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Neither of them had ever seen her like this. Both of them had seen her cry before. Applejack when she’d asked Dash out during that whole AppleDash disaster their friend had cooked up. Something about even AJ not believing her. Fluttershy had seen her shed more than just a tear back in flight school, back before they’d gotten their Cutie Marks and bullies used to call her ‘Rainbow Crash’. But this was different. Much different.
Dash lay on her back, crying loudly, as a slightly battered-looking Octavia hugged her. Dash had taken a few swings at Octavia for trying to give her that hug but had finally given up. Elliot also now DID have a new tooth to ad to her necklace. The immediate sight made both Fluttershy and Applejack question whether they’d have been better off staying with Rarity.
Dash clearly needed them though. She’d never admit it though of course...
“Help.” Dash squeaked as she turned to look at them. Tears running down the side of her face. She’d pushed Pinkie away, she wouldn’t do the same to anypony else. She shuddered at that moment as a contraption hit. She’d made a few jokes earlier about her emotional state being worse than the physical pain. But now it actually was.
“Y-yeah, of course! Whad’ya need RD?” Applejack said as she instantly bolted over to her friend's side, Fluttershy quickly behind her.
“Everything…”
Dash was just broken at this point. Nothing was right and nothing could fix it. AJ and Fluttershy couldn’t do anything more than Octavia and Elliot could. And even if Pinkie came back so what? She’d run away when Dash needed her. It had been Pinkie’s idea to get married anyway, so why did Dash asking it seem to scare her so much?
Maybe it was because it was Dash’s way of saying she’d given up on living past this birth and Pinkie couldn’t handle it. Maybe it was something completely insane that only made sense to Pinkie. Or maybe Pinkie just didn’t really love Dash… it had to be that one. If she truly loved her then there was nothing, absolutely nothing, more important than staying by Dash’s side.
“So um, we told everypony, well mostly everypony, about you going into labour. Silverspoon might come by sometime, maybe. I’m not too sure who else might. Things are a little hectic right now.” Fluttershy said, not knowing if Dash had really heard any of it. She didn’t respond to it. She was looking at Fluttershy sure, but she was really just looking right through her. Dash’s eyes where glazed over with tears she was trying, and failing, to hold back. They almost looked as glassy as Lucy’s.
Eventually it seemed to sink in “I don’t want the kids to see me like this. I don’t want…” Dash sobbed hard mid-sentence at the thought of Ace and Ven. “I don’t want Silverspoon here.” she looked at, down at her stomach and mumbled “I don’t want you here either” even Dash didn’t know if she had said it to AJ and Fluttershy or to her foal.
“Now c’mon Rainbow, ain’t like you’ve never seen me cryin’.” AJ said, although Dash had never actually had seen her crying. “Well, maybe ya didn’t see it, but it weren’t too long ago. I broke down and cried my eyes out in fronta Twilight an’ ma brother when Fluttershy left me fer Pinkie.” AJ didn’t know it but that was the. Worst. Possible. Thing! She could’ve said.
All it did was remind Dash that Pinkie had abandoned her. She went back to whatever lower level she’d pulled herself up from when they arrived and started sobbing and crying anew. A few short moments passed before Dash composed herself enough to speak. “If, you want ta help me… g-get Octavia off me t-to start with.” her would-have-been sister-in-law had been holding Dash at her side even as she stopped and restarted crying.
Fluttershy approach before AJ could. She put a hoof on Octavia’s shoulder and faced Dash “I’ll get her to stop hugging you. But only so I can take her place.” she as Octavia let go of her as-far-as-she-was-concerned her already-sister-in-law-if-not-a-full-sister. Fluttershy slowly took her place. AJ came to the other side of Dash and sat down. She didn’t join the hug but she did put a hoof on Dash’s shoulder.
“Now ah know you ain’t one ta cry over being in pain, Rainbow. So tell me; what’s goin’ on?” AJ asked. She could see Octavia out of the corner of her eye as she stepped back to her sister’s side. But she couldn’t see Octavia cringe at her asking that question. It took Dash a moment but she muttered a response. “Ah’m sorry, what where that?”
“She just left.” Dash repeated. “I scared her off… somehow. I didn’t think I could. I thought she’d always have my back. But she doesn’t.”
“Who? Pinkie Pie?” AJ said as she looked around. She hadn’t thought of it until now but there was a distinct lack of Pinkie here. Fluttershy seemed to notice it as well. “What happened? She couldn’ta just left. Where’d she go?” AJ ask, completely intent on going and getting her, where ever she was.
Dash ignored the question though. “I’m going to die.” Dash stated calmly.
“Say what now Sugercube?”
“I’m going to die having this foal."
“You’re talkin’ non-sense RD. Dying giving birth, sure it happens but it’s rare as all hay. You ain’t got nothing ta worr…” AJ stopped talking. The look and Dash’s face. Did she… “RD…? Do you, want to die?”
“It’s that I want to… it's just that, I don’t care if I live or not.”
“You’re not going to die Rainbow Dash.” Fluttershy spoke up. “What makes you think you would?”
“Why don’t you ask the doctor?” Dash said, more agitated than she had been just before as she pointed a hoof towards Elliot. “She’s done such a good job lying to Pinkie about it. Giving her false hope. That’s why she’s not here! I told her that I was scared! I told her and she got scared! Because this dumb bitch here has been telling her, filling Pinkie’s head with all this crap! Really Elliot, what chance do you give me of living through this now?!”
Dash’s heart was racing. Not a good thing and from how flushed her face was from yelling and crying, Elliot would say it wasn’t good either. Elliot didn’t know whether she’d live or die. She didn’t have some fancy mathematic percentage like they’d been able to give her back at Cantalot hospital. All she had was “I don’t know. But… if I had to guess, I’d have to say you’re more likely not to survive this.”
