Chrysalis Wins
Ch.24 “The Great and Powerful” part 2
In a humble alleyway –
Sombra worked to fix his top hat, as he had to recover from the initial gust the giant firework display had brought. The whiplash of air caused all loose articles of clothing to be blown about, which had caused his curved horn to poke a large hole in his hat.
After he pulled the hat off and frowned at the damage it had taken, he put it back on with a slight pout. The small pink filly was still clutching onto his leg, and he ignored it the same as last time. His crimson eyes had gone back to the crystal scrying pane to figure out what happened exactly.
He had watched the fight progress to the point where Trixie had been pulled underground. When the tunnel burst with too much light to comfortably witness he almost canceled the magic in the scry crystal. Fortunately it dimmed before that became necessary.
Trixie had crawled out of the hole with no Enigma in sight. Sombra narrowed his eyes and patiently waited for some other sign. His hooves quickly swiped the crystal surface so he could observe different locations. Every which way there was no sign of the disguised changeling queen.
“Come on Queen Horsefly, I need you to do more than that…”
“Queen Horsefly? Didn’t Trixie call that tall pony Enigma? Where’d she go?”
Diamond Tiara had gained enough courage to peak away from her secured position on Sombra’s foreleg. Sombra just booped her snoot with a hoof to quiet her, his focus was intent on the scry crystal, and he didn’t want to miss anything important.
CLANK!
“OW!”
A small metal object whizzed through the air at high velocity, and collided with Sombra’s head. It made another nasty large hole in his tasteless top hat, and gave a good thump on his skull. He was going to shout something along the lines of…
-Demons from Tartarus will impale your flanks with a thousand rusty pitchforks!-
But it came out more like…
“My unfortunate head, it was impolite of whoever it was to throw that.”
He looked around for the offending item, and realized something weighty was in his top hat that wasn’t there before. He removed the hat, and shook it like a can to empty it, to which , a small crown fell out.
“Hey, a little tiara!”
Diamond Tiara reached out for it, but Sombra grabbed it first.
“It hit my head, I will exact gentle chastisement on it first!”
He tapped the object softly in petty revenge, then hoofed it to the filly, who eagerly grabbed for it. The stallion was about to ignore it after that, but something was familiar about that small object, and he turned to look at it more closely.
It was a dull dark metal, and had four points tipped with small blue orbs. A little crown, that was last seen on the head of…
“Oh.”
His large crimson eyes were drawn to the sky and the smoky remains of the firework display. Then his gaze went down to the crown, and back up to the sky. He started to laugh heartily, so that’s where she went.
“To fry a bug, why didn’t I try that earlier…”
“Huh, why would you want to fry bugs?”
Little Diamond Tiara, no longer clasped to Sombra’s fore-leg, her front hooves were now preoccupied with the small crown she held. She didn’t bother to look up as she asked the question. Her blue eyes were fascinated as she inspected the details of the simple, yet unusual object. It was quite heavy for it’s size.
“It was one particular bug really. A bug that wore that crown you’re holding.”
The small filly stopped in the middle of her fiddle with the metal object, her eyes were drawn level, as she slowly turned to look up at the giant grey stallion. Her tone was skeptical.
“A bug wore this?”
“A very large bug, she was around my size. But now I think she is cooked… Maybe, if we’re lucky a leg or two will drop by, it would go well with the crystal corn.”
The dark stallion flashed the fangs in his mouth and smiled at the thought, he even licked his lips a little. Diamond’s mouth hung open slightly and one eye began to twitch. She looked down to the crown in her hooves, before she noticed how she trembled as she held the object. The little crown was dropped with a soft thud, and the filly thought very seriously about leaving this mysterious spy stallion to his mysterious spying.
Sombra noticed the filly’s rather shocked expression. He chuckled and gave her a pat on the back, which caused her to squeak loudly and jump.
“What… have you never heard the phrase ‘to feast on your enemies’?”
“No, ew!”
“Well, that’s fine, you are young, you probably don’t do anything more than drink the tears of other fillies and colts unfortunate enough to cross your path. When you mature some, come talk to me again.”
