Letter know
It was Rarity’s birthday. She turned sixteen today… and what she’d been hoping wouldn’t happen, did. She’d feared it since she’d worked out the rough timing nearly ten months ago. Every two months and three weeks her father would lose control. Whether it was anger, pity or mindless laughter it never ended well. She’d hoped that it wouldn’t fall on today, that it would hit some other time during the weakish-long window she expected it. But of course it had to happen today.
It wasn’t the worst of what could’ve happened. He was sad; it was better than anger but by the end of the day he’d still hit her mother. Another welt she’d not even try to cover up, pretending it was a badge of honour for loving somepony who couldn’t control himself. His magibetes was just an excuse though. If he truly loved his family he would never do this to them.
Rarity always feared what he was going to do next time. Pity was manageable, mindless laughter and most of the other rampant emotions that would build up where quite easy to deal with. But anger… when those moods came he scared her. He’s broken her mother's muzzle and had given Rarity a bright shining black eye once. The worst part was… that was in one of the lesser rages he’d done that to her. Her mother had taken far worst in the past. Far, far worse...
Rarity’s mother. Pearl, always took the brunt of the beatings, but as Rarity grew older, as she started trying to stop him hitting her, she’d start to get beaten too. Rarity’s only solace during those times was that he’d yet to touch Sweetie Belle. But she feared that would change once she told them what she had decided.
A week after her birthday, his father had, as usual, begged for his wife’s forgiveness and apologized profusely. Rarity didn’t buy a word of it but her mother seemed to sop it up and take his every word as if the bastard had actually meant it. They sat around the table eating breakfast: a healthy lot of hay-bacon strips, Pearl always insisted on eating healthy. Sweetie Belle had gotten up first that morning and as usual woke up everypony else shortly after. Rarity hated it but she was sure she probably did the same when she was eight.
“Mother, Father, Sweetie Belle. I have some news.”
“Oh and what might that be aye?” Pearl replied.
“I’ve put a lot of thought into this. I’m sixteen now and… I’m moving out.” Rarity was nervous about their reactions. She’d been planning this for months. She just couldn’t live with her father anymore. He was fine most of the time but when he lost control, Rarity feared for herself.
“What!?” yelled her father. This soon after his last ‘emotional expulsion’ as the doctors called it, it was the calmest he would be for the next few months and he still was angry. “Where do you think you’ll live? Who’ll pay the bills? How much thought have you really put into this? You can’t just live with some random pony you meet. You can move out when I say you can, when I see where you’ll live and know how you’ll pay for your living costs!”
He was simply concerned about her well-being, but that’s not how Rarity saw it. He was just controlling her, making her stay home. But she had thought this through, she knew he would say something like this and she had it all planned out. Even he wouldn’t be able to argue with what she’d come up with. “I’m going to live at the boutique, with Mareci Beaucoup.”
“No Sis, don’t move in with her, she’s mean and she’s like a hundred years old!” Sweetie Belle yelled. Rarity put a hoof to her sister’s month. At the time she was just that annoying little sibling that seemed to always get her way once her parents got involved. And it annoyed the hay out of her.
“As I was saying. I’ve spoken with her; she has two rooms above the boutique. She lives in one; I can live in the other. I’ve worked there for years now, you know her well, and you know she has my best interest in mind. And yes, as Sweetie Belle mentioned, she is indeed old and simply put; she’s starting to need some help with herself. This isn’t about me, it’s about her. She needs somepony to start looking after her. If it weren’t for me she would’ve already had to close her Caracal Boutique years ago.”
“Rarity…” her father started before being cut off by his wife.
“You should do it Rarity; if it’s what you really want to do. You’ve got a generous heart and if you really want to help Mareci, you should.”
“Thank you Mother. It means a lot to me that you’d approve. What do you say Father?”
“I… I don’t want you leaving this place! You grew up here, why do you wanna leave?”
“Do you really have to ask why?” Rarity snapped
“And Rarity just stood up and walked away… she hated living with us and couldn’t wait to get out of there.” Sweetie Belle told Spike. They were still in the bathroom. The water still running in the sink behind them, the steam fogging up the mirror. As much as Sweetie Belle kept trying to look at her reflection in it, she could only really make out a blurry mess now. And in a way, it was an accurate reflection.