And there was Dash’s last hopes shredded. She’d been clinging to the thought that she was just being paranoid. That what Elliot had been telling her and Pinkie was true. But Dash had known all of it had been hopeful optimism and not real medical advice. When it had been proper medical advice it had always been bad, with a grim under-tone. Much like she had just given.
“Damn my heart… damn it so hard!” Dash said as she scrunched her eyes in both anger and pain as another contraction blast through her. ‘Broken heart syndrome’ or some medical name for it. AJ and Fluttershy had heard the diagnosis months back and now understood why this was happening. And also understood there wasn’t a thing they could do about it. Only offer their support.
“I’m here for you Rainbow Dash. And so is Applejack. And so are Octavia and Elliot. We’re all here for you.” Fluttershy said. She’d feared this back when Dash had had her heart attack and gone into the coma. That fear returned now, but she wouldn’t let her friend see it. She didn’t need more than what she already had. “It may have been a bad day so far, but I know it will end a good day for all of us. By the end of it, you'll have your foal and you'll raise it for the rest of your long, long life.”
“If that’s what you’re hoping then it’s just going to get worse…” Dash sighed. She didn’t want to break the news to her friends now. They’d find out sooner or later that she wasn’t keeping the foal. But she was more worried about something else. Her relationship with Pinkie was over, but she still feared for her friend’s relationship and dreaded what had happened to make today bad for them. The argument they’d had over Applebloom, Dash had to wonder if that had been the trouble. “What happened today to make it a bad day?”
“Oh, it’s nothing. Just some, uh, family issues with Rarity and Sweetie Belle.”
“Oh, that all? Good.” Dash sighed. One worry aside, only 99 problems left. “I saw that creeper Elusive. He still causing chak with them?” all she knew about him still was that he was at Ace and Ven’s party for some reason.
“No, it doesn’t have anything to do with him. And he didn’t do that, remember. Not to Sweetie Belle. Not him at least.”
“I uh, don’t remember but I’ll take your wor…” ‘Not him’ ‘family issues’. “uh… Fluttershy. Do you remember somepony named ‘Magnum’ by any chance?” Dash asked, taking a shot in the dark. Fluttershy’s face froze. That was a yes. If she thought Elusive was a creeper then she thought… she actually thought higher of Rarity’s father. What he’d done was despicable but at least he had a common decency to exile himself for doing it! He was a perv, pedofilly, spouse and child abuser who abandoned his children and Celestia knows what else.
“H-how did you know about him?”
“Does it matter how I know? What the hell is he-UGH!” Dash recoiled as a wave of pain came from her loins, which though everypony where being polite about it, where still very wide open and on display, which ran through Dash’s head but was quickly pushed aside. For about the twelfth time in the last few hours. “… what the hell is he doing back here?!”
“He’s trying to apologise. Is that so bad?” Fluttershy asked. Dash had to think about it. No, it wasn’t. Like she’d said, or thought rather, he’d been so ashamed of what he did he’d practically banished himself so he clearly regretted his mistake. But that wasn’t justification. As a victim of foal-abuse herself this was a pressing matter for Dash. But that was a story for another time.
“Maybe you should go see them, make sure Sweetie Belle and Rarity are alright.”
“Now don’t you worry none ‘bout them.” AJ said. It was nice to hear Dash concerned about her friends so, but admittedly a little out of character for her. Especially with the situation she had herself in now. “We’ve already seen ‘em taday. Matter-o’-fact, we were bringin’ Elliot and Octavia here when we ran inta them. S’why we took so long.”
Dash didn’t really expect them to leave, she’d only said it to get them to go. She didn’t want them here. Hell, she didn’t even want Octavia and Elliot here. While that wasn’t any different from earlier before Pinkie had left and last night when Fluttershy had arrived, she also now didn’t want Pinkie Pie there. She didn’t want anypony with her. “Look, AJ, what I’m trying to say is, go help them. They need it more than I do.”
“Have ta disagree with ya there. They got things covered and I get the feeling they don’t really want us involved.” Really?... you get that feeling from them and not from Dash? Some ponies…
“Fine, what I’m really trying to say is, I don’t want you here either. I don’t want you be here when I… to be here to… to see me die. Covered in blood and shit and after-birth-gak with a crying foal tugging at the mother that never even wanted it.” and with those blunt, painful, and somewhat graphic images, Fluttershy released her hug. And Applejack knew exactly why.
Fluttershy didn’t care about the gore that was child birth. She’d delivered enough calf, kids, ewes and chicks to understand and be used to it. But AJ knew it was the last part that had hit her hardest. That Dash didn’t want something she’d been ‘gifted with’ as Fluttershy would say, that Fluttershy herself couldn’t be.
It’s not that Fluttershy hated Dash for saying it, she’d known for a while, Rarity had said she and Dash had discussed removing it. She didn’t hate Dash, but she resented her. “You don’t mean that Dash. You don’t really want us to leave do you?”
Dash didn’t answer. Even if she said yes they’d most likely stay. There was only one way to make her point clear. “Go away. Get out of my house. Please, I’m asking nicely but if I have to ask again, it won't be so nice. Leave me alone. I want to die in piece.” the first half sounded much harsher than she meant it to, though the second half not nearly enough. There was a moment of silence before “I’ll throw you out if I have to. Don’t think I can’t. And do you really want to make me try?”
She had every intention of following through on that, but luckily she didn’t have to as Octavia stepped in. “I think it’s best you two leave. Me also.” Dash let out a rather loud yelp as another contraction sent pain through her. It caused them all pause for a moment but Dash returned to her resolved facial expression after it passed, glaring slightly at them. “Elliot?” she said, beckoning over her sister to come in close.
Elliot came into whispering distance. “Yes?”
“Stay with her. I’ll be back. Please, don’t, don’t let her die. I don’t know if she’s given up, or if a pony’s will really does play a role in survival but…”
“I won’t let anything happen to her. Don’t sweat it.” she replied before moving back a few steps. “See you all." she waved as AJ, Fluttershy and her sister left. She wasn’t so sure about having Octavia leave as well but she didn’t want to argue it. Not now, not in front of Dash. They where finally gone, well most of them at least. But barely a minute passed before the worst possible thing happened.
