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Arkolo


Sarcasm is delicious, dry-wit is capricious, prose is judicious, and I'm total sucker for a good pun.

T
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In this verse Chrysalis successfully takes over Canterlot with no last minute hiccups. This hardly ends her venture. In fact, it is just the beginning.

Will neighboring nations become friend or foe? Can her rulership survive the enemies lurking in the shadows ready to sabotage her every effort? Among these obstacles are foes the Alicorns and element bearers would have faced...

NOTE- I began this story early into season 5, accordingly much of the changeling lore in this story won't match details shown in Season 6 and beyond.

Chapters (72)
Comments ( 1437 )

you know every single one of these chrysalis won stories are completely contrived. and this one is not different.

for fuck's sake, if you are gonna inexplicably make the arrogant and prideful creature go against character and bind them, when that would do nothing to feed her vanity, why would you make luna a compelte idiot? she would have ismply left and thus collected ALL OF FUCKING EQUESTRIA and returned. the changeligns are outnumbered a hundred, even a thousand, to one. and changelings are vyer, very weak when they do not have ambush or surprise on their side; the mane six beat up several dozen of them.

chrysalis is characterized by being vain, guilful, but very short sighted. luna would have known better and would have simply escaped, as that would be the tactical thing to do. you can't make the villain smart and the good guys retarded, that is just lazy, lazy damn writing.

data evaluated state that chrysalis was doomed from the start. chrysalis power boost was temporary, and by the time luna came back she would ahve an army at her back and would still be full power.
and even then, we have Sombra who will appear shortly after....... and sombra would have easily defeated chrysalis and her changelings.

:applejackconfused: Um.......I don't quite follow this at all.

Chrysalis Wins? :applejackunsure: It doesn't makes any sense to me at all.

5866496 mainly cause contrived to be honest. especially the part of luna not just teleporting outta the room, or blsating chrysalis to smithereens as for some inexplicable reason she tried to bind her.

it is common in contrived fics. making the bad guy smart and the good guys mentallly deficient.

5866530 Um. I was waiting for arkolo to give me an answer.

to and battle 154 first

- the simple idea is Chrysalis wins the invasion of canterlot at the end of season 2, instead of getting blasted away to the badlands.

to lordofmyth

- First i would like to thank you for taking the time to review, i appreciate the time you took to answer, and the points you make are certainly interesting.
- Secondly i would be very interested if you could point me to another one of these "chrysalis won" stories, i would like to read and compare them, i am interested how others would portray that version of events.
- As far as Luna goes the show really left no clues where she was, other than briefly being shown in Canterlot. As for whether Luna would run or choose to fight is another debatable point, should might not now Celestia was already taken down.
- And for your last paragraph about evacuated data, i would be interested in the sources if you could link them to me. I would like to hear peoples analytical perspective of the events.
- From what i've seen described and heard by various members of the community Chrysalis's whole power play was rather unknown, or how long it would specifically last. Chrysalis herself was surprised she beat Celestia, and it did massive things for her ego. Then Chrysalis was surprised by Cadance's and Shing's love empowered spell. I just wanted to play around with the idea if Chrysalis had been a little more rational at her moment of power.
- Luna indeed was a kind of wild card, but with Celestia bagged in goo, whos to say Chrysalis couldn't just drain some more magic from the solar princess, and become even more powerful than she already was. Though i would have to edit that in ofcourse ;).
- Also if luna left for the amount of time you just described, in order to gather equistria to fight Chrysalis and try to retake Canterlot, i would argue Chrysalis would be even more powerful by then. Because if Luna got extra time to prepare, so would Chrysalis, and she would have more time to feed from more victims. But such a point is really subjective.

Anyway, I would like to thank you for your time, and i do appreciate your comments. May you find stories more to you taste if this one doesn't fit.

