March to the Scaffold
written by Foxy Kimchi
A Gallery
Captured
Funeral
What have you done to me?
Hitting Blueblood
Despondent
A Sandwich
Meet Mortar
A Waltz
Meeting Twilight
Remembrance
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Here are some extra pictures that ArthurPearson did to me. Again thanks for all the support you guys have given me. As mentioned in epilogue, I am working on another changeling story here.
Thanks,
Foxy Kimchi
Ooooooh... AAaaahhhhh.
Well I liked 'em! xD I thought they were nice ^_^
Suddenly having them in the last chapter threw me for a loop, but they're pretty cool.
The apologist tone is getting out of hand here. The whole fic was about Chrysalis' redemption, so to speak, but at this point she's pretty much calling Twilight out on being a pampered child and using the usual "woe is me" to justify everything she did. Which only works because Twilight is too compassionate for her own good. Why, Chrysalis got pretty close to asking Twilight herself to apologize for living such an awfully privileged life and being as mean to poor little Chrysalis as to demand a simple 'sorry' for attempting to enslave her nation, driving her friends against her and hurting her family. "Not gonna say sorry for breaking your leg because I could've broken your neck instead." Brilliant. That's some pre-school grade logical fallacy right there, Silver.
Hell, I understand you were trying to introduce a second point of view throughout the fic and rid Chrysalis of the traditional villain stigma, but there's a fine line between that and poorly executed apologism and this time you got dangerously close to crossing it.
wait. when did she meet Twilight?
EDIT: Nvm
2625806
Your name amuses me.
2625575
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2625619
Thanks
2625663
Yeah, especially in the 1st world country, starvation is a hard thing to grasp. I remember reading a book in high school, can't remember the name, where talking about a boy facing hunger problems in the city. One thing that stuck out to me, was that one of the methods he use to help curb hunger was that he would just fill his stomach with water to get that feeling. Hunger is a power feeling, and it drives people to do crazy things.
2625844
Thanks for the reply, hopefully I can explain my thought process here. I did not intend for Chrysalis to somehow reverse the situation and now demand an apology from Twilight. What I wanted to show Chrysalis can't judge her for her actions, which Twilight was doing. She was not blaming or mad at Twilight being born into a pampered life. No one can control where they are born into, and Chrysalis knows that.
What she is calling out is that Twilight is somewhat appalled that Chrysalis would do something out of hunger, which she never fully experienced. Chrysalis was arguing that when someone is pushed so farm into a corner, they get extremely desperate. Which was Chrysalis situation. For example, Twilight almost destroyed her town because she was simply worried about a late assignment. So it is not fair that Twilight can call out Chrysalis for doing a desperate act in a desperate time, where Chrysalis actual had a real problem. Twilight believes Chrysalis did this horrible act, the most evil thing she could have done. Chrysalis response was that she could have done much more worse things, things that could have assured her victory. But the point she was making was that she just wanted a meal, and nothing more. Yeah she got carried away when she went overboard, but it was never out of pure malice. And I think at that point, Twilight comes to the realization and what she has done in desperation. So maybe she understands it more now after hearing Chrysalis.
But this does not justify Chrysalis' action in itself. She said she knew it was wrong now. If she knew what she knew now before the invasion, she would have done things differently. But the point she is making is that she didn't, and thus she felt it was the only way. In addition to that, lets look at her life now, she is happy and content, and she has a lover. So after all she did, and ended up with the life she has right now, can she really regret her actions? It is a very selfish notion here, but she is being honest. She is not throwing some half ass apology, she is being honest, which is a sign of respect to Twilight.
What I am trying to show that Chrysalis is not evil, but she is far from perfect either. She has faults. So what I was trying to do was not make Chrysalis demand an apology from Twilight, but just take Twilight of her high horse (pun not intended).
So in the end, the point I was trying to make was that Twilight and Chrysalis resolved their conflict. By no MEANS are they lovey dovey friends, and still do not like each other. But they are not going spend effort to hate one another and plot some revenge. It is just a mutual truce.
Does that help clarify things?
Wow, I think this is the strangest basis for a story I've ever seen. Perhaps I'll give it a read...
2626019
Well be happy if you did!