Pinkie returned. The front door swung open, though slowly surprisingly, and Pinkie hopped in. Bouncing all the way as if she was as happy as she always was. Completely oblivious to the atmosphere inside Sugercube Corner. “I’m back Dashie, and I’m ready to go!”
Dash just stared. The tears she’d pushed aside when her friends had been here, they didn’t come back instantly but she felt them building fast as her eyes watered. “Where the hell have you been?!” Elliot half-yelled before Dash could even think about saying anything.
“Oh, well Dashie asked me to marry her and I thought ‘didn’t I already ask her to marry me?’ but then she said she wanted to get married now so I had to super-duper fast make sure everything arranged and set to go and most importantly I make sure I invited all the ponies to the wedding, well technical all the pony: singular to the wedding because I Pinkie Promised Seafoam he would be at our wedding and while I’d love to have invited everypony in Ponyville and a few others from Cantalot and Cloudsdale and a few of the small villages around here I know I didn’t have the time for that and that Dash wouldn’t want so many ponies looking at her private place and so I only invited Seafoam because like I said I Pinkie Promised that he’d be at our wedding so I did that and now I’m back and we can get married just like you wanted Dashie!” and then then Pinkie breathed.
Elliot didn’t get half of that Pinkie had said it so fast but from what she heard, she figured that the seafoam-coloured stallion behind Pinkie must be Seafoam and that Pinkie DID want to get married after all, she just had to make it official, get the paper work and perhaps a minister or notary. “So you…” Elliot was cut off by Dash.
“That’s why you left me? To bring that perv here? Because of some stupid promise you made moments after you were about to cheat on me AGAIN!?!?!?” Dash shouted. Completely outraged that Pinkie had left her over something so trivial. Maybe, maybe if she had at least said some of this BEFORE leaving Dash could’ve accepted it. But now? No…
“It’s not just promise, it was a Pinkie Promise and it’s not stupid, it’s important.”
“You left me… you left me just too… I thought you… I don’t, I don’t care if it was a… it’s stupid. You’re stupid! You’re a stupid, self-centred idiot who thinks a stupid promise to some stupid stallion is more im-important than your Celestia damn wife… NO! Not wife! Your, your… y-your whatever the hell I am to you, if anything at all! Nothing! I’m your nothing! Because you’re n-nothing to me! I can’t… I can’t even… I don’t…”
Dash tried not to cry, to finish what she’d been saying but she couldn’t hold it back any longer. She’d burst into tears mid-way through her speech already and had lost half of her words to it. She was completely flabbergasted by this point. Pinkie tried to say something “But Dashi…”
“Get out of my house.” she said angrily, with a hint of pain at the end of it. And Seafoam, already not liking what was going on, complied immediately, turning and leaving with a quick pace. Pinkie tried to stop him but before she could Dash added “You too.”
“What?”
“Get out of my house Pinkie…”
“But I…”
“Get out!”
“But I technically own the place, it’s my house.” Pinkie said, clarifying more than arguing. Because that was TOTALLY the point of what Dash had just said.
“Just get the hell out of this house!” Dash yelled, and then screamed and collapsed back as either a contraction or just a very saw muscle from laying on her back for so long sent waves of burning fiery hurtiness through her. Pinkie ran up to her side but Dash slapped her away. She hadn’t thought about it, she’d just done it and back-hoofed her square across the jaw. “Get out.”
And if Dash hadn’t really driven Pinkie away before, she had now.
~ ~
“I’m sorry Magnum. I don’t think she’s coming.” Elusive said. They’d been waiting at the boutique for hours now. Spike had heard his story. His and his son’s. Spikes soon-to-be step brothers. Well not too soon but… you get the point.
The first few hours Spike had said it was possible Sweetie Belle was still unconscious. He’d seen her knock herself out while learning how to teleport a few times. It scared him the first two but not so much the third. At least not at first but when the third time she’d stayed pass out for four hours, he started to get scared. She woke up however completely fine and proceeded to do the same again two days later, but only for eight minutes that time. In total now she’d passed out from teleporting six times now.
However, seems she’d only ever been out for so long once, and that it was usually only a few minutes to half an hour, Spike stipulated that she wasn’t coming after a few hours had passed. And finally Elusive had had to agree with him. “I think I should head back home.” Spike reasoned. “If she’s not coming she’ll be waiting for me there.”
Spike had learnt all about Sweetie Belle’s father, and Magnum had learnt all about him. He barely remembered the dragon as that purple friend of Rarity’s pet; how he’d moved up in the world since then. “Yes, if you have to. Just, tell her I…”
“I won’t do that Magnum. If she’s not coming, I’m not going to try change her mind.” Spike didn’t like Magnum. And Magnum couldn’t blame him. He’d come here expected some level of compassion from Sweetie Belle and none from Rarity. Instead getting the exact opposite. And Elusive? He was surprised but very glad to have him here now too.
“Au revoir, Spike” Lucy said as he thought the dragon was leaving. He’d taken to speaking with him in Prench.
“Au revoir, Lucy. Baritone.” He replied. A thought occurred to him though. “Vous savez, peut-être vous deux voulez venir avec moi. Je ne peux pas faire de promesses, mais je pense Sweetie Belle voudrait vous voir. Pour vous répondre en tant que ses frères.” (You know, maybe you two would like to come with me. I can’t make any promises, but I think Sweetie Belle would like to see you. To meet you as a her brothers)
“Are you sure about that?” Magnum asked. He liked the idea, but didn’t want to get his children’s hopes up.
“No, I’m not. I don’t know if she would want to meet them. But I don’t think she wouldn’t. Will you let them come?” Spike asked. He remembered Sweetie Belle saying she missed her mother and thought she would regret missing a chance to meet her brothers as well. He wouldn’t force her to face Magnum but he would make her face her brothers. It was for the best of all of them really and Sweetie Belle would see that.
