What if the confrontation between Sunset and the Dazzlings in the hallway went a little differently? A "What if" scenario, with Sunset Shimmer puts her darker side to good use.
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- Member Since 4th May, 2015
- offline last seen Jan 1st, 2016
Doritato
Drop on by. Take a load off. Ease all of those troubles you got, traveler. You're safe here.
Doritato
Joined 4th May, 2015 ·
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Something more than a flat "I Am The VIllain And Therefore Meant To Fail" character might have been nice. Immediately getting angry when a past failure is pointed out, getting rattled so easily despite being calm and collected the rest of the time, and that she just generally loses to Sunset so easily here carries the ring of wanting Sunset to look cool, as a lot of stories about her do. You even do the thing where the "Good Guy" resorts to violence (after goading someone into it, natch) and completely gets away with it unscathed. Then again, it does say she's using her 'darker side' (Re: being a bully, for at least understandable reasons here). I don't get the impression she learned nothing from EQG1, which is good, but there's probably a good reason she acted nothing like this in the movie.
Also; why do Aria and Sonata stand there and do nothing? Barely a word out of either of them and neither make a move after Sunset commits Heroic Assault, not even on the basis that if things have gotten violent, they could most likely get away with beating her to a pulp together? (And that's not even factoring in that they could just sing any authorities into taking their side) Or are we to assume they're both complete cowards, as would be more convenient for the sake of the story?
Overall, nothing great here. I can certainly appreciate wondering why Sunset didn't at least fight back a little more in canon, but I guess she didn't want to fall back on being equally or more loathesome than the antagonists. I'm trying to picture Sunset's friends watching this and not seeing a problem. Then again (again!), in fics like this? They'd probably cheer for her, join in, and all go out for pizza after, another victory for our 'heroes.'
If you're wondering? Yes, I am a fan of the Dazzlings, but I'm REALLY not a fan of stories that give this kind of vibe.
6351492
Understandable.
I didn't have Aria and Sonata do much because - at least, in this particular story - the Dazzlings really aren't that close-knit. Adagio leads through fear, at least to an extent - something shown when Aria makes the quip about following her lead instead of Adagio's. Although it keeps them quiet, it doesn't give them a reason to regard her positively. They'll do whatever she says, but they're not going to jump to protect her, never mind pride on Adagio's part. Aria generally does not like Adagio, and Sonata wouldn't jump in on her own because the two tend to talk down to her too much. Though, maybe you do have a point. I should've had them a little bit more active...
Regarding the whole "Adagio loses her cool" thing, it was more or less an attempt to portray Adagio as a sociopath. Narcissistic, charming, has low impulse control and cares nothing for the people around her... I'd say it's one interpretation to go by. Of course, even as I read this over, I'm getting the impression that I didn't do too well in that regard. It's probably for the best; the mind of a sociopath is something I can't really relate to, and I sure don't plan on trying.
Have a Fave and a Like.
Why? Because Sunset hitting Adagio.
And also the excellent description of the scene.
6351561 You liked that one, huh? Glad someone did.
6351566
Well, I liked it since Sunset started calling Adagio's bullshit.
Although I'd like to read a bit more about this, I think this story as a stand alone is pretty great. I like how Aria sees Sunset with respect for being the second person in their entire lives to draw a line to Adagio so forcefully.
6351555
I can appreciate that.
The mind of a sociopath is a lot like the mind of anyone else; it varies greatly. I guess that might be the scary part, someone with no empathy whatsoever can be the sort to project whatever personality they need at any given time, or they could be the sort that flip out if a mosquito lands near them.
Also, I wasn't thinking in terms of closeness or caring about one another so much as practicality. If an enemy is making a move against your side, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to sit by and let them do it, but if Aria is more the sort to take gratification in seeing the person she's afraid of hurt (not so empathetic herself) and Sonata has too little self-esteem to do anything either, then it sort of makes sense. At least, in the sense that the behavior is understandable, not that it's remotely wise on their part.
No matter what anyone's characterization is, though, I can't help getting an uncomfortable, sickly feeling whenever I see the side I'm apparently supposed to root for being bastards with no indication that they'd ever done anything wrong, (Tanks for the Memories comes to mind, Rainbow facing no consequences whatsoever for her little factory visit) most of all in a show called Friendship is Magic.
Will there be a sequel, did Sunset plan back fire and how bad will the conquences be?
Personally, if it was me, I'd have taken the school fire axe to them, or at least rip the pendent off when punching her.
Anyway, good story man.
6351627 That I have yet to decide on. If you happen to have any ideas for it, feel free to shoot them at me. I'm all ears.
6351593 Oh, yes. I know that feeling far too well. The heroes, acting like complete scumbags and getting off scot-free? Nothing burns me up much more than that... well, outside of a villain getting off scot-free with heinous actions. The first thing that comes to mind is an MLP fic called "Trip of a Lifetime", where the protagonist starts acting like an immature jerk-off to everyone he meets. Even the things that happen to him in retaliation don't really satisfy. I'll make sure to keep this in mind next time.
6351668
I guess it bugs me more when the 'Good Guy' does it because when the villains are being evil, at least it's usually clear-cut that we're not supposed to clap and ask for an encore. Seeing people do that because they're told it's okay when X does it (like a few commenters here...) makes me think of the bad guy winning by way of corruption, by tricking nice, sane people into being no better than they are, all the morals and virtues the heroes supposedly stood for stripped away as they embrace that oh-so-cathartic impulse to just beat up everyone they don't like.
