The begining, a good place to start.
“Happy Anniversary Sug!” Applejack said as she uncorked one of the bottles of sweet apple wine they'd made on one of their first ever dates.
“Thank you, this is very nice.” Fluttershy returned in her usual timid voice. With a clink of glasses they both sipped at the golden delicious and before they knew it a few hours had passed. They always spent a lot of time together, not usually drinking, but today was special. They’d been together for ten years now.
They had some time to fill before they were expected at the party Pinkie Pie was throwing for them. It was meant to be a surprise party but they’d learnt Pinkie would throw one every year on they’re anniversary. It was almost time to leave but before AJ could put words to that thought Fluttershy timidly said “Um, Applejack. I was thinking...”
“Yes Sug?”
“Oh nothing… it was just, nothing… isn’t about time we head to Pinkie’s party? Oh, I didn’t mean to ruin the surprise if you didn’t know, did you know?"
“O’course ah did Sug, don’t stress yurself out over it. Yeah, we should get going. Also, ah think we should bring a couple of bottles of this here wine with us." she said, raising her hoof and pointing towards some good wine, but not the stuff they'd made back then. "Ah’m pretty sure Pinkie’s still sober after that incident.” AJ’s mind returning to the good laugh she’d had almost guiltily at her friend’s expense when she heard what had happened.
After one of Pinkie’s more outrageous parties, apparently she had woken up in an awfully… 'reviling' position in the local fountain, in what Twilight had described as ‘A terrible way to wake up, getting an non-coessential colonic from the main water jet.’
She couldn’t help but let out a little snicker, even if she still felt a little guilty about doing so. She turned back to Fluttershy, about to say something but a single glance from her wife sent all that guilt right out the window. Well, most of it anyway. There had been something a bit odd the last few months and even though AJ had brought it up a few times she had never gotten a solid answer out of the sweet little thing. Tonight was meant to be special, their tenth anniversary and all, but she did feel a small twinge of guilt about her ulterior motives for tonight. She planned on getting Fluttershy drunk.
Fluttershy wasn’t usually a drinker but she indulged on occasion. Their anniversary was diffidently one of those occasions and as honest and lovely and trustworthy and perfect as AJ was to her, Fluttershy knew that her secret wasn’t going to stay secret for much longer. She didn't really want it to either. She knew AJ far too well to think that she was able to hide something from her, especially after how many times AJ had already brought it up. She knew what AJ was planning and though she was as nervous as the day she had first asked AJ out, Fluttershy knew she'd have to tell AJ eventually.
“I don’t think we should bring anything extra, what if she um… what if she takes offence or was hoping to surprise us?” Flutterhsy said, staring at AJ as she only could with her. With anypony else Fluttershy would’ve broken eye contact long ago and be nervously running her eyes anywhere else.
“Nonsense Sug. Pinkie knows we know, and besides, even if Pinkie’s still in one her moods about the sause, doesn’t mean the other girls wouldn’t appreciate it. And you know how Rainbo’ is when it comes to this stuff. She’d drink it outta the dirt. And quite frankly, ah think she proffers ta drink this stuff off o’ the ground” she said, hoping to lure a laugh from Flutterhsy who obliged, letting out a small squeaking giggle
“Ok, we’ll bring a bottle for each of the girls… and I um… I guess if Pinkie doesn’t want hers, we can just have it instead.” She said, thinking that a bit of liquid courage wouldn't hurt if she planned on telling AJ what she wanted to know. She was almost to transparent in wanting a reason to tell AJ the truth but quickly put that thought aside when AJ’s expression only smiled. “Well, let’s get going, shall we? It’s almost dusk and um, this cellar is um… starting to get a bit earry”
“Well if ya insist” AJ said, heading over to the racks to pull some other better stuff she pretended not to actually have for most of the year to the other girls. She made sure to get a particularly strong bottle to share with Flutterhsy. Her only hope was that she would remember anything the fair pegasus had told her the next morning.