“Of course I’ll let them go. And boys, as Spike said. Don’t try to change her mind about me. If she doesn’t want to be here, she doesn’t have to. Do you understand?”
“Yes father.” both replied in unison. Spike was briefly reminded of Ace and Ven and freaked out a little that he’d just volunteered to take care of them. But it quickly passed. Magnum, Rarity and Elusive had brought all of their stuff over to the boutique from the hotel they’d been staying at. Even if they had paid for the next week there at that place in advance… generosity, am I right? And now Spike had Lucy and Baritone grab some of their stuff, even if only for at least one night with him and Sweetie Belle. Surprisingly for such young kids, that included a tooth brush each. Spike had to admit that Magnum was quite a good father for the most part.
The three left, leaving just Elusive and Magnum at the boutique. They’d said all they had to say to each other by this point so that sat mostly in silence. Elusive offered him a drink at one point and Magnum had jokingly said this wasn’t Elusive's home to make the offer. He laughed to make it clear he was joking right before he knew the cold stair was about to come.
Elusive made them both a mug of coffee. Strong as Magnum had requested. Elusive thought about making a ‘I like my coffee like your women, tall and dark’ but decided against it seem he was dating this stallion’s daughter. And she was the whitest thing since, well… himself. Not long passed before the heard the door jangle open. Both turned expecting to see Spike returning to get something but instead found Rarity and… “Sweetie Belle.” Magnum said with both apprehension and glee.
Sweetie Belle walked in alongside Rarity, looking as shy and nervous as her first day of school so long ago. “H-hello Dad.” she meekly replied. And as far as Rarity and Elusive where concerned this was great progress. Mainly because prior to this, beating him to a pulp… anything could be considered progress.
Magnum stood up an approached his daughters. Standing not meter away from the pair, Sweetie Belle lunged at him! And hugged him. He was stunned for a moment before he put a hoof over her shoulder in turn. She had both front legs around him and her face buried into his neck and shortly after he could feel the tears against his coat.
He leaned his head gently against hers and she tightened her grasp on him. It was already tight but she made it more so. It was actually starting to hurt him a bit. But he wasn’t going to say anything. She started before he could anyway as she raised a hoof from him and whispered, though a loud whisper, “Bastard…” and slammed her hoof back down again his back.
It didn’t hurt much and he knew why she’d been hugging him so strongly. She was hugging him and hurting him as one act. He couldn’t blame her… then wondered how many times he’d used that same phrase in the last two days.
This went on for a minute or so and it did start to hurt quite a bit by the end of it, but finally Sweetie Belle stopped. She stopped crying too. She said it softly, her father could hear it but Rarity standing right next to her couldn’t “I missed you Dad.” before she pulled away from him.
“I missed you too.” he said with a smile. He really had. He received a hoof to the chest. More of a strong poke than a strike but it made him cough slightly as she walked past time. Rarity followed shortly behind as they moved towards the chairs and couch. However as Rarity took a seat next to Elusive, Sweetie Belle kept on walking.
She rounded a corner to the back of the shop, the home part of the store and went to her old room. She was in there for a few minutes before she came back out. Magnum had planned to go after her but Rarity had stopped him and told him to take a seat with them.
It was just over a minute before Sweetie Belle returned, much sooner than Rarity had expected. “Rarity, my old stuff, where’d the rest that isn’t in the cupboard go?” she asked solemnly as she rounded the corner back into the main room.
“What you didn’t take with you when you left, it should all be in there. There’re a few things up in the attic as well though.” Rarity replied. Sweetie Belle had taken almost all her stuff with her when she’d moved in with Sil and Die but had left most of her old toys and the like. However, “Sweetie Belle, might this be what you were looking for here?” Rarity added as she indicated to the coffee table.
Sweetie Belle followed her pointing hoof and indeed it was. Her mother’s old photo album. Sweetie Belle had kept it and cherished it for quite some time after her parents ‘passing’ and had even kept adding photos to it for a good number of years. She regretted not getting pictures of herself and Rarity after the sister-hooves social, where they’d really started to like each other. Most of them were of Sweetie Belle and Rarity together but others were of Rarity and her friends, Sweetie Belle and hers or either sister by themselves. Rarity had gotten it out last night and looked over it with Elusive and her father.
Near the end of the album they’d noticed one thing: the very last picture had Elusive in it. It was from a month or two before that incident where he’d found some other photos of Sweetie Belle’s. They told Magnum what happened, both what she’d thought had happened and then what she’d found out later, up unto they recently starting seeing one another just not so long ago.
Sweetie Belle levitated the book over to her instead of coming over to them and opened it up. She looked quickly through the first twenty-odd pages, giving enough time to look at each picture within but not really examine it in detail. Until she found the picture she’d been looking for. Of herself, Rarity, Maresi, her father and her mother. All of their family. Well, all that where alive at the time. It was the last picture of their grandmother and the only one that had them all in it.
Sweetie Belle then sent it back towards the others and slowly followed behind it. She took a seat next to Rarity, which was as far away from her father as she could be while sitting with them. “I missed you. Both of you. A lot. I just don’t see why you had to go.”
“Sometimes I can’t either, but we ha…”
“Don’t give me that crap!” Sweetie Belle interrupted. She was fed up with hearing that same explanation from Rarity, Spike and now the pony who’d made the decision to dump her on her sister. “You didn’t have to, you chose to! And even if you had to, why did Mom?”
Daril quickly put much more merit into what Spike had told him, that she wasn’t angry at him, she was angry she lost her mother. “You’re right, it was my choice. And she made the same one I did. I had to leave. I didn’t deserve to stay after what I did.”
“So you dumped me with Rarity… I get that, I really do. But why…” Sweetie Belle wanted to start crying but instead just yelled “WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE ME THINK YOU WHERE DEAD!?!?!?” she coughed afterwards, having hurt her throat. She coughed a few more times and then started to cry. Not from sadness like usual but just from natural reflex to choking.
