Friends From Another World

by dbzponyninja

Story Two

Friends From Another World Story Two

Three days after Rarity, Sunset Shimmer and Sonata Dusk visited me at my parents house Adagio Dazzle, Applejack, Aria Blaze, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Princess Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Sonata and Sunset all appeared at my house and visited me however since it was night time unlike last time when they visited me I asked all of them "I'm glad that you're here but it's night time so what are you doing here?"

Rarity told me "Sorry darling but Pinkie Pie wanted to sleep over at your house and we did promise to bring everyone this time."

Pinkie Pie told me "Sorry Evan but after Rarity, Sunset and Sonata told me about you a few days ago I wanted to meet you in person."

I told both Rarity and Pinkie Pie "Ah don't worry about it, could you just warn me next time when you show up at night time."

Adagio, Aria and Sonata all asked me at the same time "I don't really think that's possible but anyway are you going to let us in or not?"

I told them "Oh sorry Adagio, Aria and Sonata sure you can all come in, just try to be quiet my parents and older brother are sleeping."

Anyway when we all went upstairs to my room Fluttershy noticed my dog Amy and said while petting her at the same time "Oh Evan I didn't know that you had a dog, what's her name?"

I answered Fluttershy's question by telling her "Her name's Amy."

Sunset asked me "So yeah I know it's late and everything but can I go downstairs and get a snack?"

I told Sunset "Of course you can Sunset just be quiet while you do it."

Sunset told me "Thanks Evan", and went to get a snack downstairs which she shared with Pinkie Pie, Sonata, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Princess Twilight who it turns out were also hungry as well.

Anyway I told Rarity, Sonata and Sunset "So I know that I promised a few days ago that next time you came over we would watch several episodes of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic and both of the currently released My Little Pony Equestria Girls movies next time you came over but it's kind of late and I'm tired so can we do that some other day, besides I kind of want to go back to bed?"

Fluttershy told me "Oh my I'm sorry that we interrupted you while you were sleeping, but you know what I'm kind of sleepy myself."

Rarity, Sonata and Sunset all said at the same time "We're sleepy too."

Adagio, Aria, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Princess Twilight and Rainbow Dash all asked at the same time "Well were not sleepy yet so what are we supposed to do?"

I told them "Well you can watch t.v., play video games or even use my laptop if you want just try to be as quiet as possible, anyway good night."

Adagio, Aria, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Princess Twilight and Rainbow Dash all told me plus Fluttershy, Rarity, Sonata and Sunset "Good night", and then we went to bed.

When I woke up the next morning I found a note taped to the door of my room which I removed and read outloud "Dear Evan, we all had fun last night sorry we came while you were in the middle of sleeping though, we'll try really hard not to do that again anyway, we'll all be back soon signed your friends Adagio Dazzle, Aria Blaze, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Princess Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Sonata Dusk and Sunset Shimmer."

Comments

[dbzponyninja]

6078516 She's friends with them because she, Adagio and Aria are all reformed in this story.

[staryoshi06]

I don't even know anymore.

[Fallen Prime]

6080766 Okay, FIRST of all, I think Rarity would be creeped out by the guy owning a plush toy of a pony that looked like her.

Second of all, this would be a million times more engaging if all of that - ALL of that - were expanded and described more. Seriously, that one sentence just hand-waves events that ought to at least take up two chapters. SHOW the OC and Sonata playing games and having fun. SHOW the OC and the girls having lunch together. This is EXACTLY the point of "show, don't tell." Judging from the other excerpts quoted in the comments, this pacing is clearly a universal issue within the story, and judging from the lack of punctuation in the excerpt in the comment I'm quoting, there's probably even MORE to this sentence that ought to be its own scene.

Third of all, none of what I said is going to make a difference because this author doesn't understand how to read feedback and better his work. I may as well be talking to a brick wall with an ass that doesn't talk to any commenters until they kiss its ass.

...I will not apologize for that mental image.

[BikerPon3]

6081237

Third of all, none of what I said is going to make a difference because this author doesn't understand how to read feedback and better his work.

True.

[Fundalo]

Oh Celestia THE PACING! SOMEBODY FIX THE PACING!

[moviemaster8510]

6079443 Oh, hello obvious and pathetic alt account, welcome to the party!

[Fallen Prime]

6080117 Okay, what's the source of that clip? I want to know and it's actively bugging me now.

[moviemaster8510]

6082886 Its one of Brock Baker's (McGoiter) vine compilations. I don't remember which one I got it from, but it's one of his more recent ones.

[Fallen Prime]

6083048 Brock Baker. Sounds good. Another Vine personality to waste my life on.

[moviemaster8510]

6083057 He makes the best.

[MLPFan234]

6079443

I hope you are being sarcastic.