This is a very, very good idea.:yay:

This is very, very poorly executed.:pinkiesad2:

5866626 Hmm. :applejackunsure: Makes sense but, I still a bit confused of this point.

5866462 How would Luna leave? She was besieged in her tower.

Most 'Chrysalis takes over' stories, as well as a bunch of variant takes on the wedding where Chrysalis still loses, have Luna captured in her sleep, actually -- or just sleeping through the entire battle. It was the middle of the day and she was on night watch, so she would have been asleep when the battle started. Shining Armor orders a guard rotation that puts changelings in charge of guarding her, and before she can do anything her horn is sealed up with goo and she's in a cocoon.

So what will happen to the ponies now?

>> unlikely. she has her own guard. more so chrysalis was the sole changelings in canterlot.

and she can teleport dude. celestia can easily teleport from canterlot to ponyville. why would luna be any less capable?

:applejackunsure: So Chrysalis moved the sun? :applejackconfused: Ugh......I can't think......my head hurts and I'm confused again......

5869547 Using mind control on it. And it burned her horn. :derpytongue2:

If she's eaten enough love to be on an alicorn level of power, then she should be able to move it in *some* fashion. Luna and Twilight both managed it without much fanfare.

5869547

well as explained in the Hearth's warming eve episode, unicorns moved the sun and moon before Celestia and Luna did. This makes me suppose that magically inclined races would also have the ability to do so. Though when Chrysalis assumes she can do it just like Celestia, she suffers obvious back fire. I believe Celestia's affinity for the sun is what let her do it single handedly, otherwise it took a group of powerful magical casters, or discord... The situation will be explored more next chapter ;)

Thank you for the reading!

5869692 :applejackconfused: Um.......Ok....But I'm still confused mind control on a sun? That doesn't make any sense....ugh.....my head hurts again......

5869714 Um....ya, sure thing. :applejackconfused: Oh man....I do like this but at the same time not my cup of tea of seeing a Changeling win. Gah...too much thinking is hurting my head....

5869692

Lol, thanks for the comment :twilightsmile:

The main reason i think chrysalis would suffer from experimenting on it is that there is some technique involved in moving the sun, not just raw power. Luna and Twilight would have the advantage of Celestia giving them any tutelage they would need in moving the celestial bodies. I imagine clumbsily handling the sun with raw magic might have poor consequences

5869735

Sorry for it hurting your head, hehe, but next chapter will bring some clarity into the process of moving the sun. Because Chrysalis is not too keen on repeating the process the same way come morning. She will be evaluating her options. :duck:

5867090

Find out in ch.3's meeting :trixieshiftright:

........ you would think she would just escape by now, celestia. chrysalis made a monstrous mistake in the fact that luna can dream walk, and i am pretty sure she could repel whatever spell in on celestia as easily as celestia would have destroyed chrysalis if she was not idiotically lucky.
heck in that case the fact chrysalis did not know she had temporarily become stronger was a primary factor. otherwise celestia woulda been more cuatious.

5873299

Oh the fact that Luna can dream walk will definitely have a part to play. :trixieshiftright: And I'm not Denying that Chrysalis was lucky. It was written all over her face when you watch the show. But once she did manage to take Celestia by surprise, she realized she obtained a level of power she didn't think she could reach. Also Chrysalis's maximum level of power was never really specified either, like more villains of the show. So i'm going to assume the further she feeds, the stronger she'll get.

5873346 think the factor was specifically how strong shining armor's love was. else she would have just used the tactic of overcharge to begin with.
and even then she EATS love. meaning that the energy is 'digested' over time. more than likely it means she had to use the lvoe she stole as fuel for her magic too. likely it takes a lot of overpower an alicorn.
think that her power is definitely stronger than a unicorn, least around cadance's strength i would wager. likely well below celestia's power though. thus power boost of the temporary. and lunas as well........