Rarity stood up and walked off while saying “It’s alright Sweetie Belle, I’ll get you some water.” she paused before adding “Would anypony like anything as well?” to which neither of them replied. She should’ve expected that really. Never the less she could smell coffee and see their mostly empty mugs. She fancied a cup herself, so grabbed their mugs with her magic, she might as well freshen both their cups up as while she was at it.
Rarity returned from the kitchen, first with her sister’s glass of water and placed it on the table beside her. Sweetie Belle acknowledged it but didn’t take it as Rarity returned to make her coffee. Sweetie Belle had stopped coughing but her throat still hurt. Magnum didn’t really see what other option there had been. He couldn’t stand to put her through any more than he already had, and had already done worse to Rarity. Well, worse apart form one thing but according to Spike she also didn’t truly care about that. “I had…”
Her voice was meek but so was Magnum’s trying to speak his defence, but even though it was quiet, Sweetie Belle’s interruption was still enough to stop him speaking. “You could’ve left me with Rarity. But not been dead. You could’ve given me to her and still been around for the good times. It was only one day every three months. You didn’t have to leave… even if you think you did. You didn’t. And Mom especially didn’t!”
If Sweetie Belle had been who she was now back then she would’ve been right. But there was no way to explain why they couldn’t take care of her to a little filly who’d just want to be with her parents. She was smart and she probably knew that, so it didn’t bear mentioning. He simply sighed. “If that had really been an option, your mother and I, we would’ve…”
“YOU would’ve.” Sweetie Belle stated, correcting what he had said. “Even if YOU had to, which you didn’t, she didn’t. Mom chose to go. She chose to go with you over staying with me!”
“I know you miss her, I do too.”
“It’s not that… well it is but, if you were dead… and she were here now. Then I’d be mad at her and missing you. It’s not just her. It’s both of you! Both of you chose to leave. But only one of you… I lost so much time with my parents that I didn’t have to. Where are Ace and Ven?… I mean, I mean where are Baritone and Lucy? And… Lucy’s real name is Elusive?” Sweetie Belle asked. She’d stumbled over her words as she accidently said the wrong names at first.
“Your fiancé took them back to your place. He thought you’d be there instead of returning here.” Magnum answered. “He was insistent that you’d want to meet, or re-meet them.”
“I do, that’s why I asked. But, Elusive?”
“Yes?” Elusive replied before instantly realising what she meant and felt like an idiot.
“Well, as you can guess, he was named after Elusive here. I never heard much about you two, but I heard the more important things. And I heard that Elusive was very much a part of Rarity’s life. So when your mother told me she was pregnant, we decided that is it was a filly we’d name her ‘Rarity’, and if a colt, ‘Elusive’.”
“Oh, I guess that make’s sense… but, but why not after me instead of Rarity?” Sweetie Belle asked, clearly jealous that her sister got such a… ‘honourable mention’ in her father’s new life. As if they’d played favourites with them and she’d lost again. ‘Again’ even though there wasn’t really a first time.
“Because Baritone was already named after you. When you were still inside your mother, we planned your names and if you had been a colt, well, you get the idea.” Magnum replied. It didn’t quite lift the sting she’d felt from her accusation that he’d favoured Rarity over her but it did make her feel better in a different way.
That was until she thought of something. “Baritone. He’s thirteen isn’t he?”
“Yes, and Elusive is five.” Magnum said with pride.
“And you left us fourteen years ago… was he, was he conceived the night you raped me?” those words dug deeper and hit harder than any blow he’d ever received. A tear instantly shed from his eye as she asked it and if he hadn’t regained control of himself quickly after it happened, many more tears would’ve joined it. He wanted so much to believe her fiancé when he’d said she didn’t care about that. But that just wasn’t how it worked. He felt it was something he could never truly make up to her for.
“Yes, I believe so. I think she discovered she was with foal on the boat to Prance and she told me the day we arrived. I don’t think I realised it until a few months later, but yes. It was that night.”
“So, she didn’t know before she left? Do you, do you think if she had, she would’ve stayed with us instead of going with you?” she asked.
Magnum knew what she wanted to hear. That if her mother had known she was going to give Sweetie Belle a little brother she would’ve stayed, but “No. I believe she would’ve followed me regardless.”
“She loved you…” Sweetie Belles said flatly in acknowledgement to a simple truth about her parents.
“Yes. And I loved her. I still do and forever will.”
“She loved you. More than she loved me.”
“N-no. That’s not what I meant.”
“But it’s true. She loved you more than she loved me. More than she loved Rarity. That’s why she could just abandon us.”
“She didn’t abandon you!”
“Then what did she do?!” Magnum couldn’t answer that. Not right away.
“She did what she thought was best. As I did.”
“I just don’t get it. Why she loved you... I mean, I get why she loved you, but I don’t know how she could love you more. You beat her. For years! And she knew you would keep doing it. Why would she stay when she found out she was having another child…”
“She…” Magnum tried to speak but Sweetie Belle would let him. Her voice hurt as she started to yell again. Not as loud as before, but nearly as loud as she could now.
“Or why you deserved such a wonderful mare. I just don’t understand it! How could she choose you over her daughters?! You’re a horrible pony!”
“I’m not… I’m…”
“Why?! Why did she stay with you?! Why in Equestria would she want such a horrible, wife beating, child abusing, child abandoning stallion like y…”
“Because Rarity wasn’t her first child!” Magnum yelled as loud as he could. It was the one thing he held onto deep in his heart that told him he wasn’t a monster. That even though his wife was gone, that he knew she would’ve loved him forever. Unconditionally. “Because I tried to save her son’s life. And I’m surprised I’m not dead already from doing so.”
