this is the story of fluttershy and rainbow dash humanized and instead of flight camp its track camp and the wonder bolts are equestria's best free runners.
Chapters (5)
fabianguzman18
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Use punctuation more and use your dialogue sparely
639504 please explain
639509 well in today society bad grammar is the norm
does anyone have a picture of child human fluttershy and rainbowdash
640233 You didn't place full stops and commas when necessary, or your sentences become too long. And you can actually try to explain the dialogue in describing it, not listing everything they said.
642216 sorry new at this will try to make it better next time please besides the awful grammer what do you think of my story?
642280 Seems interesting, will continue reading though.
Ok? Still needs some improvement though. Read other stories to get a placement for things, I guess…
ok>>643603
By the way don't be like Rainbow Dash if you see some one getting bullied do something dont just stand there
Where the fucks the human part?
665156 they are humans and there in track camp not flight camp
Hey there! I stumbled upon your story and I want to use it! I'm making my own version of it:
Today marked the very first day of track camp and this was Dash’s time to prove herself. All she needed to do was to be ‘best of the litter’ and she might have a chance at scoring a spot with the Wonderbolts, a title that was given to the best athletes at the event. She was handed a light blue jersey by one of the officials and was sent to stand with her age group. Rainbow moaned as she read out the number on the back – 16. She didn’t want to be sixteen. She wanted only to be number one. She hesitated for a second but pulled the shirt over her torso reluctantly. There was no point in taking off her undershirt as there seemed to be no private areas in sight, plus, being only 6 o’clock in the morning; the air was too cold and foggy to undress anyway. She sat down on the grass, which was still fresh with the morning dew and stuffed her hand into her bag. She pulled out a dark blue sports jacket and wrapped it around herself, shuddering in the cold as she waited for her turn to run.
Tell me what you think!
We could so collab or something!
669199 Hmkay
How is it?
how's what?
My version so far!
200% cooler than mine i was wondering 66922 i give you the go ahead Also tell me what you think of my sequel im getting started on by the way im working on anther flutterdash story so don't get them confused here the plot Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy have just finished camp there in School everything is fine until Flutttershy revives some new's that could end a young friendship or could make it into something more. So what do you think so far
Hmm... Not bad, but it definitely need a little work. We need a reason for Fluttershy to be all sad and stuff. You work on the second story, while I fix up the first. Afterwards you should send me the second story and then I will put it in my own words.
That's right! THE FUN HAS BEEN DOUBLED! (can you believe there are no Luna emoticons?)
cool thanks man totally
your welcome but thanks for the help>>670731
You should go onto Everyponies Voice - The livestream channel I'm a mod on. We could talk about the story there. It'll be a bit more private.
It's also known as the Brony Army too, so don't be fooled. You have to type up the three main key words - Everyponies Voice Livestream - into google.
670767 i'm in but noones there
670825 how to i get in there
Hmm... I've just added more to the story.
Today marked the very first day of track camp and this was Dash’s time to prove herself. All she needed to do was to be ‘best of the litter’ and she might have a chance at scoring a spot with the Wonderbolts, a title that was given to the best athletes at the event. She was handed a light blue jersey by one of the officials and was sent to stand with her age group. Rainbow moaned as she read out the number on the back – 16. She didn’t want to be sixteen. She wanted only to be number one. She hesitated for a second but pulled the shirt over her torso reluctantly. There was no point in taking off her undershirt as there seemed to be no private areas in sight, plus, being only 6 o’clock in the morning; the air was too cold and foggy to undress anyway. She sat down on the grass, which was still fresh with the morning dew and stuffed her hand into her bag. She pulled out a dark blue sports jacket and wrapped it around herself, shuddering in the cold as she waited for her turn to run.
Rainbow Dash fell into a nervous daze as she watched in awe as numbers were called and races were run, each participant seeming to go faster than the last. She was startled when she heard her number. This was partly due to nerves, but more so about the thought of losing, after all, she hates losing.
She pressed her hands against the ground and pushed herself up. Every step towards the starting line seemed to take forever and it didn’t help that those who have already run were sitting at the sidelines, calling her names such as ‘Rainbow Crash’ and ‘Skittles’. She ignored them and continued on to the starting line.
Dash gave a nervous glance to the guy with the starting gun. She then stretched her legs for a brief warm-up. The man raised his arm, pointing the gun to the sky.
“On your marks!”
Rainbow made sure that her leg was just behind the starting line, readying herself for the upcoming test.
“Get set!”
Rainbow Dash then lowered herself into her starting position.
BANG!
She was off, pumping her arms and sprinting as fast as she could. Dash became deaf to everything but the sound of her feet thudding against the grass. She seemed to be running at faster speed than what she could ever dream of mustering. Not much more to go now. She held out her arm as she crossed the line in a hope that it would somehow decrease her time, even if it were only by milliseconds.
