Every night she misses her father. She wants him back, but to do that she must break the ones who sealed him away first.
Takes place during session 2
Chapters (4)
- Member Since 24th Dec, 2011
- offline last seen Jan 23rd, 2018
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Interesting Idea. Will keep a look out for it.
I'd like to see where this goes. That same song inspired my fanon Screwball image, (backwards speak not included, see my fanfic for that)
Screwball is my favorite background pony, please don't break her.
On another note, why do we not have a Screwball emote?
629943what do you mean Emote? I going to do something to her, so I might have to break her because she is the main villain.
I like the idea and the story sounds fun, but the details are really bad.
Through out the chapter you keep jumping from one thing to the next with little to no transaction to keep the story flowing smoothly, leaving it feeling rushed and ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, I like the idea, and the song fits perfectly with what I think your trying to convey. But the irritably bad Grammar/Spelling/Detail keeps me from wishing to continue reading any further.
I MUST HAZ MOAR
632168Could you help me then?
630957
Emote > emoticon, the things on the right of the comment box.
If you do have to break her, just make sure it's for the best.
Then again, it is your story, so do what you want.
Hmmmmmmm, this is the first story that uses the entire song. Probably could have a done a tad bit more with it, though. Still, there is a story here and it's merely just begun.
haters gonna hate
i like it though
Pieces, not peaces. Otherwise, nice chapter.
Screw Ball and Screw Loose; one's the daughter of the spirit of Chaos, Disharmony, and (by extension) Insanity, and the other's just plain insane.
images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4878-d99.gif
669103don't get your hopes up, Screw Loose has a very limited role.
Please...more
This is an interesting idea. I can picture Pinkie playing with Screwball's hat. I thought it was cute. Just the idea of her trying it on is adorable.
Please dont take as long
1544630 I'll try. I take it you want Screwball stopped?
1544969 Well~ I dont really know, i do want the mane 6 to win but i want screwball to be happy.
Could you maybe make two endings, one where the mane 6 win, and one where Screwball wins?
1545076>>1545005Those are good posabliities. It isn't easy for me to write the villain winning
No i mean they both win, i have something in my story where disocrd will win and the mane 6 dont have internal chaos, but that part wont come out for a while
well I cant say that Rd wasn't an easy start but I must say that was a well played plan
1651723Thank you. What do you like about it?
you played on Rd's obvious weakness's it also works cause I'm a sadist
1653047Well good for you, It's not going to be easy when I get to Fluttershy.
1653071 how would that be hard? just do what the gala did only with her personal pets and expand from there
1653202At the gala she just went crazy not cruel. I'll think of something, she isn't next anyway.
1653378 she may have gone crazy but those were animals she didn't care for personally and remember those closest to the heart make the deepest wounds
1653741I know those closest to the heart make the deepest wounds. but just how is Screwball going to work with that? I was thinking she could dream about having a family one day and Screwball could work with that.
1654139 she has family and screball kills them PURE SADISM
!!!!!!!
1654139 the animals stay with her because they love her all they need do is abandon her then have her friends ignore her that would make anyone cruel
1655073Screwball doesn't kill, only breaks
1655623Who's fic is this? mine or yours?
1657115 alright alright just sayin
1657974Sorry
1658706 your in the write I'm am just a spectator and you are the author so its all good
I swear, I think Screwball's worse than Pinkie Pie when it comes to breaking the fourth wall. I like it. And, for some reason, I can see the whole thing playing out as if it were straight out of the show, animation and everything.
...Is it strange that I actually want Screwball to win, considering the fact that I don't usually side with the antagonists?
2027449 Understandable sweet heart
Maybe you should do Rarity next, then Fluttershy, Pinkie, Applejack, and finally (because it makes sense for her to be last) Twilight. (notice anything special about the order?)
Anyway, good story so far, I will watch for more.
2027449
Are they really the antagonist if the story is about them?
2227417 I don't see the special order. and about what you said to Sugar Coat. Have you ever heard of a Villain Protagonist?
2229230
No, I haven't. Oh well, something new every day.
And about the order. When Discord discorded the elements, the order he went in was Applejack, Pinkie, Fluttershy, Rarity, and then Rainbow. The order I put down is the reverse order. Except Twilight, but that's because it makes sense for her to be last.
2229331 You never heard of a Villain Protagonist? Ever hear of Death Note? And it was Rarity before Fluttershy.
2229412
Could have sworn it was Fluttershy first, oh well, nevermind.
2027449
ikr same here but alas it cannot be because discord is free and screwball wouldent have a motive (would have been an awesome episode though)