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When Coco Pommel is summoned to Ponyville, she encounters the last thing she thought she'd ever see: a Rarity who has completely lost the passion for her profession.
Moved by Rarity's plight, Coco will do everything she can to bring the sparkle back to her friend. But will she, an almost complete outsider to Rarity's life, be enough?
Editing duties courtesy of nanashi_jones.
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5794317
Seconded.
Here, I lost it.
This is a nice beginning, and I like your Coco; she's not loco in the coco, like poor Rarity seems to be right here.
Having actually finished it now:
Recently, I delved into the realm of writing romance, and it is not easy. This is not romance, but it's the kind of thing that nevertheless convinced me to try it. Lulamoon's Castle started it, sure, but Rainbow Reflections is what convinced me, "Yes, I think I can do this," and while the result is certainly not the most widely read bit of fiction I've put out to the world, it was certainly the one that I enjoyed writing the most.
Thank you, Bookish Delight, for you are, at this moment in life, my Rarity: Through your own expressions of art in making ponies beautiful, you inspire me to do the same.
Your fics always feel like an episode. Literally. I mind-saw this fic in Flash animation instead of my mind's weird anime-esque art style. (Your Coco is a precious beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this sinful earth.) ILU forever, Booky.
P.S. The fic at the top of the Similar list is also a Slice-o-Life RariCo...featuring padded ponies. This amuses me.
Just need to mention that ending part before I continue reading the rest. Could you not tease them being a couple more than that? It nearly made me shout at my computer in a good way
Well, you beat me to the punch on this (I was always curious whose Coco/Rarity story would come out first, since we were both doing one).
The story was basically flawless, and I echo Starlight Shadow when she mentioned it being so similar to an episode. I could easily believe Coco reappearing to help Rarity through a roadblock in her career like this.
What I found interesting about the story, is that as good as it was, I would have been fine if it ended after the second chapter. Once I finished that chapter, it did feel like a logical end, but I was more than overjoyed when it continued. The conversation between Spike and Coco might have been one of my favorite moments I've ever had in any story I've read by you (and maybe every single story I've read that Spike is in). The idea that they would understand being the voice of reason with their friends was really well done and I can see the two of them being good friends just due to their own experiences.
I also saw a ton of similarities in the beginning of your story than the beginning of my still unpublished one (which I haven't bothered to touch in awhile, though because of this I might go back to it now). Coco getting a letter to come to Ponyville and marveling at the differences of the small town, vs Rarity getting a letter to come to Manehattan and commenting on the atmosphere of the city. Just found it kinda interesting.
But seriously, queen of friendshipping, you couldn't have made them closer without being a couple. And you did it twice!!
So much teasing...
This was awesome though! Fantastic work.
DJRD
5794484 I couldn't agree more.
Bookish this story is a true masterpiece. The pacing was perfect and the characters felt so right, so natural, so fluent, so 'believable'.
Cocos talk with Rarity had me practically glued to the screen. I was so entranced that I literally forgot everything else for a few moments.
It's these precious little moments that make a story a true gem, that make it magical. But it is not what let it stay that way. What makes this story so wonderful is that that 'spell' never broke until it was finished. You managed to keep me spellbound.
In that regard, It's interesting that you ended the story were you did. Usually after finishing a story I have either a feeling regret that it is over or a longing for more if I don't feel like my expectations had been met. Your story had neither. It ended, it just did and that was it. Like Starlight Shadow said, like an episode. And I'm neither sad about it nor do I absolutely need to read more. Sure I'd love to but this 'Slice' of life is finished and doing more would likely have a negative impact on the magic the rest already had.
Another little thing I loved in this story was how mature Spike had been. He absolutely nailed it. The main six are strong and wonderful personalities but they are themselves their greatest enemies. What's wonderful about him saying that is, that it actually makes sense. Even in the series he has always been the voice of reason and has always been the one to take a step back and sort things out. It makes sense for him partially maybe because he has to deal more with himself, being a dragon and having to watch greed.
Oh! a last little thing on that account. Him to value Rarity's inner beauty above all else is a wonderful parable to his dragon nature. He knows that he has to give, has to be generous to preserve her as much as he realised her inner beauty, her personality to be the most precious thing in the world for him in the first place. It's a wonderful irony that the greatest jewel in this dragons hoard is one that he has to give himself to constantly.