Diamond Tiara kept her mouth slightly ajar, but narrowed her eyes and shook her head critically. Meanwhile, a giant grey hoof went over to the scry crystal and began to shift the images once more. A little more crystal corn found it’s way to Sombra’s fanged mouth, and he crunched it absent mindedly.
“I suppose there are some other places I should check on. Too bad, I really expected more out of Chryssi-chryss. I just had to make some difficult technicality when I made that amulet, didn’t I…”
“Wait you’re the reason that crazy unicorn took over town!”
The pink filly jumped to her hooves and pointed an accusatory hoof at her giant companion. Sombra’s response was nonchalant.
“Of course, I have a little condition that keeps me from simply taking it. So I’m using other ponies to do the job. Besides, why do something when you can get other ponies to do it for you?”
“Huh, I actually agree with that last part.”
“But in any case, the amulet can’t be removed by any pony except the wearer.”
“And why do you want it back? Are you going to go all crazy too… well, crazier that you already seem to be.”
Sombra just turned to Diamond with a wide smile, which unnerved the little filly greatly.
“I just want to be back to the way I was, and I want back what is mine. Miss tall, shiny, bug mare took a number of things from me, and though I doubt she’s actually gone, if she’s out of commission I’ll have to modify my plans.”
“Wait, are you talking about that invasion that happened in Canterlot more than a week ago?”
“She only took over that recently huh?”
“Ya, there was supposed to be this big wedding, but she crashed it. Now she says she’s queen in place of Celestia, at least that’s what the news said.”
“Interesting, but she and I crossed paths at my empire, and that’s what I want back first. Once I’m back to normal, I’ll return the favor, and squat my flank on her throne for a little while.”
Red magic gripped the little crown that Diamond had dropped on the ground, it was lifted up in front of his snout and he looked at it with a reserved smile. Then he lifted his top hat and deposited the little crown inside of it.
His eyes shifted to the scry crystal again, and with a wave of a hoof, the vision altered. Now it was in front of Golden Oaks Library. There were a few of the ponies he had placed there earlier, and… there, there was Chrysalis. She stood tall over the ponies who were terrified at her appearance.
A small tingle went down Sombra’s spine, he enjoyed fear in others, and a hint of jealousy crept into his demeanor. That changeling was free to inspire fear if she so wished, while he had to deal with a destabilized mess of emotions that made him second guess his every action. It killed his willpower often, and he couldn’t even be properly frustrated about it…
“Wait… You’re royalty? Then why are you skulking around in gaudy clothes?”
Sombra face-hoofed in mild annoyance that he wished was more than mild, but he couldn’t muster up anything more than mild. He wanted to shout loudly, but he sighed and spoke softly
“Yes filly, I am a king, but I’m hiding because I’ve had many things taken from me.”
A slight flash came from the scry crystal and Sombra saw the changeling queen cast some kind of spell. The effect was immediate, and slight tremors could be felt from several directions. Outside of the alley the ground burst apart and several changelings popped out.
A scream of fright was interrupted as Sombra shoved a hoof over Diamond’s mouth. His bloody red eyes were now focused on the edge of the alley way, where several changelings walked by, and the two ponies managed to sit there unnoticed.
After they had passed Sombra lowered his hoof, and Diamond whispered loudly.
“There’s more of them here?”
An edge of panic was in the filly’s voice, and Sombra continued to stare at the edge of the alley, and ignored the filly’s inquiry. Another voice echoed nearby the alley.
“Diamond? Diamond! Where are you?”
“Mom!”
The little pinky filly shouted before Sombra could do anything to help her be quiet. The giant stallion flinched that attention was suddenly brought to his little obscured alleyway. In a moment another pony mare peaked around at the edge of alley.
This mare was pink pelted and had a white-purple striped mane. Her eyes were moderate shade of violet with bright highlights, and her cutie mark was a baseball with a screw next to it.
“Diamond! Why did you-”
Her violet eyes caught sight of the stallion her daughter sat next to, and they widened considerably. Before the mare could say anything to escalate the situation, Sombra put hoof behind Diamond and shoved her towards her mother. His tone was dismissive.
