Luna now sits on the throne of Equestria, and Princess Chrysalis rules beside her--perhaps a little too closely for Celestia. On another Equestria, Twilight Sparkle discovers some truths of her own.
Another excellent chapter, The way you are building up drama is quite effective. I can only wonder what will happen when people realize that Twilight has gone missing.
Sometimes this story makes my heart hurt, Luna, when she was finishing her intimacy with Celestia, really really made my heart hurt. To know that the one you loved most in the world is saying another's name at the height of passion, that just makes me feel so bad for Celestia. The murk shifts and stirs, and the more that is revealed the more sorrow I feel. Excellent work with this, really. You deliver such a story, one that strikes home in its readers.
oh you gotta be fucking kidding me , you're including an insurrection to free coldheart? 1 i thought you stated in the previous book at the end that the frozen chamber thing is powered by coldheart's 'heart' herself and will never unthaw until she learns to love again or some shit and 2 who in the fuck could possibly want that bitch back? everyone was under her mind control and nobody actually liked her right? and 3 how the fuck could applebloom be so stupid as to go along with such an obviously bad idea of trying to free coldheart? you better be cooking up some danm good reasons for these actions.....
i don't think the term organic should ever be used in equestria in such a fashion , ponies don't have any facilities for poisoning their foods so to suggest that there is such a thing by specifying something as being organic seems wrong.....
oh heh and i was going to ask soon how many more years till the next story update was going to come from you , but now you set that worry aside :D .....
sigh and here i thought the previous chapter was setting the stage for the events of this book , clearly that was done even more so in this installment , hopefully things get moving soon so to say.....
also , something else i thought of , you should make some like prologue chapters for each book stating all the major events and character changes that have happened in that book so's to make for easy catching up to speed or recalling the current state of affairs for any given book......
5611564 PREVIOUSLY ON PONY BALL Z THE TYRANT COLDHEART WAS FUCKING EVERPONY'S SHIT UP IN THE REAL EQUESTRIA AND TOOK OVER THE CAPITAL CITY OF CANTERLOT CAN OUR HEROES FIND A WAY TO STAND UP TO HER INSANE POWER LEVEL? FIND OUT inthenextupdatewhichwilltakehalfayearcausethere'ssomuchtowriteIN 20 MORE EPISODES OF PONY BALL Z.....
A small style pushed its way onto Celestia’s face.
Perhaps you meant "smile"?
“Yes! Chryssie! Yes!”
Apparently it is not all in Celestia's mind. There is a cuckquean's horns upon her brow.
Once all of your concerns are outlined, we can put together a plan that will be address them as a whole.
This should be "be addressing" or just drop the "be" altogether.
“Ah think ah know why you’re here!”
This should be capitalized.
“Applebloom?” The name came out slowly, and barely loud enough for anypony besides her to hear
Can you tell me that, ‘Princess?’” Applebloom asked. “Why help?”
“For her, obviously!” Applebloom yelled.
“Why aren’t you?” Applebloom asked suddenly.
Did you know that the word "literally" is misused so much that the dictionary people, in total and utter defeat, added "virtually" as a secondary definition? "Apple Bloom" has a similar problem. "Apple Bloom" has been misspelled so much in the fandom as one word that it has become, to some, an acceptable secondary spelling. However "Apple Bloom" is two words.
“Yeah, well, 1.)ah don’t see exactly what you’re offerin’,” 2.)Applebloom said loudly. “All 3.)I can see is another alicorn, and we all know what they’re like.”
1.) This should be capitalized. 2.) This is two words. 3.) Missing accent.
“Well, it was a helluva example!” Applebloom shouted back.
Twilight could hear the temper rising in the crowd, all lead by the far too familiar voice of Applebloom.
“That…that was Applebloom. An older version of Applebloom, anyway.”
Applebloom is her baby sister.
Oh, Applebloom, remember the goal.
"Apple Bloom" is two words.
“Like I trust you,” Applebloom sneered.
Missing accent and "Apple Bloom" is two words.
“Ah hate you,” Applebloom said.
She watched for a full minute longer before Applebloom turned and left the room.
"Apple Bloom" is two words.
“After all this time, you still do not understand me or my changelings, do you Celestia?”
Missing comma.
“Idon’tlikethis,” Twilight mumbled.
I am not sure if you did this on purpose or not, but I thought I should point it out.
She leaned over and muzzled Twilight gently on the cheek.
"Nuzzled."
Interesting chapter. I only wish I had gotten to it sooner. And I may have jumped the gun on that cuckquean's horns thing.