~ ~
Twilight was still obsessing over the gift for AJ and Flutterhsy. Well not the gift so much as the card. She had written the card nearly one-hundred times now but just couldn’t get it right. It read. ‘Dear AppleShy’ she’d thought the nickname was clever ‘I wish you a very happy tenth anniversary and another ten on top of it. Your faithful friend, Twilight Sparkle’
“ARRGGGHHHH!!!!” she yelled as she magically tore the card apart. She couldn’t find the right words and she was running out of times and cards, she only had about 5 minutes… well, 4 minutes: 47 seconds, giving her exactly the 7 minutes: 32 seconds needed to get to Sugarcube Corner to make it there at precisely 8pm. She had never understood why somepony would want to be ‘fashionably late’ as Rarity had put it, having always prided herself on punctuality.
“I’m ready to go, have you finished that card yet?” came a voice from upstairs. Spike had grown a bit in the last years and was now about 50% bigger than he was when Twilight had first moved to Ponyville. Well…. 32.33, repeating of course, percent bigger than he had been. Dragons aged much slower than ponies did after all but he was now just a bit smaller than the average adult pony.
She had wondered a few times why she was given Spike as an assistant. No other student at the academy had been given one, though no other student was the Princess’s direct pupil. Even still, she almost felt that she was intentionally meant to fail the test to hatch the little dragon egg that day she was admitted and that it was a testament to her pure potential that she had. ‘Stop! Don’t go down that path of self-enflatterment, it always led to disaster.’ she thought, though would likely come back to this path of thought later. This night was meant to be about Fluttershy and AJ.
“Yeah Spike, I’m ready, we’ll head off in just a bit”
“So what did you end up putting on the card”
“Oh, it’s not important; they’ll know it’s from me anyway” she was the only person likely to get the couple a book after all.
“Us.” Spike interjected “The book is from us. You may’ve been the pony who thought of this book, but I was the one who had to get Cantalot library to order it and then convince them to sell it after they had had such a hard time getting it there in the first place.”
“Alright, from us, Spike, Now let’s get going” Twilight finished and headed towards the door, carrying the gift in her magic grasp. Spike just a few steps behind her. As they walked they to Sugercube Corner, they passed Rarity’s boutique and where surprised to see her walking out the door in her party dress. She had of course been obsessed with this ‘fashionably late’ thing.
“Rarity!” Spike yelled, despite how close she was to them, startling the white unicorn a little. Spike had long ago gotten over his little crush on her once she started seeing some stallions in serious relationships. He wouldn't deny that he still found her smoking hot though.
“Oh, hello there deary, and you too Twilight, I’m surprised to see you not at the party already”
“I’m on my way there now, I don’t want to be early. You’re heading there now?”
“Why yes, though I thought…” she stopped, it suddenly clicking in her head “oh, never mind Twi. Shall we be off?”
As they walked towards the party together, Twilight couldn’t help but wonder if she had missed something. When they arrived at Sugercube Corner they saw that a few ponies had already shown up. The party was nowhere near full swing but at least fifteen ponies where there already. Rarity could see the slight confusion in Twilight’s eyes and did her best to hold in the laugh that was rapidly growing within her.
As she went to knock on the door it swung open “TWILIGHT!!!” Pinkie yelled “I was worried something happened to you! You’re never ever late! What happened did your books need to be resorted? Did you lose track of time reading again? Was it one of ‘those’ books that you love? Oh, hey Rarity! Do you know why Twilight is late?”
“I have a suspicion but I… ‘those’ books? what exactly are ‘those’ books you mentioned?” Rarity asked seeming a bit too interested for Twilight’s liking.
“Pinkie! I’m not late, if anything I’m 27 seconds early. Did you move the starting time up without telling me? If so I can’t be held re-spon…si……ble……….” her last word dragging out as she looked past Pinkie to a clock on the wall that read 8:59 before ticking over to 9:00.
It hit her! She had forgotten daylight savings! Well… SHE hadn’t forgotten daylight savings, Pinkie had, but Twilight knew Pinkie would forget. She forgot that Pinkie forgot! She was an hour late! A FULL HOUR!!! Exactly one hour late… but still AN HOUR LATE! “I… well… and… savings…”
Pinkie poked the unconscious Twilight in the head a few times saying “Are you alright?” she had just feinted on the spot. “Well… looks like have one for the room already! Mind helping me carry her upstairs Rarity?” Pinkie said, trying to lift Twilight onto her back
“Of course." Rarity said, looking a bit worried "So… you have a room for the passed out? I didn’t think you would be throwing a party so… hard! At least not so soon after the… incident last month” Pinkie's more 'memoorable' events tended to lead her into a small shame spiral which would last for a few more months before she would even go near a drink again. Let alone plan 'heavy partying’ that Rarity assumed was the real cause of those events that happened to Pinkie, though no one was ever able to prove it. Maybe Rainbow Dash, but it was unlikely that she would squeal on her lover.
