• Member Since 18th Feb, 2015
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Ultimus Pendragon


I am but a soldier of the pen, with the grace of a dragon. . .unraveling fiction, one story at a time.

Comments ( 43 )

happened. Well, If If I seem like this all calm and collecting, then because that's how It seems

Strange capitalization every now n' then.

Finally arriving, my feet must have been burnt down to the nub, hands shivering, and nose dripping snot. Along the way here, a driver almost sent me to the e.r. so I took off my scarf to state: ''You could have killed me, and possibly Injured yourself!'' The driver chose to respond with and I quote: ''Fuck you asshole, It's a free country!''

Yep. That about sums up my bike ride to work, though, "a driver" is a vast understatement.

I'm beginning to catch on to the style this is written. I will read more.

Like it, but something stands out like a rose in a dandelion patch to me- ALL your 'I's are capital. You only need to make an 'I' capital when it is either at the beginning of a sentence or on it's own. I'll and I'm are just contractions of 'I will' and 'I am' respectively, so those are the only exceptions to the rule.

Just saying :twilightsheepish:

6496108 I'm not the only one who caught that

Whenever I have urges, most of the time I follow them

what a faptastic statement

Decently written first chapter... now let's look at the rest.

Doors are dangerous.

Am I missing something?
Or Am I just Dum???😕

10145393
Missing what? If you're referring to the last chapter posted, I'll be posting that later today. But something I just noticed myself was my comments disappeared. That was weird.:twilightoops: That's strange, I had close to 100 comments and now I'm down to 15. Maybe having those comments from almost 4 years finally got deleted.:rainbowhuh:

its really hard to prove your case celestia when you pull the usual rainbow dash stunt of physically assaulting someone when you first meet them. Usually in those stories the ponies are all types of racist against non ponies for reasons that aren't made clear at that point in the story which is why I can at least give you the benefit of the doubt. The only current explanation of your behavior is that saying about being careful of not becoming what you hate.

10147552
Good of you to point out that, but in particular instance, it won't really be racism when it comes to everyone, just Celestia. A few chapters ago gives a small idea into why she feels as strongly as she does when everyone is generally accepting. They may not like Duncan, but they do not have any blatant racist tendencies that would lead him to believe that they are racist. But in Celestia's case, she is pretty anti-human, and to her, it'll seem like a good reason, but the story will unfold more about this particular plot point.

10147577
I just re-read the entire story to jog my memories, other than a question about whether the guards are going to take celestia's side and hype to see if Luna takes after her sister or is okay with Duncan being here. There was been hints that this celestia isn't entirely as sane as she appears like that mysterious item she has and likes to madly laugh like a villain around.

Also the racism or human hatred thing is totally unfounded in this fic and Twilight not hero/deity worshiping Celestia gives me hope that Celestia isn't going to be able to rally ponies besides her guards to try to kill Duncan or ruin his day.

10147809
In time, it'll make sense. This version of Celestia is not quite like the others, but I can actually say that in a way; you'd see her side of things aren't as far fetched when you make the connections over the story.

I really hope this story doesn’t get dropped, this is a really great story so far

10555057
It won’t, mind sharing a bit of what you like from it so far?

10555149
I really like the way the story is painting celestial in a bad light, most stories try to paint her as some all loving and never wrong charact, it’s different, and different is good, and from what you describe, you want to slowly shift our view of her as bad to someone who is trying to protect, I can’t wait to see how you pull it off

well twilight, your unwaverigng faith in celestia is about to be rewarded, hopefully your left alive so Duncan can get I told you so moment if you both somehow survive this.

going to automatically assume Pinkie pie instinctively knows about the assassin's presence and was avoiding its presence without really knowing what was going on.

also killing two birds with one stone by also helping to cheer Duncan up and show him the power of laughter.

You know, enjoy the peaceful moments in life before things go to shit due to unknown reasons like being unknowingly hunted for vague reasons.

about two more lessons before the attack?

not to kink shame Celestia, however she's going at her human hatred for vaguely described reasons kinda hard there to not even put up a sound proof barrier.


Also no one expects animals to give away your position, Fluttershy's ability to understand animals could be helpful here.

I hope when we get to the actual encounter with who is stalking the elements and duncan that they win the fight with minimum casualities as possible. Also i hope at the end of this story or arc Celestia gets her comeuppance and pays a HEAVY Price for her instant hatred of Duncan and attempted assassination of Twilight and her friends. Hell I hope Harmony itself interferes with what Celestia is trying to do in a BIG way not just guiding the current bearers, i'm hoping for the Spirit of Harmony itself battles Celestia to either make her see the errors of her way or outright take away Celestia's power or literally kill her and put Luna in charge after making sure she doesn't have the same Prejudice Celestia has or at least knows not all humans are bloodthirsty, mind controlling savages. Sadly i have to wait for 2 more chapters

So, Celestia had a relationship with a human that went very badly and she took it out on all the humans that were in Equestria before. That's my guess for her behavior.

