A Timber for a Wolf (Comment-driven)

by Solarkness

Hoof & Claw & Spear & Banana

APonyReadingFanfics' Comment

Your jump leads you to headbutting the guard (who you just now realize is a pegasus, with the other one being an earth-pony) with enough force to knock him down. Thinking you had knocked him out, you turned towards the second guard. Unfortunately the second guard is much faster than his comrade and has already assumed a defensive stance.

You scowl at that, and order him: "Release your battlestance!"

He doesn't move a single inch.

"This is an order!", you tell him, however he simply stares at you, before asking: "Who are you really?"

Tch, seems like he already figured me out... Well, what can I expect from a suit of armor with disguise-enchantments one can easily haggle down to being free.

Hard Cider's Comment

You get into your own personal fighting stance (well, its the stance you used when hunting, so it is pretty much a stance for charging).

And because of that, you do that. You charge, you slam. The latter you do with enough force to tip the guard over and into a roll. You try to choke him out, but your armored plating makes it difficult to get your hooves around him. Noticing your inability to fully pin him, the guard rolls you to the side. You're locked in a grapple, trying to gain leverage on the other.

The other guard, having not been knocked out contrary to your belief, stands back up, before seeing you and his partner grappling in a mud pit. Spectators occasionally throw money into said pit, and you use a few loose branches to put it into your pockets. The guard's wings become fully erect from the sight, and his nose begins to bleed a little.

'Oh Celestia', he thinks, 'This is HOT! I know we need to get those Horde guys buuuut... Com'on! Mud wrestling! I am getting really excited about this... Just, just look at them! Wait... is this my... blood? Aww, damn...'

Unfortunately, this guard has hemophilia, and his little bloody nose transformed into a raging torrent. A spectator sees the guard bleeding, and beckons for everyone to help in anyway possible. Some of the spectators drop some bits while rushing to help and / or observe the guard with the extreme case of hemophilia (you took those bits with your branches too... it is amazing how easily ponies overlook moving branches when there is a mud-pit battle).

After collecting every bit, and realizing no-one throws any anymore, you decide to end the mud-pit battle. You throw back your head, before slamming it into the head of the guard... It was then you remembered he was an earth-pony, and you are wood, meaning he can take that much better than you do.

Neon Star's Comment

While you are still fighting to stay conscious, your opponent stands up and exclaims: "Surrender, and accept your punishment. Else we will have to take drastic measures."

You stand up with a blurred vision, and ask: "You and who?"

"The rest of the Royal Guard and me of course!"

You laugh, before telling him: "I see no-one but a small fool whose in over his head..."

Your vision slowly gets clearer, and you see him right in front of you.

Wha-what?

He slams into you with enough force to throw you into a conveniently placed banana-stand.

"He", you cough, "There is something you need to know, small guard."

At that, he stops his repeated charge, and asks you glaring: "What?"

"Drastic situations require drastic measures!", you shout out as you start taking bananas with your paw (that is still looking like a hoof) and throwing them at him. You expected that to be his end, but there is one thing you quickly realized: Bananas are not the best throwing weapons.

You chuckle: "He he... mercy?"

The guard's face lightens up at that, and asks: "So you are coming with us on your..."

At that the branch flying above him carrying your great-sword slams down on him, with the hilt first.

Great, now I lost the -Future Pack Member-

With your foggy mind and vision, you decide to re-create the situation when you found him, or in other words you try to resume your search for the foals, completely forgetting about the other guard (who fainted and had to be brought to a hospital).

Just as you were about to start, you are stopped by a spectator: "Hey, can I have your signature? What you just did was great! Oh, is it for something like a movie?"

"A... movie?", you mutter before losing consciousness yourself.

---

You see a pixel picture, but you think you can see yourself in some sort of metal-room.

You hear a voice that sounds like yours, but at the same time it doesn't (it is in Timbergrowlish):

*gro(Hel--? Can --- hear me?)wl*, you hear a strange sound interrupting it (later on, you found out it was called static, you never heard about stuff like that in Zebrafrica).

*gro(HELLO? YOU ARE BEING INTERRUPTED BY A STRANGE NOISE!)wl*, you shout to notify him of that.

*gro(---- let me -- some ----- calibra-----... There, now it should be clearer.)wl*

*gro(It is)wl*, you reply dumbfounded.

