A River's monstache
You get this strange feeling from this serpent. You feel like this serpent has a sense of...fabulousness surrounding it.
You don't know how to feel about this, so you decide to just stare at him. But as you stare at him, you start to get intrampted in his moustache. The way it's just sitting there on it's face all moustachy. You start to gain a strange feeling to start chewing on his mustache. The more you stare at it the more you want to chew it.
Eventually minutes pass by and you start to drool slightly at the thought of eating his moustache. However you're snapped out of it when you notice the serpent giving you a strange look. You quickly smack yourself to keep it together before you open your mouth to say:
"Well, nice weather, right?", you laugh nervously as you back off.
"No, I have to say it is a horrid and completely unpleasant weather. You see the clouds there? They could ruin all the work I've done...", the river monster replied, also nervous.
There is a pregnant pause as seconds, minutes pass. The sea serpent's mind is currently working in overdrive trying, but failing, to find a way to approach this oh so delicate with his bountiful splendor while you chastise yourself for being a terrible starting conversation.
You cough into a forepaw and begin the conversation anew. "*cough*, Well, excu-"
You stop as you realise something: How does the serpent have any hair? Creatures with scales have no need of hair. So why does this one have a mustache?
You look at the elegance, and suddenly you feel a pang of jealousy. As you keep staring at it, the feeling increases, until you can't keep ignoring it anymore. The sea serpent looks at you expectant, seeing how you still haven't finished your sentence.
You wonder, if a creature with no need of hair can have a mustache, why not you?
A mustache might confuse your prey long enough for you to strike at it, and it would set you apart.
"How did you grow your mustache?", you ask the serpent. You really should stop calling him sea-serpent, he probably has a name... like Theodore or Alexander! 'Theodore' just looks confused at you, before telling you:
"I didn't shave?"
You shake your head: "No, how did you, a water serpent, grow one?"
"I really don't understand the question, I just did", he replies confused.
Hm... it probably is magical in origin then. Why do I feel the need to mutter it to myself? I... I think thinking it should be enough for me. But I really should get a magical mustache in the future, somehow, somewhen. I would be stylin' and profilin'! ...why do I use words I don't understand?
Seeing how he's nice, you start walking towards him to get a better look at his face.
Pentakill Apocalypse's Comment & Small Part still Hard Cider's
Suddenly you are interrupted by 'Theodore' screaming in a most digified manner. Fearing that your 'dirty exterior' may contanimate his most illustrious facial physique, he made some waves for you to deter you from your current path. However, what appeared to be small waves for him, in truth are huge waves for you.
"STAY BACK YOU FILTHY MONGREL!", 'Theodore' shouts, "I JUST FINISHED STYLING MY MUSTACHE! I DONT NEED A MUCKY TIMBERWOLF DIRTYING IT AGAIN!"
"BUT YOU LIVE IN WATER!", you scream back while trying to dodge the waves ,"HOW DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE!"
Theodore stops splashing and seems to put on a 'thinking' face "You know, you do have a point."
"YA THINK!?" you shout back while trying to regain your breath.
"Terribly sorry about that", 'Theodore' responds "My name is ser Steven Magnet, but you may call me Magnet or preferably Steven for short. May I inquire about yours?"
You give him an incredulous look before giving a sweatdrop and a sigh, "I'll have to get back to you on the name bit."
"Ah, its alright, I will just call you Mordekaiser for now", Steven says before giving you a curious look "Say, you are the first timberwolf I have ever seen that can talk Equish, let alone be friendly in any way."
"I guess you can say im special", you shrug.
As you come back to him, he sniffs into the air.
"Um...what are you doing?", you ask him puzzled.
"Sorry about that, my dear", he responds while taking a whiff of you. He rears back all of a sudden in cringe, and asks:
"Woo! When is the last time since you had a bath?"
You chuckle about that, before replying: "Uh, never? I mean, Timberwolves don't really need baths."
The serpent gasps. "You poor thing! Here, let me lend you assistance", he says as he swishes under the river.
You open your eyes in shock, and cry: "Wait, wait --- NOOOOOOOO!", but it is too late.
A precise splash of water pours out and it lands on you, soaking you to the stick and leaves in your body. You are left dripping wet and cold, since you have no innate heating system, but, most of all, odorless!
