Tis a sad day when a book comes to an end. But endings lead to new beginnings.

(Hint hint)

6995702 there will be a sequel, it'll be released by the end of the month

I'll reserve most excitement for when it's actually released.

Oh my gosh, such a good ending, and sad too

Looking forward to seeing retribution. I hope it's as horrible and painful for Wily's tormentors as it was for Wily

6997505
6996700

I will just say, Luna and Dusk lead the charge on Helping Hooves Care Home

Whenever I see this, I usually think: "nopenopenopenopenopenope!"

watersports

7042045 to be fair, it's not a huge part of the story, and where it is included you can easily skip

7042073 XD

I don't often leave a review, but I feel I would be a bad reader if I didn't tell you how I was feeling at the conclusion of this story.

I feel like you handled the fetishes fairly well.

It felt like after the first four chapters every damn chapter had a 2-9 month time skip. I didn't like that. I didn't like how quickly everyone seemed to forget about Wily. Yeah, they were still looking for her, but they never talked with any sort of urgency about finding her. It had already been 9 months, they clearly weren't in a hurry.

Second, the ponies had I-Phones, yeah? So they can develop an I-Phone, but they have absolutely no concept of basic police-work? Like, holy-shit, did the cops do anything? "The semen samples don't match anypony in our database, so looks like we're never going to solve this case." How about someone just go get some DNA from Cold Front, since he should be a suspect regardless of his alibi. I mean, they have laws specifically against mutilating a horn and attempting to kill a pony, but they can't figure out how to even get decent interviews from the last ponies to see and talk to Darkie.

Dusk felt bad about Wily getting mad at him so he just disappears for the next 5 years and all his friends are cool with that. Also, holy shit they have ties to three of the princesses why not get them more involved? Wily's friends suck.

It would be real easy to murder an unwanted child in your version of Canterlot. Just hide the body really good and when anyone asks where your child disappeared to just tell them they're staying with family in another city. When they point out you don't have any family don't worry, just stick to your story and insist they're in another city. No one is going to even ask you for proof that this person is still alive for seven or nine months, so you have plenty of time to make up a better story.

Wily and her torturer: I really wish you had given more in depth explanation of what exactly the torture pony (forget her name) was going for with Wily. They never discuss why Wily's condition doesn't meat their satisfaction yet, they just keep beating her. And beating her. Beating her isn't working? Break her leg. That doesn't work? Break her wing. This goes on for a year, and then the dumb bitch decided to use clausterphobia. If she knew clausterphobia was Wily's biggest fear why didn't she use that after beatings didn't work (which we never see Wily really refusing an order, she just gets beat a lot) instead she waited a year to use clausterphobia. I feel like this (and her friends' search) is where your really long time skips didn't work. The time skips lost the sense of urgency in the search for Wily. If her friends weren't all that bothered (anyone can talk to a princess, right) by their friend being gone for seven god damn months why should the reader care?

I liked the story, I don't mean to sound overly critical, though I'm sure I did sound overly critical. I just wanted to give you some honest feedback about how I feel right now before I read the sequel. Maybe the sequel will make me feel better, maybe it won't. Regardless, I still enjoyed your story.

-Gin

7062978

Time skips. A lot of repetition can turn very dull for the reader.

Friends drifting away. Air Raid really wanted to forget about Wildfire. Cyclone had her own life issues that sent her away from Canterlot. Dusk became the stuck up royal and shed his connections with the common ponies. Brightstar found life with a griffon. Slingshot wasn’t really close to Wildfire. Darkstar is the only one that really did care and tried, until she was maimed for it and borderline crazy after that. Air Raid took her out of guilt and wanted even less to do with Wildfire.

Police Work. (Maybe a confession from Cold Front will be in the next book, so I’d rather leave that unexplained.) Still Twilight did get DNA samples which cleared him. The letters also ensured her that Wilfire was okay. Twilight still felt some guilt over Wildfire’s blinding. Needless to say, the case was never closed. Nothing tied Cold Front to the crime. The other two went back to their lives. DS just couldn’t remember enough to blame anyone.