“Sweetie Belle, none of that, nothing you said makes me think that she hated you. She just wanted to be herself and live on her own. I mean you did the same didn’t you? You moved in with Sil and Die.”
“That, that’s different… Die needed me.”
“It sounded like that Mareci pony needed Rarity. This only happened less than a year before me and Twilight move here right? But I never even met her. What happened?”
~ ~
Rarity had been right… it pained her to think that but she had been right. Mareci had grown old. She passed barely five months after Rarity had moved in with her. She hadn’t known about any of Mareci family… and that made it hurt so much more when she learnt Mareci was her father’s mother…
She’d adopted him when they escaped from the Neighzi’s in Prance back during the great war. Her father had ditched his jewnicorn roots and as such, Rarity never knew anything about this. He may have been a bad father but he wasn’t neglectful, and this explained why he’d let Rarity work at her shop since she was only eight, two full years before she'd even learnt her special talent. Rarity had always just assumed she was an old family friend.
He’d never seemed that close to Mareci and barely ever spoke with her, even when he would come to pick up Rarity from the boutique when she would work late. But it had hit him hard… what was worse though, even with all this sadness, his next emotional expulsion was coming any day now. All Rarity could do was stay at her gran-mother’s boutique and wait for it to happen.
But that’s why she had moved out to begin with. To get away from him when it happened. She’d been worried for her mother during the first after she had moved out, but as luck would have it, it was a happy, joyous outburst and he had gone out of his way to get reservations to get them seats at one of the most expensive, glamorous restaurants in Ponyville. He had even invited her as well. It almost made Rarity feel guilty… almost.
He’d thought it was stupid the day after but his wallet could take the punch. He’d at least take pride in know that his family was happy for once after one of his episodes. Even when he hadn’t touched anypony during them, they had almost always scared Rarity. Sweetie Belle however didn’t really know anything about it. Rarity had always tried to keep it as far away from her little sister as possible. But that distance hurt more than anything else.
She’d always have to scare Sweetie Belle off. Call her something horrible, threaten to destroy one of her toys if she didn’t leave… she was sure her sister hated her for it. Sweetie Belle would have no idea how much doing that hurt her emotionally… and physically. Now that Rarity was gone though, Sweetie Belle had said she missed her. That small glimmer of family love that shown through and helped Rarity tell herself that Sweetie belle still loved her.
Now that she was gone though, it was only a matter of time before Sweetie Belle would see her father for what he was and what he did. She’d be in the house when she’d hear her mother yelp from being struck, or hear him shouting at her and want to know what was happening. The shelter Rarity had made to protect her sister would disappear soon enough.
Another week had passed after Mareci’s death and she’d left the boutique to Rarity in her will:
‘I leave my home and lively hood, The Caracal Boutique, to Rarity Licious Belle. You’ve worked for me there for more than half your young life and I’m sure you’d have worked for me for even longer had I stayed with you. I know with you, it will be in good hooves and that you’ll keep my store running, like it has been for nearly fifty years now. Knowing that will make my rest all the more peaceful.’
Rarity had cried when she’d read that. Nothing else had struck her as hard. Not even her passing itself. She had great expectations to live up to and she had every intention to do so. She’d keep this shop running for another fifty years herself! And maybe one day she too would pass it on to her gran-child. Not that royalty would need to work if she married that stud Prince Blueblood… but she would work none the less.
There was a sudden knock on the door of her boutique, most likely another well-wisher, come to offer their condolences. But… it was quite late and most everypony had spoken with them at the wake. Who would be here so late? “Who is it?” Rarity yelled from the stairs as she came down them. She’d been sitting at the top of them looking over Mareci’s... HER boutique.
“It’s me!” came Sweetie Belle’s muffled voice through the door. Rarity opened the door as the blue glow encircled it. Sweetie Belle came inside. She looked at Rarity who had stopped mid stride and was just staring at her. “Have you seen Dad lately? He hasn’t been home for a few days now. Mum’s getting worried and…”
“What in Celestia’s name happened to you!?” Rarity yelled. She knew exactly what had happened… she’d feared it for so long. Sweetie Belle had a slight darkness around her left eye and cut across the same cheek. Her father had finally taken it out on her.