Just copy and paste this:
http://www.livestream.com/everponiesvoice?rsvptoeventid=421293
hey ill do it 670990 just send me the entire chapter in a message when your done with it completely and ill edit my story Kay
Ok.
671232 Hope to talk to you soon
Today marked the very first day of track camp and this was Dash’s time to prove herself. All she needed to do was to be ‘best of the litter’ and she might have a chance at scoring a spot with the Wonderbolts, a title that was given to the best athletes at the event. She was handed a light blue jersey by one of the officials and was sent to stand with her age group. Rainbow moaned as she read out the number on the back – 16. She didn’t want to be sixteen. She wanted only to be number one. She hesitated for a second but pulled the shirt over her torso reluctantly. There was no point in taking off her undershirt as there seemed to be no private areas in sight, plus, being only 6 o’clock in the morning; the air was too cold and foggy to undress anyway. She sat down on the grass, which was still fresh with the morning dew and stuffed her hand into her bag. She pulled out a dark blue sports jacket and wrapped it around herself, shuddering in the cold as she waited for her turn to run.
Rainbow Dash fell into a nervous daze as she watched in awe as numbers were called and races were run, each participant seeming to go faster than the last. She was startled when she heard her number. This was partly due to nerves, but more so about the thought of losing, after all, she hates losing.
She pressed her hands against the ground and pushed herself up. Every step towards the starting line seemed to take forever and it didn’t help that those who have already run were sitting at the sidelines, calling her names such as ‘Rainbow Crash’ and ‘Skittles’. She ignored them and continued on to the starting line.
Dash gave a nervous glance to the guy with the starting gun. She then stretched her legs for a brief warm-up. The man raised his arm, pointing the gun to the sky.
“On your marks!”
Rainbow made sure that her leg was just behind the starting line, readying herself for the upcoming test.
“Get set!”
Rainbow Dash then lowered herself into her starting position.
BANG!
She was off, pumping her arms and sprinting as fast as she could. Dash became deaf to everything but the sound of her feet thudding against the grass. She seemed to be running at a faster speed than what she could ever dream of mustering. Not much more to go now. She held out her arm as she crossed the line in a hope that it would somehow decrease her time, even if it were only by milliseconds.
She fell into a heap on the ground, shaking from the adrenaline and sick from pushing herself too far. Her breathing was rapid and she began to pale. Despite this, she only cared about her time.
“Congratulations, Skittles! You got 24.3 seconds! The second fastest so far!” cheered the woman with the stopwatch.
“Wh-What!?” blurted out Rainbow Dash, still huffing and heaving, “Only second!? Who was first?” She needed to be first. The only thing worse than losing is coming second – so close to winning, but you’re still a loser.
“That would be me!” boasted an older girl. On her jersey was the number Rainbow Dash was seeking the whole time – Number 1. Dash could feel her face going red.
“You see, I came in with a decent time of 20 seconds flat,” she stopped and smiled at Rainbow Dash to twist the knife, “I’m sure that you tried you’re best. Better luck next time!”
Rainbow Dash was devastated. She started to walk towards her group as tears formed in her eyes.
“Hey, 16! Get off the track and sit with your group!” yelled out an official.
“I already am!” cried out Dash, who could no longer hold back her tears.
She turned around to see number 17, a small, frail girl with large eyes and hair that covered them.
good but i kinda liked the trainer who helps her in a way can you include him
Okay. First Chapter's done.
Today marked the very first day of track camp and this was Dash’s time to prove herself. All she needed to do was to be ‘best of the litter’ and she might have a chance at scoring a spot with the Wonderbolts, a title that was given to the best athletes at the event. She was handed a light blue jersey by one of the officials and was sent to stand with her age group. Rainbow moaned as she read out the number on the back – 16. She didn’t want to be sixteen. She wanted only to be number one. She hesitated for a second but pulled the shirt over her torso reluctantly. There was no point in taking off her undershirt as there seemed to be no private areas in sight, plus, being only 6 o’clock in the morning; the air was too cold and foggy to undress anyway. She sat down on the grass, which was still fresh with the morning dew and stuffed her hand into her bag. She pulled out a dark blue sports jacket and wrapped it around herself, shuddering in the cold as she waited for her turn to run.
Rainbow Dash fell into a nervous daze as she watched in awe as numbers were called and races were run, each participant seeming to go faster than the last. She was startled when she heard her number. This was partly due to nerves, but more so about the thought of losing, after all, she hates losing.
She pressed her hands against the ground and pushed herself up. Every step towards the starting line seemed to take forever and it didn’t help that those who have already run were sitting at the sidelines, calling her names such as ‘Rainbow Crash’ and ‘Skittles’. She ignored them and continued on to the starting line.
