia? One royal to another."

"Uhhh..." you begin as you really don't want the royal alicorns getting involved.

The Queen got lucky with one alicorn. What the buck am I supposed to do against 2 or 3?! you think, I'd be locked up forever and then I'd never find out if my Hive is okay or not-But then again considering the Queen's temperament- Gah! Focus!

"I would not recommend that." you suggest, "While we know you changed, Twilight is Celestia's student so she probably already knows what happened back at Ponyville by now so she's not going to believe either of us-."

"What? But the Great and Apologetic Trixie was brainwashed by that amulet!" Trixie interrupts.

"Yes, but who knows if they'll believe us. Do you really want to take a chance on being thrown in jail, turned to stone, banished to the moon, or even all of the above?"

Taking your warning into consideration, Trixie says,

"Well... Perhaps it would be best to just stay under the radar until Princess Celestia forgets about the... 'incident'. But what about that zebra? If this was cursed by a zebra, maybe another zebra could help me."

"But we don't know any other zebras." you counter, "And even if we did, I doubt that every Zebra knows about potions and spells. That would be like thinking that every Earth Pony only worked in agriculture. Besides, the only Zebra we know of is around Ponyville and I've already made clear why we should avoid that place."

"Then let's go to war!" Trixie suddenly proclaims to your shock, "We'll have the Varangians spearhead an all-out assault on Ponyville and then maybe we sack the town to find something that could help- What in Celestia's name am I saying?" Trixie sobers up as she shakes her head to snap out of it.

"Crown must be on too tight. Not enough blood getting to your brain or something like that" you suggest.

"Well... Trixie doesn't have any more ideas. What about you?"

"Hmmm... *ding*"

BrownDog77 comment

"You still have fireworks?" you ask.

"Yes, back at the trailer, why?"

"Well judging by the amount of Diamond Dogs dressed as vacuum cleaners, lightning clouds, and crash cymbals, it's safe to assume that they really don't like loud noises-"

"Then we use the fireworks to make the Diamond Dogs lose faith in me long enough to get the crown off! Ritz you're a genius!" Trixie exclaims, hugging you.

Blushing slightly you say, "N-no need to thank me Trix. Just tell me where the wagon is so I can get the fireworks while you stay here and distract them with your presence."

"Northwest of here." Trixie responds.

"On it." you salute before running out the door.

"Oh, and it's under a cloaking spell at the moment so you need-"

"Oh, before I forget," you say popping your head back in the door, "Happy Nightmare Night!" before leaving.

NORTH BY NORTHWEST OF DIMONDIA

"Where is that gorram wagon?" you say to yourself in annoyance as you've been looking around the area for half an hour without luck. You found the mud pit that Trixie dropped her stuff in a month ago, but no sign of the wagon anywhere.

"Wait, Trixie's an illusionist. She must have used a cloaking spell." you theorize before slipping the Multi-Vision Goggles out of your hat and onto your eyes before turning them on and setting them to "X-ray mode". Looking around the forest, you see various animal skeletons moving around before you see a what looks like... a tiny cabin levitating off the ground?

"Bingo." you say as you approach the wagon, open the door, and enter as you deactivate, retract, and slide the goggles back up your forehead and under your Bowler hat.

After some digging around (and briefly patching a few cracks here and there with duct tape) you find a box filled with plenty of bottle rockets, fireworks, and sparklers, so you take the whole box. When you close the door to the trailer, you notice one of the fireworks is a massive metal rocket named "The Komodo 3000". Your curiosity (and your love of explosions cultivated from years of action flicks) piqued, you plant the massive firework, take out the Gold Cigarette Lighter, and light the fuse before running off to a safe distance with the box of fireworks. However, you didn't plant it firmly enough so it tips over to its side before the fuse burns up, blasts off through the trees, past terrified animals, and over a hill before you hear a massive explosion that shakes the area, knocks you down, and turns the dark dusk sky bright as noon for a few moments.

Getting back to your hooves, you run over to the top of the hill and see a large crater where a part of the forest should be. Whistling at the sheer size of the crater you muse to yourself,

“Okay... Note to Self: Don't use the big ones. Wouldn't want to blow up any hous- Hello..."

Your eyes light up when you notice that the crater has a sizable number of twinkling gems in it. You quickly jot down the location of this gem crater.

At least we can leave these dogs a parting gift when we ditch em. you think to yourself a you put the crate of fireworks on your back and run back to Dimondia.

It may be Dimondia's first Nightmare Night, but it's one that they are NEVER going to forget...

WHAT DO YOU DO?

Author's Note:

"LOADOUT" is in previous chapter and hasn't changed.

Sorry for the short chapter, didn't have enough comments to end the arc so I'll repeat what I said last chapter;

For better or worse, the Dimondia arc ENDS next chapter so give it all you got!

And guidelines;
1. Rainbow Dash and any of the other main ponies do NOT show up.
2. No exposing Ritz as an actual changeling.
3. It's Nightmare Night (aka the MLP analogue to Halloween) so feel free to use that for scares and costumes.
4. Remember, it's based on this comic arc;

Also, nopony answered last episode's question, I'll repeat it louder;

What is your favorite candy?
Seeing how it's [was] the day of free sweets, let us know what candy's your favorite. See you then!

Have fun.

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