“Oh, um… it’s nothing, Mum said he didn’t mean to do it. She also told me not to come here. But I’m scared Sis… he’s been gone for three days and I think he might be hurt.”
Rarity wrapped her hooves around Sweetie Belle, hugging her tightly. She’d feared this for so long… she didn’t care if her father was missing or hurt. He could rot in hell for all she cared. All she’d done to protect her sister… still she’d protected her this long and that was something. Right? “Please… Sweetie Belle, if you ever see him like he was when he did that to you… run. Just run away! I, I can’t stand to see you hurt like this.”
“But Mum said…”
“Please! Never let him hurt you again!...”
~ ~
Her father had shown up nearly a week after what had happened. He claimed that he felt so bad about what he had done…. he spent two days just drinking non-stop, some cheap crap called Sweet Apple Cider that Rarity had never heard of. He’d then spent the next few days just wondering all over the place, staying drunk enough to keep wondering. He’d finally sobered-up and awoke in Manehatton, a full week afterwards. How he’d gotten there he had no idea but he got the first train he could back to Ponyville. He begged forgiveness and as always his wife gave it without second thought. And to Rarity’s dismay… so did Sweetie Belle. Apparently she listened to her mother more than her sister… and Rarity couldn’t blame her. She knew Sweetie Belle hated her.
“That’s why, Twilight…” Rarity said, as she drank another glass of Sweet Apple Cider. “That’s why I told her he was dead. He doesn’t deserve to be her father. And my mother’s no better! She just let him do it! Now please, for the hundredth time. Burn that letter!”
“No Rarity…” Twilight said, still sitting next to Rarity. She was crying… quite strongly too, which seemed weird to Rarity. Even though what she pictured in her head was quite vivid and heart-wrenching, what she’d actually said and managed to describe was rather… lacking in comparison. Twilight was slightly tipsy, having had a few drinks as well. Though Rarity was way ahead of her. She’d nearly finished her second bottle of cider. This was only the ‘cheap crappy stuff’ as Rarity called it and not very strong.
“Please Twilight… I can’t let Sweetie Belle know…”
“What can’t I know Rarity?” called Sweetie Belle as she enter the room. Spike was by her side, his claw over her shoulder… did this mean…
“Sweetie Belle… are you two together once more?”
Sweetie Belle turned to Spike. He was nervous about what she was going to say. He thought they were, he hoped they were. Because they were! But whether or not Sweetie Belle would tell that to Rarity still worried him after what she’d just told him, about how Rarity protected her sister. After what had just happened to her again with a stallion. Even if it would hurt him, if Sweetie Belle chose not to tell Rarity he would go with it. He just wanted to make Sweetie Belle happy.
Sweetie Belle leaned in and kissed Spike. It was only a peck on the cheek but it meant o so much more to Spike. “Yes, Rarity, we are.” she said not looking at Rarity, just staring at Spike instead. Spike turned to face her, her big beautiful eyes looking right at him. He leant in as well and gave her a long kiss on the lips. He really loved this mare.
“I love you Sweetie Belle.” he said, not even remembering Twilight and Rarity where in the room. The only pony that was in the room to him was her.
Sweetie Belle felt the same way. But she turned back to Rarity. “I don’t know if I should ask but… what don’t you want me to know. You, you just told me before that I hurt you by keeping a secret about Flash Dance and Elusive from you… I don’t want you too…”
“He’s alive!” Twilight burst out. She quickly covered her mouth with a hoof as Rarity glared at her. She'd never been good at keeping secrets. “Oops...” Twilight hadn’t said who ‘he’ was and luckily for Rarity, Sweetie Belle didn’t know who ‘he’ was either.
“Who’s she talking about Rarity? Who’s still alive?”
“Are, are you sure you want to know?”
“I think so… but if you don’t want to tell me, I understand.”
“It’s… he’s… your… no our…” she’d finally found the right word to word with. “Our father is still alive.”
“WHAT?! Since when has… but he, how could, Mum… is Mum alive too?”
“No. She passed nearly four years ago. Perhaps, nearly five now...”