Thank you for gifting us with this masterpiece Bookish
Excellent story. When I saw it in my feed, I knew I had to read it right away. And I was not disappointed.
Coco is a rock here. She's supportive, and she excels at it, much like Spike does. I'm reminded of the speech from Buffy The Vampire Slayer, when Xander talks about how he and people like him - not big superheroes or such, but ordinary people - can be heroes in their own right just by being there for their friends when they're needed. And it's pretty much what Spike says here, too. There's a lot of worth in being someone else's foundation - the Alfred to Batman, the KRC to Fourze, the Spike to Twilight, etc. And Coco does it so well. (Then again, I wrote her in that role too, though for a different unicorn.)
While this story is primarily Coco's, Rarity plays her part very well too. The dreamer who's crushed by the cruel reality of the real world. Needing the support of her rock. Impressively, you managed to capture her at her worst without letting her look bad. I absolutely loved her here. And the other characters - Twilight, Spike, Pinkie and Applejack - while only playing minor roles, did them well. Spike's speech, if a little sudden to present to a very fresh acquaintance, was very strong. And Twilight is taking a page from Pinkie, hamming things up without a care. (That was incredibly fun.)
While shorter than Lulamoon's Castle (what with no flashbacks), it maintained a very similar style, as well as the same kind of natural flow that kept me reading until the end. (As well as ending on the same kind of maybe-kinda-sorta-possibly romantic note, without tipping your hand either way. Oh, you.
) Excellent work.
5794412
Oh, sure, she's sane now, but you should have seen the deleted scene where I had Coco instantly run over and take a bite out of that marshmallow.
No food service on Equestrian train rides!
Brilliant. So much to enjoy about this story, including a properly-characterized Pinkie Pie (so many writers get her wrong), and a slap in the face to all of the whiners who feel like Spike is abused and/or neglected. 'Scuse me while I add this to some groups...
5794458
augh flattery
Romance is hard. You practically have to have a blueprint of every single facet of your characters laid out in your mind, and even then whoever you show it to will have a different blueprint. Cue squabbles. Yet (at least in my eyes) it is by far the most fun of genres to work in, and it can complement any other you wish.
That you took the first step (and such a meaty one at that -- 13K is nothing to sneeze at) is to be commended). Try again sometime while taking note of what you learned and what you liked. Throw out the rest, and you'll find you're able to make hearts sing.
Thank you for the kind words.
It shows up while I'm outside being productive in the garden. I see how you are!
5794484
<3u too, hon. (*hug*)
Thank you. It really is wonderful people like you (and the rest of my "clientele") that keep me here and just sane enough to keep doing this. I should have been long gone by now. And I take extra pride in knowing I breached your shoujo-anime mind-barrier.
As for that Similar story... I got nothin'. I'm just gonna let fimfic do its thing; I've long since stopped trying to figure it out.
5794656
Luckily, we have archival footage of your test audience before you deleted it:
bit.ly/1By7Wb7
Oooh, it seems Coco has a bit of a dramatic side, at least in her internal thoughts. Well, internal until the chapter end anyway...
5794594
Yeeeeeeeeah, I didn't have the heart to tell you after your first comment that you hadn't made it to Chapter Four yet.
And wow, you're totally right now that I think of it. There are similarities between your Rarico setup and mine. Granted, said setup is just one of the easiest ways to get them into a room together, but still.
The end of the story was going to be after the second chapter, with the rest of it as an epilogue. I had a lot to say but wasn't sure how to make it fit. Fortunately(?), it seems if you feed my editor mashmallow coco she goes into overdrive, and here we are.
Finally, I'm with you. Removed from the (ahem) more zealotous sects of his fanbase (and consequential hatebase), I love Spike to little bits. And I hate feeling so alone in my viewpoint on what purpose he serves as a character and a person. Nothing I can do but strike my own path, I guess.
Thanks, and glad you liked it.
Oooooooh. you ARE cheeky, aren't you?
5794675
Thanks!
To be fair, I have a couple of Pinkie advisors (and a couple of Applejack advisors). It's because of them that I'm feeling infinitely more confident in writing Pinkie than I used to be even a year ago. She's really fun if you throw yourself completely into it.
5794748
well what do you expect, trying to have a life instead of constantly refreshing fimfic
of course you're gonna miss stuff
it's okay i forgive you
5794621
The finest of gems will lose their luster if overstressed or neglected.
