The Cutie Mark Crusaders try and summon a demon.
Unfortunately, they get something far worse.
On the bright side: this may finally get them their cutie marks.
Written for the Everfree Northwest Pre-Con Contest, using the prompt "Making New Friends". Pre-read by Carapace and auramane, and edited by auramane.
Special thanks to OleGrayMane for volunteering to give additional and very thorough editing. Just as special thanks to Miller Minus for inspiring this monstrosity in the first place.
Chapters (1)
Have a pleasant little ditty to go with this uplifting story of love and friendship.
Holy... crap. This was both hilarious and disturbing to read. I am in a state where I am just... don't feel anything... just simply stunned.
Well done, Meri... well done.
5781245
Glad you enjoyed (
cuthulhuawakens).squishyb.net/wp-content/uploads/cthulhu-1.jpg
I'm so disturbed but I can't stop laughing. The CMC's total flippancy towards the entire summoning ritual, finding Sombra's horn (it was his, right?) in the trash, the reoccurring Cutie Mark Crusader Bureaucrats trademark shenanigans... This cracks me up.
5781384
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whatisdeadcanneverdie)5781447
Mission accomplished.
DINGDINGDING! WE HAVE A WINNER!
Haha, thanks, I'm pretty proud of that one. I'm glad you enjoyed it! (
repentbeforethevoidconsumesyou)5781430
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theeyesTHEEYES)Well that happened.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkJehlr1tEw
5781861
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Do come again, good sir.
theworldswillburnineternalflame)I regret nothing!
5782059
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That's the spirit!
hecomesHECOMES)I am so glad I read this while high.
5782468
I'm glad you did, whatever methods you used. 
(
Ha! I suppose that's one way to enjoy it.
rEvEl iN tHe gLoRy)Oh man here we go!
33.media.tumblr.com/06cdcf5cbf141c01e6e926ab4588c755/tumblr_navzwsvEMm1rdr926o1_400.gif
Oh yes.
That one got a legit shocked reaction out of me.
Holy crap man this one really got me laughing,
When you mark a story "dark" you really go all in!
mylittlefacewhen.com/static/cheerilee-square-300.png
HOLY CRAP DUDE
This is deliciously sick.
This entire sequence was MASTERFUL!
Dude 10/10. I loved every moment.
ewwww.
I... I have no words for this. Surprisingly good way to end the day after marathoning volumes 1 and 2 of Gregory Horror Show. Cthulhu Fhtgagn!
5784274
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Glad you enjoyed mate.
iaiacutiemarkfhtagn)5783895
Proto, your comment had me grinning the whole way through.
I consider that a compliment of the highest order.
I tend to be a non-combatative and generally pleasant person, both in real life and online, so I think people tend to be surprised by how dark my sense of humour can be.
Hehehehe
Thank you so much for both the fave and the recommendation, and the awesome comment. I'm really happy you enjoyed it so much!
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thebeastandhisarmiesshallrisefromthepittowagewaragainstgod)Official EFNW 2015 Pre-Con Contest first round grading
Yeah... This is just a little too dark and gory for the PG rating. Sorry -- disqualified.
5804291
Oh well. I had fun writing it at least. Thanks for reading!
5805607
For what it's worth, I did enjoy reading it. ^.^ Just not a good fit for the contest.
5806090
Yeaaaaah, I probably should have looked a little closer at the guidelines, but I was kind of a last minute entrant. I am glad you enjoyed it though!
I.... was I responsible for this....?
......awesome.............
For real though, that was funny. I especially liked you traded doing jokes inside and outside of dialogue. You've got a good balance going here. Sometimes the narration was a bit overbearing, though.
*golf clap*
I mean, from their perspective, everything went pretty swimmingly, so I can't fault you.
5807717
Indeed you were. Think upon your sins.
Hehe.
iknorite
Thanks for reading Miller, and I'm glad you enjoyed it - especially as the one responsible for it!
5810184 Except I led you astray! I didn't realize efnw would disqualify for mature content, the fascists.
Or did I? Hahaha... Muahaha.. MUAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHAAAAAA-
nah, I didn't.
5810701
I didn't think it was that bad, I mean it's only got a little bit of gor-
...Forget I said anything.
Unusual and enjoyable.
6056575
I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, but I think I did a decent job of it, if I do say so myself.
Why thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
This is the funniest story about child murder I have ever read. :D
6078747
High praise indeed.
In all seriousness, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I wasn't expecting to see any of the reviewers grace my story with their presence! As something of a novice author, your stamp of approval is certainly heartening. =)
6082169
You'll find out who to thank/blame come my next review blog. :V
I thought that this was a well written story that was a pleasure to read.
-Frost
6171003
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Thank you!
The ending killed me. Not "killed" as in "dead like Diamond Tiara", but as in "I laughed a lot. Unlike Diamond Tiara, because she is dead."
6694494
That she is, my friend. That she is.