“She was alive too? Why wouldn’t you tell me!? Why WOULD you tell me they died!?”
“You know why! You know what he did! I saved you from him!”
“I know but… Mum… no, even Dad! Why wouldn’t you… he’s still alive? Where!?”
“That doesn’t matter, you’ll never see him! Neither of us will! What he did to you!”
“I don’t care what he did to me, I can forgive him!”
“Do you even know what he did!?”
“Of course I do! I know it was wrong but you didn’t have to tell me they died!”
“You know what he did now but back then would you have? If I told you I was taking you from them and you’d never see either again would you have understood why? No! I had to do it this way!”
“I don’t care, I… I thought he was dead and he isn’t… I want to see him. I don’t care what he did! I can forgive him…”
“Well I can’t! I can’t ever forgive him for what he did to you! He… he…”
“You don’t want to tell them… fine, I will. He…”
Rarity’s life had gotten so much better in the last year! She’d become great friends with those five ponies. Of course she’d been good friends with Fluttershy for years now, ever since the nervous filly had come to the boutique soon after moving to Ponyville. Rarity had met Rainbow Dash through Fluttershy and been to a few of Pinkie Pie’s parties but hadn’t really talked to the two very much. She hadn’t even met Applejack before Twilight had come to Ponyville.
Having these great friends was just one of the things that made her life so much better. Her boutique had been noticed by the ponies of high-end society and her business was through the roof. Her only regret was that Mareci had never seen it happen but Rarity was sure she would be proud of her.
And though it still pained her somewhat to have left, her father’s condition had gotten better. It still happened on schedule, every two months, three weeks, but they weren’t as bad as they used to be. Or so she though. They were just as bad, but she didn’t live there any more, she no longer had a front row view to see it happen, what she saw now was just what everypony else saw. A hidden cover of what really happened. But in actuality, it had gotten far worse.
Out of all her friends, Fluttershy was still the only pony who had met her parents but she wouldn’t be much help tonight. Fluttershy had always hated Nightmare Night. She’d always just hide in her cottage and hope nopony would knock and pretend not to be home if they did. It was one of the main things that Rarity and Fluttershy had in common. While Rarity wasn’t scared, she had never been allowed out on the night and as such didn’t really get into the holiday.
Sweetie Belle wasn’t allowed out tonight either, which was normally fine but of course, tonight had to fall within the weakish of expected time for his magibetic outburst and for some reason, if that week had a holiday, or event of some kind it would always happen then. It almost seemed scripted out. Like the grand plot to some opera that had gone on for far too long now... FAR too long!
Rarity had made a habit of visiting her parents during these times, even after she’d moved out, trying to make sure Sweetie Belle was safe. For the most part she had been successful, her sister hadn’t been beaten since that first time. At least, as far as Rarity knew. Her mother had always told Rarity to keep quiet about it. She could only assume that she’d told Sweetie Belle to do the same. She just couldn’t understand why her mother didn’t just leave him. She could easily claim full custody of Sweetie Belle if that was what she feared perhaps.
Rarity was almost at her old home when she heard loud screaming… which was completely normal for tonight. She continued on, passing all sorts of costumes. While she didn’t really care for the holiday, making an outfit had always been the one thing she’d missed about skipping this night. As it was she'd spent the last week making Rainbow Dash's Shadowbolt costume and consulting for Twilight's deisgn... though accurate: not quite appealing to her styles. Eventually she arrived at her parent’s house. She knocked before trying to enter. The door was clocked but she had a key.
She held back a scream herself as she entered. Her mother was lying on the floor of the living room. Rarity ran over to her… she was breathing, just unconscious. Clearly she’d need struck… much harder than normal. Rarity couldn’t help by whimper at her mother’s abuse. Her face bore marks of multiple hits, so much worse than Rarity had ever seen her father do before. “Please…” she whispered to her mother, even though she knew she couldn’t hear her. “Please tell me you never told Sweetie Belle to cover it up too… that she’d listened to me, and that she'd ran….”
The hope was shattered. She heard a small cry coming from upstairs. She feared the worst but couldn’t help but wish that maybe her father wasn’t here. That Sweetie Belle was hiding and crying somewhere in the house. The crying she could hear didn’t seem pained, but more scared. If he was still here she could protect her still! She ran upstairs, making as little sound as possible so to surprise her father if he was here.