Thank you for your feedback -- I'll have to take notes regarding whatever it was about my style this time around that left readers enraptured. For example, an earlier draft of this a lot more spaced out in terms of pacing, but got trimmed down a lot in the editing process.
While I wouldn't quite say that Spike has always been the voice of reason, his track record's pretty good, and if there's one thing that Season 4 and comics like the Nightmarity arc have taught us, it's that Spike is repeatedly willing to look outside of his own desires for the sake of Rarity's well-being simply as a best friend. (Of course, we already knew this vis-a-vis him and Twilight from show start, but there've been so many episodes and comics now, it's easy to forget.)
That's the Spike I like. The one free of baggage.
5794628
Thank you so much, Moon. I'm actually a bit relieved I'm back to meeting your standards.
Your Coco certainly advised mine subconsciously. I was rather shocked at how savvy yet humble she was in the face of a tornado like Trixie, and thus combined that ideal of her with the one I already had. I think it works.
You're absolutely right that I like writing Spike as a snarky, hilarious Alfred, though all the same, bless you for namedropping the KRC; their growth as support in the movies was nothing short of magical. (Oddly enough, I never actually got around to watching Buffy, though it wouldn't be hard to get my hands on it; would you say it holds up in 2015?)
Anyway, in the end, yes--you're going to see this style out of me a lot. It's... pretty much the only style I have.
And while I'll season it ever so often, I've learned that trying to change it leads to lots of toppled ponniquins. So for better or worse, here we are. Naturally I am glad that you are here and that you enjoy the show. :)
And then in the next edition of The Field Guide to the Everfree Forest, there was a new entry describing the "Nacho Chupacabra", a newly discovered beast of unknown origin.
This was beautiful. I loved every second of it :D And all I could think about was this song :V It just screams this whole situation. Excuse me while I go re-evaluate my appreciation for Coco.
D'aaaaaw!
5795437
Looked up the lyrics. You're right, that song does work.
5795419
Noted archaeologist and adventurer Daring Do wrote of her encounter with the beast.
"Delicious, but needed more cilantro."
Love the story, though the ending confuses me slightly. Are they in a Romantic relationship that Spike actually sanctioned because me very confused by that. In essence I think the shipping was implied too much, though I do like how it ended from a stylistic POV.
A good story, the little bit of shipping at the end is kind of out of place though. Better if they were just friends. Because friends are supposed to be there for you when your down. To understand a problem when it rises. Coco was that for Rarity.
Aaaaaaaah, so cuuuuuuuuuuute!
And that ending! Rarity always did know how to make a pony feel special.
5796182
5796179
(*looks around for the Romance tag*)
(*looks in the closet*)
(*looks under the bed*)
(*checks the fridge just to be sure; it sometimes hides there as a last resort*)
...yeah, sorry, doesn't seem to be around. 'fraid I can't help y'all on that one.
Thank you for the kind words all the same!
5796203 I know. It's why I was confused as you put a SoL tag but the end implies romance a bit anyway.
It's nice how you're reversing Rarity and Coco's roles as the mentor and student, here. Rarity is undoubtedly and without question the more talented designer, but Coco has more personal experience with the realities of fashion industry... and it shows here, very much to her credit.
5795378 It was, admittedly, years since I last saw the series, so I can't really give an unbiased opinion untainted by nostalgia goggles. It was good, but I don't want to compare to today's fare. That said, anyone who can watch Kamen Rider without rolling their eyes would probably weather it just fine. It's not perfect, but pretty fun nonetheless.
5796321
Because two lady friends obviously can't be close and mildly affectionate (like Rarity often is in the show) without wanting to jump each other's bones.
Besides, even if it is romance, it's hardly a major component of the story.
This is a lovely idea! When I'm done with my current series. I'm gonna read this one. Excellent job on maintaining the canon image.
Huzzah! The fluff of ages has come to fruition!
This first chapter serves as a barely-disguised Author Tract, but I think in this case, it's largely a necessity.
Rarity's plight is similar to many authors on this site, who write because they loved the idea of sending their favorite ponies on adventures of their own construction, and once they got popular -- more than a few hundred followers, over thousands of views, and so on -- suddenly, the steam builds within their bellies too quickly and they burn out. Their prose suffers. Their plots become boring. Their characters become flat. The anxiety of having an audience to entertain, an audience that genuinely likes being entertained by you, can be overwhelming if you make it your mission to entertain them through your writing.