Pinkie turned to Spike and chirped “I have an announcement I’m making tonight!” then turned to Rarity “But don’t tell anypony that I’m telling them!”
Spike, seeing Pinkie struggling to lift Twilight picked her up, carrying her on his. Having gotten stronger in the last years as well as a small bit taller, though as he walked in the door Twilights hooves still dragged along the floor “Twilight really needs to chill out, this has to be the third time this month she’s passed out like this. Which room do I take her to?”
“Upstairs, the first rooms for passed out colts, second room’s for passed out fillies”
Rarity stared at Pinkie’s crudity for a moment, then remembering why she had needed to keep the colts that would pull pranks on their passed out friends away from the passed out fillies. Having first-hoof experience on the subject was one of the many reasons she’d given up on all relationships for almost four years now. “Third time this month you say? Normally I’d amount this to her over reactiveness but this seems… a bit excessive even for her. Perhaps she should see a doctor about this”
Before Spike could answer came a yell “Hey’a girls, we’re here!”
Followed by a less loud “Hello…” as Fluttershy and AJ entered the house.
Spike dropped Twilight and pulled the present out of her bag giving it to the couple saying “I got this for you two, it was really hard to get as well, took me ages and I’m sure you’ll love it.”
AJ thought nothing of seeing Twilight passed out… again… but Fluttershy was a bit more concerned seeing one of her friend in such an state in the middle of the room. “Is Twilight ok? She looks um…”
Spike looked back at her and sighed before picking her back up and some-what sarcastically saying it, though half-heartedly meaning it “So first room upstairs is for fillies right?”
“Yep!” Pinkie yelled as she ran off to get AJ and Fluttershy her present. Gone before Spike could say anything back but not back soon enough for Spike to re-try his joke. He had half a mind to actually put Twilight in the colt’s room but thought against it. Honestly, he'd been getting a little sick of Twilight recently but didn’t want to hurt her.
~ ~
Later that night, or maybe early the next morning, the party was in full swing by this point, Pinkie had pulled no punches; almost everypony in Ponyville was there. Rarity was a bit surprised when Sweetie Belle had shown up, with a date no less. A young stallion, who though was the same age as her sister, Rarity thought was too old for mere a twenty-one year filly. She and the other ‘Cutie Mark Crusaders’, she let out a small sigh remember how she missed them being so… energetic back as little foals, had become quite successful in their fields. Her sister had become a lawyer, finding her passion while she always negotiated her and her friends out of trouble they used to get into. She had gotten a Cutie Mark resembling a set of scales, representing justice.
Applebloom had gotten her Cutie Mark, it was of three yellow, five-pointed stars that almost looked like they were spinning as she walked, after Diamond Tiara had said one too many insults to Scootaloo, Applebloom had knocked her teeth in! She’d since become the top UFC fighter in Equestrai, at least in her lower-middle weight bracket. She was currently trying to bulk up in order to join the next weight class.
Scootaloo… well it didn’t really matter anymore… poor thing, they never did find her head.
Rarity laughed a little at herself thinking ‘Oh don’t make up such stories… it would be truly terrible is something like that had happened to poor Scootaloo.' She honestly didn’t quite know what happened to her, though Sweetie Belle had said she and her parents moved away. It had broken the darling’s heart at the time to loose such a dear friend.
It was nerve racking to see her younger sister here. This being the first time she was at a party she she came of drinking age. And while Rarity doubted it was really Sweetie Belle’s first drinks, she was worried due to the fact that she was here with a date. Finding the first chance to talk to the stallion in private she had gotten a bit a flustered and perhaps over done the ‘That’s my little sister’ speech just a little…
“If you do anything to her I will hunt you down like I hunted down that fox that ate my poor Opalessence! You don’t want to know what I did to that thing! Flutterhsy didn’t talk to me for months after seeing what I did!” she low-yelled at him, spraying spittle with almost every word. She then walked away, completely collected as if nothing had happened as the poor stallion stood there starring into the distance shaking. She would have to apologise to Sweetie Belle tomorrow because she didn’t see the stallion at all the rest of the night.
