I am a brony from Massachusetts with Autism who enjoys MLP, Disney and writing!
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In this sequel to Window Repairs, Discord goes to Tatarus and confronts Tirek over how he tricked Discord into believing there was something more valuable than friendship.
Also contains references from Unwanted Guests
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm honored to inform you all that this story on July 29, 2016, was given the audio treatment by the Highland Bronies of Scotland. Special thanks to Infinite Affection for making it all possible! Here it is!
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Friendly word of advice, link to the previous story.
5974714 Already done.
5974744 Well, I gave it a shot. That's all you can really ask for.
5974744 Yeah just add it into the sequel story thingy, not really an excuse for you not to do this.
No comma after but.
You forgot the first quotation mark.
Interesting idea for a story. You have caught my attention.
Are you sure it should be
and not
?
I like this.
I like the idea, as I liked the one in the previous story, but the pacing could use some work. There's a lot of repetition, where the narration describes something, AND the characters then say it. Ex: Discord summons cucumber sandwiches, then asks "Want a cucumber sandwich?" Better to condense things...
"Would you like a cucumber sandwich?" He asked, snapping a plateful into existence.
The ending also felt rushed, and a bit anvilicious, (kind of like last weekend's episode.) Try to show more, and tell less. We need to see Discord make commitments, not just be told "he made a commitment."
All that said, still a fun read. Thanks!
6027226 Yeah, to be honest, that has always been my Achilles heel and its something that I need to keep working on. Hey, this is one of the joys of writing: it is a never ending learning process.
That "something" does not need to be there. I think that the sentence flows better without it, personally.
You mean "and this is how you repay me?
Don't you mean warm?
6169054
Chaos magic dude. Makes no sense and complete sense at the same time.
6985595 I...actually never thought of that...huh.
6987721
I know right? If it makes no sense, it makes sense that it makes no sense because it's not supposed to make sense.
6987728 25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m85dgr0qLw1rsdgkao1_1280.jpg
6987741
6987747
Welp, let’s see how this goes.
How stupid does he think discord is?
Does the stare even work on discord?