Chapter I waking up in a new world
Mlp Fim: The Fall of the Burnt Ivory King
Chapter I waking up in a new world
The sound of clashing, blades fill the air as one small six foot man faces off with a large 8 foot king. The two men have been battling to the death for a good ten minutes now and soon one of them shall fall...
*You hear the blades clash again and again as sparks fly from the two majestic swords.*
"Damn you are hard to kill! First a gauntlet of hell fire soldiers now this?!" The Chosen Undead says as he swung his broad sword at The Burnt Ivory king
"Well you didn't think trying to get our Ivory crown and our own soul would be easy did you?" I laughed as I applied a magical resin to my blade as it became a huge blue lightsaber.
"Oh screw you! Will you stop buffing your goddamn sword into a freaking lightsaber man?!" The Chosen Undead whined as he swung at my knees and slowly started to kill me.
Blades our clash again and again as the chosen undead shoves his blade through my stomach as I fall to my knees. My sight faded as I coughed up blood and from there everything faded to black and turned deathly silent...
*sigh*
"We have failed you my dear Alsana..."
You know that feel when you are in a epic fight then you are burnt alive and swallowed by flame and a few hundred years later you are awakened come marching out of a portal of hell fire and brimstone fight a six foot midget and in the end die to that same damn person?
Of course not you are just a normal person with normal life. I however am a King, a king that once was a great man and a even greater ruler. But then I was swallowed by the old chaos...
This was my life...
Thousands of years later.
It was night time in the Crystal Empire but a certain purple pony princess was awake and walking back and forth along her rooms floor. Twilight had been researching areas around the crystal empire and on a recent expedition she found a huge hole in the ground that was thousands of feet deep and was located directly under the Crystal Castle that her brother, and step sister lived in. Twilight had been up all night worrying and wondering what the bloody hell was down that hole.
"Ugh Twilight go to bed already its four in the morning. Stop worrying about that hole in the ground there is probably nothing about it that's special at all." A tired teenage Spike moaned as he looked at the clock on the wall.
"No spike I can't go to sleep when something as interesting and dangerous like that was just found!" Twilight responded as she kept pacing back and forth keeping spike up.
"Ugh I swear to god I'ma kill ya if you don't go to bed." Spike growled as Twilight could care less at his empty threats.
"What ever spike this is just bothering me too much I have to check it out!" Twilight said as she picked up her sattle bags filled them with supplies and left the room.
"Hope ya fall down the stairs." Spike said as he heard Twilight trip and fall down the flight of stairs that was outside the room and in the hallway. Spike laughed as this happened as he heard Twilight cuss loudly with each step she hit on the way down.
I groaned as I gained consciousness I was freaking miserable. My whole body hurted as I awoke outside the hole that dropped to where the old chaos was. I sat up and looked around I was honestly surprised at what I saw. The cathedral was in ruins and was in what looked like a cave. I then sat up rubbing my head as I was struck with a massive headache. I held my head and growled as my skull was filled with pain and aches. After three minutes the pain in my skull went away I sighed grabbed my ultra greatsword and stood up. I decided to head in the direction of the light I saw ahead of me. As I walked out of the doorway I was met with what looked like a dungeon like cave. I scoffed and walked forward until I saw the light of a fire or a torch to be exact. As I did so I came to a staircase that went upwards.
I calmly started walking up the steps, but as fate would have it as soon as I reached the top I would meet the weirdest freaking horse I’ve ever seen. About two minutes later I reached the top of the steps, and what stood before me I found somewhat strange, and oddly hilarious.
"Creature what art thou doing in my kingdom? What is a creature such as thyself doing in the city of Eleum Loyce?" I asked as she took a few steps back before tripping and falling onto her ass: "Well speak! State thy business in my kingdom!" I commanded as she gulped.
She then spoke, "W-what are y-you?" She asked as she started to tremble.
"I am what thou would call a human. Now what are thou state thy name and what are thine foul self doing trespassing on my lands?!" I shouted as she flinched.
"M-my name is Twilight Sparkle I am a unicorn mare and this is not your land it belongs to my brother, and sister in law." She said as I scowled then pointed my blade at her neck.
"Do not jest with me fowl pony this has always been my land. I build this kingdom from the ground up and thou art trespassing!" I shouted as she backed up a little.
"I-I am not lying this kingdom is ruled by my brother and sister in law!" Twilight said as she started to panic.
"Then take me to these ponies I want my kingdom back!" I hissed as Twilight nodded rapidly. She lead me through several hallways while I held my blade to her neck and eventually we came to a set of double doors. Twilight then knocked on the doors as we heard another voice speak up.