While she liked the idea of ‘Well obviously if he had been scared, he had impure intentions’ but she didn’t really believe that. She had become a bit of a prude since she had sworn off all relationships after certain events involving a string of bad stallions. And a few fillies, though she wouldn’t tell that part to anypony… at least while sober. The fought quickly went away as she saw Twilight coming down the stairs. Then they quickly came back to the ‘fillies’ and ‘sober’ part and that one… err… three or four nights but quickly pushed it out of her head walking up to Twilight.
“Darling! You’re awake!”
“Uh… I guess. What time is it?”
“Why it’s… 1:17.”
“Oh… so what was Pinkies announcements?” Twilight looked at Rarity who looked a little stunned
“She… wait… how did you know about the announcement? You where unconscious when she had told me.”
“I don’t know… I guess I must’ve dreamed it… Pinkie said something about making an announcements… then there was this spinning top and two kids… oh no…” Twilight’s expression changed from confused to concerned. “She’s not pregnant is she?”
“Oh, no darling she…” Ririty broke her speech turning to look at Pinkie; skolling the bottle of sweet apple wine that Rarity was pretty sure was meant to be hers. “well at least I hope not. She hasn’t made her announcement yet, unless you count that toast she gave Applejack and Fluttershy. She had diffidently said a few things… if it where anypony but Pinkie. What she said would’ve been enormous announcements. I think she’s been waiting for you to wake up before she said anything. Speaking of which darling, I’m a little worried about how you…”
“TWILIGHT!” Pinkie blasted into Twilight, hugging her for the only second time tonight. “Oh my gosh, you’re awake, you’ve been out for like all night! It’s gotta be almost morning by now!”
Twilight pulled away from the pink pony and was barely able to get a single word out “I wa…”
“EVERYPONY!!!” shouted Pinkie, into a megaphone she had pulled seemingly out of nowhere “I have a very special announcement to make!” The party almost grinded to a complete holt, then once Vinyl's stopped the music, not a single sound could be heard. An announcement from Pinkie Pie was always mind blowing, if not a little strange.
Rainbow Dash had walked up to Pinkie, shortly followed by AJ and Flutterhsy
“This super-duper-luper-kuper news is going to amaze you!” the girls knew it must be something big if she had used a third non-word after super instead of just two “Somepony you know is going to be a mummy!”
Rarity just sighed thinking about how Pinkie had just been seen drinking a gallon of wine.
Twilight though to herself ‘This again...’
All AJ thought was ‘I am so wasted…’
Fluttershy whimpered “How did she…” quickly looking at AJ hoping she hadn’t heard her say that. Seeing she was still intently looking at Pinkie Pie, she calmed down a little and looked back at Pinkie as well.
“That’s right!” Pinkie yelled, somehow making her own voice seem louder than the one coming out of the megaphone “Rainbow Dash is having a baby!”
Rainbow stepped up beside her and in a manor more suiting Flutterhys said “Um… I um… oh.” before she tried to hide behind her short mane.
The girls were stunned. They stood there, slack jawed. Fluttershy was the first to say anything. In a manor more fitting Dash, she rushed up hugging Dash yelling “Oh my gosh, I’m so happy for you!” before catching up with herself and ducking down from the spot light, her usual shyness returning to her quickly.
Twilight whispered to Rarity “Well at least it’s not what we thought.” she said as Rarity let out a covered laugh.
AJ walked up to Dash and put a hoof on her shoulder opened her mouth to say something “…” then quickly ran to the nearest bathroom. “BBWWAAARGGGHH!!!!” they wouldn’t see her again the rest of the night. “BBWWAAARGGGHH!!!!”
Fluttershy went in after her as Twilight and Rarity walked up to Dash and Pinkie
“So um, how did… I mean…” Twilight stumbled on her words, not sure quite how to ask the question. “you having a baby. It’s just…” Twilight was cut off.
“We thought you were gay.” Rarity said, Twilight looked at her with stunned silence at Rairty’s bluntness.