5873390

I definitely agree the amount of love in shining armor was the key factor in the power boost. So i think we can imagine 'average love' or whatever that is wouldn't empower her the same way.
Also love as a food.:rainbowlaugh: I would imagine it certainly would have a finite shelf life, and converting that love to magic would use it up even faster.
One other funny thing to consider is that changelings don't really seem to get 'full'. I mean most fics depict them as certainly knowing when they are hungry. But the don't really get 'stuffed' or too full of love. The fact Chrysalis that chrysalis apparently consumed more love from shining armor than she realized makes me think they don't have a stop button, when it comes to absorbing love, therefore no stop button on the power increase, so long as there is still love from the victim to drain.
Then the shelf life of love. I imagine it would be short, and using magic makes it shorter. But the show doesn't really give any quantifiable information on their 'digestion'. And since they never get 'full' i imagine one good feeding can last a very long time.
As for specifically comparing Chrysalis's power... It totally depends, i mean Chrysalis before aborsbing Shining's love, LOL She would be a push over for Celestia. But after beating celestia? hmm, Celestia is a pony full of love for her subjects, and Chrysalis 'assuming she's smart and rational' could eat that up, i don't know how to compare that to Shining's love but i imagine it would be another massive boost.
XD

This conversation is fun, thanks for the comments again :rainbowlaugh:

5873420 it seems to have to be directly taken from a victim. so it seems unlikely she could jsut TAKE it. if anything hurting celestia would breed fear and hate from the ponies.

Chrysalis winning is an overused premise, but the story's description looks like it'll do a twist stories often don't bother with: The fact she'd have to deal with all of the problems the actual main characters did (Sombra, Tirek, etc.), something that tends to be glossed over in such stories.

However, there's a big problem with the story, or at least the first chapter. It's riddled with spelling and grammar errors. Here's some examples:

“You Won’t get away with this, Twilight and her friends will-“

Should be:

“You won’t get away with this, Twilight and her friends will-“

There’s no need to capitalize that won’t. There are other cases of wrongful capitalization, but what I want to note here is that the closing quotation mark is facing the wrong direction. Most likely you ran into the problem I initially did when writing a story: If you put a hyphen just before the second quotation mark, the “smart quotes” won’t work right for some reason it’ll look like an opening quote instead. My suggestion is to write the sentence, put in the final quotation mark, then go back a space and put in the hyphen then. (unfortunately, the smart quotes don't seem to be displaying quite correctly in the comments section, making my point harder to express)

Here we have another case of unnecessary capitalization:

Cadance’s defiant words were interrupted at the main halls doors were burst open. The Six Elements of Harmony were dragged into the grand chamber, which was in partial redecoration, sporting a large amount of changeling slime all over the place. The Six ponies were closely escorted by just as many sinister Changelings.

This should be:

Cadance’s defiant words were interrupted at the main hall’s doors were burst open. The six Elements of Harmony were dragged into the grand chamber, which was in partial redecoration, sporting a large amount of changeling slime all over the place. The six ponies were closely escorted by just as many sinister changelings.

There's no reason for "six" to be capitalized here nor "changelings" because race names shouldn't be capitalized.

And, on the other side of the fence, here’s a case where there should be capitalization that’s lacking:

Striking a dramatic pose infront of the throne, Chrysalis turned to the Elements of Harmony, staring down at Twilight sparkle specifically.

This should be:

Striking a dramatic pose in front of the throne, Chrysalis turned to the Elements of Harmony, staring down at Twilight Sparkle specifically.

Twilight's last name needs to be capitalized.

And here we find what soon becomes a recurring issue in this chapter:

With a bright flash of green magic a roll of old parchment appears infront of Chrysalis. It unravels and her large green eyes peer through a listing written down the long piece of paper, she thoughtfully rubs a hoof under her chin while scanning through it.

The tense changes for no apparent reason in this paragraph, and afterwards the story inconsistently changes between present tense and past tense narration. Pick one and stick with it; I recommend past tense narration because that's the far more common one (present tense narration generally only works in a first person story). There are also some other errors, such as the misspelling of "in front" a second time, as well as some punctuation errors. So this should be:

With a bright flash of green magic, a roll of old parchment appeared in front of Chrysalis. It unraveled and her large green eyes peered through a listing written down the long piece of paper. She thoughtfully rubbed a hoof under her chin while scanning through it.