10612708
Yes and no. Did it involve a human? Yes. Was it a relationship? Wait and see? Was it only one? no, not in the slightest. It will make more sense as the story goes on. Let's just say that you may be able to see where she is coming from when all the facts are present, and then it'll be personally up to each of you guys to decide if she was in the right or were the humans for whatever it was they did.

10612719
This was quite obvious considering her personality along with how deep in anger she is. (it is obvious since her anger is for whatever reason angrier than just a normal xenophobic hatred. That and the scenarios that she has portrayed with Duncan gives off a 'hell hath no fury for a women's wrath' kind of vibe'.)

okay I'm confused, was the unknown assassin that was stalking Duncan and waiting for a chance to kill or capture him was just told that he or she now has a set date to deliver the target. Is the order to kill the elements or at least twilight still on the table?

also when you have to wonder if a child is racist, its a good way to show that from Duncan's perpective that celestia's teachings are slowly corrupting the foals of equestria.

10629316
If you go back a few chapters, it says that the assassin was told to watch Duncan, his every single move. Whoever he interacts with, what is said if they can get close enough without being seen, and if he’s trying to “corrupt’ anypony.

Once she has enough information, she’s set to strike, which will not be the kill order, but one of the few steps to slander his name and possibly change Twilight and the gang’s mind about Duncan before swooping in delivering him to Celestia.

Think Naofumi from Shield Hero and how he’s being treated.

And if the girls get in the way, she has the authority to handle them how she sees fit.

10629324
thanks
thinking back to it, her murder boner for wanting to kill twilight to replace her as Celestia's pupil kinda clouded my judgement.

also going to re-read the story up to this point to brush up my understanding or guess at what is celestia's motives for this other than what I think is some strange fetish or she might have a legit reason for any of this.

*about an hour later*

celestia tried to kill him in the first meeting, but now wants to capture him. Told twilight and her friends she wasn't going to involve any other ponies, but told her agent to bring backup to handle the elements of harmony. Even her explanation of what she's going to do when she captures him sounds like some kink to me. *cough* sadism *cough* it does explain why she really doesn't want to kill twilight and crew which means she's half lying to her field agent about her replacing twilight. She just didn't say she was going to kill them, but implied it.

Does this take place during Luna's banishment and if so, does Luna share the same hatred for Duncan?

10629730
No, no. In fact, Luna's banishment was just before Celestia exiled the Equestrian Humans, so she does not even know exactly what her sister did while she was imprisoned on the moon. Is that to say that she hates Duncan at all? No, without spoiling what you'll find out in the next chapter; no, she does not hate him.

All I will say for now is that she will play a very important role when it comes to Duncan and Celestia.

10629605
Good on you for catching that. And while you are right in pointing that out, as far as I see Celestia, at least this version of her is one that will pretty much lie to get what she wants. That does come with a very small scrap of considering to who may be involved, but her skewed way of thinking of wanting to kill Duncan outright without hearing him out is clouding that from ever happening right away.

Her implying death is a double-edged sword, that will make itself known very soon.

She told the field agent, whose name you will find out in the next chapter to bring backup IF she needed to; she more than likely won't have the chance to once the next chapter plays (you'll see what I mean), and that will throw a wrench in the plans altogether. And Celestia's mind is playing out multiple scenarios of what could happen, should her plan succeed.

And lastly; who said it was just going to be ponies?:duck: Celestia may be borderline batshit crazy in this fic, but she's not a complete idiot.

I'm confused on why Starlight Glimmer now looks like Rainbow Dash, Did she assimilate rainbow dash or just knocked her out hid her somewhere then copied her appearance? This was a good chapter.

10703611
Let’s just say a bit of both for the moment. It will get explained in the next chapter, but you are right to a degree.

Comment posted by toshibafox deleted Mar 2nd, 2021

10703611
seems like a part of her plan to screw over Duncan by orders of Celestia, just can't see where she's going with this other than interrupt exposition time with Luna and put duncan in danger somehow.

what a nice bonding moment between luna and Duncan, one's true nature always seem to come out when fighting.

oh Duncan, one way or another your going to find yourself in a dungeon or worst, I place my hopes on a drunken escapade

Small mistake

particularly heaver

Oh come on Princess Luna you're over a thousand years old how can you not see that Rainbow Dash is CLEARLY mind controlled or possessed based on the fact she is FOAMING AT THE MOUTH or at the very least poisoned by hallucinogenic plant or potion

Glad this updated again gonna have to reread but that’s what I enjoy doing so this is a win win for me!

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