“Please take her, she’s been putting her snout into business that isn’t hers.”
“Hey!”
“Diamond! I’m sorry… Sir? I’ll take her right away.”
“But mom! He’s doing interesting spy stuff.”
“Not our business Diamond, now come here, now!”
The pink mare spoke with an authoritative voice, and the filly begrudgingly dragged her hooves out of the alley way. Once the filly was gone, Sombra readjusted his position to get comfortable, he no longer leaned against the wall, but leaned forward towards the scry crystal.
“Ahem…”
A loud cough interrupted his focus, and he noticed the adult pony hadn’t left the edge of the alley way yet. He rolled his eyes and sighed.
“What were you doing with my daughter in some obscure alley?”
“Minding my own business, she stalked me.”
“And you didn’t bring her out to look for her parents?”
“I’m a busy pony what can I say… I’m not going to let intrusive ponies get in the way of my work.”
Sombra stood up in the middle of his sentence and took a few long steps toward the pink mare. His imposing height loomed over the protective parent, and he looked down into her purple irises with his red rimmed ones. To his surprise, the mare wasn’t remotely intimidated by his display of stature. Instead the pink mare leveled him with a hard glare of her own, and her voice carried a sharp edge to it.
“For your sake, I hope your business isn’t too intrusive… My friends wouldn’t take kindly to that.”
For a brief moment the mare’s purple eyes flashed green for a moment, and Sombra did a double take.
Then suddenly diamond’s mother went blank in her gaze, as if something interrupted her focus. A moment later she shook her head, and snapped her attention in another direction. This left Sombra alone, as the mare bolted away from the alley. She scooped up her daughter and put her on her back as she started to gallop away.
Sombra could catch a few words as the mother and daughter left.
“I’m going to leave you with daddy Diamond, then I have to go somewhere else, it’s an emergency. I don’t want you to leave daddy for any reason.”
“Why?”
“I don’t have time to explain.”
After that the words were too distant to make out clearly. Sombra looked after them one time with a suspicious glare, but then turned back to his scry crystal. At least he was now left alone, the fact changelings were currently running around the surface at the moment might make for a good distraction to other potentially snoopy ponies.
When his eyes roamed over to the image that showed Golden Oaks Library he noticed that something was missing. There were several burly changelings that stood around the element mares, but there was no Chrysalis. He hummed in curiosity, where had she gone while he looked away?
The answer came in the form of a loud buzz. When his gaze turned skyward and he saw a small swarm of changelings buzz directly overhead, and move rapidly across Ponyville. In the lead was the queen.
This brought a smile to his fanged muzzle, and he tapped the scry crystal. So he could watch Trixie once more, she still had an ice pack glued to half of her face and the two unicorn colts continued to bow out of respect and fear close by.
He crossed his front hooves over one another, before he placed his chin on top of that, and watched in observant silence.
---
The thunderous buzz of changeling wings hummed over to the outskirts of Ponyville. To where an azure unicorn mare and two colts stood. As they approached Trixie removed the ice pack to get a better look, and the two foolhardy colts quivered more than they already were.
“What is this… More creatures in need of Trixie’s punishment.”
Her eyes roamed over the group that number over fifty and rapidly approached. The violet eyes that were tainted red spotted a particularly tall figure, and this is who her eyes lingered on.”
“Enigma? No… what?”
The other insectile creatures started to land on the ground a good distance away from her, while the largest one of them all remained in the air, and her horn glowed with ethereal green energy. Trixie was able to recognize the feeling of that aura, and she cocked an eyebrow.
“Trixie can see why you wore a disguise Enigma, you're even more hideous in your own skin. Trixie is surprised you survived the fire works, and she will now prop-”
Her loud voice was interrupted by a blast of emerald light and beam of powerful magic. On instinct Trixie raised a shield defensively. Even though she had no particular knack for that type of magic, the amulet she wore more than made up for any clumsiness she had. The shield was a corrupted glow of purple, as red and blue aura’s mixed and swirled.
Chrysalis growled in frustration as Trixie’s barrier held it’s ground. The power of contained within the amulet was truly impressive. To allow such a lowly unicorn to contend with her on such a level.
