A light fog shrouded Canterlot in the early morning as the moon moved closer to the horizon, ready to switch its place with the sun. Standing on one of the many towers that dotted the city, Chrysalis gazed into the horizon and the land below her.
This is it, Chrysalis thought. It starts today. I will leave this accursed city and burn it to ashes.
Chrysalis knew that over the past month her life had become very routine. She was confident that she could evade the city’s guards if she left before dawn. However she berated herself for letting herself get comfortable in her new environment. How could she have become so soft?
And if I must, she continued, shivering a little at the thought, I will kill anything that stands in my way.
Taking a deep breath, she took her first step, the turning point of her new life.
Mortar Brick was sitting in his bosun's chair, busy patching a hole on one of Canterlot's old towers, a remnant of the bygone days when Canterlot served as a fortress. It was now left open as a tourist attraction so that non-pegasi could get a bird’s eye view of the royal city.
Nothing could ruin Mortar’s mood that day. Last night was the best night he’d ever had—he knew he had accomplished his goal of impressing Silver. That genuine smile on her face was proof of his success. She was never the expressive type, but he had finally seen her truly happy. He could not wait until their daily get-together.
I wonder if I have a chance with her. Oh Celestia, that would be great to finally have a fillyfriend—hopefully maybe even more. A family and foals—that sounds nice, Mortar thought, sliding a brick into place.
Grinning from ear to ear, he began to whistle the waltz from last night.
Chrysalis was about to enter the stairwell when her ear twitched. A light melody filled the early morning air.
That song, she thought. It is from last night.
She turned and walked around, trying to find the source of the music. She could not find anypony, yet the music remained. In the corner of her eye she noticed some ropes that were tied to the edge of the tower. After walking slowly towards it, she carefully peered over the edge. Her eyes widened upon seeing Mortar Brick.
It was him! Chrysalis thought, her face tightening in anger. He was the one that made me soft. He was the one that interrupted my plans. He has been in my way from the very beginning. Before he threw himself at me, I was on the right path towards sweet and triumphant vengeance. I effortlessly landed a job in one of the most selective restaurants in the city. When I flaunted my powers, a prince cowered before me. But when I was at my weakest, he struck swiftly.
By his malicious words I became enfeebled by the malicious disease of complacence, enslaving myself to these peasants. Slowly their way became mine. The trap of oblivion had ensnared me. Ultimately, I would have been kneeling before the very adversary I once fought against had it not been for fate. Yet, though I have regained my soul, he has robbed me of something that I cannot reclaim. I have wasted so many days in this sinkhole, all because of him. I hate him now with a burning passion that puts the cold flames of Celestia’s sun to shame.
“You...” Chrysalis hissed as she stared down at Mortar.
Mortar’s ears perked when he heard a familiar voice. Looking up, he saw Chrysalis staring down at him.
“Silver!” Mortar exclaimed with glee as he waved a hoof at her. However, upon closer inspection he could see that she was not sharing the same feeling. His ears flattened and his smile vanished. She was glaring at him with anger.
“S—Silver, is something wrong?” he asked meekly. He had never seen Chrysalis this angry before.
“You filthy peasant! This is all your fault. You are the one that ruined my plans! Pray that I never see your face again!” Chrysalis shouted with a look of disgust on her face, quickly turning her head away as she made her way out of his view. Stupid fool! How dare he make me weak.
His tools fell out of his hooves. What did I do wrong? Mortar thought frantically. Was this because of last night? Oh no, did she think I was trying to take advantage of her? Did I insult her? Was I too forward?
As Chrysalis walked out of view, he could see his happy future disappear. The mare of his dreams was quickly falling out of his hooves—the image of a happy life was replaced by loneliness and a sense of urgency.
No! he thought. I have to fix this! I know I can if I can just talk to her. Hurry, Mortar, before she leaves your life for good!
“S—Silver!” Mortar shouted desperately as he fumbled with his hooves on his rigging, trying to get up as quickly as possible. “Wait! Let’s talk! I will be right there; just give me a sec—”
In his haste, Mortar accidentally leaned too far back, causing the bosun’s chair to tilt backwards, and he fell out of his harness. He desperately tried to grab onto the chair with a hoof, but it was just out of reach. His eyes widened, filled with terror, and his life flashed before him.