I did not show this fic in my read list until today. I need to catch up with this and next chapter.
I really hope that Trueblood can help cut down the kangroo court and prejudices of the court. After all even with the laws to prevent mistrials, and things to give a fair trail to the accused. As for Cadance. I really hope that she doesn't become another Fantasia Coldheart.
Another excellent chapter, The way you are building up drama is quite effective. I can only wonder what will happen when people realize that Twilight has gone missing.
Sometimes this story makes my heart hurt, Luna, when she was finishing her intimacy with Celestia, really really made my heart hurt. To know that the one you loved most in the world is saying another's name at the height of passion, that just makes me feel so bad for Celestia. The murk shifts and stirs, and the more that is revealed the more sorrow I feel. Excellent work with this, really. You deliver such a story, one that strikes home in its readers.
Oh Luna, no... you didn't call out another mare's name... Poor Tia. I don't think this will end well.
oh you gotta be fucking kidding me , you're including an insurrection to free coldheart? 1 i thought you stated in the previous book at the end that the frozen chamber thing is powered by coldheart's 'heart' herself and will never unthaw until she learns to love again or some shit
and 2 who in the fuck could possibly want that bitch back? everyone was under her mind control and nobody actually liked her right?
and 3 how the fuck could applebloom be so stupid as to go along with such an obviously bad idea of trying to free coldheart? you better be cooking up some danm good reasons for these actions.....
i don't think the term organic should ever be used in equestria in such a fashion , ponies don't have any facilities for poisoning their foods so to suggest that there is such a thing by specifying something as being organic seems wrong.....
oh heh and i was going to ask soon how many more years till the next story update was going to come from you , but now you set that worry aside :D .....
sigh and here i thought the previous chapter was setting the stage for the events of this book , clearly that was done even more so in this installment , hopefully things get moving soon so to say.....
also , something else i thought of , you should make some like prologue chapters for each book stating all the major events and character changes that have happened in that book so's to make for easy catching up to speed or recalling the current state of affairs for any given book......
5605278 1) Yes, that's right. 2) Is that right? 3) I hope that's right.
And I like the idea of a "Previously in Who Rules?..." thing. Might have to go back and add that in.
5611564 PREVIOUSLY ON PONY BALL Z
THE TYRANT COLDHEART WAS FUCKING EVERPONY'S SHIT UP IN THE REAL EQUESTRIA AND TOOK OVER THE CAPITAL CITY OF CANTERLOT
CAN OUR HEROES FIND A WAY TO STAND UP TO HER INSANE POWER LEVEL?
FIND OUT inthenextupdatewhichwilltakehalfayearcausethere'ssomuchtowriteIN 20 MORE EPISODES OF PONY BALL Z.....
Perhaps you meant "smile"?
Apparently it is not all in Celestia's mind. There is a cuckquean's horns upon her brow.
This should be "be addressing" or just drop the "be" altogether.
This should be capitalized.
Did you know that the word "literally" is misused so much that the dictionary people, in total and utter defeat, added "virtually" as a secondary definition? "Apple Bloom" has a similar problem. "Apple Bloom" has been misspelled so much in the fandom as one word that it has become, to some, an acceptable secondary spelling. However "Apple Bloom" is two words.
1.) This should be capitalized.
2.) This is two words.
3.) Missing accent.
"Apple Bloom" is two words.
Missing accent and "Apple Bloom" is two words.
"Apple Bloom" is two words.
Missing comma.
I am not sure if you did this on purpose or not, but I thought I should point it out.
"Nuzzled."
Interesting chapter. I only wish I had gotten to it sooner. And I may have jumped the gun on that cuckquean's horns thing.
Poor Trueblood.
~KBO.
5615060 I honestly did not know that Apple Bloom was two words. I will correct that! And thanks for the rest of that info, too!
And yeah, there's still a lot of personal stuff to go with Tia and Luna. (Though right now we're looking at a five chapter story...)
tail
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Looked at the comments section, and you're comment about AB.
vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/mylittleponyccg/images/8/85/CrystalGames_019.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20141122070049
________
I did not show this fic in my read list until today. I need to catch up with this and next chapter.
I really hope that Trueblood can help cut down the kangroo court and prejudices of the court. After all even with the laws to prevent mistrials, and things to give a fair trail to the accused. As for Cadance. I really hope that she doesn't become another Fantasia Coldheart.
Oh, reaching for mind control via love, Celestia? Not cool.
Chryssie is awesome.
Cya
Raziel-chan