• Member Since 30th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen March 10th

RoyalUnicornJohn1994


Common guy who likes to play games and write art. Born and bred in Mexico. Viva mexico!

Comments ( 312 )

Great story so far grammar could be checked a little but all around ok.

... This chapter... I like it... ANOTHER!
i.imgur.com/MWPo0.gif

Please continue, please make another! I want to see the faces of Celestia and Luna, they ARE his family they need to be the first one inform and because of his condition they need to give him extra care, and deal with him carefully, and…oh is just to much, please, please make another chapter soon

to be honest, i don´t like Blueblood that much, but at the same time i like to see how the Human would turn his now bad reputation into a good reputation, like Blueblood 2.0 or something like that. I guess you plan to show the new Life from both of them, but i want to read it.

I hope it is going to be a long story, and while i don´t mind the sex Tag, i hope it doesn´t focus only on it.

I would prefer to read about the Human guy, but if you are going to show both, then maybe you could change the POV every chapter.
I suppose the second one is going to be about Bluebloos right? Something is telling me that he is going to be in jail after his first day on Earth.:pinkiehappy:

If you are going to make a romance, i would prefer a slow-paced romance, that makes it usually better.

I like your story, i would like to read more as soon as you can make it:twilightsmile:

I had an idea like this but I was just so busy with other works to do it, glad I could see it with some one else.
I can't wait to see what is to happens in the next chapter.

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If they change to blue blood he will be waking up in the hospital, possible the kid thanking him for saving his life, and he being unable to say anything because the kid and the woman that save him keep complimenting him, hmmm do you think Blueblood had a grinch face turn and became a good guy once he see how hard is life when he only complain and whine in the human world?

Also Oh GOD I can't wait to see how Celestia react when his nephew is good now I can almost see it coming she entering the room only to find Blueblood playing a childs game with some fillies and colts that where there for operations, mostly to calm them down and get them moral support.

'who thinks that Celestia will hug him with tears in her eyes the moment she see that'?

5653676 If they already know about the Changelings, maybe Celestia react otherwise:pinkiehappy:

But yeah it would be funny to see it.

5653697
hmmm true, but if they know of changelings, maybe hospitals could be equip with spells or other means to find them before they infiltrated, I mean hospitals could be good places for them to replace ponies, and now that he has 'amnesia' maybe the first thing they will do could be test him to see that he is actually him, not to mention that there were eye witnesses, when he crash if he was a changeling he could had changed back when he felt 'unconscious' or even 'death'

But yeah I can totally see Celestia thinking he could be a changeling (a REALLY bad one if he doesn't know how Blueblood act)

In general, I don't like fics that put a focus on blueballs all that much, but this one's got my attention. Nice job, can't wait to see the next one!

Well this is interesting.

Sure, I'll give this a go. Seems interesting.

can't wait to see everyone's reactions!

Between the piles of what was a carriage, he saw a white hand. Taking out the small pile of broken wooden pieces, the body of Prince Blueblood was found. Stretching his hand to touch the prince’s gut, he tried to feel his heart beating.

Ponies don't have hands. Might want to change that. unless this is anthro.
Edit: yup just checked it, anthro. Guess now we play the waiting game.

5660300
This happened to me too
I was like "hands? that's not right-WAIT A MINUTE, IS THIS ANTHRO!?!
*Looks at tags*
"yep, it's anthro" which sucks because I hate anthro story's
but it was too late.
I had already read too much of the story
I was too invested in the Characters
I couldn't stop

And just look at me now
waiting for the update
*sad sigh*

in all honesty anthro doesn't bother me that much, it's just only in stories where if you just changed some words around, made a few different observations, used hoof instead of hand this could have been about ponies.

no offense, this is just my personal opinion about anthro stories, but i feel that when i see a story is anthro when it could have been made quadruped it gives me the impression that the author is lazy, thus the writing will be lazy.
again, just my personal opinion in general. no disrespect to you or your story

But even with all that I'll probebly still read it when it comes out because I love Ponification and Blueblood.

I already know how this story is going.

Blueblood is going to be an ass in the human form, And Alex the human is going to make Blueblood the pony AMAzING!.

I will read this story.

It just better be good :)

Yes you have done something cool... don't stop doing something cool! Or else...

XD. I love this. So. Much. :)

this will sound cliche but what the heck MOAR

it doesn´t felt to soon, normally i would not like it if they start having sex just out of nowhere, and with nearly no reason, if you know what i mean, but you hav written the scene pretty good. Long story short i like it, even if i already read a Readheart X Sombra story, i think i would enjoy this pairing, it is something new for me.

The end of the story was pretty funny.

I think it is safe to make the story a favourite, it is maybe to soon for it, but i feel like i want to do it already.