A scream of primal fear echoed loudly in the air.
Chrysalis’ ears flicked in response to the sudden yell behind her. Quickly turning around, she looked over the edge of the tower to see Mortar falling out of his bosun’s chair. Her eyes widened and her pupils shrank as she saw the terror in Mortar’s face as he desperately reached a hoof out in the air. Without thinking, she tried to reach a hoof out to him.
As he fell, images and memories from the previous month flashed before her eyes—the day they met, their usual get-togethers, and finally the dance from last night. She turned deathly pale.
No, she thought, this is not supposed to happen. Grab something, you fool! Just stop. Stop! STOP!
Mortar’s mane blew wildly in his face, and the wind howled in his ears. Time moved slowly. He was scared. It was not fair; he was only so young. He had met the mare of his dreams, and now he was literally falling away from her.
As he looked up one last time, he saw Chrysalis holding out her hoof, her eyes filled with horror. Tears began to fill his eyes as the images of the times with her flooded his memory, especially the dance from last night.
“Is it too much to ask,” Mortar softly cried to himself as he fell, “for one more night like that with her?”
Moments later, a sickening thud echoed in the early morning air, followed by a loud scream.
Chapter 8. This is an interesting chapter because when I first set out writing this story, I had this image in my head the entire time. Look I am not an anime fan, but Cowboy Bebop is a great show regardless. The music, the story, and the action. It has it all. One of my favorite scenes of all times is from the episode 5: Ballad of the Fallen Angels. In addition, it had one of my favorite song from the series, Greenbird. If you ever watched the series then you know where in the episode that I got my inspiration. To those who do not know what I am talking about, here is a clip from said episode. The song Greenbird and the scene I was talking about begins at 4:20. I wanted to try to mimic the feeling I felt when I first saw this episode.
On another note, it is going to take my a while to right the next chapter. The reason is that even I do not know how the story will end. When I first set out I had a clear picture of what I wanted. But as I wrote this story, my feelings began to change for many reasons. So at this point no one knows how it will end.
I would enjoy seeing your comments for this chapter and your thoughts on how you think it should end. Could it be that your thoughts may influence the ending, or I am just trying to get more comments so I can get this featured again?
Either way, enjoy space cowboy.
8? Not VIII?
1118897
Son of a...
Fixed
Well, that sucks. Did he bounce?
He never asked for this.
Idk how it should end, but please please please have mortar brick survive and Chrysalis realize that she loves him. please??? :)
1119296 I highly doubt the former. There is hope for the latter, however, as she is indirectly responsible for his fall.
On another note, I just KNOW Chrysalis is going to get blamed for this.
Huh, I was expecting her to deliberately kill him.
As was expected, though still unfortunate, Chrysalis has fallen to Celestia's plan.
Were she truly untouched, she'd have felt nothing as he fell or felt differently as to why him falling was bad.
Predicting guilt and remorse followed by another argument-with-self, this time in favor of pony.
Nooooo!
.....Ouch! That's got to royally suck.
On the one hand Celestia's plan is having the desired effect on Chrysalis on the other hand I'm pretty sure something like this was never apart of the plan. Not at all.
You choose a nice piece to base a story off of. Cowboy Bebop had plenty of moments were the music just owned the scene.
Also you got featured!
1118997
What? I am not sure, even I have not figured out the ending XD.
1119048
No he did not.
1119296
1119674
1119687
Your tears feed me...
But no it is sad. When I picture it with that song it just makes it even that much sadder.
1119411
We will see.
1119467
Interesting thought.
1119606
And that is why I need to put a lot of thought into the ending.
1119924
Ouch indeed.
And yeah that is why Cowboy Bebop is great. It is cool that I got featured for like 10 min XD.
1120083
She is kept withing Canterlot as house arrest. Also she has no more minions, they are all gone.
Did not expect that. You have made things VERY interesting in a very short chapter.