This was starting to get awkward. Luckily Pinkie rang in “Isn’t this great? Ace and Ven are going be big sisters!”
Twilight wasn’t just joking herself when she had though ‘This again…’ Pinkie and Dash had been a couple for almost four years now, possibly even as long as AJ and Fluttershy in secret. They had pretty much been forced to admit it to the girls nine months before they both had a child each. Of course the gestation period for ponies is thirteen months and they had started showing after two so they had obviously been ‘partying’ together for some time before then. Pinkie was known for throwing some of the best parties, and at the best parties certain things happened. They claimed that the two kids where intentional and that the father was the same pony, a pegasus name ‘Prism Slash’ that Twilight suspected was a lie because, well, she had read that book too. It was after all, from Twilight’s library, her ‘personal’ library. She had never said anything though.
Both children where pegasus. Dash’s daughter, Ace Swift was dark blue with a puffy purple mane. Pinkie’s daughter, Ventura, no one was quite sure what the name meant, most people just chalked it up to Pinkie being Pinkie, was light-ish-Red with mane that was rainbow coloured but not as distinctly as her other-mother’s, as the colours faded into each other instead of being separated. The kids almost looked as if Pinkie and Dash where the father of each other’s child which, though impossible, Twilight didn’t put the idea down when Pinkie was involved.
Dash, finally finding her voice “It’s not a big deal, really… I just… look, uh, I’m tried, I think I’ll head off to bed.” she smiled awkwardly for a few seconds, hoping her friends couldn’t tell she was lying or at least wouldn’t not say anything, before she turned and talked upstairs.
Twilight thought about the situation and was about to say something as a loud shout form upstairs got their attention “What th-oh my gosh! S-s-sorry!!” came Dash’s voice before she walked back down stairs “Um… the bedrooms a bit busy right now, I’ll… be in the basement” she said, looking at Twilight and then at Rarity before heading down stairs.
Twilight, thinking nothing of the look Dash had given them was about to say something again before Rarity interrupted “So, this is interesting… you think she’ll keep it?”
“RARTY!!!” Twilight shouted! “How could you say such a thing?”
“Oh please, a mare has a right to choose. Besides, I doubt Dash would do that anyway.” turning from her low tuned whisper with Twilight to Pinkie she said aloud “Pinkie, I think we need to talk. Do you know who the father is?”
“Oh, well it’s either Duccio, Seafoam, Dr. Whooves, Filthy Rich, Big Macintosh, or that unicorn guy or that other unicorn guy, or that earth pony, or Derpy… wait, it can only be a stallion can’t it? Hmm… in that case it was definitely Seafoam, maybe…”
Twilight looked to the bathroom “Big Mac?” thankful Applejack hadn’t been there to hear that part.
“Yeah, he was one of the guys that night. At least I think it was him, he was big and red and tasted like apples!” Pinkie exclaimed without a hint of guilt or shame.
Rarity was trying to hold in a hysterical laugh at this point and was failing at it. Twilight was blushing very brightly, she could hear murmurs in the crowd, including a very loud “How could you Duccio!?” followed by a loud clop as the distraught mare had likely slapped him across the muzzle.
~ ~
The party died down in the following hour and a few more where added to the first and second rooms upstairs. Seafoam had tried to talk to Pinkie but quickly learned he was ‘off the hook’ and cheered up quite a large amount. At such a reaction Twilight had quickly magically levitated Seafoam and threw him as far as she could out the front door.
Another hour later and the only ponies left in the room where Twilight, Rarity and Applebloom. Pinkie had headed down into the basement with Rainbow, Vinyl was still here pulling down her set-up and Applebloom and Rarity where arguing about something that way she used to with Applejack. Meaning most likely Rarity was in the wrong.
While Rarity thought of herself as a prude, Twilight though of her as, well… more of a bitch. She had slowly changed in the last eight years, since her romantic nature had led her into disaster after disaster of a relationship. From the second date with Prince Blueblood up until he ended up coming out of the closet during the following year’s Grand Galloping Gala, leaving Rarity to believe that she had wasted more than a year of her life. From there it had gone downhill at an even faster pace. Then there was the fashion designer who only used her to excel his own works, until he was eventual caught cheating with some gryphon hooker.