In a state of deep vexation Chrysalis amplified her energy even more, the green magic thickened, and the changeling queen had to brace herself against the reckless exertion. All four of her hooves dug deep into the ground as she tried to overwhelm the amulet empowered shield. Intuitively the queen could feel the situation becoming ever more dangerous. As she continued to hold up the flow of power, she could feel her reserves of energy deplete much faster than she wanted.
In response to changeling’s increase in force was an increase in the strength of the shield. Trixie focused all the power of her defensive magic directly opposed to the queen. This caused the shield to no longer cover her from all angles, but she could then brace against what Chrysalis threw at her with moderate effort. Despite the bruise over her face, Trixie cracked a mad smile that was wider than ever. Truly, the amulet made her unstoppable! Sadly she was too focused to actually shout that out loud.
For all the effort of trying to force her down, by herself, Chrysalis realized she couldn’t keep this up, and her frustration grew exponentially. She made a rage filled call across the swarms mental link.
“Don’t just stand there! Help me! Vanguard too, abandon your watch!”
The queen’s call screeched at all the other nearby changelings, and obediently, if fearfully, complied. Sentinels, drones, and vanguard swarmed over towards Trixie’s location. The gave a wide berth to avoid their queen’s line of fire, but didn’t wait to start peppering the unicorn’s more vulnerable sides. A mixed hail of energy bolts and balls
With her shield unprepared to take attacks from other angles, Trixie was caught off guard, the barrage of changeling projectiles quickly through her focus off, so she tried to wrap the shield around to block the other changelings more effectively. The multi tasking proved to undermine the strength of the shield at a particular point of pressure. The queen capitalized on the critical distraction, and pushed out a final burst of energy to compromise the unicorn’s defense.
The shield finally buckled, and broke with the sound of shattering glass. The backlash of the failed spell sent Trixie rolling back in a brutal tumble, while the changeling queen fell back on her rump, and cut off the expensive expulsion of energy.
With the contact between the two broken, the rest of the changelings pounced on the enemy of their queen, and the self-aggrandized unicorn was buried under a pile of blackened limbs and buzzing wings.
Despite the exhaustive amount of power Chrysalis had used up, she forced herself back up onto her forces, and charged forward in a rather slow sprint. The queen’s reverberant voice roared at the swarm of bodies in front of her.
“OUT OF THE WAY! SHE’S MINE!”
Her subjects quickly parted like water as they cowered away from her wrathful presence. The path was left clear, and at the end of it was the target. Trixie’s was completely pinned to the ground under a heap of slime. Only her neck and muzzle were relatively free, several bruises could be seen developing, from all the cheap shots delivered during the mobbing.
Chrysalis let out a bestial growl as she looked down on her mauled and pinned rival. Then her gaze fixated on the ornament around Trixie’s neck. That thing was why she was almost embarrassed by this run-of-the-mill pony. Hatred burned so deeply from the queen that the air around her horn began to heat up in waves, and an inner fire burned brightly from within her eyes. This amulet couldn’t be allowed in the hooves of such worthless individuals. Something that could rival her powers like this would be hers or no one's.
“You don’t deserve an artifact like this you miserable wretch.”
Her horn ignited as she seized the amulet in her magic. The green aura wrapped around the metal trinket, but failed to make it budge. Surprised by the lack of response, Chrysalis tried again, only to further feed her disappointment. Her aura did nothing to remove it from the unicron.
The queen didn’t hesitate to escalate things further. She stomped over to the trapped pony and tried to physically yank the artifact off with her hoof, but the it didn’t shift, rather Trixie as a whole was yanked about. The slime that kept the pony trapped stretched almost a leg’s length as Chrysalis tried to force the amulet off. Her leg gave out first and Trixie was whiplashed back to the ground, where she let out a cry of pain. All the abuse had broken her front, and the proud unicorn cried in earnest.
“You cheated Enigma! You and your cronies!”
Unfortunately the pony’s mouth hadn’t been covered, even if most everything else had. Chrysalis didn’t have any composure herself, and screamed at the top of her very voluminous lungs.