1120175
Why thank you! Even though I am not the artistic type, I really do enjoy good music. It is funny how a song I heard in a classroom one day lead to this. I just wanted to make a story that was unique and different.
1120247
Was wondering where you went. I am glad to hear that though!
1120267
Sorry, I've been juggling a couple of my own projects, trying to start an audio recording of Flight of the Alicorn, and hunt for a job and a new place to live. It's been a bit hectic, and I've only just caught up on my reading. Hopefully I'll be able to offer a more in-depth analysis after things settle down.
You have some issues with italics that need to be fixed.
- "It was him! Chrysalis thought... Obviously she's not narrating her own thoughts -- shouldn't be italicized.
- "What did I do wrong? Mortar thought..." The question needs to be italicized.
- "No! he thought. I have to..." The rest of the paragraph after "he thought" also needs to be italicized.
As for story direction, I am not so sure that Chrysalis will have another talk with herself -- I am not so sure that her reflection was only that. Why else would you tell us it was gloating? But I do think she may reevaluate her plans to burn the city to the ground when she feels so keenly the loss of a single citizen. She might go bitch at Celestia about how the princess has clearly tampered with her mind somehow, though. Clearly that is the only possible reason for her to be weeping for some peon.
1120303
Yeah I know that feeling. Been doing that all summer. DAM YOU RESPONSIBILITIES!!
1120359
*reads it* DAM YOU GOOGLE FORMAT TO FiMFiction FORMAT! Y U MAKE NO SENSE?!
*fixes it*
Also I am not sure if I read your second half correctly, gloating? *(it is late).
1120451 "Screaming, she began to wreck the apartment that she had once maintained. The image of Chrysalis remained in the mirror, grinning wickedly, eyes filled with bloodlust."
Maybe Chrysalis is just weird like that, but I didn't think it's crazy for me to suspect she was being influenced by a separate entity based on the fact that her "reflection" was gloating (or so it seemed to me) about Chrysalis being successfully worked into a state of rage and renewed rebellion. On the other hand, you do mention in the narration that her mind "snapped" right before her reflection came to life, so that kind of undermines that whole theory. Oh well.
More italics:
- "Chrysalis thought, her face tightening in anger" Deitalicize the rest of the narration too ...
And one I forgot to mention:
- "No, she thought, this" Deitalicize "she thought".
So, this is absolutely delicious. I came for you painting Chrysalis as something other then a monster, and stayed for the awesome story. I'm watching this like a hawk.
1120559
Ok really I promise you that it was correct in gDocs, switching formats is a pain. You have to use the [-i-] format. Sorry bout that.
And as I said for the ending, I am working on it. The possibilities are endless
1120587
Thank you! Chrysalis is not a one dimensional character, so I tried very hard not to make her one. I am glad to know that I did it!
1120669 Ha, you don't have to apologize, of course. I just figure you want it to be correct and how is that going to happen if no one tells you about it?
1120688
Yeah lol. Thanks for the corrections, glad you caught those.
I expected something larger of a chapter... YOU BETRAYED US! You betrayed the way of the Sith. Moar, we want moar!
Celestia: I will crush any threat to my ponies.
Ol' Chrysalis will be shitting herself when Celestia hears of this.
________________________________
the mirror Chrysalis was interesting, makes me wonder 2 things: 1) if bodies of these Queens are time share, since she remained in the mirror while Silver was throwning a 8 year old's tamper tantrum. 2) it was prank from princesses( Most likely Luna) that back fired and caused the death of an innocent.
1121850
She's lost pretty much everything. I don't think she'll care about her own death now.
NoooooOooOoooo!
1121064
Writing is hard! IT IS!
(well that is true but this chapter actually was planned to be short and straight to the point)
1121850
Well I would too. Boy she must be scary as **** when angry. Even worse for Chrysalis when she is now powerless, and much shorter too. Having Celestia glaring down at you...*shudders*
1121966
I may have been inspired from Kratos in God of War...
1122901
Your tears are delicious...
As a cartoon pony, obviously he only goes splat and then bounces back up in pain but ok.
Obviously
1123240
Sadly for Mortar, he aint no Pinkie Pie. He cant break the laws of physics.