:D
2626019
Let me tell you that the read is worth it. The writing quality, the pacing and the characterization are all pretty good. Do give it a try.
Sandwich :3
I am just wondering if there is going to be a sequel?
2626354
I am not planning on it. To me I want the story to a definitive, conclusive end. What is Silver and Mortar do with their life is up to the reader. My biggest worry is that if I do a sequel, where does it end? You like some TV series that just don't have an ending, that not as fulfilling in my opinion.
BUT, I am working another changeling story. I already posted it here. Hopefully that can satisfy the need.
I like this story, it gives cause and reasons behind what happened, and, even gives a fair, yet good resalution to the whole thing. Does not make Crys into a good two shoes, just gives her, umm if you will, a soul.
2626006
I understood your thought process. I just don't agree with some of the conclusions.
Chrysalis' explanation that she won't apologize because she doesn't feel sorry, to begin with. Bullshit rhetoric on her part. By all means, after the changes she's gone through, she should feel sorry. She now understands it was a rash, stupid decision that hurt others and she since realized there were better solutions out there, ones she didn't even consider before because of her pride and short-sightedness. She also came to care for the ones she hurt back then. Feeling this way about your decisions and saying you don't regret them is nothing but a pitiful attempt at self-deception. Realizing your mistakes and wishing you didn't make them in the first place is the whole concept of being sorry in a nutshell, her "I didn't know better at that point so I don't regret it now" reasoning just doesn't hold water, and by extension, leaves the explanation that she didn't apologize because she respects Twilight and doesn't want to give her a half-assed apology, nothing more but a non-functional husk of rhetoric.
Getting Twilight off her high horse? What? Faced with someone the whole country wanted dead without having a hundredth of the reason Twilight had, she was willing to let her off the hook with a word of apology. She got sneered at instead, and still put everything behind her. High horse? Mahatma Gandhi is the embodiment of bloodthirst in comparison.
Yes, Chrysalis is a massive tsundere, we get it, but if she's too full of herself to even say sorry in the end, what point was there to anything that happened so far? The whole conversation felt like Twilight was caught red-hooved hating poor ol' Chrysalis for no reason, and is now being lectured as to how properly consider all the reasons and personal background a mugger has for leaving you in a pool of your own blood on the sideway while running away with your wallet, and to feel thankful that he - in his infinite kindness - decided to leave you alive.
I liked the story as a whole, but I can't help but feel the epilogue was... off. They came to a conclusion I can see happening, but the delivery fell flat. Right answer, wrong reason.
Honestly, I'm having a tough time reading through chapter 12 because none of this bullshit makes sense for a character like Chrysalis. Yeah, she's a bit of an airhead, but she's a powerful, cruel, and spiteful creature who is bent on destroying the ponies, and that's from reading her story in the comic book series. A girl like this would need a fuck of a lot to be redeemed for or be killed off outright in order to keep people safe. Celestia doing all this is just outright cruel and degrading to someone already defeated and laid low by forcing a curse upon her like this. It would have been better if she turned into a slightly bubbly version of GlaDOS than this weak bug and try to get some real revenge than turning her into this... THING. I've seen better stories written about her that are more true to her character.
Look, here's your story in a nutshell.
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw97_large.jpg
"I have destroyed your society, taken away your powers, stripped you of your identity, forced you into subservience to me, tricked you into a relationship with a creature you despised, and broke your spirit into being a weak tender mare who will raise her tail to birth more servants for my empire. Serve and Obey." ~Celestia
NO ONE WOULD STAND FOR THAT SHIT!!!
2626883
And you are right about the assessment of Chrysalis attitude in it. By no means it is right. But the challenge for me was to keep Chrysalis as Chrysalis. I did not want her to change, nor be some lovey dovey character in the end wanting to please everyone. I wanted her to keep her the same personality. As Mortar said, Chrysalis is bitchy, haughty, and arrogant at times. She is very proud of herself even now.
And it could be self deception she's doing it herself. She was punished severely in her own right, to loose both magic wings. And I think that carries over to this conversation. Chrysalis feels she was punished enough (right or wrong, this is how she feels, not what actual is), and to sink lower (in her eyes)and apologize to the mare that royally fucked up her plans is too much for her. She has swallowed enough pride, and this may be a line for her.