Sorry for all the ranting and any negativity I may have been giving off here, but I figure you'll still get plenty of likes/favorites/etc. for this story. Possibly more than a few from exactly the sort of people I just described, but I've been at this long enough now.
Happy future writing!
I honestly loved the whole concept and execution. Definitely a favorite.
6352237 Glad you did! Thanks a bunch!
Nice story. Have a like and I'm stalk... FOLLOWING that story.
6353071 Yes, "following" is the most accurate word for it.
Uhh... isn't gem should, like, protect them from physical or even most of the magical kind of impact?
I rather like when Sunset shows little cooler than she was in the show, but I don't think that buttersweet sue and good-but-bastard sue have much of difference.
6351561 Uh. Sounds rather rude. I'm not a person who will downvote for an opinion, but hating Adagio that much?
6363750 Oh hey, another of my favorite artists of MLP!
I want to drink your bathwaterFor your first inquiry... well, I never really thought of the amulets serving as much more than conduits for the Sirens' abilities. That's what 90 percent of the Dazzling fanfics I read do. Regarding them as physical amplifiers is something new and truthfully something I'm a bit hesitant on.
And "Sue"? Rest assured that viewpoint is unntentionally brought on. I hope that the following chapters will come to erase it. I myself like Sunset when she's cool, but I detest Sues (unless they're a crucial part in a parody/satire/deconstruction).
6364236
Well if Starswirl had to sent them through portal, I assume they had protection from magic, and probably physical impact too. And at least some of that probably should stay in human world. But, I guess, It also could not.
Of course, you can make this story into whatever you like. I liked it, mostly, except the punch.
And also you made Dazzlings look a lot worse than it shows in most fanfiction (not even about ones that have redemption). It's rather nice for me actually, as reminder that they are not so sweet, since I really don't want to watch RR for the second time.
6364331 Thank you! I'm surprised that someone actually liked my antagonistic portrayal of the Dazzlings here. But I'll take your appreciation quite readily, nonetheless.
6363985 Oh, no, I don't hate Adagio. In fact, she's my second favorite siren.
I just thought that it's unusual for me to read something like that in Teen rated fics.
Interesting premise. Tracking.
I'm glad I found this. While arguably a bit out of character for Sunset at the time, I enjoy stories that show Sunset Shimmer struggling with her old "habits" (I'm even writing a story with that particular premise right now), or in this case, use them for a worthy cause. After all, redemption and reformation is an uphill battle, and sometimes the parts of yourself that you think are your worst qualities can actually be your greatest strength.
As Brad Stine once said:
6443390
What does that have to do with the story?
6502084
It is one thing to offend someone with something on purpose, and another to offend them with the truth (and if you point to Sunset calling Fluttershy pathetic, no. Fluttershy is not pathetic)
He is trying to say that evil isn't always what we think it is
6503342
I'm still not really seeing what that has to do with Sunset getting confrontational with Adagio.
6504048
She is speaking the truth to Adagio, therefore if Adagio gets offended by it, that's her problem. It also shows that Sunset's friends are being a little too politically correct with her.
6504055
Not really the same thing. Sunset is telling the truth, but she's also making a focused effort to make Adagio angry.
Since we don't actually see Sunset's friends at all in this story, I don't see how you say they're "too politically correct" with her. Unless they constantly nitpick her word choices like a bunch of tumblrinas, and since I'm pretty sure there's no concept of race in EQG that seems unlikely.
Best human laying one hell of a verbal smackdown on Best siren/best villain? INSTANT FAV!
Adagio is the worst of the Dazzlings, her character design is hidious and looks like a mountain of pubic hair. Thus her singing is worse than Justin Bieber's god-awful "Baby".
The sass is strong with this one!
I think you're confusing a sociopath with a psychopath
7285791 Sociopath is impulsive violence, while Psychopath is calculating violence
Very nicely done, I enjoyed this, hope you don't mind if I do a voiced reading of this.
Nice to see the Dazzlings get burned in some way. They were honestly my least favorite of the EQG Villains because they felt too competent for their own good.
Oh, that was nice. That was very nice.
You managed to expand on the base characters we saw in EqG:RR, and set them up in a situation that is both realistic enough to believe in, but also fantastical enough to felt oh so satisfying.
It's always wonderful whenever an author writes into action Sunset's darker and more manipulative past, and you did it wonderfully here. Excellent job.
Sunset and Aria were my favorites here.
The former really shows how good she can be at mind games. While her mockery might not be typically heroic under normal circumstances, she's only acting against evil psycho jerks who were pretty much asking for such verbal beatdown.
The later, while sadly still not proactive, shows some "Starscreamish" behavior that I love in villains. She clearly hates her boss and if were for her, she would rather follow her desires rather than keep going with somebody else's will.
Sunset will beat that ass believe it!
I think this story was good, but I think it would've worked AFTER Rainbow Rocks.
The movie ran with the idea of Sunset being guilt-ridden and ostracized by pretty much everyone. Even her ostensible friends are not above referencing her demon past. Adagio's remarks were not about how they were going to win, but how no one really like her, which is something Sunset had to deal with.
Her managing to get under the skin of Adagio (or another nasty villain) would work in a different movie, but not when she's still harboring a lot of guilt for how she used to be.
very interesting! seems aria now respects sunset :)