Then the incident at one of Pinkies parties where she had awoken in Pinkie's pass-out room to find a stallion doing ‘unspeakable things’ to her. That’s when she started her ‘experimentation’. Twilight blushed a little thinking of just skipping over those events as she had been involved a few times and wasn’t entirely proud of it. Over the years Pinkie's parties had definitely put her and her friends in some awkward situations.
The last straw of Rarity’s decent was a proud, rich, hansom, unicorn stallion, named Elusive, or ‘Eli’. She had gone out with him for almost four years when it finally happened. One day, the door was suddenly broken from the hinges of the boutique as six Royal Guards stormed in. Rarity was panicked and tried to hide, however they went straight for Eli, capturing him and putting him in shackles. As it had turned out, he had been caught with explicate pictures of little Sweetie Belle, Applebloom and a few other young foals. It was at this point Rarity heart had exploded. Not only had she felt as if all of her romantic dreams had been crushed for a final time, she felt she had also hurt her darling sister and that was too much for her. It had been four years but the pain was still there.
Suddenly the argument raging behind Twilight between Rarity and Applebloom came to a holt. Twilight thanked Celestia for the break in the noise when a loud “Ooooooo!....." came from Applebloom. She turned to see what had lured the shock, or was it surprise from her friend’s sister?
Standing there on the stairs, clearly embarrassed was Sweetie Belle. Then just in front of her was Spike. Rarity still hadn’t said anything as Applebloom had walked over to her friend and said “Did you two do what I think you did!?”
Twilight didn’t know what this was. Then it hit her… she felt bad sad and happy and a little confused… then remembered the look that Rainbow Dash had given her and Rarity before heading into the basement. For some reason she just couldn’t hold it in anymore. She knew it wasn’t the right response but just couldn’t help herself
“BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! AHAHAHAH!!! OH!!! OH MY GOSH!!! HA HA HA!!! Esk… esk-esk… HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!...” she started to choke-laugh, not being able to breath between involuntary laughing convolutions. She had heard the shock in Rainbow’s voice earlier, then seen the look on her face as she came down the stairs. She just couldn’t stop laughing…
Spike stood there. Hurt. His oldest friend, who he’d known all his life, was laughing at him for… for… he didn’t know why. Was the idea of him and Sweetie Belle that hilarious to her? He looked to Sweetie Belle but she was too busy half looking at Twilight and half talking to Applebloom. Spike heard Applebloom say something about “…if he ever did that ah’d kick his teeth in! You gotta…” he stopped listening, missing the love for her friend that Applebloom was really conveying and instead interpreted it as if she was angry with him. He walked down the stairs and past a still speechless Rarity and a Twilight who could’ve been in serious trouble with how she was choking on her own laughs. But Spike didn’t care. He reached the door, turned to say good bye but decided not to. A moment ago he was happy, now he was going the walk of shame home.
As he walked along the street home his thoughts here confused. Sweetie Belle was nice and sweet but Rarity and Twlight had both seemed shocked by it. He was nice guy, why where they so clearly against this? And Applebloom had threatened him. He sighed before quietly saying to himself “But… I really liked her.”
~ ~
Applebloom was talking away still when she noticed that something was wrong. She been able to see Twilight in the corner of her eye for the whole conversation but something wasn’t quite right… Twilight was still choking. “Twilight, are you… Twilight!” she ran over to her, she wasn’t breathing! “Rarity!”
Rarity was still in shock. She was still stunned, literally, from what happened.
Sweetie Belle ran over to Twilight and with a light from her horn lifted her into a position that would let her breath easier. She still wasn’t breathing though. Sweetie Belle strained as she tried to lift her. They quickly got a hand from Vinyl who had been sleeping under her table setup, woken up by the loud shouting. “C’mon we gotta get her to the hospital!” she yelled whipping the door open and magically carrying Twilight out.
Rarity’s mind wasn’t working. All she could think about was that Sweetie Belle had been hurt again. She slowly, very slowly, walked to the stairs where she'd first seen them and just sat there. Slowly, she started to cry. “Why… her?...” was the last thing she said as she cried herself to sleep on the stairs.