“YOU WILL GIVE IT TO ME!”
In her fit the queen pulled the unicorn up by her horn, much to the pony’s audible discomfort. The slime melted away from Trixie’s eyes, so Chrysalis could stare right into them. When she had full line of sight, her eyes glowed venomously. She would figure out whatever inane trick this was, and tear it out of the pony, even if it mutilated her mind. Chrysalis couldn’t accept this power being in any hooves, except her own.
When she had attacked Shining Armor’s mind before, she had been subtle, she acted to not be noticed. This time she held no restraints and dug vicious and recklessly in as she could. Only to find additional barriers in her way.
For one, it felt extremely odd. Trixie’s egotistical mind had it’s own distinct signature, but it was surrounded by the influence of an obviously foreign source. Chrysalis knew which part of the mind she needed to gain complete control of, but the channels were blocked off. If the ponies mind was a treasure… then it was on the other side of a deep moat, one the queen struggled to figure how to cross at the moment.
Another growl of frustration rippled out of the changeling, not only did this obstinate amulet prove to be physically challenge, but possessed a fearsome mental protection as well. Who had made this? It didn’t matter, when Chrysalis found out she would beat them to mulch.
She played around with the barrier for several minutes, trying to probe for any weakness she could find, but the moat remained unflinching, despite her attempts to out maneuver it. The mental gymnastics added a whole new level of exhaustion to the process. Even the tenacity that the queen gained from her seething hatred began to quiver.
“What are you trying to do to Trixie!”
Chrysalis blinked, the pony’s voice yelled out at her in the mental spectrum. The queen responded quickly and contemptuously.
“I’m going to turn your mind inside out, and get everything I want!”
“Y-you’re in Trixie’s mind! H-how dare you! Get out! Get out or I’ll make you get out!”
To both her astonishment and glee the barrier that protected Trixie’s mind began to falter. At first the moat seemed resistant, but it gave way to its owner’s desires. It appeared that Trixie would unwittingly leave the subconscious defenses the amulet gave her, and try to wrestle out Chrysalis’s influence herself…
For the first time since her encounter with the eccentric show pony, she actually laughed. She called out in Trixie’s mind as she mocked.
“Then come and get me you pathetic whelp! Make me leave!”
The queen awaited eagerly like a trapdoor spider, hungry for the prey that thought it could force her away. The bait was hardly needed, since Trixie was all too eager to get back at her challenger, and unknowingly crossed the barriers that kept her safe. Mind control was one of the queen’s favorite spells, and a well practiced one at that.
“You will leave Trixie’s mind now! Then you’ll all leave ponyville! It is Trixie’s!”
Chrysalis belted out a heinous laugh, then did her quick and deadly work. The moat had filled, and the channels were open. It was token resistance at this point. The physical might of the amulet may have blocked her, and the mental defenses of the amulet would have kept her out, but the pony’s own ego and ignorance gave her the tools to finish this.
After Trixie opened up her mind, it was seized it in a strangle hold, and one dominating thought took over. The pony’s will power evaporated in moments, and her mind quickly became an echo chamber that said one thing.
“Release the amulet…”
At first she tried to defend herself, but in this realm she was ineffectual as a blind and deaf mouse navigating the Badlands. Physically her body trembled, but after a minute or it relaxed, and the thoughts that echoed endlessly in her mind manifested in her repeating them outloud.
“Release the amulet…”
Trixie repeated several times, and became more monotone with each reiteration, her will no longer her own. The commander of the ancient artifact was effectively hijacked, it’s current bearer exercised no will of her own.
The next moment there was a click, and the alicorn engraved necklace fell away, and bounced on the raw earth. As soon as the task was done Chrysalis leaned back and away from the pony that vexed her so. Trixie made no cry of pain as she snapped back down to the ground, she only continued to apathetically mutter “Release the amulet, Release the amulet.”
Tears rolled down Chrysalis’s cheeks, so glad was she that this was done. She began a hollow laugh. Her everything hurt. However, she now had a prize to claim. With the amulet free, the queen grabbed it in her green aura, and lifted it close.