The crying was coming from Sweetie Belle’s room. Rarity used her magic and completely broke the lock, not even checking if it had been latched or not. Her father was there, standing over her sister. Her face was pained but unmarked, he hadn’t hit her. Then she noticed… what he’d done was worse. Far worse… they were in the middle of the room, a small smear of blood on the floor below her.
He was mounting her.
“Fa… Father…” Rarity whispered, horrified! She’d never imagined he could do this. He’d never done anything like this to her. Rarity had always thought him back whenever he would strike her. She was weaker than him and always lost but she still always fought back… Sweetie Belle wouldn’t… she’d be easy for him…
The next thing she knew, her father was on the ground, Rarity’s horn pressed hard against his throat. “You will leave here now…! If I ever see you again, I WILL kill you, you pathetic worm.”
“Rarity I…”
“I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!” she yelled as she pressed her horn harder against his neck. It started to draw blood. If he didn’t leave this instant she was going to kill him. Right here, right now. Right… in front of Sweetie Belle… she couldn’t do that. She pulled herself away from him but made sure she was between him and her sister. “Leave. Now.”
She didn’t give him a choice or even a chance to respond as her horn glowed and he was thrown through the window. It shattered over him and he fell from the second story. She didn’t care how hurt he would be, she didn’t even care if it would kill him and honestly, hoped it would. She’d never even lifted anything bigger than a roll of fabric before now and didn’t even know she could. If she tried to lift something as big as him any other time she doubted she'd have even been able to. None of that mattered though… she’d failed.
Her sister had been hurt in a way that would never heal. He’d stolen her innocence. His own daughter… Rarity began to cry. As she turned towards Sweetie Belle, who was staring back at her. She looked confused, she wasn’t hurt, she didn’t even know what he had done. She even said “Rarity… what was he…?”
“Shhh… please, don’t say anything. Don’t tell Mother, don’t tell anypony.” Rarity said, and she hated herself for it. After everything she’d told Sweetie Belle, she was now telling her to do something that would protect that monster. But it wasn’t for him, it was for her. She didn’t want anypony to know she’d failed to protect Sweetie Belle.
All she could do was wrap her hooves around her sister and hold her in that hug for the rest of the night. She cried for hours, well into the early morning until she eventually fell asleep. Sweetie Belle didn’t know why, but she knew her sister was hurt… and that maybe, so was she.
“He raped me…”
~ ~
Her father was gone. He’d been gone for almost a month now. Rarity was happy about this at the very least. Sweetie Belle didn’t really know what he had done to her, Rarity wanted to keep it that way. She’d understand one day but Rarity just couldn’t bare to tell her what her father had really done. It was The. Worst. Possible. Thing. he could ever do.
It was a normal day and Rarity was spending it sowing and filling a few of her orders from the boutique. She was ahead of what she needed to make as she usually was. She had a tendency to randomly go gallivanting off with her friends doing this or that, leaving the store empty for some times up to a full week. If she wasn’t always ahead of her orders she would surely never get them filled. And that baby blue sapphire gown that was ordered? That would take days just in itself.
There was a knock on her door, as expected her friends needed her for something and she likely wouldn’t get any more work done today. But it was worth it, she loved being with them all. It was likely either Twilight or Dash knocking, they seemed to get in the most of the trouble amongst her friends. She took a guess, deciding it was Twilight and bet herself a dessert tonight that it was.
She opened the door. And immediately slammed it shut. He’d finally returned… she had hoped her father would stay away forever. “I meant what I said… Magnum.” she wouldn’t even address him as ‘Father’ anymore. He wasn’t her father…
“Rarity, we need to talk…” Rarity turned back to the door and opened it… she hadn’t expected her mother to be there as well. “May we come in?” Rarity’s mother asked.
“You may… he may not.”
“Please, Rarity, it’s important. Just give us five minutes, we’ll be gone... soon...” the way she spoke, her tone told Rarity... something. She didn’t know what something was to her words but... was she… sad?