And how I wanted to show Twilight, yes she was quite, but in the end I think she handled it well by not adding fuel to the fire. To not make it worse. Twilight does not forgive Chrysalis, and by no means like her. But as Chrysalis mentioned, Celestia already made a judgment (and since Celestia said something, Twilight is going to agree with her) and just drop the subject and move on. As she learned, Chrysalis lost her wings, magic, and her changelings. I think she just wanted to back out and leave before someone regrets something. And I dont think I conveyed that well, so I removed some words to make that more clear.
And still think Twilight wants a real apology from Chrysalis, but as says about Pinkie, Pinkie Pie is going to be Pinkie Pie, and you can't change that. And I think Twilight came to the same conclusion with Chrysalis, she is still herself and she will never get the apology from her. So what I wanted from Twilight is that she going to move on. She is not going to get that apology, but Chrysalis isnt planning on some revenge or world domination. In the end I think Twilight is being a bigger mare by letting it go.
Does that help?
2626977
You are entitled to your opinion as that is your right. But I wrote this story almost a year ago before the comics were made. So what information I had was extremely limited to the season 2 finale. So whatever characterization came from the comics I simply could not use, as I already wrote it.
As for Celestia actions, I have explained in comments that I wanted to make it a grey decisions. Celestia was acting on what she thought was right, such as mercy on what she perceives as mercy. It was more of Machiavellian decisions to make sure that changelings can never attack Equestria, or any other nation again. Celestia offered a peaceful surrender, and it was refused. So Celestia did what she did.
The point of Celestia actions was to teach why exactly Chrysalis actions were wrong, and the only way to do that in a way that did not threaten the lives of the rest of subjects was to remove her of powers. As I put it, changelings came from ponies, all Celestia did was to remove the magic that changed them in the first place, leaving what is behind. If Chrysalis found it too much, she could have ended it, but she didn't. Maybe she was afraid of dying, or maybe she wanted revenge.
Lastly, Celestia never forced Chrysalis to like anypony, let alone chose a lover. That was Chrysalis own choosing. I put a Dark tag for a reason, that it would explore darker themes.
As I said, you are entitled to your opinions.
2627082
As much as I would like to agree with you, the scenario feels contrived and the details get lost after months of not reading a story in so long. The reasons you give don't feel like they have impact and the other ponies feel like they're more manipulative than Chrysalis, especially Mortar who almost uses her because he likes her type of personality.
Is there going to be a sequel to this???? i really loved it, actually, i read it on one go hahaha well, if you dont do a sequel im very gratefull of you for giving me the best romance fic that i have ever read, and im sorry for my english (im just learning to write!
) Thanks alot, love ya and peace 
2627546
I really do understand what people are saying about Chrysalis and what she rather. But I think, if put in a situation like that, how scary is death at that point? Celestia is thinking, "You are so young, you can live a meaning full life still, why throw it away?"
2626993
Getting some sleep helped.
2627658
???
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Well I hoped I clarify some things.
2628051
Hey there, thanks for the reply and the continued support through out the entire thing. It does mean a lot to me.
So for an ending, let me give an analogy using some anime (though not directly referring to anime but to illustrate a point). Dragon Ball, when I was younger, was awesome. Maybe it was the up front action or showing me to something different. But as time went on, and the show made more episodes it became stale. There was never a conclusion. Others do the same thing, Bleach, One Piece, etc. And that has turned me away from those (among other things.)
While others, such as Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Cowboy Bebop have definitive conclusive ends. They were able to provide the marvelous climax that makes it remarkable. It ended on such a high note. If it continued, everyone would expect the same feeling they got from the ending, but it would just never be the same. If they dragged it out, it would become more stale over time.
Let me give one more analogy. I am a sports fan (HUGE Lakers fan, yeah Ill prob get flak from every other location outside LA). One of the things fans wonder is when a star athlete retires. Some watch their favorite athlete continue playing well passed their prime, and you can see the clear decline in them. Others retire before they hit the decline (MJ, Kobe probably going to do the same, etc). They wanted to be remebered for their greatness, not their decline in later years.
