Leapling day

by Feefers

Thanksto...

Huge thanks to the following amazingly awesome people;

Loganberrybunny and Huskyteer for offering to proof the story.
Koku for being lovely as always.
TF Nelson Scraton and everyone from Fanfic Friday, this is for you!
Loupy, Becca, Zephyrr, K’irimi and Neko the lights of my life.
Lauren Faust, for making this all possible.

Comments

[Menoshe]

Will this work?
1.bp.blogspot.com/-_TkbcIBMy1Y/T2Ioh3r-T_I/AAAAAAAABGA/BAJcgUhFm7c/s1600/firstpost.jpg
Yeah it will.

[Feefers]

571692

Oh gosh man see this is why I have awesome editors like LoganBerry and Husketeer, yes she is (and always has been) grey, but i'm pretty badly colour blind so she's always a little pinkish to me

o.O

++ Edit

There we go sssssh don't tell anypony.

[Lightning Shaker]

This story was really cute, just the fact that you included Derpy and Dinky makes me smile. Definatly worth a thumbs up and fav.

[Feefers]

571811

Glee!

[orgo-member-XV]

571771

Oh alright cause when you were saying pink i was thinking of Pinkie the whole time...but this is an awesome Story! And sorry about all the comments but i had to commet each chapter... But thank you for writing this! and i am adding you as a friend!

Love this story!

[Lightning Shaker]

571813 I appreciate that you didn't make Derpy sound stupid, though I thought it was amusing how she kept refering to whoever opened the door as who she expected (Spike as Twilight and all that) Dinky may replace Luna as best princess... maybe, she is really adorable.

[Dissidence]

Fun little read. I liked the story, it had some funny moments and the concept of a day for everyone to see the world a little bit differently for a day is very interesting. Also found little to no errors (there were one or two letters that were supposed to be capitalized) but in all very nice to see a story with good grammar. In all, loved the story

[Feefers]

571981Thanks I am working on that and have some excellent people assisting me with this.

[Feefers]

571888
I was realllllly hungry when I wrote that bit...

[Feefers]

571848
Telescopeception!

[Feefers]

572191 She's very special

“Oh well of course we still need someone to lower the sun, end Leapling day so we can all wake up normally tomorrow, the night before a Leapling day I cast a spell to find someone pure of heart and strong of will this time it found Dinky and to ensure she stays safe Derpy becomes a unicorn, it’s that simple.” Celestia explained.

[Shader]

Critic in me it telling me things.

I enjoyed the story and concept of everyone swapping race. But.... Your punctuation really needs work. Taking a completely random passage -

“Ready Rainbow?” Rarity asked carefully testing her wings against the air currents tilting them forward just the slightest bit and feeling a slight lift as she realised her hooves were no longer quite touching the ground.

An example of what could help -

“Ready Rainbow?” Rarity asked as she carefully tested her wings against the air currents, tilting them forward just the slightest bit. The sudden feeling of her hooves leaving the ground... etc etc

May look like a small thing, but really helps with the readability of a story.
The writing isn't bad, just watch sentence length, and remember to put in pauses. The , and . key are your friends, use them. Other than that a decent story.

[Feefers]

572236 I promise I reallllllllllllllly am working on those.

Next story will be better.

[Shader]

572240
Haha, don't worry about it. As long as you know where the problems are, and acknowledge them, you can fix them!

Great concept, language usage was good, fix that one thing and you'll be golden.

[Feefers]

572634 She is uh ... still very special?

“Oh well of course we still need someone to lower the sun, end Leapling day so we can all wake up normally tomorrow, the night before a Leapling day I cast a spell to find someone pure of heart and strong of will this time it found Dinky and to ensure she stays safe Derpy becomes a unicorn, it’s that simple.” Celestia explained.

says so it must be true.

[SkyStream]

572788

yeah yeah...I hadn't finished reading when I posted that

[Feefers]

572896 Sorry to hear that, i'll work harder for you next time. It will be better.

[Loganberry]

Quick note: I'm the "Loganberrybunny" mentioned in the "Thanks" section. I, um, haven't done any actual proofing on this story. I was asked to, and agreed, but I only got as far as giving some general hints, such as on punctuation. From a quick scan, it doesn't look as though my suggestions have been acted on...

[Feefers]

573656 I am typing as fast as I can

I'm going to get it done real soon.

[Loganberry]

573682

As I've said elsewhere, that's not really the point. Proof-reading is not something that can be done after publication, or even during it. It needs to be done before publication. You didn't say a word to me about the story having to be ready by a specific time. To be honest, I might well have declined the offer to help if you had, since I dislike that type of pressure.

Why am I upset? Look at the comments above ours. Most people say that they like the story itself, but feel it needs proof-reading. In the "Thanks" chapter, my name is listed under proofing. People will look at that and assume I'm not very good at it. It's unfairly hurting my reputation for good spelling and punctuation, a reputation that means a lot to me.

I'm happy to say here that I enjoy the story too, and that I love the concept of Leapling Day. It really is only the proofing stuff I have a problem with.

[Xenotype]

574120 No they are made via MAGIC SEX

[Foals Errand]

I reviewed your story tonight you can find the review here