No, kind sir thank YOU for bringing us such a awesome story, please keep going I just…each ending keep me wanting for more, I mean I had so many questions, starting with, is he and red heart starting a relationship now, or Red Heart did it because she wants to meet the prince and see if they can really be an item?

Or what would Mark do now? I'm sure he will be worry as well as what happen and start to call for help for the mysterious mares that just fainted in front of him, oh its explanation time and I can't wait!

Also will he remain with Red Heart from now on? because rape is something not very easy to forgive, and if not it will be nice that they end the relationship like adults and remain as good friends.
Oh! and I'm sure everyone is asking but will this be a harem story?

2x

After this nothing will ever be the same for Celestia's family

This is a marvellous story. Keep up the good work. Have a moustache. :moustache:

5676441
I'm not planning to do an harem. But, hey! I'm trying to be flexible when it comes to the future.
Maybe. Maybe not.
Who knows? :pinkiecrazy:

Aaaaand I am out. The sex came out of nowhere, and the general wording of most the story could be better. The only advice I have for you at the moment is work on your pacing, and get an editor or two. Until then, I am done, sorry.

Edit: To expand upon what I said earlier, the main problem is that it happened far too quickly, period. I mean, she doesn't suspect that it is just a plot so he can, well, tap that plot? I knew that there would eventually be sex in this story, don't get me wrong. I just figured it would take quite awhile to get there, since he has Blueblood's reputation, etc. Sex on his first day, though, in only the second chapter? That just... It makes no sense. It was rushed, plain and simple. Just figured I should add this, now that I am not rushing off to class, trying not to be late.

Damn this is amazing. Please continue!

5677147 oh good i am not alone with that opinion, while i somehow liked it, i think the sex happens to soon, it came out of nowhere, and i somehow can´t believe that she really is able to have sex with him already, after he raped her a few years ago.

5676908
Jejeje, that is all we need to hear, so far its a really good, and to be honest, I think we will be ok if he and Red Heart, don't had something, I can even picture him cleaning Blueblood reputation one mare at a time, and doing something similar that…that guy from Yugioh did, that he was extreme popular with girls, he remember each and EVERY single one of the girls that confess to hear, took the time to write to all of them in the graduation thanking for the memories and claiming he will never forget them and in some cases, when it doesn't work even helping them find new loves.

THAT is something out of respect, and like you say, you never know 'Blueblood' has a LOT of mares to apologies to and that could be a perfect way to help doing just that :raritywink:

Good chapter. Mark is doing well and Bluebood is probably already dead. :rainbowlaugh:

5677290 ... He WHAT?! I didn't get that far, and now that makes even LESS sense! Unless Redheart got some AMAZING counseling about her experience, she is not acting like a rape victim. I just... What? I'm not even sure I CAN give the story a second chance after hearing that. That just... I cannot even.

5677434 well i don´t want to be mean, but it is more or less like "Hmmm Blueblood is suddenly very nice,.....maybe i even allow him to rut me this time."

“When you apologized to me before… I decided that I couldn’t hold any grudge against you when the pony who raped me is gone.”

Yeah...that is more or less the most weird part. I mean, she don´t know that he really is a different "person"

I .....still like it, but i don´t like the reason and the time they had sex, i am not even sure if it is written down, how they actually got into that house, i thought they were standing just under a roof.

Okay, i can´t say much more, and like i said i don´t want to sound to mean.

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5677147
5677434
For some reason, this story has the sad tag on it.
Don't you think? :duck:
I'm just asking for you to wait a little for the next chapter.

5678271 ... Um, how does having a sad tag have anything to do with pacing?
I'm not out because there's rape. I'm out because things are far too rushed, especially considering said rape. I'll read the next chapter, sure, but I, no offence, doubt that it will solve what I consider to be a fairly large flaw.

5678271 They are ponies right?
I think you slip into a human description, it confused me just a bit.

5678860
they are antro, that is why the human characteristics

5678271
5678628

to be honest i have no idea how the sad tag would explain this, because right now it looks like she wanted it, but i have a similar reason as him, i think it happens a bit to fast, that he had a job and everything in that short amount of time, and the sudden sex seems to be a bit rushed.

The other reasons where just a guess, but it is a bit rushed.

I promise i give it a fair chance, and read a few more chapters, it just makes no sense right now.
The only thing i could think of would be that Red Heart is that ill, that she tries to make herself to feel better with good sex, to forget the rape in her past for a second. (I know what i tried to say here, but i don´t know if my sentence makes sense like that.

But the pacing is just not to my liking.

I like this, I hope the real blueblood changes too.

I like the premise of this story but it feels very rough. There a quite a number of grammatical errors and a heavily rushed feeling to it.