Note that these errors are all in just the first ten paragraphs, and I actually skipped over some cases where there are problems so this comment wouldn't be inordinately long. The story really needs an editor because all of these errors really distract. It does look like things improved a little in the succeeding chapters, to be fair, but they still have their share of issues in this area.

5875240

Well, i knew it was a little inevitable. Since i don't have an editor, and don't really know where to look for one. I would like to thank you for the time and effort you put into your comment, and for pointing out those grammatical errors. I think i'll take some time and implement those changes you suggested.

And the premise. :pinkiehappy: is more or less what inspired me to explore this story a little more. I've gone through a story or two where chrysalis has won, but never really felt like that outlet was explored. Judging by what has come after chrysalis it would be far from "maniacal laughter ever after". Sombra comes around almost immediately after she takes over. Then troublesome Trixie with her alicorn amulet. Discord's seeds weakening the tree of harmony = unreformed discord escaping prison again, likely. Tirek, and other problems throughout the season. Yep, those are the things i wanna see Chrysalis deal with :pinkiecrazy:

5875467

Well, there are groups on FIM Fiction where you can try to get editors for your story. For example, this one.

uh..............I still feel really uneasy..........

Still don't get it......

Well, steadily getting better. Here and there you keep spelling Equestria or wrong, or capitalizing/not capitalizing in the wrong place. Over all though, not bad.

Wonder how Sombra will fair. I mean, a guy powered by hatred against someone powered by love? I think he's gonna blow up.:pinkiecrazy:

THE PONIES HAVE BOOBY-TRAPPED THEIR SUN SOMEHOW!! :rainbowlaugh:

K, So i'm going through some of the previous chapters and fixting all those grammer and captilization mistakes. I'm also changing everything to past tense. I'll mark those chapters as "edited" once i'm done. Also i already double / triple checked ch.5 five for these mistakes and it should be fine.

Thank you for your helpful comments my readers :twilightsmile:

Interesting, time for CCCRRRYYYSTAAAALLLLSS!

Also... the guard never even had a chance. Apparently pound for pound insect chitin is tougher than many metals; he would've stabbed her barrel, and his spear would've broke.

yeah round up ponies. that won't cause them to just group together and figure out that changelings are weak.
seriously if just one bat pony could cause so much harm to her how does she expect her own changelings to stand against normal ponies?
and also wouldn't there by a LOT more rebels and soldiers running around? its seems very unlikely that the majority of the soldiers of equestria are stationed in canterlot. both considering there are a lot of threats to equestria, and that celestia would never weaken her borders.
in other words they would have a lot more soldiers to deal with here than what is in canterlot....... and possibly a lot more powerful soldiers too. celestia is the type to station the strongest of her army where they will actually be useful.

also i do not think there exists a solution for chrysalis outside of just releasing the mane six and princesses here. even if she could mathc sombra magical strength, she is not well trained in any imagination. she wouldn't stand a chance.
and even if she, as she would have to personally capture the heart again, managed to place the heart, it would probably kill her.......

Hmmm, no evil gloating this time around. If she acted this smart here, then the rest of her plan would've come off as stupid. Seriously, disguise or not, her acting was atrocious. I'm still stumped over the fact Twilight was the only one who noticed at all.

5878948 ;.......... okay i utterly missed that contrivence. there is no way chitin would repel metal in any level of imagination. hell the mane six utterly devastated the changelings that attacked them very easily. obviously they are not durable in any imagination to begin with.

5879051 always thought part of that was on purpose. chrysalis knew she could not properly imitate cadance, so she set up the scenario that during the wedding, abnormal behavior could be noted as wedding jitters.
also what point would killing or detaining ponies when their helplessness and reaction would feed her vanity?

even if she acted out of character and did this, luna would probably have destroyed her, or at least easily escaped and rounded up ALL OF EQUESTRIA to take back canterlot.

5879055

okay i utterly missed that contrivence. there is no way chitin would repel metal in any level of imagination.