Cockamamie. I don't want him to die, but he probably has to if this is going to be 'serious'. And that's going to suck goats.
Honestly, I'd cheer if he survived, even if it was by landing on an orphan or something. Fuck that orphan. We don't know him like we know these characters.
1123531
..................
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XD Oh man that made me laugh. Poor orphan!
PS. I could use more likes
1123593
Screw him. One life for two. I can't take another sad ending involving ponies!
1123705
Even if said orphan was iunno Pipsqueak or something. Like a tiny tim with his british accent looking up at you and saying "Please sir?"
1123740
Then I'd want him dead all the same. It'd be a quick death, couple dozen kilos of pony dropping from lord knows how high. Kid wouldn't know what hit him. We get our happy end and Tiny Trot gets his sweet release.
1121850
Considering Celestia had spies watching Chrysalis before (and that is without considering the mirror thingy) I imagine she will be very aware of exactly what happened.
No! Mortar! How long have you known this was going to happen to him?
1123903
Before? When?
At first, i thought this was going to be an interesting Heel-Face Turn story via Love Equal Redemption for Chrysalis. Then...
*SPLAT!**SHRIEK!*
...yeah. That's when i remembered there was no "Romance" tag on this thing. On a related note, you could probably toss a "Tragedy" tag on this thing, since it's not just a Crapsack World, it's bad stuff happening to Chrysalis because she's such a bitch.
Other than that, can't say I caught grammatical errors, since I tend to read fast. Keep up the good work!
1123767
Man your comments are too funny and witty!
1123903
We will see.
1123910
I can go into a long story about that. If you really want to know send me a PM.
1124100
I think he is referring to the fact Celestia said she would have her under constant watch.
1125181
Yeah I am trying VERY hard to not make this the standard Chrysalis story. It is just that has already been done and I want to offer something unique. Now for the tags, I try to use very few as possible. The reason why I do that is because tags, more often than not in my opinion, give away the story's ending. For example, in a standard shipping story, if there was a romance tag then you know what happens. So I tend to use as few as possible to ensure that I will not give away any spoilers or hints about the ending.
Now, as I said before, the ending is in works. There is many possibilities for the ending so we will see. I am currently mulling over it to ensure that I give the ensure a good story to the best of my abilities.
You are right though, if Chrysalis was not as bitchy and stubborn less bad things would happen. But I also like Chrysalis because she is bitchy and stubborn. She is not boring that is for sure.
1126632
Why thank you! I hope you enjoy the next chapters!
Based on the episode of cowboy bebop, i think mortar brick lives, and i think chyrsalis will be guilt ridden
1127370
Now I said the scene inspired me, the falling out a window, but never said the ending...
She could realize that as a pony she could be happy but in the end if forced happiness on her. She may end up hating Celestia because she made her care and that hurts, so she uses it a as coping mechanism.
As I said before, the whole transforming her into a pony things has unfortunate implications, like, well, mutilating Chrysalis basically, by removing her horn and wings, all so Celestia could prove her point and feel happy with herself.
1130706
That may be true. However Chrysalis committed a serious crime and therefore must pay the price. Celestia did what she had to do. If she had to force Chrysalis as a pony to ensure the saftey if equestria then so be it. A pony sound infinetaly better than being stone. You are right that there is bad side effects, every punishment has them. Will she hate even more, who knows. Does not change the effect that Chrysalis droped the ball here.
I do enjoy these talks
1130937 A simple death sentence would have been better, since this can be either "rehabilitation" or torture, mutilation and brainwashing. I haven't seen anything that suggest Celestia turns others into stone aside from Discord, and she needed the EoH to do that.
1130962
First responding slow since on my phone and ny eyes are dialated and at eye doctor.
You may be right that a death penalty would be more fitting. However, i do not think Celestia will kill. She tries to be too motherly and merciful maybe to a fault.
With that being said Celestia has over 1k years of experience and knowledge. She has been in a position of extreme power, most likely in all of earth, and she will argue that power and titles do not bring happiness. She know it is the relationship she has. So she does have wisdom on her side
By no means she is perfect. She did what she thought was best and she had the power to do so