Sea Ponies Alien Attack

by IamRainbowDash

(MINI) What made it all happen

So, what made it all happen? Here's the answer. Enjoy!

WHAT MADE IT ALL HAPPEN

Two days before the International Equestrian Naval Exercise, a group of scientists find a planet with lifeforms. Wanting to communicate with the aliens in that planet, they built a satellite array somewhere. They send a signal to that planet. Then a object comes toward them, crashing in the waters.

Comments

[Sorren]

lol wut?

[RavensDagger]

571247
I agree to this sentiment and repeat it.

Lol wut?

[Sorren]

571278 An then you take'ah the puddin an ya put the puddin on the spoon. uh... an then you ah eat it.

[abandoned2123]

Dear Sweet Celestia Pancakes...

Well, the chapters are ridiculously short and large blocks of text. I had no idea what was going on. While the crossover idea is... interesting... it's executed poorly. Try again and work on fleshing out your pacing and imagery. Remember that the first rule of writing is to show and not tell.

[Relevant Heavy Metal]

Terror On The High Seas - Alestorm

[Zrix]

Hmm, where to start...

Huge walls of text... -1

Tiny chapters... -1

Heaps of grammatical errors... -1

Ridiculous storyline... -1

Since when did Equestria have a sea? Or 50 caliber machine guns? Or battleships? Some explaining would be nice... -1

It's a cross-over of 'Battleship'... -1

All in all, it definitely needs some work

[OshiDood]

Please make a sequel

[Pikashiba156]

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