Exoskeletons are pretty damn tough IRL, but that's not what happened in the story here.

hell the mane six utterly devastated the changelings that attacked them very easily. obviously they are not durable in any imagination to begin with.

First, you clearly have a poor imagination for imagining imaginations. Second, if you go back and look more closely at that scene, and what goes on, this turns out to be incorrect.

5879046

Well, Chrysalis wasn't going to search for ponies still willing to fight with big ol' blaring trumpets. Not when her servants can just go in disguise and try to read pony emotions for clues.
The bat pony hit her in a less armored spot, the joint at the base of the wing. The little science point Europa made is also very interesting. thank you for that bit of information :raritywink: So Chrysalis wasn't in real danger from being mortally wounded.
The show did make a point of showing increased military activity surrouding canterlot at the time of the wedding. So regardless of the threats outside of Equestria, Celestia saw fit to reinforce Canterlot. If some mysterious enemy threatens the head of your nation, it makes sense to fortify it.
Also there are definitely lots of ponies who would still want to fight against Chrysalis's rule. She's only taken over canterlot for now, and she'll have to fight to gain more ground besides that. But conquering Ponyville, Manehatten, Baltimare, and other places will wait for later chapters. Don't worry, the ponies have not all submitted :twilightangry2:

As for Sombra, that's what i look forward to writing next :trollestia:

5879088 ......... they pulverize them and get trapped between two groups at the end, got surrounded. it is accurate.

5879139

they pulverize them and get trapped between two groups at the end, got surrounded. it is accurate.

Wrong. The mane 6 didn't 'pulverize' the changelings, they pulverized themselves by taking their forms - squishy, non-alicornesque forms - and causing friendly fire; look at all the 'dust clouds of fighting' surrounding them.

5879131 you would have to make a very contrived plot for it to go any other way than chrysalis giving up and releasing the princesses and mane six. be like having discord pop up and somehow chrysalis could handle him. when it comes to levels of power and threat, she is very low on the scale here. admitably the scale includes demonic centaurs, chaos beasts, and sauronicorns so even rating there is a feat, but she is ultimately lower on the list. i would debate whether or not starlight glimmer is a larger threat than here even. starlight is still only a unicorn, but she has superior intelligence and competence in leading others.

and infiltrating would fall flat on its ass at this stage. they would already learn about the shapeshifting. the citizens of equestria are a lot more competent than the show normally gives em credit for....... this would be extra, extra true if they tried to infiltrate the apple family. they would be exposed quicker than a 'countryism term'.

know you want to write some kind fo story where chrysalis has to deal with the threats but ultimately chrysalis is not competent enough to get past sombra. as i said, even if she either went there herself or sent all her forces to find and place the heart, the effect would probably be fatal. the heart isn't the elements of harmony. it seeks order, not balance, and destroys or surpresses chaos and darkness.
so either she would be left without her army or she would die in the process.

5879148 and even with friendly fire they beat them all up. remember? they left them rolling in the dirst by the changelings managed to get inside first, and enough wounded changelings managed to get up as well to surround them. lacking mobility they were caught.

5879179

and even with friendly fire they beat them all up. remember?

:ajbemused: Are you TRYING to misunderstand me? The changelings friendly-fired THEMSELVES.:facehoof:

5879046 Ponies are very easy to enslave. I mean, Trixie did it.

If you make them miserable they'll plot behind your back to depose you, which might be going on all over the place, but in the open they'll cooperate.