Before she could grab it with a hoof, a crimson aura clashed with her green one, and the alicorn amulet froze where it was in the air.
“That is mine, thank you.”
The queen gasped at the sudden interruption, and she looked up to see the fanged smile of a over sized grey stallion.
“Sombra!”
I think Sombra should get his amulet back. I also think Screwball is going for her daddy. Discord. And Chrysalis will have a real fight on her hand.
edited down cause too long and ranting.
i have no diea where you are going with this story. it just becomes more confused each chapter. pacing man, pacing!
to put it in a less confrontational way.
this isn't working out. this story has a lot of potential, but so far it has done things that squander it. there was so many chances of interpersonal conflict yet that is all brushed over for the next thing.
its simply this. you did not have enough potential conflict at the beginning of the story so you have to continuously create new conflicts to sustain tension. there is no overarching thing, some tension or potential conflict, to sustain tension and let you focus on other things. because you have removed all potential of it, perhaps unintentionally but sitll, its been removed.
i will say it again. this story has potential. but it needs a rewrite up to at least the luna incident. you need to set up some sustained conflict, or someone behind the scenes. sombra is ill fit to paly this part.
How exactly is Sombra gonna get that Amulet? It's not like he can overpower Chrysalis.
Chrysalis using hypnotic suggestion to make Trixie remove the amulet was pretty clever
And now Sombra's going to use it to get the rematch we've been waiting for
6021662 except that it is too debatable honestly. the hwole brainwashing thing is iffy cause trixie was already being manipulated by the amulet.
more so, i do not htink it would work that way..... at all. the amulet coerces the mind to bgin with, and is only removed when the wearer wants it removed. it seems unlikely the amulet would be so easily fooled. it is a brainwashing device to begin with....... also this entire trixie situation has become pointless and that fireworks thing only existed so chrysalis could find out about the amulet, because forbid challenge....... she curb stomped her, no reason she wouldn't in the first place.
seriously dude. i want the story to be good, but then it pulls off crap like that. all because the writer got rid of far too much potential conflict and thus has to supplement it with action after action, regardless of how it comes up.
6021605
But, but, but I already got plans for Luna and peeps in the future, based off a number things that are happening right now,
and, and, and, there's so many things that still need addressing! And, and, and some other people might like the direction the story is going.
And sustained conflict? Bunch of mini conflicts? Twists, turns, and chapter cliff hangers! ? I, I, I just don't understand... Writing iz hard
K now, you want the story re-written starting from 25 k words ago? Heck you wanted the story written a different direction chapter 1. Guess I should just write a version where Luna escapes chapter 1, chrysalis loses to Sombra from the get go, and the story spends most of the time with chrysalis trying to get out of some prison while the rest of her army... Abandons her? Or I guess with precedent and world building I set up here, they'd suck her dry for being an incompetent dummy
Or I dunno, there's Leik a million different ways to go about this story, and I just have to pick a path and follow it. There's a point to several of the decisions I'm making... Believe it or not, and of course, not all of them are brilliant beyond belief. But a number of them will build off each other.
I don't think I've tried lying to anyone, my disclaimer from chapter one forwards was things were going forward via my interpretation. I hope that was disclaimer enough... I guess it wasn't... Lol
The fact you have fresh pissed off comments for every new chapter, that escalate in disappointment is actaully kind of entertaining in a way.
In fact I hope it gets you pissed enough that you decide to write a chrysalis wins story yourself. Also you wouldn't have to worry about me showing up to flame your comments section for petty revenge or any of that nonsense. I would just be genuinely interested to see how you would go about it in depth.
Because ya know, part of the whole premise of me attempting this shtick at a chrysalis wins story was that I haven't come across a story that really takes time with it. So ta da derp, I'm trying to take more time with it, -hands over some salt- and in case you forgot, here's some salt
I remember you mentioning that you were working on a story yourself. Would care to mention what the story topic is? Just curious.
