Ever since she became reformed, Sunset Shimmer worked part time at Sweet Apple Acres, not just to help out her friend, Applejack.
But to see the teenager who worked at the farm...
A Sunset Shimmer X Big Macintosh story.
I like this new ship I discovered. Remained in my head for a while. So, I had to get the shipping idea out of my head before it made me a lil' nuts.
Special Thanks to MythrilMoth for the idea! Love you man!
Also, thanks to the following:
Edited by: Journey Blue, Monanniverse, Jordan Snake, The Canadian Patriot, and others I forgot to mention.
Pre-read by: Elusive Element, Manaphy, and others I forgot to mention.
I highly recommend you see these editors and pre-readers!
Chapters (1)
Your.
Pretty much the only error I noticed.
This was really cute, and an unexpected 'ship, so kudos for that. Like how you managed to convey so much with Big Mac through his body language and actions rather than speech.
Well did, author, well did.
This was wonderful, if a little quick.
I think this would have been even better if it had been drawn out into multiple chapters. Conflict in Sunset's head would have been really good, getting angry at herself for initially falling for "the enemy" before her defeat, trying to brush off those feelings as a nuisance as she pursued her goal of domination. After she got defeated, she could take on the job at the apple farm and start to actually develop more than just a passing fancy, and the times that she's at Sweet Apple Acres in canon (like when Big Mac comes and they share a drink, which you had in the story) would be a great addition.
If you worked at it, I think you could have easily expanded each of these scenes into a separate chapter, which would have decreased the tempo and made it feel less rushed. Romance is really, really tough to pull off well in under 5000 words if you're trying to tell it from start to finish like this.
As far as a non-KOTH and full-fledged romance, though, I'd say this is an incredibly solid first attempt.
I look forward to seeing whatever romance you write next.
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You don't wanna know how many I saw.
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It was nearly bedtime when I read it.
Congrats! Bravo! This is simply amazing! I love the way you handled this shipping. It actually made me enjoy this story. Because you you, this shipping is now my cup of tea!
Sunny Macintosh forever!
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Thanks!
"Sunset Shimmer went inside the barn where the baskets for apple picking were located. She came back outside, holding a wide straw basket.
"Ya can go ahead and pick the apples there." Applejack said as she pointed to one of the apple tree groves.
Sunset nodded and headed towards the grove. Before she stops and blushes, she spots a teenager who smiles and nods at her, a salutation that she returns, along with a wave. As she walks away, it is at a much faster pace than before, her face is hot, and she has no doubt it is crimson like her hair."
You wobble between past tense and present. That's commonly frowned on, pick one or the other.
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Tthanks for the constructive criticism.
Hopefully that alone didn't ruin the story....
Best love story ever I almost cried it was so sweet
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Thanks!
GASP!!!
I loved this story!!! I have a cousin who loves Big Mac's, I think she would enjoy this pairing.
I honestly never thought of this ...Hmm, it certainly is cute.
GOING ON THE FAVORITES LIST!!!
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Thanks!
One of the best I've red, just behind Equestria Transformers Act 1
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Thanks!
Such a beautiful story. I love this shipping.
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Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed this story!
Kinda funny looking back at this years later given Big Mac would later get a love interest voiced by Sunset's VA Rebecca Shoichet in season 7 with Sugar Belle.