60
24
117
Joined February 2012
349
4,154
What do you do when you've been turned into a vampire?
For Cheerilee, the answer is "get a second job."
inb4 dis gon b gud....
INCEPTION
If this gets any more angsty, I'm gonna need to break out the Linkin Park.
Okay, let me say this; I HATE Valiant. If that's what you're going for, well, you've succeeded, far too well. He's exceedingly annoying and most frustratingly he's a goddamn Pinkie Pie imitator. He always does stuff that's way over the top, and honestly it's behavior that I only tolerate from Pinkie Pie herself. Seriously, he's building robots? And he's from another dimension? Gary Stu much? I put up with him through the prequel, but he seems to be even worse in this one, so I am unfortunately done reading this otherwise decent story unless he is either removed or neutered, both literally and figuratively.
EDIT: For reference-
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/JerkSue
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Jerkass
Yep, he is a pretty annoying pony... er, or whatever. Is he a little Larry Sue? Possibly. However, as someone who has "written" - if running a roleplay blog counts - I found myself needing a bit of comedic relief just to keep myself happy. Maybe all writers do, in a way, keep some device close so as to motivate through a piece? It's not easy writing passage after passage without some kind of insufferable hilarity, right? Right? Hm.
Although, as you'd said, maybe Valiant is an antagonistic shit merely for the sake and should choke on his Robotech and Hot Topic bullpuckey. That's always possible.
- Jenius!
Either way, I love this story & concept.
Valiant is basically a sociopath. He lies, cheats, and cares little for others, regardless of what good he does. The other characters even hate him. I understand that he's got some improbable skills, but I thought all the negative points disqualified him as a Stu.
I also never considered that he's Pinkie-esque, but I do see your point there.
If you don't like Valiant, it's good that you read this story, rather than one of my others that's told from his 1st person.
Fall to me the sky's crimson tears
Abolish the rules made of stone!
Oh, this is good... as was the story that led up to it.
I like Valiant, so nyah! There is every indication that he could be a human turned pony, and not all humans want to be ponies. 
It's just great to see a pony that doesn't line up with the rest of them in their generally happy-go-lucky behaviors. This distinguishes him.
I look forward to the sinister force of Cherrilee unleashed upon Equestria!
Twilight had coached her not to have thoughts like that.
-Yeah, self-harming is no joke psychologically. Sure she can take it, but it would probably just create more mental distance from the good pony she still IS but doesn't THINK she is.
While Cheerilee did occasionally go through a depressive mood swing, she had to admit that her general attitude had been steadily improving.
-Well, that is good to hear... she didn't seem very well adjusted at the end of the previous set of stories.
how much longer she still had to wait with only her thoughts to keep her occupied..
-One period or MAYBE three, but not two.
RIP Ronnie James Dio, 4/10/42 - 5/16/10
On a side note, this chapter is less angsty. Good job.
Love and tolerance sir? This is the wrong fiction thread to be posting this in.
His immorality seems to much more veer into when somepony personally slighted him though. Otherwise he just seems to be the run-of-the-mill misanthropic high-school student that can build giant robots and make snarky comments.
For lack of anything better:
You on a ZZ Top thing?
>>620431 I personally believe that Ulster should be given back to Ireland. But that is because my ancestors fought with the original IRA for Ireland's freedom so the dislike for England is deep. The modern IRA though is an embarrassment.
I wish I could visit Ireland. Such a beautiful place. 
The other day I walked into a bookstore, one of the bigger mainstream kind where everything is freshly printed and new. (sorta lacks the charm of the second hand / privately owned ones, but alack I digress) One section was entirely vampires. THey had. amidst sections like cooking, cultural, travel, history, childrens.... an entire section on vampires. I wanted to laugh and cry.
This story of Vampire Cherilee beats those senseless. She's not a mindless killing machine, and she's not a prissy high drama sparkle toy. She's a good person with real feelings forced into a strange predicament. "Vampires do not teach elementary school." That instantly makes it better than most. Kind of put me a bit in mind of the Discworld vampires (at least the black ribboners) I hadn't realized I'd lost a little piece of faith in something until reading the adventures and this follow on restored it to me. Yay for you. Also update
Also need more Cherilee. She's totally awesome pony. 
Oh wait, that's really stupid.
(remove the "?1330923154" from the end of your link)
>>636231 "I always liked sparring with giant candy swords, but it took me a while to realise it was my super special talent!" 
As for Cheerilee, she mustn't give up hope. I hear that it's very romantic to break into the house of your crush and stare at them while they sleep, oblivious to your presence.
Reset Password
Resend Verification Email
4,154 ( 31,059 )
More
Less
Post Comment
Refresh
Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Cheerilee.png
Image: http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/293/590/6f6.gif
is called "raritywink" I couldn't find anything that resembled an actual wink, so we'll just go with this. 
nice meeting you anyway, 
Image: http://www.doctor-who-toys.com/images-files/regenerating.jpg
Image: http://twentypercentcooler.net/data/fe/0d/fe0d30a8a3fa1a3fa7a92fc3e1db2b78.gif
Image: http://ponibooru.413chan.net/_images/23674c1eeecb752936fd15a7f25d0667/6602%20-%20Awesome_Face%20luna.png
I can guarantee a lot more action in the next chapter.
Cancel
Send