G1 Twinkle-Eyed Pony fan enjoys writing stories about G4 Twilight and/or Starlight
Twilight Sparkle has been trying to understand what it really means to be a Princess of Magic.
Discontent with the ambiguity of her destiny, she receives an uninvited visit from her elder alicorn peers: Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Princess Cadance.
It seems they have sensed their youngest sister's frustration and uncertainty, hoping to help her finally figure out what's really upsetting her.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Love this story. You did Twilight well
6070779
Thank you! I like to think I can relate to Twilight a bit, so she feels easy for me to write.
Not bad, but you mixed up the tenses a bit. You should figure out what tense you're going for and stick to it - mixing the present, the perfect (she has done) and the pluperfect (she had done) is a little jarring!
6121323
A friend of mine pointed this out too. It's a bad habit of mine!
I personally don't mind it (otherwise i'd probably not do it either), but if it is unpleasant for a lot of viewers, I should try to fix that.
I've heard its 'bad' to stick with present tense, but its what I usually prefer. Present tense would be ok, right?
6125049
The present tense only really works in super-artsy atmospheric pieces, or if the story is being told from an entirely first-person perspective - and even then, it's an oddball decision. Most people use the perfect tense, as telling an entire story in the pluperfect is even odder!
To give you some perspective, I have read an awful lot of stories, and I'm legitimately struggling to think of one not written in the perfect tense (except for Cormac Mccarthy's The Road, which I don't think counts - that book was weird, it didn't even use punctuation.)
Can you think of any others? I'm sure I must have read some - from the first-person perspective at least, and now it's gonna bother me until I think of one.
6126398
No, I can't think of anything particular.
I will be sure to go over this story once more, before I post my next story.
Going over this now, I feel like I see why I don't do past tense much.
Something about adding '-ed' to so many words annoys me...
*edit*
Okay, it's done, and I corrected and improved some scenes and dialogue too.
It's definitely the final draft now.
That's a great story! this fandom never cease to amze me with the quality of it's artists. And I'm not even english, so I must thank you twice!
Once for putting together a really good story,
and two for helping me improve and practice my english!
I love your description of twilight as a Warrior wizard, not enough fanfic represent the fact that she has fought major powers intent on killing her, on a fairly regular basis.
11500776
Which is why I don't like those stories alot, Twilight isn't selfish, much of the opposite actually, in such a scenario Twilight would probably sacrifice herself for her friends, let alone Equestria. Not a lot of stories points out all the things Twilight has done to save Equestria.
In this story I can't really blame Twilight for being angry at Celestia, Cadance, or Luna, especially Celestia, there's even this theory that Twilight's entire life has been setup by Celestia since the day she earned her cutie mark all the way up until Twilight became the only ruler of Equestria. Twilight never really had a choice once in her life when it came to Celestia.