So for me, I do want to hit the decline with this story. I already had the big climax. I don't want to fall in that "series" trap where you make so many episodes or chapters, that it becomes dull. So I want this story to end on a good note. This epilogue is just the "bonus material" on a DVD or something. In addition, I feel that I wrote all that I could with Silver. In this epilogue, we see that she is going to remain herself, even in front of Twilight. So if we know her personality, then I can't put any more growth in her. She has already grown. We know how she is going to be for the rest of life.
I know how you feel in wanting more, but maybe that makes a story good if it gets people to want "more". I mean I want Kobe Bryant to play basketball for the Lakers forever, but I know that is not possible. I guess what I am saying that I feel all good stories come to an end. And I dont want to hit the "decline" period so to speak. I dont want to drag this story out.
With that being said, I am working on another changeling story. There will be some similar elements, but it will also be very different. I hope that fill that need so to speak.
But thanks for the support and all the fish,
Foxy Kimchi
2629449
Working on another changeling story btw
The sandwich picture is just adorable. xD
2634668
Well if you another changeling story I am working on it right now. I should be posting an update in like 30 minutes.
Just finished the story, thank you very much for it !
A quick question: Will there be a sequel!?!?
2659030
Yep, he was gathering legends, myth, oral tradition, and anything else he could find to come up with his theory on changelings and how they came to be.
2659030>>2659068
That actually makes sense. It didn't cross my mind that narrator was not perfectly reliable.
This is, in my opinion, one of the best stories I have ever come across on this site. When I first chanced upon this tale, the title led me to believe that it might have been an insight into the final thoughts of a villain whose inevitable execution was fast approaching.
When I learnt of the story's true plot, I was surprised, and then very glad that my initial assumption was incorrect, because this plot was much more fascinating and well-written.
In fact, this story was so good, it actually inspired me to have a go at writing my own here on FIMFiction. I have never written a fanfic before, and so I have MUCH to learn and experience, but even so it won't stop me from having a try.
Speaking as a newcomer to the art of storytelling, I was wondering how you came up with the plot for your story? Like, what inspired you to write this fanfic? What materials did you, or have you, read that helped you to formulate the plot?
I hope you will respond to this comment, because I would like to try and learn from great writers such as yourself.
2626977
I wouldn't say Chyrsalis was bent on destroying the ponies, considering they were the only food source for her and the Changelings, but treating them like they were nothing more than a source of food would be damaging enough.
2805080
Why thanks for the compliment!
So how I came up with the story. Well, during my junior year in college, I took a music class to fulfill one of my gen eds. We went over the Romantic era of music, and talked about Hector Berlioz and his piece Symphonie Fantastique. At first I really liked it because of the brass section and the music. I also learned that is a programed piece, meaning that every part of the overall piece has a story associated with it to compose a tale.
In his piece, the story tells of a gifted artist who is in love with a women. However said women does not show interest in him. So said artist takes opium and has dream. (I believe that this was a parrael to Hector himself, as he did eye someone from afar who did not show interest in him. So could be tale about him, I can't remember for sure.) The fourth movement is called "March to the Scaffold."
So when said "artist" takes a large dose of opium, it gave him an induced dream/nightmare. In it, he dreamt that he killed his beloved, was caught, and sentenced to death. He witness himself being lead to the scaffold, and watches his own execution.
Afterwards, he watches his own funeral. However, a bunch of witches and monster gather at his funeral and basically have a huge party/orgy. There he sees his beloved take part in it.
So that is the story about the music piece. It provided a foundation for this. So I thought, what if Chrysalis was led to her execution. It would be a time to reflect and ponder about her life.
From there I fleshed it out to what it is. A story about a young changeling, one that has fears like everyone else, put into a situation in which she finds hopeless. It was a story about growth. I wanted to show Chrysalis why she was wrong in her actions. That is what Celestia was trying to do. By having a relationship, she can than see what she did was wrong. And that was the general premise of my story and how it came to be.
I went through different versions and takes, and eventually it came to this. This was my real first attempt at a fic, one where I really tried.
Well I hope that explains something. I am also thinking of working on another changeling fic, should be up. If you anymore question feel free to send me a message.
Foxy Kimchi
My Gmail just informed me of your response, which I read with much enthusiasm and interst. You have motivated me to work on my story again. It won't be as great as yours, but then a good story is a story that has had effort put into it, yes?