6021906 ..... dude, you really are not taking you time with this story. more so than others, but not enough. you are not taking enough time to develop things. there is not enoguh world building here, not enough setting up potential conflicts or minor issues, letting potential events stew for a while. even sombra only left for like three chapters or something. a lot of the time conflicts are solved in the same chapter and there is no one around to act as a constant potential threat. even the mane six end up cpatured immediately after their escape.
equestria is more or less in a bow as we do not have any potential enemies to the changelings lurking about, and every time there is, that is resolved in less than a few chapters.
heck hlaf the time you seem to just do things specifically because o mention them. you resolve the hwole issue with luna by luna admitting she is an issue rather than taking advantage of that and using it as narrative material.
seriously the whole encounter with the mane six was pointless and even lazy. it ruins the potential of any mane six scheming and was pointless since trixie was easily overpowered the second encounter.
you could have done so much more with this. for example, have chrysalis imitate twilight sparkle in order to get into a fight with trixie. but have her lose cause lack of competence and the amulet. then have it be Zecora who advices chrysalis, and then you could ahve had it that chrysalis was using her magic to force back the amulet's influence enough for trixie to realize what it was doing to her.
and you would still have potential material for the mane six scheming, the sombra fight, and so on, and much more. there are many ways to go with this story, but that also means there re Bad ways to go with the story.
6021862
Not brainwashing. Hypnotic suggestion. Trixie is removing the amulet without realizing why.
We ALL want this story to be good. However, this is how arkolo wanted to write it.
6022051
Now it is once again time to address things from a reader's perspective so you can't say that the story is incomprehensible.
Applejack's willingness to give up info- not only has she seen that some changelings are nice (remember Shade? Thought so), but she has seen what changelings had to deal with. Furthermore, Chrysalis has only shown hostility towards those who try to fight her (and Blue blood, but can you blame her?) and has let everypony else go about their daily lives, while Trixie has sealed off a town, removed Pinkie's mouth, made two colts pull a wheel-less carriage, etc. Chryssie is by far the lesser evil here.
Sombra's insanity, revised- how many canon episodes of the show contained Sombra? Two, and they were set right in the middle of a period where the author has stated that he had no memories. Crystal corn could be one of his favorite foods for all we know. His current attire was already noted as being from a different era, so perhaps that was what ponies wore during his reign. With so little to go on, can you really say he is characterized 'wrong'?
Trixie Flawless Victory!- Sombra was just noted as having made the amulet. It is almost impossible (not to mention foolish) to enchant something to be stronger than yourself, so the amulet is likely weaker than Sombra. Celestia beat Sombra and Chrysalis beat her, so even if beating Sombra was a fluke, Trixie is doubly limited, since she doesn't have the power or the instinctual knowledge on how to use said power that Sombra did. Also, how can you complain about Chryssie winning too easily when no canon mlp villains have lasted more than two episodes?
Bypassing the amulet's failsafe- I've already mentioned the scope to which Chryssie's power dwarfs that of the amulet, but even if it didn't, the amulet takes a pony's darkest desires and turns them into a corrupting force similar to the Nightmare. By changing every desire Trixie has at that moment to 'take off the amulet', there would be nothing for it to latch onto to defend itself. The same trick would be useless on a former slave, since one desire would be freedom and the amulet could use that to fight against the mind control.
6022051 You've been doging the author since the 14th of April...
(see I'm using visuals here because I don't believe words are working)
6021906 This guy's a trip. I'm glad you find it amusing
6025588 so instead of figuring out a counter argument for my statements, you decided to post random quotes and act insulting.
that really does nothing to makes me think i am wrong or right about my thoughts dude. just makes you look like an asshole. leave the pop culture references to internet reviewers.
6025619 Oh, here's a good one.
6025619 Think you need to be more constructive rather than combative. You clearly are more combative than anything.
Though i do agree with you, when you are not being combative at least. This story has quite a few flaws and they seem to be getting more severe as time goes on.
Still you are not going to get anywhere dealing with it like you are in a sword fight with him. You don't have to make your statements heavy or aggressive here. All it will do is make him defensive.
6025713 ......maybe..... sigh.
Stop listening to lordofmyth, he doesn't know what he's talking about. The fight scene... well it wasn't much of a fight scene, it was just Chrysalis and her entire army blasting Trixie into the dust. Schadenfreude is the word of the day.