Rarity stepped aside and gestured for them to come in. Her fath… Magnum, had still yet to say a word. The two took a seat at a table, moment after Rarity joined them. Nopony said anything for a few moments after, until Magnum pulled out a piece or parchment and passed it to Rarity. “What is this?” she asked coldly.
Magnum finally spoke. “It’s a custody agreement. We want you to have Sweetie Belle.”
“But… I… why can’t Mother take her? Why are… so you’re leaving?”
“We’re both leaving. I have a cousin back in Prance. We’re moving away from you and Sweetie Belle. I don’t deserve to be around her.”
“But… Mother, you’re going with him? Why!? After what he’s done to you, to me and to Sweetie Belle most of all! How can you stay with this monster…? you stupid mule!”
“Rarity… I love him, you don’t understand how much I…”
“YOU STUPID RUTTING MULE!!!” Rarity yelled! “Go! Sweetie Belle’s better off without you too! It’s your fault as much as it is his! You let him do this! You!… you… if you had just left that pathetic stallion! I hate them all! All stallions!”
Rarity’s mother didn’t try to defend herself. Rarity was right… but she just didn’t understand. She hurt so much for what had happened to her daughters but she loved him… and she feared Rarity would never feel that way now. She’d been hurt in a way that even Sweetie Belle hadn’t. Her faith in love was dead. “Te, tell Sweetie Belle… that we’re dead… tell her, we’re going on holidays… and that we didn’t return because we died… I don’t want her to know, she can’t know.”
“But Mother… it, it’s not really your fault, you can stay! It’s just… him…”
“No… this is how it has to be. If you still love me, and I can’t blame you if you don’t, tell her we’re dead. It’s better than telling her that we left her willingly… isn’t it?”
“Two day later. They dropped you off… you hated it… you wanted to stay with Applebloom… it was the time we partook in the Sisterhood Social… and then afterwards… when I felt that you were happy living with me, that you would want to live with me… I told you. And we cried together that night.”
“I want to see him.” Sweetie Belle said. “I want to see him again.”
“No. You’ll never see him! I don’t care if you hate me but I’ll never let you see him!”
“Rarity…”
“RARITY!!!” yelled Twilight as she slapped her! “You think that’s best for her!? It’s not! She’s a grown mare and she can make her own choice! You even said you still loved your mother and that she died a few years ago! You don’t get to make that choice for her! And Sweetie Belle! I’m trying not to take sides and so I have to ask you as well, do you really want to see him? With what he did to you!”
“I do… I miss him. To find out he’s not dead… I’m happy. Please Rarity, at least let me write him a letter, telling him....”
“But I…” Rarity stuttered… what she’d just told them, what had just happened. How could Twilight think striking her would go over? No… it was just to make a point, Twilight didn’t hate her too, it had just been a bad judgement call from her. “I… I’ll let you send him a letter. But I know you, I’m reading it before you send it. Don’t ask him to come see us. I just… I couldn’t take seeing him.”
“Thank you. And… Rarity, I don’t hate you… I love you.”
~ ~
They’d finally gotten there. Cantalot Royal Hospital. It was nearly the end of visiting hours and Fluttershy, Applejack and Applebloom would only be able to see Dash for maybe a few minutes. It didn’t matter though; they just wanted to see their friend again. And just as much, see a real smile on Pinkie’s face for the first time in the longest time.
As they rounded the last corner, only walking, not galloping despite their enthusiasm, this was a hospital after all, they saw Pinkie sitting in a chair just out front of what was, last time they were here, Dash’s room. Her hair was flat, and she was bent over. A small spasm occurred every few seconds as she sobbed. She was clearly crying heavily into her folded hooves.
“Pi, Pinkie, what’s wrong?” asked Fluttershy who quickly flew over to her, ahead of the others when she saw the distraught filly. Something had obviously happened to Dash since she’d woken up. Maybe she’d gone back into the coma. Or maybe something worse…
“It’s Dashie…” Pinkie sobbed, loudly. It confirmed what Fluttershy feared. Something was wrong with Dash and for Pinkie to be like this, it was something major. “She… she…”
“She doesn’t remember me…”
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Poor Pinkie and Rainbow Dash. They never catch a break in this story. Hopefully things will get better soon.