In truth, the Canterlot of the Wilyverse is not a utopian city. It is full of corruption being so close to the throne. The sisters look over all of Equestria, but not with a focus on the city outside the walls. That is for the Mayor to take care up. Yeah, you could kill and hide a body in Canterlot if you knew who to pay off.

The breaking of Wildfire by Amethyst and her crew could also get to be very repetitive. Obedient slave is the desired outcome, but Wildfire is a willful pony. Claustrophobia is a general fear for all Pegasus, but it ranges from, ‘My this is comfy box’, to ‘ I can never get in an elevator!’ and in between. For a non-Pegasus it isn’t something that can easily be understood. The reaction from the box was more than expected. Wily can’t really see what she is in, be it a box or a cell.

In truth, life moved on for all of them. Even in our world today, friends drift into and out of our lives. Some you’d think are really close and will be there forever, don’t. In the end there was only one true friend for Wildfire, and that was Darkstar.

well, this story didn't really go where I expected it to. I still enjoyed it and will read the sequel. I wasn't necessarily a huge fan of all the fetish stuff either. Th slang would though me for a loop every once and a while, but i guess that's unavoidable in an international community.

7147748 Thank you for your comments. May I ask what you did or did not like about it, or exactly how the story went where you weren't expecting?

As for the slang, as you say that's unavoidable. Creative efforts don't exist in a vacuum after all. Being British i'll no doubt use little terms and phrases that might sound weird to an overseas reader.

Still, i'm glad you like this, and chapter 3 of the sequel is almost done.

714888 So the slang was more of an observation than anything else. I realized later that it may have seemed like it was a criticism.
It turns out things didn't go as expected because I didn't really read the entire description. that being said, i felt that everything with the care house and Darkstar was just to much. I know that this is a tragedy, but I think it would have been just as good if the rest of the story was just dealing with the aftermath of Wildfire being blinded and Air Raid breaking up with her. This brings me to my main criticism of this story and the beginning parts of the sequel, there isn't really any payoff for anything. Wildfire and Dusk had an argument and that's it from Dusk. Nothing when Wildfire goes missing, nothing when Darkstar gets attacked. He's just gone. Same with Slingshot. The same thing happens in reverse when she comes back. Neither her nor Dusk really tell anyone that she's back. It's Wildfire (somehow) escapes, meets up with her best friend who she had a massive falling out with before she went missing and then they go to a bondage sex party. As far as I know, the rest of the group still think she's missing. There's just no resolution with it
It also feels like no one really took the situation seriously. when Wild fire went missing, I expected them to try to put pressure on Luna through Dusk. Most fantasy canons have variations of tracking and scrying spells and Luna can dream walk. It would have been easy for Dusk or the others to ask Luna to check up on Wildfire in her dreams. And absolute monarchies have looser interpretations of legal and illegal if Luna or even Dusk had authorized tracking spells to find WIldfire or time travel to see what happened to Darkstar the situation would have been resolved. And then Wildfire didn't tell anyone what happened. A fraction of what happened to Wildfire there would have justified a police or FBI (in the US) raid. Instead Dusk visits and nothing happens.
I guess what i'm trying to say is that the story really fell flat with the Care home arc. Everything before that was really well done.

7151148 Your points are valid, then that shows that I have achieved my goal in Book 1. The quest to find the resolution is what comes next."

7153305 but so far the sequel has been ignore what happened and go to a BDSM sex party. Couldn't get into it.

7153887 No, not at all. Book 2 happens straight after book 1. Yes, Dusk has taken her to a BDSM sex party, but while she is there Wildfire is away from Amethyst's influence and is breaking the conditioning placed upon her.

She is being released, and over the coming chapters she learns - with the help of her new herd-mates - to live, and to get some semblance of a life back.

