Friends From Another World

A Fresher Perspective

A Fresher Perspective #1 · Jun 10th, 2015 · 1 · 5 · Story One ·

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I don't see how sonata can be friends with them but
JOLLY GOOD SHOW

dbzponyninja

dbzponyninja #2 · Jun 10th, 2015 · · · Story Two ·

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6078516 She's friends with them because she, Adagio and Aria are all reformed in this story.

nathan17

nathan17 #3 · Jun 11th, 2015 · 1 · 8 · Story One ·

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THAT WAS THE BEST STORY I'VE READ SO FAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

moviemaster8510

moviemaster8510 #4 · Jun 11th, 2015 · 2 · · Story One ·

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One day I was home alone, my parents and my brother were all at work but then something that I never thought that would happen happened.
I heard the doorbell ring so I paused the video game that I was playing and went downstairs.
I opened the door and was surprised to see Rarity, Sonata Dusk and Sunset Shimmer at my door I asked while trying really hard not to stutter or hold back my excitement "You're real?"

All this in three sentences.

thechicken95

thechicken95 #5 · Jun 11th, 2015 · 2 · 1 · Story One ·

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I'm having a hard time believing that this is a real fic. It's just that bad.

staryoshi06

staryoshi06 #6 · Jun 11th, 2015 · · · Story Two ·

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I don't even know anymore.

BikerPon3

BikerPon3 #7 · Jun 11th, 2015 · 5 · · Story One ·

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So me and Sonata Dusk played Super Smash Bros for Wii U and Mario Kart 8 and then after that Sunset Shimmer called me, Rarity and Sonata Dusk downstairs for lunch, then after that I showed Rarity my Rarity (pony version) plushie

So you...um...you're trying to impress them with video games and plushies?

Man, they must be wet.

Fallen Prime

Fallen Prime #8 · Jun 11th, 2015 · 2 · · Story Two ·

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6080766 Okay, FIRST of all, I think Rarity would be creeped out by the guy owning a plush toy of a pony that looked like her.

Second of all, this would be a million times more engaging if all of that - ALL of that - were expanded and described more. Seriously, that one sentence just hand-waves events that ought to at least take up two chapters. SHOW the OC and Sonata playing games and having fun. SHOW the OC and the girls having lunch together. This is EXACTLY the point of "show, don't tell." Judging from the other excerpts quoted in the comments, this pacing is clearly a universal issue within the story, and judging from the lack of punctuation in the excerpt in the comment I'm quoting, there's probably even MORE to this sentence that ought to be its own scene.

Third of all, none of what I said is going to make a difference because this author doesn't understand how to read feedback and better his work. I may as well be talking to a brick wall with an ass that doesn't talk to any commenters until they kiss its ass.

...I will not apologize for that mental image.

Fundalo