And the scary part? It's a very easy trap to find yourself in.
I suppose it's true not just for fanfic writing, but for every entertainment field. I'm a live entertainer in real life, and though I'm new to the job, I can still see signs of this everywhere I go: one performer will rag on others because they just don't have what the performer has, another will build his act on things that suddenly draw a crowd and he ends up scared to change his routine too much, and so on. It's scary.
Oh, and the pointless squabbling between seasons? Totally a jab at fimfic, and I love it.
Only one chapter in, and despite the to-the-point beige prose, I think this story's got something good going on. I'll read the rest later.
You know, whenever I read the description, I was hooked; I was really interested in this even thought there are some other stories out there dealing with a subject along these lines. Unsurprisingly, I decided to give it a read... and just this first chapter already has my jaw dropped.
Now, I could go into detail about your wording or your grammar or something else technical, but honestly, that wouldn't be doing this story introduction justice. What might do the trick is how relatable this story is to, well, almost any creative type from a painter to a fashion trender. This range also, and possibly especially, includes authors. Frankly, in every creative person's life, they have a time when it clicks in their head; they snap, they break down, they cannot handle the burden of their processes. In fact, the people with the biggest fan base have the worst of it, in my opinion. They're seen as the people who should be the trend setters, the people to tell you how to do things! They're also expected to go along with society's definition on what's "in" and one-up in the process. Unfortunately, if they slip up once, even once, the critics and "haters" will be on them like vultures to deceased prey. They want to the poster child of trends to mess up, so that they can say "See? I knew that would happen!" Along with that, some fans, the people that keep the setters going, will slowly stream away to go after the n ext "big thing". Ever hear about how everyone has "15 minutes of fame"? Well, there's also the unspoken agreement of "15 hours of mental breakdown", too.
It's not always easy to see the role model, who you followed since forever, just completely break down and lose track of their passion for what they do, the thing that made them who they are. In that instance, you wanna help them; you want them to get back on their feet (Or in this case, hooves) and keep fighting (The good fight). You want to just slap them across the face and say " You got this! You can keep going! I believe in you!"
This beginning is an almost (If not perfect) representation of how a famous celebrity can break down from all of the burden of fame and anticipation and how their fans wanna deal with it (The loyal ones, anyway). I'm really excited to read the rest of this!
~ Unstable Imagination
Liking the story. I can't help but think the article writer should have recognized Fluttershy
5797674
Not a single goddamn soul in Manehattan recognized (or cared) about Princess Twilight.
And really, that's how it should have been.
5797674
Yeah, me too. Normally I'd have no problem buying a handwave of that, but it gets a little harder when we're talking about a fashion magazine.
5798404
Still disagree. Green Is Not Your Color was ages ago, even by show chronology, the Ponytones are local, the magazine publishing industry is practically run by freelancers, and having the author recognize a flash-in-the-pan like Fluttershy would have done zero for the article (it would not have changed the criticism; in fact in the most extreme of cases it might have called said criticism into question), the story, or anyone but... Fluttershy fans, really.
5798456 Photo Finish is apparently the biggest fashion photographer in Equestria and she hoof picked Shy as the next big thing. She'd be constantly thought of in a "Whatever happened to her?" sort of way
5798471
That's your headcanon and you are welcome to it. I have mine (which is, actually, no headcanon at all. I do my best to stay flexible).
Even if your hypothesis were canonically the case, bringing it up there would not have constructively added to the article, and worst case have bogged it down with extra unrelated baggage. Even if it had occurred to me during writing? It would have gotten cut in editing or even before it.
Like, I thought about adding it just now as a parenthetical aside, weighed the pros and cons, and in the end, I'm still against it.
5796705
Yeah I am really just idiot and I so totally do not get that two lady friends can't be affectionate.
I got what the author is going for no mistake, just took me by surprise due to the atmosphere/timing of it. Nuzzling I get. It's affectionate in horses. Kissing in that context with that lead up made me blink.
Wow... I can... I can really relate to Rarity here. In fact, I think a lot of authors and people can.
Very, VERY good stuff.
Oh, Spike, you awesome little dragon assistant...
Nothing more I can say about this fix except... Brilliant. Absolutely 100% brilliant.