Oh, and there is the risk of your wood rotting away, but that is not important.
"How am I supposed to mark my territory now!?", you yell at him enraged, not caring that he is much stronger than you, "Now even Manticores won't recognise and avoid me! I'm going to be in a heap of trouble and annoyance of other random everfreeling stumble upon me."
You turn around angrily, and think to yourself:
Tch, it's not like Steven was even interesting! The burning guy is much more interesting, it is not like Steven was the only pleasant conversation-partner I have had in the last years...
You storm off, ignoring the plea of Steven: "Wait, I didn't mean to..."
As you arrive back at your pack's cave, you see signs of battle everywhere. While coming here you had thought you could find the 'Flamer', by retracing your pawsteps to the manticore-field, but you decide to check on your packmates first.
As you look around in the room, you see wood splinters and ash everywhere, you follow it to the secret exit, and even there were ashes of burnt packmates!
You couldn't see any Timberwolves anywhere, which is strange because there always were atleast three of them in here.
What happened here?, you wonder.
As you look around, you feel the depression of lone wolves* creeping into your mind, your soul.
You realise you have to find a new pack, somewhere else, where they cannot die. This has to take priority, even over 'Flamer'. You will have to get the 'Depression of Lone Wolves' (DLW) under control, or you will be seriously handicapped.
You decide you will have to find people willing to accept Timberwolves without packs, and realise something:
You once were for a while in Zebrafrica, having switched places with a desert fox. You heard he didn't like it in the Everfree, and you didn't like it in the savanna. Loss - loss.
But while you were there, you heard about something called a 'Newspaper'. It is rumored to have all important information, probably including what you are searching for.
Somehow, you have to get a newspaper to get a new pack. Preferably without getting attacked by ponies, but how do you keep someone from realising what you are?
What do you do?
Depression of lone wolves
-Timberwolves without or with a dead pack begin to feel overwhelming depression, causing suicidal thoughts
-The progress of depressing usually takes a long time, depending on the timberwolf
-The pack does not have to be made out of other Timberwolves
-Only three packs are confirmed, but all have a great rivalry and would never accept wolves from other packs
I guess it is pretty obvious from where you have to get the newspaper, right?
I try to get the adventure on track...
What track? I will explain...
later. Next chapter, hopefully. There are certain things you gotta know about, and if you want you can add your own articles into it. I'm not judging, I am putting it down.
Sorry if something seems bad (like the pun on the title, Steven referred to himself as Sea Monster in episode 100, or the storyline so far).
Oh, and the DLW I told you about? Yeah, that should be pretty good motivation. Could lead to death. 'Flamer' AKA Mars Strike will appear at a later date again, don'tcha worry Pentakill Apocalypse! In some time I might start to copy DWC (Author of The Life of a Wanted Changeling) even more by asking questions here 
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Great chap man! The grammar could be better, but besides that it was great!
Anyway:
As you start to ponder on how to find this 'Newspaper', you begin to realize something. Your packmates bodies (or what's left of them at least) are still smoking. Which means that these were all fresh kills, and whoever or whatever did this to them could still be in the area. Watching and waiting for you to drop your guard and turn you into a smoldering pile of ash as well.
Deciding that you'd like to continue living and not end up like your ex-packmates, you make a beeline for the entrance of your old cave. You figured if whatever did this knew about the secret exit, then it could be waiting there to kill off any survivors who try to take it. So logic states that exiting through the way you came would give you a higher chance of living. As you exit the entrance you stop to take a breather. However as you do your ears pick up noises. Not just any noises, pony noises. You can just hear the sounds of hoof steps in the distance, as well as a conversation. Deciding that finding those ponies and following them would be a good idea, you take off after the noises. If whatever killed your packmates follows you, you could use the ponies as a distraction for you to escape.
6230580
I like where this is going.
Using your new found scent (or lack of one), you make your way closer to what you assume to be ponies without alerting them since your 'natural' timberwolf scent would have cause them to flee or vomit. Sometimes it's both. 'I should probably feel grateful for that bath Steven gave me, but i'm still kind of miffed since he didn't ask first before throwing a freakin tsunami at me.'
