(The picture belongs to Johnjoseco on Deviantart and is used with his permission.)
Twilight Sparkle loves her sister-in-law and ex-foalsitter, Princess Cadance, dearly. In fact she wouldn't have anypony else be married to her brother, Shining Armor, Captain of the Royal Guard!
However, the mare has had one long, brooding question on her mind since the wedding. When she gets the opportunity to spend some time with Princess Cadance, she decides to get her answer.
But will Cadance take Twilight's family question the wrong way at first or will this question only produce even more questions to be had?
(Considered to take place near the last two episodes of Season 3)
Chapters (1)
Brilliant
seems to be a lot of grammar mistakes but other than that I liked this
It's a nice idea, but the execution is a little rough around the edges. Take a look at these two quotes and see if you can spot a problem…
If you got someone to edit your story, or even a few pre-readers, mistakes like this could be spotted and fixed before publication.
Also: "who", not "whom".
Lastly: here's my alternative ending…
Yes, I know. I am a bad, bad person.
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I do what I can to catch my mistakes as my proof readers have become too busy with real life issues to where I dare not bother them about it and try to do it myself. I catch some of them but...well...when writing and proofreading one of them is bound to go sour and wrong, usually the proofreading goes sour.
That and sometimes my auto-correct causes issues that I sometimes miss. Nevertheless than you for the mistakes you pointed out VitalSpark, I'll go correct them when I can today.
Every time Twilight called Cadance Caddy, one person came to my mind...
i.ytimg.com/vi/R65iH9yB2xo/maxresdefault.jpg
I've reviewed your story. It can be found here.
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I admit I could've done better, yes. In fact after finishing A Siren's Song (Which I'm berating myself for not continuing like I should've already.) I plan to write out the entire story and then check every word for a mistake. While a 5/10 means I can do much better, at least I do know I'm not too bad right?
5904629 Yep.
My my my Twilight! It seems you know more than you let on!
It was in all honesty hilarious AF! I haven't laughed this hard in a while
New link to a reading of your story https://youtu.be/hi84_Q-pS9Q