*gro(Good. Now, I have some important things to tell you: You need to get out of your forest, there is a huge organisation called 'Crimson Knights', which will play an important part in your future life. Additionally...)wl*

*gro(Are you going to tell me something new? I mean, I already am out of my forest, I already search for the Crimson Knights to join them, and as my future pack they will play an important role. So, anything else?)wl*

You see pixel-you blinking, before resuming: *gro(Well, I can see you have been busy... So, you should know, once you become part of the Horde, you should transfer to the Applewood-branch. There, you ---- -- ---- --------- ------ -- - ------)wl*

*gro(What should I do? What do you want to tell me?)wl*, you cry out while panicking.

*gro(-- ---- not ---- time, - ---- you -------- --out ---- ------ed -- -- --men----!)wl*

You cannot make heads or tails out of what he said, and just cock your head in confusion.

---

The other timberwolf stares at the screen: "Do you think he understood the last part I told him?"

"OF COURSE NOT! YOUR EXPLANATION HAS BEEN INSUFFICIENT LIKE EVERYTHING OF YOURS!," screeched Dalekarian* (If you need to be reminded who he is, go to the part of Someone Still Alive).

"...well, I guess we will have to wait quite some time until we have gathered enough of the hatred still lingering around for another communication attempt.", the timberwolf mused, "Still, kind of funny that we were testing ways for this since a few hundred millennia, and that was the answer. Welp, we still have a lot of work to do."

---

"...prank! Stop it right this instance, it's not funny!", a voice screams into your ear.

"What is it...", you mutter sleepily, while opening your eyes.

The bystander who asked for your signature is looking down on you, you seemingly having collapsed earlier.

You stand up, muttering: "I am fine, there is nothing to worry about..."

With that said, you ignore him even though he repeatedly asked you again, before telling him to shut up, and that he is not going to get it.

So, now what was I about to do... Ah, right, those foals. I don't even want to know what trouble they have gotten themselves in while I stopped chasing them.

---

After following your lead to a comic-convention, and ringing down the stallion checking whether or not you are old enough for it, you finally arrive at your destination...

However, there is one problem: This place is overcrowded with booths and ponies wearing funny disguises. Luckily, since you had to swap your disguise from the Royal Guard Armour to the Hero's Cloak (The guards were notified about the fake-captain), you fit right in.

There is only one question:

What do you do?

Author's Note:

One important note: The foals are still in the 20hoof-long costume they found in the alley.

Or in other words, you might touch upon what their costume actually is. Remember, that it can be used to disguise three foals as a fully grown mare/stallion.

So, my dear lifeforce, it actually just now got officially confirmed, that you are a leader in the Crimson Knights in the main-fiction this is based on by the time of the third season. Yay! Luckily, this fiction is set in time before the current season of the main-fiction, meaning we still have a lot of time.

Well then, let's get rolling!

Comments

[joeyjumper94]

you decide to get some more costume parts so that you have more disguises to choose from.
your attention is drawn to stall run by a pony dressed as the merchant from resident evil.
you imagine buying one of his wares and being sent to another dimension and turning into what you dress as.
you're shaken from your thoughts when the stallion asks if you're okay.

[Baraka Obama]

you find a sword that eerily looks like the one that large being fighting the manticores, you are about to pick it up to buy it, but you see the price.

you non existent eyes widen to unimaginable proportions as you frantically backpedal away from it thinking 'NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE! SO MUCH NOPE!'

you seemingly not notice the weird stares you are receiving from everybody there as you continue backpedaling through the streets of the fair.

'who charges THAT much for a fraggin sword anyways!? I could buy a rope long enough to wrap around the moon and pull here, sell it to luna! I mean com- ooh! an oubliettes and ogres shop! that game is awesome! even a guard captain would love this!' you think as you seemingly forget about the overpriced store and make your way over to the shop

*meanwhile in the guard captains office*

Shining armor sneezed as he was doing paper work is his office, proceeding to knock all the papers everywhere. A look of horror donned his face as he stared at the strewn paper everywhere

"NOOOOOOOOOO, I WAS JUST ABOUT TO FINISH FOR THE DAY! NOW i HAVE TO SORT, RE-FILE, THEN STACK THEM AGAIN!"

*back to you*

'why do I suddenly feel like I trolled a person really hard? oh, well'

as you shrug as you place the oubliettes an ogres merchandise into you pockets and continue on with the fair

6736090
I see what you did there...