Dash gave a nervous glance to the guy with the starting gun. She then stretched her legs for a brief warm-up. The man raised his arm, pointing the gun to the sky.
“On your marks!”
Rainbow made sure that her leg was just behind the starting line, readying herself for the upcoming test.
“Get set!”
Rainbow Dash then lowered herself into her starting position.
BANG!
She was off, pumping her arms and sprinting as fast as she could. Dash became deaf to everything but the sound of her feet thudding against the grass. She seemed to be running at a faster speed than what she could ever dream of mustering. Not much more to go now. She held out her arm as she crossed the line in a hope that it would somehow decrease her time, even if it were only by milliseconds.
She fell into a heap on the ground, shaking from the adrenaline and sick from pushing herself too far. Her breathing was rapid and she began to pale. Despite this, she only cared about her time.
“Congratulations, Skittles! You got 24.3 seconds! The second fastest so far!” cheered the woman with the stopwatch.
“Wh-What!?” blurted out Rainbow Dash, still huffing and heaving, “Only second!? Who was first?” She needed to be first. The only thing worse than losing is coming second – so close to winning, but you’re still a loser.
“That would be me!” boasted an older girl. On her jersey was the number Rainbow Dash was seeking the whole time – Number 1. Dash could feel her face going red.
“You see, I came in with a decent time of 20 seconds flat,” she stopped and smiled at Rainbow Dash to twist the knife, “I’m sure that you tried you’re best. Better luck next time!”
Rainbow Dash was devastated. She started to walk towards her group as tears formed in her eyes.
“Hey, 16! Get off the track and sit with your group!” yelled out an official.
“I already am!” cried out Dash, who could no longer hold back her tears.
She turned around to see number 17, a small, frail girl with large eyes and hair that covered them. Dash felt a strange connection between herself and seventeen as she too was being mocked as she walked up to meet her fate. She found herself examining her. The smaller girl had a beautiful figure and silky, smooth hair that bobbed against her face as she stepped up to the line. Her eyes were hard to see as they were hidden behind it, but every now and then Dash caught a glimpse of them. They were the most amazing eyes she had ever seen and that made Rainbow wonder why she would ever want to hide them.
“Wow… She’s kind of… cute…” she whispered to herself, almost instantly realising the direction her words were taking her. She immediately shut her mouth and blushed heavily, glancing around to see if anyone heard her. Luckily, the other competitors were too busy discussing scores and socialising to notice.
“Rainbow Dash, what are you even thinking?” she asked herself, “You like guys, not girls…”
“On your marks!”
Rainbow Dash spun around to see seventeen in a ready stance for her trial.
“Get set!”
BANG!
Seventeen was late off the starting dash, but she was trying her best. She flailed her arms about and tried to pick up speed, but fell flat on her face. Everybody started to laugh. Everybody but Rainbow Dash.
“THAT’S ENOUGH!” she screamed, “You all have no respect, do you!? She gave it a go! That’s all that matters! Nobody laughed at you when you ran!”
“That’s because we don’t suck like Klutzershy!” blurted out one of the chubby girls.
“She’s right, girls,” one of the officials informed the group, “Anybody who further insults Fluttershy will have to run 100 laps as punishment.
“Aw… Come on! We’re just having a little fun!”
“That’s it! Romper! 100 laps! NOW!”
Put this as another story. This one has too many dislikes. See ya soon!
Disregard the last comment
Today marked the very first day of track camp and this was Dash’s time to prove herself. All she needed to do was to be ‘best of the litter’ and she might have a chance at scoring a spot with the Wonderbolts, a title that was given to the best athletes at the event. She was handed a light blue jersey by one of the officials and was sent to stand with her age group. Rainbow moaned as she read out the number on the back – 16. She didn’t want to be sixteen. She wanted only to be number one. She hesitated for a second but pulled the shirt over her torso reluctantly. There was no point in taking off her undershirt as there seemed to be no private areas in sight, plus, being only 6 o’clock in the morning; the air was too cold and foggy to undress anyway. She sat down on the grass, which was still fresh with the morning dew and stuffed her hand into her bag. She pulled out a dark blue sports jacket and wrapped it around herself, shuddering in the cold as she waited for her turn to run.
Rainbow Dash fell into a nervous daze as she watched in awe as numbers were called and races were run, each participant seeming to go faster than the last. She was startled when she heard her number. This was partly due to nerves, but more so about the thought of losing, after all, she hates losing.
She pressed her hands against the ground and pushed herself up. Every step towards the starting line seemed to take forever and it didn’t help that those who have already run were sitting at the sidelines, calling her names such as ‘Rainbow Crash’ and ‘Skittles’. She ignored them and continued on to the starting line.