Sweetie Belle just looked at him as if he’s just turned into a purple elephant. She had a brother? Another? Magnum tried to keep eye contact with her as she looked directly into his. They were wide as her own and something in them said he wasn’t lying. But why would he be? It was just Sweetie Belle’s first instinct to doubt such an outrageous claim perhaps. Magnum levitated the photo album over to himself and flipped back through to the earlier pages. He found what he was looking for, on the second page. Only the fifth picture in the album and sent the book over to Sweetie Belle. She took it in her own magical field took a look. She didn’t really know what she was looking for though.
“The fifth picture, first on the second page. That’s him and Rarity.” Magnum said. Her eye went right to it. It was a young stallion about eight or nine, a yellow unicorn with a blue mane holding a young foal. Sweetie Belle kept looking. She didn’t recognise the foal as Rarity but assumed it was. It was a white unicorn but the foal looked so young. It didn’t even have a mane yet.
Sweetie Belle finally stopped looking at the picture and drifted to the next, and the next and the next before flipping the page to find the first one afterwards with him in it. She’d seen the pictures before but never really thought much of it. The most she’d ever done was ask Rarity who it was but she hadn’t known either. He was only in three pictures in total and the last one he was in, and after that last the picture’s time seemed to jump to where Rarity was at least a year or more older, with her in her father’s hooves by the side of her bed.
Sweetie Belle looked up from the photo album and saw Rarity over her shoulder. “It was a surprise to me too…” she sighed. Rarity had been told last night among other things. Both her and Sweetie Belle had seen him in the pictures before but she’d always just presumed that he was her foal-sitter or something. She’d even told Magnum that’s what her conclusion had been.
But the fact was that Sweetie Belle not only had two younger brothers, she had and older brother as well... he was dead obviously but still. But “That still doesn’t make any sense. So you had another kid before Rarity? And he died or something? So how does that make her love you more than us?”
“Let me tell you how I met your mother.” he said. It was clear he was hurt now. Maybe from Sweetie Belle’s accusation or maybe from her callus words about her older brother’s death. “When I first met her, I was seventeen and she was fifteen. And her son was three.” so the child wasn’t even his.
“So he wasn’t even yours…” Sweetie Belle stated in a much less caring manor.
“No, he wasn’t. Pearl had been… your mother had been abused. Your mother’s mother was quite young when she gave birth. Still in her early teens also. Neither of them had a good up-bringing and when your mother turned sixteen, she was old enough to live on her own, her parents kicked her and your brother out. We’d been friends for a year by then and a couple for a few months. When she was kicked out, I pleaded with Maresi to let her live with us. She didn’t like it, but she took her in, she took in your brother as well.”
“So you gave her a place to live? That’s nice but it’s not much.”
“I wish that’s all I had done. Not that I regret any of it. I just wish there wasn’t more needed. Her son was not well. He hadn’t been since he was born. He was…” Magnum paused. He knew what he was going to say next could possibly, and most likely, create an outrage from Sweetie Belle, and Rarity for that matter, but they both deserved the truth. Even if it would get worse before it got better. “He was a product of incest. Pearl’s father had raped her. And had done so far many years before she had first conceived.”
Sweetie Belle was silent but her eyes betrayed her. She wept. It was hard for her to understand all of this. And more over, to understand what could possibly have been going through her father’s head the night he had done it to her as well. He clearly disliked the stallion but he had done the same. Sweetie Belle’s eyes changed from still but cold to angry and boiling hot. “You’re no better than he is.”
“Maybe not…” Magnum accepted. The words by themselves had little meaning but the sting behind them, the malice, it struck deep. But he had to keep telling her about her brother. “Never the less, your mother loved her son. And I loved him too. And when she turned eighteen, we got married. Of course Maresi wasn’t happy that we were married and still under her roof and another year later we moved out. We moved out form this house, this boutique, and into where you grew up.”
Sweetie Belle didn’t really know Maresi to well when she was younger. She remembered that Rarity had moved in with her shortly before she died and then they found out she was their gran-mother. They never knew because their father had always called her by her name rather than ‘Mom’ or ‘Mother’. This was because she wasn’t his mother. She had adopted him when he was young, during the war and fled from the Neighzis in Prance. But that was most likely why he didn’t care that his son wasn’t really his son, and loved him all the same.
“Not much later, your mother became pregnant with Rarity… but it wasn’t a joyous time. Your brother’s kidneys started to fail. And she couldn’t give him one of hers while she was pregnant. So I did.” Magnum lifted up his shirt and showing the scar he had from it. Unfortunately, he discovered that it was unidentifiable to all his new ones. Maybe he had noticed before and not truly noticed, but now he did. Something that he’d always thought of as a badge of honour was gone. He sighed and lowered his shirt with a tear that he tried to hide. “I gave what I could and shortened my life for him.”
“But… he still died? Didn’t he?” Sweetie Belle asked. She already knew but it’s all the she could say at the moment. “And yet you’re still alive.” she added, sounding much more bitter than she intended. She couldn’t help but think that last part a complete crock seems he’d still outlived her mother. But that made her wonder, how much time did he have left?
“I am. And I’m grateful. For many things. But your brother… slowly, the rest of his organs began to fail. I gave him another year and a half of life. And in the end, he died happily, singing a lullaby to his baby sister. He was a singer. And before he passed, he got his Cutie Mark for it. His last words… ‘hush now quiet now, it’s time to go… t-to bed…’” Magnum began to cry as he spoke those words.
He’d continued to sing that song to Rarity for years. Then he sang it to Sweetie Belle. Then to Baritone, and then to Elusive. He hadn’t told that last part to Rarity last night though. “I, I remember that… I think.” Rarity spoke up. She didn’t quite know if she did remember it or she had created a false memory but preferred to believe the former. “Somepony I can’t quite picture, singing to me, every night… and then he stopped. I don’t know how long for. But then you started, but I remember it was a different pony. I just didn’t know who.”