This could do for some thorough polishing. I'll track this, but that is probably the most I'll give it until the quality improves somewhat.

Ok…she is not pregnant, because she didn't show any sigh of heat, and I'm pretty sure there are rules of mares forbidden to work while in heat because of the pain it cause not to mention the alter of emotions, she didn't get pregnant 3 years ago because she say she was close on the heat, but not IN the heat, in other worlds PRE heat stated.

So…that leaves…that she is actually in love, and now…wow, she is fighting with herself because she is in love with Blueblood…but with REAL Blueblood!!!! oh god and this is clearly NOT that Blueblood so…she doesn't know if this is the one she fell in love or WILL fell in love.

Oh! the sex scene make much more, scene, Red Heart just wanted to remember her old flame, and now she doesn't know if the flame is still there?! holy crap this is serious

Huh, interesting.

I hope the real blueblood gets an attitude change, as his body trying tl sleep with everyone would be bad.

Twilight just stared as the prince got closer to her. By his reputation, she knew that he might have some bad intentions. Almost instantly, she prepared for the worse

could she not attack him if he should try something?, or has this something to do with him, just waking up?

I guess i understand that rape thing in this story right now, but because it wasn´t explained a chapter befor i think our reaction was still somehow normal.

I would suggest, that you make this story just for the new Blueblood, and make another one for the old Blueblood in the Human world.
You could take the same prologue, and should they still talk with each other somehow, then i guess you could just add it in both storys.

I don´t think it would interrupt much, but i feel like it would be better if the POV doesn´t change to much in this story. I don´t know if you even want to show Blueblood, but i guess so. I would read both, but i just felt like i would like it more like the way i suggested.

Good work, i won´t lie, the last chapter was good and weird at the same time, but if there is another good hapter like this one, i think i could think about to add this story to my favourites.

5711620

So…that leaves…that she is actually in love, and now…wow, she is fighting with herself because she is in love with Blueblood…but with REAL Blueblood!!!! oh god and this is clearly NOT that Blueblood so…she doesn't know if this is the one she fell in love or WILL fell in love.

his is somehow interessting, i would say you are right, but at the same time you are not.
i think she liked Blueblood because he was nice, i don´t know if they are similar right now, but i guess the new Blueblood is more or less acting the way she wanted him to be.

Then again maybe she doesn´t know what to think about it, because he is clearly not himself, maybe she is affraid what could happen if he would remember everything.

Normally i am a bit wary about them having still the heat thing, because i think of them like the Humans of Equestria, and not just evolved horses/animals, and i normally don´t like to think that they are an easy catch for every Stallion that want to have sex, but till now it is a nice explanation for what happend in Redhearts past.

“Was it everything a dream?”

fix this

“At least, be polite and answer me before you even consider slapping me again.” The prince said in an annoyed tone

comma dose not go there. also rewrite this

“Whoever you are, I hope you are using MY body in the right way.” He said as he looked at his reflection, seeing not himself, but the monster so many ponies hated, including himself.

Knowing Blueblood, he's probably already got himself killed.

I don't get the rape thing in this chapter.

So, what? Talking somepony into having sex is considered rape? Or is it talking somepony who's close to heat that's considered rape?

From what I can see, Blueblood was an asshole, but they keep talking about him like he was Sombra or something. That doesn't really add up. He slept around. So? Was he married? Was it illegal? Did he lie to Redheart here? From what we can see, actually no. He flattered her and she believed he loved her, but she didn't say "He promised to be my special somepony" but "I thought he could be my special somepony".

What am I missing here?
5712007
Like I noted, I don't understand the rape thing at all. And honestly, I keep thinking that if Luna or Celestia or even Twilight acted the way Blueblood acted, they'd get a pass by everypony.
5711620
It would be interesting indeed if Redheart felt unsure about her love for Blueblood since this obviously isn't the Blueblood she fell in love with. However, I don't think things are going to be so nuanced.

Look at how everypony treats old!Blueblood like the third coming of Nightmare Moon. I don't at all get why they're all convinced he's this horrible monster, but we're obviously meant to believe it too. I expect things to build up to a very simple contrast:

Real!Blueblood=bad, Fake!Blueblood=good.

But maybe I'm wrong. It could actually become less of a cut and dried issue as things go on. Maybe there's a servant of his who at some point notes how quickly they all jump to rape allegations when that's not really what happened. I would be very, very surprised if Celestia sent Twilight to make some friends when she was a shut-in, sent Sunset Shimmer away when she became too power hungry, and banished her sister when she tried to overthrow her, but also idly sat by as her nephew turned into a rapist monster. Sounds like a bit of a stretch.

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