"Who is it? and why are you waking us up at this ungodly hour?" A male voice growled.
"Shining its me Twilight there is s-someone who wishes to speak with you." Twilight stuttered out of fear as I held the blade inches away from her neck. The door then opened to reveal a white stallion who came out of the door half awake.
"Twilight this better be important or I swear to Celest..." Shining armor stopped speaking as he looked at me in complete horror: "Twilight duck!" Shining armor said as he shot three pink magic bolts at me.
I swiftly dodged the attacks and scoffed when they missed me: "Thine aim sucks bovine testicles." I responded as he growled.
"What do you want?" Shining armor asked in a dangerously low voice.
"Not much to be honest. We want to know what year it is, what this kingdom is called, your names and whoever else runs your govenment, and we would want you to step down from your rule and give us our kingdom back!" I snarled as he sighed.
"We shall talk about this in a few minutes just let me get ready." Shining armor said as he went back into his room and came out a few moments later. We then walked to what looked like a dining room as I took the chair at the head of the table. Shining armor and Twilight took the chairs across from me.
"Now lets talk business..." I said as the Twilight looked around nervously while Shining armor narrowed his eyes at me and scowled.
To be continued...
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Fix The Bio and Chapter names, So They are Bearable for civilized readers.
-Mootykins
5674559 fixed em'
5674574
now in the next chapter if you so happen see flash sentry
FUCK EM UP
5678006 Don't worry If I ever have Flash sentry I will fuck him up.
5678073 I approve mortal. do not disappoint me.
5678627 I am a king and I am immortal
5678073 came to the wrong neighbourhood bitch
5768291 Lol the Ivory King is pissed
5768294 that he is.......that he is
good story keep it up
Since when did ponies say God?
WHEN DID PONIES SAY GOD!?
Anyways, you're messing up on some spelling errors, no biggee.
But, you also use * Which isn't really good for your stories. I'd suggest you should stop doing that.
Just a suggestion.
WHEN DID PONIES SAY GOD!?
6234689 ponies could in theory say God because they might worship a god or the god of the Jewish, Christian or the Islam faith sense I believe all three worship the same or a similar god in theory. But yeah sense they are human creation technically they might worship us as their gods or the god we worship
6234689 just because it's not in the show doesn't mean it can't be in written fics bro calm your tits
6235054 They do not worship Jewish, or Islam, or christian. Ponies are Ponies, in the show, they are directed as one belief, as the majority of ponies believe in the same religion. Besides, those are human religions, this is Equestria we're talking about.
6235517 Yes but there is a chance they could worship the same gods or maybe this is a saying twilight picked up in the human world. you need to keep your mind open to new ideas and such because I'm gonna tell you this a lot of the best stories on this site have ponies say that bro. so if your gonna be upset because of that then there are not gonna be a lot of stories you'll enjoy dude. And just because you don't worship god doesn't mean I don't because I do.
6237268 Never said that I dont worship god, I never said that so please dont bring that shite up. But I get where you got it from. I also get where your coming from but, as I see it, it would make sense.
And a lot of the stories that I enjoy, including and not including big stories, dont have this in it.
Besides, all big stories dont mean we should like them. Infact, I dislike a lot of the major fimfiction stories.
6237268 and how would they pickup human religion without other humans (Other than the main character)? It wouldnt make sense.
Oh, and a full review on your first chapter now.
You threaten Twilight Sparkle, who would immedietly stand their ground.
You put a blade to her neck, possibly passing other ponies who dont act at all?
Shining opens door, shoots you with magical spells, you have no reaction to the threat. Then all of a sudden he wants to talk?
Its a pretty weird story, especially since some of it doesnt make sense.
But hey, im just here to help improve your stories, and give you some feedback.
Take this advice or not, you decide.
6262870 I wrote this story a long time ago so I admit it's not that good. And to understand the sort more youyd need a good understanding of dark souls 2 lore
Update?
I got interesting into some of your stories. I plan to read the one with Sir Alonne, i havent read it yet because i only recently finished Dark Souls 2 and well Alonne killed me................alot.
I read The fall of the Burnt Ivory King first chapter and it seems really interesting. Still i wonder what would a story be if the 4 kings(Vendrick, Sunken, Ivory and Iron) all came back.
You had The Crystal Empire was build over Eleum Loyce but what abou the other kingdoms?
-The realm of the chagelings or/and diamond dogs was build over Shulva the sanctum city of the iron king
-The dragon lands were build over iron keep,hunter grounds, brume tower and harvest valley
-Canterlot rest over the ruins of Drangleic.