“I sang to you, but not for a long time after that. A year, maybe two. But when I did… it sparked something in your mother. She saw me, standing by your bed as a sung the song and she walked off crying. I was going to follow her after I was done, and when I was finished, I lent in and gave you a hug and kiss on the forehead… and then there was a flash, and I turned to see your mother at the door, holding up her camera.”
Sweetie Belle picked back up the photo album. She had noticed the long gap between pictures in it and now she knew why. After that, the pictures seemed to be taken every few weeks as she flipped to the next few pages, and then back to the one she had been on before.
He clearly loved his son, even if he wasn’t really Magnum's son. And maybe she could understand why her mother loved him so much. He’d done everything he could for her. But… she still couldn’t forgive him. Or her mother. She understood, but she didn’t forgive. Maybe she would eventually but not now. She’d missed him for so long… but then she’d hated him. She didn’t hate him anymore, she didn’t miss him either though. He was just… here. That’s all he was now.
“I still don’t forgive you. Or her. She loved my dead brother more than she loved me. And followed some idiot who should’ve been dead by now instead and got herself killed because of it… you think some soppy story about how she loved somepony I’d never even heard of would change that? You, you haven’t even told me his name! He’s just ‘your brother’ and even with these photos… these THREE photos?! I can’t even put a face to him properly.”
“He was a singer… like you, and like your little brother too… his voice was beautiful. Like yours, like Baritone's.” Magnum said, seemingly ignoring what Sweetie Belle had just said. “When you were born, if you had been a colt you’d have been named Baritone, I told you that. And Baritone, had he been a filly would’ve been Sweetie Belle. But I, I never told you where we got the name Baritone from for you.”
Sweetie Belle could feel what he was about to say. It was obvious, but it felt… meaningful. He hadn’t dismissed what she’d said, he had shown that they loved her by loving her brother. Her brother, whose name was “Baritone.” she said softly. Rarity had heard this last night, but she still shed a tear of her own to the story once more.
Even if technically, this didn’t make Baritone named after her, and in a way made her a backup child, it didn’t feel that way. It felt… ‘great’ wasn’t the right word, nor was’ unique’. ‘Loved’ was close but not quite it either. Though she did feel loved, it just didn’t quite fit. ‘Special’? There wasn’t a right word for how she felt. All of them, none of them.
“Sweetie Belle.” Magnum said calmly as he took a few steps towards her seat. “I regretted leaving you every day I was gone. And so did your mother. I want to say I never had you leave my mind but that’s not true. In some of the worse times away in Prance, I didn’t think about you. But that was because you were safe, and loved. And I had to worry about my other children… who weren’t. I know what you should want to hear is that I never stopped thinking about you, but you had somepony else who was always thinking about you.”
Everything he just said was both a stab in the heart and a stab in the heart. Both painfully and lovingly. He was right, she couldn’t expect him to never forget her. She almost wanted him to have forgotten. What her younger brothers had been through, they didn’t deserve, even if he may’ve.
Before Sweetie Belle knew it he was hugging her, giving her a kiss on the forehead. Similar to in the picture. But he didn’t want to recreate a moment, he wanted to just create one. A new one, unique, even if similarly copied from the past. She herself was one of those moments: Unique but the same. The same in that she was his child, regardless of any barriers. So was Rarity, so was Baritone and so was Elusive. “Sweetie B…”
“I can’t forgive you.” she stated before he could continue. He felt crushed but he didn’t let go of the hug. “But, I love you too Dad…” she added as she returned the hug. They stayed like that for a few moments before Sweetie Belle pulled away. “I don’t want to…” she said, trailing off form her words. “I’m…” she stammered once more. She wanted to say something but she couldn’t think of a way to say it without sounding as if she didn’t love him.
“It’s alright,” Rarity said, putting her hoof over her sister’s shoulder. “That was a lot to take in, and heaven knows you’re taking it better than I did last night.” her hoof fell to the ground though, as with a loud pop Sweetie Belle was gone. Teleported away. While Rarity wasn’t very good as sensory magic, seems she’d been touching her sister at the time, she knew exactly where she had gone to. Rarity smiled. “Spike… you had better take care of your fiancé.” she said softly to herself, though both others present heard.
“I tried…” Magnum sighed. He’d hoped for more, but expected less. He knew his daughter loved him. But she didn’t forgive him. But that was enough, and much more than he could ask for. “There’s really nothing more I can say or do.”
“I think you’ve done quite enough.” Elusive added reassuringly. He was right in a way. Magnum had gotten far more than he’d expected from his daughters, both of them. He now knew that they both led happy lives, shared with ones they loved. They knew, and accepted, their brothers; new and old. Sweetie Belle hadn’t forgiven him… but that was ok. He hadn’t forgiven himself either.
He’d always known what he’d done was unforgivable, but was it redeemable? Apparenlty, the answer was yes. “Thank you.” he replied to Elusive. It wasn’t too late in the evening now, nearly 5pm. There wasn’t much left to do. For all the progress he’d made today, he knew going to see Sweetie Belle now would be the. Worst. Possible. Thing. He could do. So instead “Rarity. Elusive. I’d like to take you both out for dinner. It’s the least I can do.”
“That would be lovely father. We accept.” Rarity answered for both of them. However…
“I’m afraid I have to decline.” Elusive stepped in. “I have to be leaving shortly.” to which Rarity’s reaction was predictable: shock. But upon thinking about it, it was Sunday and he had come down here two days ago now. He lived and worked in Cantalot and though she’d love for him to stay here, she couldn’t ask that of him.
“Oh, yes… I’d forgotten. What time is your train?” Rarity asked, knowing full well the last one he could take before something ridiculous like 3am was just over an hour away. “Allow me to come with you.” Rarity added, to which Elusive needed no extra convincing. He hadn’t actually planned on leaving for almost another hour but as Rarity stood up and prepared to leave, he followed.
Before they did, Magnum told them “If you don’t mind me using your kitchen, I’ll have dinner ready when you return.” and thought to himself ‘if you return’ as he chuckled to himself. It was something he was sure Maresi had thought about him and Pearl so many years ago in this very house.