Dash gave a nervous glance to the guy with the starting gun. She then stretched her legs for a brief warm-up. The man raised his arm, pointing the gun to the sky.
“On your marks!”
Rainbow made sure that her leg was just behind the starting line, readying herself for the upcoming test.
“Get set!”
Rainbow Dash then lowered herself into her starting position.
BANG!
She was off, pumping her arms and sprinting as fast as she could. Dash became deaf to everything but the sound of her feet thudding against the grass. She seemed to be running at a faster speed than what she could ever dream of mustering. Not much more to go now. She held out her arm as she crossed the line in a hope that it would somehow decrease her time, even if it were only by milliseconds.
She fell into a heap on the ground, shaking from the adrenaline and sick from pushing herself too far. Her breathing was rapid and she began to pale. Despite this, she only cared about her time.
“Congratulations, Skittles! You got 24.3 seconds! The second fastest so far!” cheered the woman with the stopwatch.
“Wh-What!?” blurted out Rainbow Dash, still huffing and heaving, “Only second!? Who was first?” She needed to be first. The only thing worse than losing is coming second – so close to winning, but you’re still a loser.
“That would be me!” boasted an older girl. On her jersey was the number Rainbow Dash was seeking the whole time – Number 1. Dash could feel her face going red.
“You see, I came in with a decent time of 20 seconds flat,” she stopped and smiled at Rainbow Dash to twist the knife, “I’m sure that you tried you’re best. Better luck next time!”
Rainbow Dash was devastated. She started to walk towards her group as tears formed in her eyes.
“Hey, 16! Get off the track and sit with your group!” yelled out an official.
“I already am!” cried out Dash, who could no longer hold back her tears.
She turned around to see number 17, a small, frail girl with large eyes and hair that covered them. Dash felt a strange connection between herself and seventeen as she too was being mocked as she walked up to meet her fate. She found herself examining her. The smaller girl had a beautiful figure and silky, smooth hair that bobbed against her face as she stepped up to the line. Her eyes were hard to see as they were hidden behind it, but every now and then Dash caught a glimpse of them. They were the most amazing eyes she had ever seen and that made Rainbow wonder why she would ever want to hide them.
“Wow… She’s kind of… cute…” she whispered to herself, almost instantly realising the direction her words were taking her. She immediately shut her mouth and blushed heavily, glancing around to see if anyone heard her. Luckily, the other competitors were too busy discussing scores and socialising to notice.
“Rainbow Dash, what are you even thinking?” she asked herself, “You like guys, not girls…”
“On your marks!”
Rainbow Dash spun around to see seventeen in a ready stance for her trial.
“Get set!”
BANG!
Seventeen was late off the starting dash, but she was trying her best. She flailed her arms about and tried to pick up speed, but fell flat on her face. Everybody started to laugh. Everybody but Rainbow Dash.
“THAT’S ENOUGH!” she screamed, “You all have no respect, do you!? She gave it a go! That’s all that matters! Nobody laughed at you when you ran!”
“That’s because we don’t suck like Klutzershy!” blurted out one of the chubby girls.
“She’s right, girls!” one of the officials informed the group, “Anybody who further insults Fluttershy will have to run 100 laps as punishment!”
“Aw… Come on! We’re just having a little fun!”
“That’s it! Romper! 100 laps! NOW!”
Put this as another story. This one has too many dislikes. See ya soon!
kay tell me when you're done
First part of chapter 2:
Fluttershy fled the scene and, because of Rainbow Dash’s sudden protectiveness of this stranger, she felt the responsibility to help her. Dash tracked her down to the girl’s bathroom by following the soft sound of sniffling.
“Hey there… uh… Fluttershy. It’s going to be okay.” Rainbow Dash said as she lowered her hand onto her shoulder.
“No… I… I hate embarrassing myself. I…” Fluttershy emptied the contents of her stomach into the nearest toilet and stayed there; face hovering over the foul-smelling slime.
“I’m so useless!”
“No you’re not… You…”
Can I also have your password so that uploading my story can become so much easier. Remember, there's no I in TEAM, but there sure is in CONFIDENTIAL. Seeing as there are 2 I's, that means that it can only be confidential between 2 people.
My logic remains un-flawed!
1. why are you talking to yourself
2. bad grammar is not the norm, it's just what lazy kids do and then they wonder why they didn't pass
3. I know this is old but seriously rewrite
1472108 yeah my writing has improved since then and i thought this fic was six feet under but okay rewrite it is
i29.photobucket.com/albums/c273/werewolf2000ad/album2/3243720-20artist3AGlancoJusticar20derpy_hooves20dumb_bell20fluttershy20hoops20human20humanized20rainbow_dash.jpg
1665053 new story idea thank you good sir