5879172

That my way, or the high way attitude towards plot decisions doesn't leave much room for creativity :applejackunsure:

I'm also feeling you have a bunch of assumptions about these characters power levels i don't necissarily agree with. It's not like the show gave them an actual rating.

ex: K hmm well, on pony power scales :pinkiecrazy:
- normal unicorn = 2
- alicorns = 5-7, depends which one
- Chrysalis = feed me Seymour, feed me all night long. or (Large fluctuations)
- Sombra = 6-8, don't really know, took both luna and Celestia to banish him
- Discord = 9
- Tirek = 1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+9+:moustache:
- Friendship is deus ex machina / elements = all the power, unless sufficiently trolled by the villain. :rainbowwild:

I mean Starlight Glimmer being stronger than a well fed chrysalis? :rainbowhuh: -which Chrysalis is well fed by this point in the story-
And as far as being a competent leader Chrysalis made her fair share of goofs, but is a little paint on your flank is a better disguise... :rainbowlaugh: yep, real good manipulation of your subjects there. Without her rod of sameness Starlight doesn't really have any magical trump card.
Concerning the Crystal Heart, all that is really depicted about it is that it's fueled by the light and love of the crystal ponies, and that it repels Sombra's dark magic. Chrysalis doesn't use "dark" magic, she uses what ever that green themed changeling stuff is. She's also full of love...lol, yes i know it's taken, but she still holds it.

But ultimately I want an interesting narrative, a 2 second blow out isn't what these characters deserve anyway.

5880013 the equal sign town certainly didn't bend over backwards once they had an opening.
trixie was only able to because she had enough power to with the alicorn amulet. changelings do not have enough power to force ponies to do anything at all. it would require chrysalis personally ensuring all that.
which would leave canterlot vulnerable to a handful of ponies to rush in and save the princesses.

5880108 no she uses dark magic. she consumes love to fuel it, but love is a complex emotion. it fuels both affection and hatred after all. and the nature of her powers imply they are dark by nature.
she overpowers minds and absorbs the love and emotion from her victims. how is that not dark?

aaand you a mistaking what i mean. i am not basing it on power but on their ability to be a threat. chrysalis has more power than starlight, but in reality starlight is the more competent foe in terms of intelligence and charisma. she is a manipulator, far more skilled than chrysalis. heck she actually made the mane six legitimately helpless. however they used cunning to defeat her. the found the hole in her plan and tore it open.
and yes her bit of paint on her flank was a much better disguise because it is so simple. she convinced her followers that the staff had the powers and that she took her own mark. all she had to do was use a little make up to hide the truth. there was no way for anyone to know this unless the stumble across it.

power levels i guess depends on how much comics are taken into account. the comics are a bit of a mess these days. though i would say quality is closest to canon in a sense. in the comics chrysalis was in fact overpowered by twilight, mainly because twilight had much more magical skills.
however something that is probably higher up would be the sombra origin story. definitely a pretty fair story, it has sombra state that he was no match at all for the regal sisters, but had prepared the dark magic that would banish the crystal empire.
put simply a guy who had the skills to banish the crystal empire compared to someone who has far less magical education and abilities but MAYBE the ability to enhance her powers above celestia temporarily. power means nothing in that circumstance.

and i am gonna admit that point of view IS very limiting, yet ultimately if you just do whatever you want you risk not really thinking on your decisions. that is the trap a majority of fanfic writers fall into. limits are useful as it keeps you from having pinkie pie turn into an alicorn and your red and black oc from becoming the god of equestria or something.

5880110

"changelings do not have enough power to force ponies to do anything at all."

:facehoof:

K, In the show, Canterlot was going down. Chrysalis defeated celestia, her swarm did the rest. You've got to give them credit for some level of competency for doing that.

plus the swarm would gain power exponentially once it had access to the love of all the ponies in Canterlot.

I just... i think we exist on alternate dimensions of reasoning :twilightsheepish:

5875467

That because Changeling is Changeling,

There Alwaying Change and evolving,

We know Changeling can Change Size well other things with Comics,

So It very clear that need inftine many love to turlly full because the infinite state must filled another infinite state,

Also Act that Changeling Store Love used Green Blob that used.

It Chrysalis want If she could get love to Blow Moon or The Planet she want if she find it and store used Green Love Bag.

She Turn into Butterfly or Giant Dinosaur and everything in between.

Just how powerful Chrysalis if just Min-maxing her Power, It be horrifying

This why chrysalis is scary foe, and Love in Mlp is more Powerful than Friendship is per pound

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