Ten-Seconds Flat-Top

Rainbow Dash is the best flyer in Equestria. . . right? Turns out there's a new pony in town, a barnstormer who's putting on an air show where it seems the mane attraction is challenging Rainbow Dash to simulated combat! What's her secret, and can Rainbow find it out in time to beat her?

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 11 )

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The sad mare

The sad mare #1 · May 28th, 2012 · · ·

dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Derpy_Hooves.png will read later

Man Of War

Man Of War #2 · May 28th, 2012 · · ·

Very good over all, only one or two spelling/grammar mistakes and a word omission that I saw, like here:" “Well, that must be she now,” said Rarity." but nothing too major. Poor RD, well at least she has some new tricks to use, especially when she tries out for the Wonderbolts.

AuditumMannis

AuditumMannis #3 · May 28th, 2012 · · ·

I'd have to put out a great review for this. Every word you could have used correctly was just so. I believe I found 1 grammar mistake somemare but no matter! I found this quite entriguing and you kept my full attention throughout. I feel bad for RD though. But nice use of the newcomers name In the title. Keep up the good work. I'm only 15 and have little experience but I hope one day robe as good as this piece of literature I have read today. Thanks.

Rate: 8.5-10
Liked or Disliked: Liked
Notes: Find a friend who can get you good art for your fics. It is key to have a good picture as well as title to actually get your viewer to click on your story.

Another review by AuditumMannis

pjabrony

pjabrony #4 · May 28th, 2012 · · ·

656840

Actually, I think that's right. It's an obscure rule, but any time the main verb of a clause is a form of the verb "to be," (such as "am," "are," "is," "was," "were," and "be" itself) you're supposed to use the subjective pronoun ("I" instead of "me," "she" instead of "her," and "he" instead of "him.") If it were any other character than Rarity, I would have rewritten the sentence to avoid the rule, but she's posh enough that I thought it would work.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subject_complement

Man Of War

Man Of War #5 · May 28th, 2012 · · ·

658392
Ah, I see, whoops, sorry. I'm not exactly the best with grammar.

pjabrony

pjabrony #6 · May 28th, 2012 · · ·

659538

That's all right. I'm glad you liked the story.

Man Of War

Man Of War #7 · May 28th, 2012 · · ·

659545
Yeah, I definitely liked it. I love the stories where there is a lot of flying terminology and flight planning and stuff like that, plus adding in the simulation of a dog fight; it was great.

Amar