Making your way closer, you see a modest sized encampment with ponies and a few griffins milling about. Sure, it's uncommon for ponies to traverse through the Everfree, usually believing they are taking a shortcut if they lack the foreknowledge of the notorious forest. It's rarer for ponies and griffins to travel together. However, this is not what piqued your interest. A majority of the caravan appears to be wearing western style apparel with the few exceptions wearing padded armor. Although you usually stay away from civilization('ponies need to build some backbone'), you can recall the map from a not so luck adventurer. You believe that this caravan must have come from either Dodge or Appleloosa. 'By Gaea, these ponies and their puns'. As you continue with your covert observation of the caravan,but you notice an argument break out between a griffinness caravaneer and an earth pony stallion.
I was using this map
BREAKING NEWS:
HOMELESS PONY KILLED WHILE BEING DRAGGED AROUND TOWN BY STRAY BROWN DOG
HOMELESS PONY'S EYES DONATED TO BLIND STALLION AFTER SAVING BAR KEEP FOR FIRE!
if you watched family guy, you would get the reference
I now have an urge to wear a suit of armor and run around whacking people with a mace whilst yelling huehuehue...
MORE BREAKING NEWS:
FIVE GUARDS PONIES, TWO CRIMINALS AND ONE SAXOPHONE PLAYING STALLION DROP DEAD FROM EXHAUSTION, DEHYDRATION, AND STARVATION AFTER RUNNING AROUND IN COMEDIC FASHION FOR 4 MONTHS STRAIGHT. SAXOPHONE PLAYERS NAME MOUNTED IN THE MUSIC HALL OF FAME WITH A RECORDING OF SONG PLAYED BEFORE DEATH. NAMED 'YACKETY SAX'
While you walk to the path to the town to get a newspaper, you realize that ponies are definitely going to freak out at seeing your appearance. You and your pack know not to venture near the apple scented ones, they have always been known to kick hard.
You have heard rumors however of a shaman however that lives within the woods. She is said to usually travel in a cloak, and has been left alone by timberwolf, manticore and other creatures do to her aura.
If you are sneaky enough, maybe, just maybe you can take one of her spare cloaks.
You walk towards the shaman's dwelling, and you can smell the magic in the air, and it's some pretty bad juju. There are masks on the outside of the house, and an aura of unease just hits you. Luckily, you see that there is no light on in the window, so maybe she isn't home.
Sneaking around the back, you see a laundry line, and sure enough, there are some cloaks hanging out to dry. You snag one, not even checking the pockets and take off. You don't know what a shaman would do to a thief, but you aren't going to stick around to find out.
Find some sort of disguise, ponys don't much like timber wolfs do to the fact that that have a tendency to maim/kill ponys. And what's with THE ONE AND ONLY thing?
6231992 I have to ask you: Have you seen another undeadponylord around?
And Trixie always says Great and Mighty about Trixie, so why can't I call you The ONE AND ONLY?
6230580 Nice to hear that
Sorry if my grammar is pretty bad, could you please point out which mistakes I do the most? I'd prefer to fix them now before I do them all the time.
6231617 *cough* Pretty fascinating he picked exactly that name, isn't it?
Yaaaa im gonna murder this Flamer dick.
6232604 hue. oh and its the GRRRRREAT (lol tony the tiger) AND POWERFUL TRRRRRRRIXIE! you gotta roll the R's
6233007
Ignoring your own advice, eh?
6233493 if its the second letter in the word, you roll the R. I cant imagine POWERRRRRRRRRFUL
6233606 I do. Well, not everyone is perfect, eh? Oh, and my first real-life name is actually Per... Just saying.
As you wander through the forest on your quest to find a new pack, you come across a strange crack in the side of a stone ledge. Naturally you get a strange urge to kick it and it opens into a cavern entrance. You head inside where you find an old monkey with a long beard (Why is it you cannot grow such majestic facial hair?) and a long cloak.
Old Monkey: It's dangerous to go alone. Take this!
*The monkey tosses a red cloak to you*
You:Um...Thanks?
Monkey:Yep use it well. It will help keep pony magic from sensing you and will help mask your natural odor from those without a keen sense of smell. Keep that in mind.
You:Cool that should help a lot. I never got your....
*you look around to find yourself alone in the cave.
You:...name.
Hmm, you gotta have an escape plan. So watch out with yo sniffing timberwolf senses.