7154700 that's never mentioned in the portion of the sequel i read. I'm going to say it again, it feels like no one really cares. Dusk doesn't tell anyone that Wildfire is back. Then he waits two weeks and takes her to Manehatten instead of say, immediately taking her to the castle. And again, to a BDM sex party. The only way any of what's happened so far in the sequel is even remotely believable is if he has absolutely no idea or suspicion about what happened. Which is entirely possible considering no one ever even told him that she went missing in the first place.

7154824 Then i'm sorry but you have not read it properly.

Friends drifting away. Air Raid really wanted to forget about Wildfire. Cyclone had her own life issues that sent her away from Canterlot. Dusk became the stuck up royal and shed his connections with the common ponies. Brightstar found life with a griffon. Slingshot wasn’t really close to Wildfire. Darkstar is the only one that really did care and tried, until she was maimed for it and borderline crazy after that. Air Raid took her out of guilt and wanted even less to do with Wildfire.

In truth, life moved on for all of them. Even in our world today, friends drift into and out of our lives. Some you’d think are really close and will be there forever, don’t. In the end there was only one true friend for Wildfire, and that was Darkstar.

7154932 i'm done with this conversation. literature is subjective so I can't "not read it properly". If I see plot holes (which you still aren't addressing) and inadequate storytelling, then it isn't my fault.

You're a horrible person for naming a pony whose only real act (though not her only role) in the story is to die by lightning "Silver Bolt."

I just thought you should know that.

7242458 i can appreciate that, and i admit i'm a terrible, terrible, awful person

Finished reading. One session because I'm silly like that.

I have extremely mixed feelings about... everything to do with this. I don't think they're your fault.

7242633 can you be more specific? mixed feelings, such as?

7242686

I'll finish reading the other story, and then attempt to sort it out.

7242686

I finished reading. Actually, I finished reading almost an hour ago, but was then derailed in a private chat.

I don't know what to say. There are also some things that are personal and will not be shared, at least here. Additionally, the stories didn't make me hurt like I'd been led to expect, and I am a touch short on sleep to evaluate without that lens.

I do know that coming in knowing some of what was to happen made the scene with that one stallion setting Cold Front up with the "care home" chilling.

I don't make a habit of leaving serious critical feedback when I am this short on sleep, but I feel that I should mention that a lot of the high word count feels like filler at times. Well-written, but unnecessary. (Also, you seem to have a habit of missing close-quotes.)

7249627 there are some time references in there, honest

7345240 yes. that's right. because i like the picture i drew for Wily better than the one i drew for Dusk

7347196 thank you. thank you so very much my friend

7387487 Well...there are aspects of Wily that are taken straight from me, as there are with all my OC's that appear in this story. Thank you very much for reading. I hope you liked it?

7444162 It killed me too, I love Audi TT's

7444512 Then I achieved what I set out to do

7462639 Hold on tight, it only gets better from here!

7463358 Yeah, Blitzwing is there to be hated. Then again, if you hate him now......well....spoilers....

7463691 now you're getting it

Damn... just damn... you've made a story that... has shocked me to the core.

7463781 yes but did you like it?

7463802 Hell yeah I liked it! You did an amazing job with this story, and I salute you for it!

7463813 Thank you!! In that case, may I direct you to the sequel, Wildfire 2 - Releasing the Flame?

7463840 Already have it up

7520929 I'm pleased the feels got you. Spoilers - There are more feels body punches to come!

7745961 You'll have to elaborate. It's been a while since I wrote this chapter

7844614 Well, the story can be found HERE, I hope you like it!

7860278 i really hope you like it!

7860334 Teehee I'm saying nothing. No spoilers here

7860362 No, they don't have toes like we have toes, but the leading edge of the hoof is called the toe.

Wait wtf. Wily? But how!

7890421 All will be explained in the sequel!

7890429 your evilll!

7890441 Guilty as charged. But I bet you wanna read the sequel now, right?