~ ~
Applejack thought she had finally gotten it all out of her system and was sitting in the empty bathtub with Flutterhsy by her side, nuzzling against her neck. “I’m sorry I messed up our night Sug.” her accent for some reason gone in her drunken state, as it usually did. AJ wasn’t sure if she was crying or if her eyes where still watering from throwing-up.
Fluttershy pulled back from AJ’s neck “Oh no, it wasn’t that bad, I ,I got to spend time with you alone at least.”
AJ smiled, she knew she had ruined this night and she loved Fluttershy for what she had said. Had always said. No matter what AJ did Flutterhsy couldn’t stay mad at her, it was physically impossible for her. “That’s awfully sweet of you, Sug. But I know I messed this up. I… I have a confession. There’s just been something bugging me the last few months… I feel you’ve been keeping something from me and I was… I was planning on getting you all liquored up and trying to get you to spill the beans.”
“Oh, I know… I, I went along with it and I was about to… and then Pinkie’s announcement… I was… and then this happened. I’m sorry, if I had said something sooner…”
“That’s enough Sug, this isn’t your fault.” she did feel a little as if it where her fault for once, seeing as she had just admitted she was hiding something and that Fluttershy even knew she was trying to get her to fess-up, but she would never say it. She just hoped her face didn’t betray her brain.
“Oh…”
AJ knew her face said what she didn’t want to “I’m sorry Sug. But please, what… what did you want to tell me?”
“I … I … I want…” Fluttershy stopped. She looked awful, as if in pain
“It’s alright Sug, I promise I won’t be mad, there’s nothing you could say that would change that”
Flutterhsy took a deep breath. Then another and another and finally…
“I want a Baby.”
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Ace Swift Ventura...... no way in hell that's an accident.
Well this was hilarious. Not gonna lie was really hoping for some Sparity when I read about Rarity's issues and Spike still being single but damn man way to write the twists. And ya know what I'm with Spike on this fuck um all who are they to judge him. Hell they don't even know what happened up their could of just been a make out session and they all go jumping to conclusions.
I hope in part of this you have Rarity try to confront Spike and bitch um out and Spike just bores into her about how he's chased after her all these years, watched her pick up all these other guys, hoped he could bring her back from her ban on relationships, and how he finally just lets go and she still won't let him be happy. (I feel so traitorous to my Sparity nature at the moment but she effectively managed to piss me off in this chapter. That's quite a hat tip to your writing... I won't deny that i still want the Sparity ending that I don't foresee coming but still she needs to get whats coming to her.)
Well, this is certainly interesting. I came in with high hopes, and was not disappointed. Although, that could've been better. I must say, though, you have potential. I most thoroughly enjoyed this, despite a lot of things. I'll just list them off: It sometimes didn't flow well, and it's also a lot of telling not showing.
That's the problem that plagued mine. It was certainly enjoyable, but just didn't exactly show.
"Rarity’s mind wasn’t working. All she could think about was that Sweetie Belle had been hurt again. She slowly, very slowly, walked to the stairs where she had first seen her sister and just sat there and started to cry. “Why… her?...” was the last thing she said as she cried herself to sleep on the stairs."
could be turned into
"Rarity's mind had ceased functioning already, her only thoughts being that Sweetie Bell was hurt again. Slowly trotting to the stairs her sister was at, she sat there. "Why.... her...?" She said, beginning to tear up. Leaning down to the ground, she stopped trying to keep herself up, and silently cried herself to sleep."
That's certainly not the best by any means, but that's just one way to do it. You could also try sprucing up your vocabulary, not that having a simple one is bad, some of the best one's I've read have had a simple one, but it would help with the whole "show" aspect. There were a lot of typographical and grammar errors, but those could be fixed by finding an editorpony. All the rest of my criticisms come from personal reasons.
All in all a fun story, funny at times, sad at others. Thumbs up, tracking, and looking forward to reading chapter 2. Also, sorry for the wall of text, and if it seems....bad....sorry. I was just trying to help
but really, those were all constructive critisms intended to help you write better in the future. I seriously like it.
i certainly loved it it was cute in fact there is one two parts that need to be looked at.
I am totally cool with the Spike and Sweetie Belle thing. Plus, I have to agree with Path_of_cloud, all these botched jumped to conclusions!