• Member Since 7th May, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 26th, 2012

1cy_Sparkle


Brony forevahhhhhhhhh And I like Ponies WHAT A SURPRISE ^^ !!! and i do fanfic's

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Soarin' goes to ponyville to meet somepony, who has sent Soarin' a message
Final version ! Many grammar errors fixed ! Thanks to ppl who helped

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 27 )

You need to find a new Jake. This one ain't cutting it.

617841
This is what Fimfiction has come to, stories being written by five year olds.

Jesus christ, get a new editor, and a book on how to write sentences and paragraphs.

617880

I've noticed there is more "newly uploaded" stories that feature OC's more than the actual cast from the show.

I feel this fan-dom is going to tumble down into the Sonic fan-dom soon with the bad stories and stuff like that.

Chop up your text more man... seriously. This is hard enough to read as it is. :fluttershbad:

"When he was a Philly."

So Soarin now played in MLB for Philadelphia? What now?

You need a new editor. Like, immediately.

who have sent Soarin' a message
Don't you mean :
who has sent Soarin a message

The fact that you can't even spell Ponyville in the description is already a bad omen...

So why am I punishing myself and reading this crap?

617880
Or maybe everyone doesn't speak English so good, OR maybe I don't live in country whit primary language of English...

617904
So what do you think there is wrong? and where? =) i would like to get better so if you would be kind enough to tell me

617953
I don't find how it is hard to read...? What part you think it's hard to read?

619427
The thing is, a lot of readers don't like reading very long paragraphs when it comes to fanfiction. Try looking at some of the other works on here and you'll see what I mean. Not how the text is broken up. It's easier for the reader to digest.

618264
Well, it was just little mistake and now it's fixed... And does that really matter if there is one letter missing....

619438
Yes, its true that ppl don't wanna read long stories... maybe I'll cut it on peaces. And thanks =)

Sturgeon's law punished this poor, idealistic soul... Correct your grammar and spelling, and then we'll talk.

619409
it's no excuse for saying "English is not my Native tongue"

I for one, not a English speaker. you only need a good editor.

and separate dialogue from paragraphs, unless the dialogue will be in paragraph form

619441

That wasn't the only problem, my friend...

Plethora-upon-plethora of spelling and grammatical errors, not to mention that your paragraphing is a bit too uncommon.

It's understandable if this is your first fic, nopony is a good writer on here when they started out, even me, still, you need to get a proofreader to check your next fic before openly publishing it.

619884
Well... My editor lives in USA and hes pretty good but everyone makes mistakes, we are all just humans.

620074
My editor lives in USA, and he is pretty good, but still we are just humans, everyone of us makes mistakes.

620180
...hmmm. yeah, I had 5 pre-readers... but then my friend edit this and so i didn't remember to get pre-readers.... ahhh silly me

Geez you guys are pretty harsh on me. Let's lay it down like this:

Number 1: i'm 15 years old guys so give me a break

Number 2: this is the first piece of literature I've written in my life

Number 3: this was written in 1 hour 35 minutes

I'm sorry everything isn't good enough for you but just make sure you check this before posting comments. Everyone starts somewhere, geez I'm sorry

Also let's add that everything was what I wrote off of scratch. 1cy was just the story board and creator. I truly, honestly made little to no editing whatsoever and I appologize. I need to improve but hate messages from 20+ years olds doesnt build my self esteem

Yeah... If you could read my version and compered that to this, You would be amazed. And i really don't see why you have to post so much hate on so little mistakes...
1cy

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