Scootaloo rolled her eyes. Just as she wanted to speak up, something else caught her attention. One of Diamond's fingers had a darkened spot. The short coat there was singed. It looked fresh. Scootaloo mentally filed it away for later.
Hm...
The teas
No S.
Try as she might, Scootaloo failed to put a face to the name. It did sound familiar, though... "Do you mean Roar?"
You don't even know his name. Wow.
she broked down
broke.
This took a long, long while to write. Part of the problem was how Crusaders of the Lost Mark came along and dashed the animosity between the CMC and the SS/DT duo to pieces. Needless to say, I'm not going to take that as canon in regards to this fic. I may pick some things I like, but overall, CotLM didn't happen.
Well, not quite. It's more not-Season 5/6, if that makes sense. I had to make some choices that canon can't, won't reflect, and I hope my readers will forgive me if some things that happened in the show won't make it into story. That's always a problem if the primary text begins filling in the blanks, no pun intended.
After all, who could've predicted how and what the CMCs' marks would end up being?
Finally got to read this, and glad I did. This was a good chapter and it makes me wanting more. Now the plot is going to take off, Scootaloo and Diamond both have an objective, and the story will unfold as they uncover the truth. It's great stuff and I really hope you'll have more chapters coming very soon!
I'm kind of surprised that Scootaloo hasn't asked the obvious question of 'what's Leash day' yet. I mean, that'd be the first thing I'd ask upon seeing the poster.
8231099 They were mostly minor, some missed/misused punctuation and misused/misspelled words. I can't remember exactly where, might have to read through again. Regardless, it might still be a good idea to get a program like Grammarly and go through the stuff you have posted so far with it, it'll help cut down on the errors by pointing out potential errors, be advised that no grammar assistance method or program is perfect and it will think some of what you did was in error when it wasn't (thankful all the changes still need to be done by you and you can tell the program to ignore parts if you find its markings too annoying in some sections).
Wow great to see this story back. Now what will these two uncover I wonder?
Hm...
No S.
You don't even know his name. Wow.
broke.
So this is Pre Season 5.
7422617
Well, not quite. It's more not-Season 5/6, if that makes sense. I had to make some choices that canon can't, won't reflect, and I hope my readers will forgive me if some things that happened in the show won't make it into story. That's always a problem if the primary text begins filling in the blanks, no pun intended.
After all, who could've predicted how and what the CMCs' marks would end up being?
7437349
Fair enough.
Finally got to read this, and glad I did. This was a good chapter and it makes me wanting more. Now the plot is going to take off, Scootaloo and Diamond both have an objective, and the story will unfold as they uncover the truth. It's great stuff and I really hope you'll have more chapters coming very soon!
7484696
Thank you, Sirius!
The next chapter is definitely going to get out faster. That's a promise.
I'm kind of surprised that Scootaloo hasn't asked the obvious question of 'what's Leash day' yet. I mean, that'd be the first thing I'd ask upon seeing the poster.
Saw the premise, saw it hadn't been disliked into oblivion, predicted it must be decent, was correct. Following.
plz continue!
Noticed some, minor, errors. Other than that, I found the story quite enjoyable, so far.
8229968
Thank you! Feel free to point them out, I'll be happy to improve!
8231099
They were mostly minor, some missed/misused punctuation and misused/misspelled words. I can't remember exactly where, might have to read through again. Regardless, it might still be a good idea to get a program like Grammarly and go through the stuff you have posted so far with it, it'll help cut down on the errors by pointing out potential errors, be advised that no grammar assistance method or program is perfect and it will think some of what you did was in error when it wasn't (thankful all the changes still need to be done by you and you can tell the program to ignore parts if you find its markings too annoying in some sections).
8240014
I think its dead