Once they left the two didn’t head immediately to the train station, instead stopping at a small out-door restaurant. Or rather fast food joint, semantics…they ordered and finished their meals. It was nice, quaint and even romantic. At least Rarity seemed to think so. She hadn’t truly accepted any kind of romance for so long now. Even with Flash Dance, she had put up a pseudo-shell around herself. Though with him it had been a good thing.
Now however, she had no doubts he would treat her right. And love her like she did him… and with that thought she admitted anew that she did love him. The stallion she had loved and despised for equal amounts of time over the last eight years. More than a quarter of her life. The one that had ended all thoughts of love for her and had as much returned them. The one who was leaving in not even an hour.
Soon after they left the restaurant/fast food joint and began towards the station. By the time they got there, they still had half an hour before his train was departing. With everything else that had been rushed by a similar mechanic such as time until they had to leave, it actually surprised Rarity that she’d have more than a few scant moments left with him before he left. She simply sat silently in his company for a few more minutes before finally Elusive spoke.
While she’d enjoyed his company and enjoyed the silence, he hadn’t and had taken it as a bad sign: as awkwardness between them. He’s misinterpreted a lot of what she’d seen as romantic and while he could see it from both sides, he’d chosen the lesser of the options he’d prefer. “Rarity, what am I to you now?”
“Whatever do you mean?”
“I mean… I feel we’ve reconnected, but I don’t think it’s how it should be between us. I love you, I don’t know how many times I’ve said that to you. But… with everything; none of this is what I had hoped for.”
“I know, I hadn’t planned on my father showing up and…”
“That’s not what I was talking about. I just can’t get passed the veiled insults and passive-aggressive words you’ve used against me.”
“What? Why I've done nothing of the sort! Name one. Name one instance I’ve said anything bad about you to anypony this weekend?” Rarity replied, insulted in turn that he’d think she’d do such a thing. She honestly couldn’t think of one time she had said a single negative thing regarding Elusive. And the truth was she hadn’t.
“’He’s a gentlestallion through and though. And quite frankly, better than anypony I could ask for in a coltfriend.’ You said that about Spike. While I was standing right beside you.”
“And I don’t see how that’s about you at all!” Rarity rebutted.
“It wasn’t. Not directly. But you said it as if he were better for you than I. That given a choice you wouldn’t choose me. Maybe I‘m over thinking it, but it’s there. There were others like this too. I can’t remember exactly what had been said, but I remember the moments.”
“I’m sorry, I’m truly sorry if I offended you. And, and I can’t say I didn’t mean that about Spike. You know him and you know he’s perfect for Sweetie Belle but… that doesn’t mean he’s better. And anything else I may’ve said, you know I’d never mean to offend.”
“Two months ago, when you said I’d raped you.” Elusive’s words where blunt. They almost seemed calculated, and to a certain degree they were as he’d put a lot of thought into their meaning. “When we parted ways, you said that perhaps I hadn’t used you, but you had used me. And I thought that was horse-apples of course.” Elusive finished, blatantly swearing.
“I know it was, I just thought that perhaps…”
“That perhaps it was true.” Elusive interrupted. “Rarity. What I thought had been something special between us. And you turned it into that. Even if you tried to take it back… it happened, I raped you, it happened” he said, using the almost exact words she had used. “But I thought about it. Had two months to think about it. And I realised you’d just been so confused with everything that had been going on.”
“Elusive, I’m so sorry. I…” she was cut off once more. This time however, he almost sounded angry rather than hurt... or sad.
“And just the night before last, we slept together once more. At your insistence and my apprehension! And… and you called out... 'Father'. I’d thought it wasn’t true, but it turns out it was. You WHERE just using me for relief, for gratification. Rarity. I can honestly say that I love you and always will but… there’s only so much I can stand before it’s too much!... and I’m so damn close to the point right now…” he trailed off.
“No, that’s not… not entirely true. I, I needed you. Is it so much to need somepony? I needed you to cope. I needed you to be there with me. I needed you to… I just needed you. I’ve said some things, true. Not once, out of anything you’ve just told me, have I said them to harm you though. I needed you, I don’t think I could’ve made it through my father returning without you. I needed you and I still do. And I thought what’s what a partner was for, somepony to help you through hard times, to lean on when you need support, to be there for one another.”
“Rarity. What am I to you?” if he was just there to support her; he would. Or if he was just there to comfort her; he would. And he was alright with that, he’d do anything for her and would love to do so.
“You are… you’re… you’re my Eli.” she said, feeling that it wasn’t the right answer. That he should be something more than just that. But it was more than enough. More than he’d hoped. He’d been mad just moments before… two months ago as he left on the train she’d told him that they still had something special between them. That there was a reason that she still called him ‘Eli’. And as she said that name, he felt it. It wasn’t Elusive, it wasn’t Lucy, and it wasn’t even Eli. It was them. Two as one.
And he knew, that no matter what she had said, meaning it or not, hurting him or not, hurting herself or not. That she loved him as much, maybe even more than he loved her.
It made it all the harder that he had to leave her again. But it wasn’t an end. This was beginning. A new beginning, a third new beginning but a new beginning all the same. There where obstacles still between them, but he could overcome them, and knew that she would do the same.
As Rarity turned, thinking that what she said hadn’t been enough, he put a hoof out and stopped her. She turned back towards him as he kissed her. Gently but with passion. It lasted quite long, at least compared to how long they normally kissed. Fifteen, maybe twenty seconds. Rarity always thought it unladylike to needlessly extend the length of a kiss but couldn’t care less at this moment.
As they broke apart, she finished off be leaning back in and giving him a quick peck on the lips. She knew they were now, after so long, she knew they where a couple once more and she couldn’t be happier. And couldn't help but smile. He smiled back. “That’s all I can be for you Rarity.”
“I’m your Eli.”
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