Thañk you for responding. When Chapter Two of my story is finished, you are getting mentioned. Whether you like it or not.
Oh, and please do try short story about Silver Skip and Mortar having foals. I may be a guy, but I enjoy a good read. And I think you are probably the only writer that can pull off a great story like that.
Be unique and stay unique!
2808245
Great writer? I dont I would call myself that. I still have a ton of issues, and my editors help me a lot. Well good luck with your story, I hope it does well.
I hope it goes well, too. Cheers
Hey, does anybody here know any good war/revenge stories I could look at here on FIMFiction? I'm writing a story and I'm stuck on my second chapter. I just need something to give me an idea or two to help me along. That, or is there anyone who is willing to work with me to help write my story?
on an unrelated note, I'm writing my story on my Xbox 360. Gotta love the Internet Explorer app. LOL
Well, you writing is good, i applaud that but you unfortunately lost me when you turned this into Chrysalis redemption fic of worst kind..(Just stopped reading and looked at end plus some randopm couple chapters) I like Chrysalis because she is proud (arrogant), ambitious, cunning and spiteful. While you may say you tried to keep Chrysalis as Chrysalis, in the end, i can't say you succeeded. Turning her into a PONY aside, having her abandon her hive at the end was really another killing point for me. You just turned Chrysalis into another of Celestia's little ponies, compeletly. Congrats.
Your effort and skills are great don't get me wrong, only reason you lost me is because of plot. It's just, i found what happened to Chrysalis really degrading, and it would have been a good plot point if Chrysalis didn't give up and choose to romance some random earth pony. Seriously....
2917080
Well thanks for the honest and respectful reply. As I said before, to Celestia this was her only work around. Celestia felt that Chrysalis invasion, although bad, was not out of malice and felt that there was some good in Chrysalis. Celestia felt that if Chrysalis could experience real friendship first hand, she could see what she did was wrong. However, Chrysalis being a changeling was, and would always remain a serious threat no matter how she acted. Her being a changeling was a danger to everyone around her as she drained their energy from emotions. So in Celestia's eyes, she felt that her actions was the best work around. She didn't change Chrysalis in a pony exactly, how I set up was that Chrysalis is a pony original, but being a changeling was like wearing some dark armor gotten through dark magic. So Celestia simply removed it. Celestia thinks she is right, so to herself her actions are justified. Dose'nt matter if she wasn't, she is the one holding all the cards and she is in power. It is still a form of punishment on Chrysalis for her actions, she is not getting off scotch free.
As for Chrysalis, she never abandoned her hive. Her hive is dead due to the Canterlot Invasion and the follow up from Equestria. Chrysalis was not going to surrender, and would rather die with her hive. However, again Celestia had a different idea about that. She wanted to know why Chyrsalis did what she did.
Lastly, Chrysalis learned how important a relationship was. She had a choice of getting her powers back, but it would be the cost of her friend and lover. She decided that having a fulfilling relationship, not power and status, is much more important. She gave up her powers because she felt that this was the right path to happiness. She didn't give up, she was willing to sacrifice everything for that, her powers, and even her pride. The fact she was willing to do that shows strength, not weakness in my mind.
Even as a pony, she still retains her personality. She is haughty, arrogant, and a bitch to those she does not like. She is a flawed character, and she is not what she sees herself as in the beginning.
Well I hope that explains my point of view, thanks for trying the story.
Foxy Kimchi
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Well, i should thank you for taking time to reply to me. I understand you better after this explanation, and indeed can see your point. Problem is, i think, i want to see a different Chrysalis then your potrayal of her. While you were right on getting arrogance part right, Chrysalis i want to see would take the chance to regain her power. Why.. Well, please bear with me if you can, else there is a TL, DR version at end.
You see, none of us can talk for sure about reasons and motives of Chrysalis because we only had one episode about her, and no i am not taking comics into account. We only know, her demanour, we know she is arrogant, ambitious, spitefull etc. But we can't say for sure if she really values her hive, or if she sees them as tool to get what she wants. This where fans come in as each fan try to depict Chrysalis as they like.