Certainly one of the cuter uses of Great Old Ones and pones I've seen around here!
7547183
Thanks! For both the comment and taking the time to read my story - I'm a big fan of your works, and one of the greatest things about this site for me as an author is having people whose work you like coming over and giving a comment on something of yours.
So yeah - thanks mate.
6078747 This is a perfect description of this story
It's been a long time since I read something on FimFiction. Whoo boy this was a fun way to get back into the site!
I ansolutely adored the descriptions of how eldricth the things were, it was awesomley atmospheric.
I also loved how long it took before you find out they have Diamond Tiara and how gradually things become super dark. I almost wish they could have innocently summoned something without outright killing something for the hilarity of someone unintentionally doing something apocalyptic like that, but there really is no reasonable way to summon such a horrific and powerful entity without some blood being shed.
Overall a fun albeit twisted and enjoyable story and a great way to get back into the website! Thank you.
It took me a false start at Google Translate before I saw what you did there. Well done, and ow.
(I think you may have swapped a couple of letters in "βιτηξεσ", also.)
While this does literally translate to "I don't know", you might have been thinking of "je ne sais quoi" ("I don't know what"), which is much more common an expression for the situation where you used this.
I hate myself for saying it, but this line was the funniest in the fic for me.
Well done.
8597806
I think you're the first person to get what the "Greek" actually was! Congrats, I suppose? Not sure if you want congratulations or an apology, it is pretty silly.
And you were right about "βιτηξεσ" - it should actually be "βιτξηεσ" (I think).
Damnit, I knew this felt off! Thanks for pointing it out - I really should have picked up on that.
I actually found a couple of little mistakes going through elsewhere when I fixed that, so future readers have you to thank for slightly better grammar!
Confession time: that was, weirdly, the line I was most concerned about prior to publishing. Not the stuff about torturing DT, or the Crusaders' emergent sociopathy, but that line. So it's pretty relieving to hear someone liked it.
Looking back on it all this time later, I do cringe a little at this story - but for what it was (a first attempt at a genre, and a one day rush job) it's not too shabby. Thanks for reading!
8386647
Hey there!
Man, I am late on replying to this. Sorry about that!
On to what you thought of the story - wow! I'm glad it was a good reintroduction to stuff for you, and thank you for the praise and the feedback! I am definitely telling people that it's "awesomely atmospheric" next time I try and bully a friend into reading it.
I'm glad you liked the pacing of it, and the slow descent into darkness - that was my main driver behind writing this, the extreme juxtaposition between the Crusader's attitudes and what they were doing and what was happening around them. A mix of Lovecraft and A.A. Milne, if you will.
As for this:
I could have gone the route of making things turn out completely fun and okay, but I think that would have sucked a lot of the darker humour out of it. I've seen a bunch of stories about nice, fluffy eldritch beings - hell, that's exactly what Discord is in canon - but I never really saw something that tried to do something that was really pretty dark, but dress it up in more comedic language.
Anyway, mini-rant over - glad you liked it!
8608358
You're very welcome. I'm glad to give you a fun new phrase. Also, happy new year!
For untold ages, this story has slumbered undisturbed. What horrors has my hubris unearthed? What wonders? I fear I can no longer tell one from the other.
Iä! Iä!
(And I see what you did with the Greek.
)
9185193
You fool! By commenting here, you have awoken him from his great slumber! Quick, flee now before it's too la-
S͏̳̺̙orry, a friend of mine got to the keyboard first. I think that was a prank or something h͍̟̰͚̱̕ah̥͎̥̺̤a̯͢. No eldritch abominat̗̞̫͘i̹͔̠̮on̝s͍̯̥̰ ͟h̬e̞͟r̰̮̝̗e̶͚̫̗͉!̡̣
Anyway, it's certainly a novel experience to be replying to your comment on my own story! D̴͈̘͎̲̣̪e̤f̣̜initely a good one. Hope you enjoyed it!
(Hehe.
It's a little silly, but then so is t̸̬͈̙h͇̱is̡̭̳̫̙ whole fic.
herisesfromthedeeptodevourourdreams)Formatting fun, a bit of Sombra, and the death of a child all blend together to make a wonderfully adorable little read.
Don't think I'm not aware of how that sounds, you just have the wrong taste in blood rituals.
9374144
Obviously only those with the very best of taste in blood rituals are accepted in this establishment.
Glad you liked it, friend!
9375593
Perhaps i should be following you for more, then?
9375689
In fact, I have the inklings of an idea for an upcoming contest that may or may not contain some high quality blood rituals...
Maybe so!
Thanks for the follow and the lovely comments here and elsewhere.
9375813
No prob! Thanks for the stories!
I don’t think I have ever read a better take at dark comedy than this. Made me laugh couple of times and despite all the gore, it felt simply innocent
Pacing, spelling and grammar were solid as well, except some mixed up its/it’s. But that’s just a minor detail. So, thank you for this read!
PS: Really enjoyed translating the Greek part!