For me, i like to think Chrysalis values her hive and her changelings, while revenge is important, feeding her subject and children is more important to her. For all her faults, being an uncaring mother and ruler isn't one of these faults, and the good inside the Chrysalis, i believe comes from her determination to see her children fed. You see, feeding on love, peacefully, is hard when all other races see you as a monster. And what we see from the shows, ponies are xenophobic to foreign races, Zecora being a prime example for it. İt would be hard to believe that griphons would be better on that accord considering ponies are supposed to be most friendly and harmonious of all races. So what i am saying is, given the size of of changeling hive, i believe they face constant starvation. I think this is the major reason why Chrysalis hate ponies. To see them leaving in peace and luxury while her own children starved would make spitefull and vengefull. So in actuality, attack on Canterlot was the perfect solution for Chrysalis. She would be able to feed all of her children and give them better lives, while she would also be able to take her revenge on ponies, not to forget that she would also succeded her dream of gaining power, a dream she since she was a child. An innocent dream, considering it was more about living in a fancy castle while having everyone else bow down to her will and spoil her.
But again, this is not canon but my interparation of Chrysalis.
So problem i see your in Chrysalis, is she is able to be happy at the end while her changelings are either dead, or alone, missing the bond they always shared with their queen. More so because she is obeying Celestia and actually feeling something for a pony, while she has now very good reasons to hate them as in her eyes, they are the reasons her children are dead.
This becomes more heartbreaking if we look at the fact that changelings also suffer from same thing with Discord. Being non-evil villians and actually having a no-killing rule. Especially considering Changelings modus operandi of taking everyone prisoners.
While i can go on and on, it would be absolutely boring and i don't want to torture you.
TL, DR = Basically how i see Chrysalis is different than yours, neverthless a great writing and solid effort. Keep up the good work.
2922067
Hey there, thanks for the reply.
Well I made it different with Chrysalis and her changelings. She does care for them, but they changelings themselves have a hive mentality. They dont get the concept of "I", and only know to serve the queen. Thats how they were made in the first place. They are like loyal beast in a way. So Chrysalis never really had a real relationship from them. She tried to get to act like individuals, hence one of the motives of attacking Canterlot. She felt that if she can get love, maybe they can awaken so to speak. But it did not work. But she still cares for them.
But all the changelings are gone, they no longer exist anymore. Partly because Chrysalis herself ordered a last stand rather than take a peaceful surrender, so kinda her fault on that. But she does miss them, but they are gone. No matter how she feels or what she does it wont bring them back. She moved on so to speak, yes she misses them but she moved on. She says that now they dont have to follow her or anyone else anymore, now they can rest. She stills have a heavy heart for them, since they were an intergral part of her life.
Hope that helps somewhat.
2924456
It does. It also explains why i couldn't enjoy the plot. It's not only Chrysalis but depiction of whole changelings. Anyway. Thnaks for answering me. See you around.
Thank you for this fan-fiction, I loved every word (even though I watched a reading on youtube) you are one of the very few people that inspire me, and in my opinion, you are just as good as the pen-god, Pen Stroke, and that is a lot to say, thanks again, love to see more from you, type-god /)
-Lightning
3015873
Why thanks for the comment! Good as Pen Stroke, come on now let us not get ahead of ourselves lol.
3015993
no, I do not lie, and my Lap-Top is working (poorly) now, so now I can upload fan-fiction, but really you are
-Lightning
Hey, there is a picture called 'meeting Twilight,' what's that about?
-Lightning
3021170
Epilogue
3021333oh
3021333oh
If the dialogue in the epilogue is any indicator, you owe Illya Leonov a big thank you. I could not have made it through reading a story with characters that sounded like that.
I gained some enjoyment from the early chapters, but ultimately I think this falls flat. The relationship doesn't have a strong enough basis to redeem Chrysalis all by itself. (You really should have let Mortar die.) Chapters 13 and 14 might as well have not happened at all, since Mortar had to be told who Silver Skip was. Shining Armor just gives up and is never heard from again. You enact genocide upon the entire changeling race and don't even give them a send-off.
You write a good Celestia and your backstory for the changelings was interesting (and I laughed quite a bit at the ending of chapter 15), but ultimately I was disappointed by this story.