An average man, a Nurse Joy, and a Mankey all wake up in the Everfree Forest. While there they constantly get lost again, and again each time encountering outrageously insane, unpredictable, and unexplainable characters.
Chapters (7)
Cookie_Girl
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Sorry couldn't resist!
5528733
Don't ever apologize for that!
A waste of oportunity to make Dot say : "And I am adorable!"
Sorry, but as old as it is, I loved that joke.
Confusing start, but concidering you ARE aiming for madness, I should be surpriced.
Okay... I must admit the phacing here is quite chaotic. One moment they all leave for the castle and in the next moment they are down with no explanation whatsoever. Not to mention the last bit, which was compleatly out of no where.
I would say you work on that a bit more. I understand this story is not meant to be taken that seriosuly, but that doesn't mean it had to be poorly writen. I see potensial in it, specially since there is no comedy centred story so far.
An extra: if a character brake the fourth wall, don't be too obvious, neither use words like screen. This is no TV so its a bit confusing to read that (even though we are reading this from a screen). Also, if someone makes use of the magical sached, don't make so much enfacis on it, just make the character "pull out X obgect" and then use it. Otherwise the joke feels a bit forced.
Sorry if I am too nipicky (Specially when I have such a terrible grammar) but I repeat, I see potensial here.,
5529403
... Are you questioning my insanity?
To be fair I wrote both chapters on the same day and literally just pulled everything from out of thin air.
Your points are fair though and I'll try to have a more thought out plan in the future.
Maybe some different text type for fourth wall stuff like this .
5529403 New chapter
i also just realized why there is a nurse joy in this
wait...... how can scary understand her?
5604251 please keep in mind that this is literally all random. If i remember correctly i gave her a magic necklace.
ah the blue blood abuse it shall always be hilarious
OH MY GOSH WE GOT CANON!
YAY!!! COOKIES!!
Also, random chapter is random as always. *Grabs the cutest Pokémon with the Cute Charm Ability to ever exist, gets it pouting and puts it in Stag's face thentalks for it* Pwease update your stowy.
5831494 Be patient. I'm going to spotlight a character with a thought out and (at least compared to the rest) serious chapter.
After all chaos without order is just normal, and that's boring.
5831553
True...
Also... Hey Wakko, you forgot your anvil!
*Laugh so hard I have a heart attack, die, come back as a ghost and laugh hard again*
SO... MUCH... CHAOS!!!
http://whec-assets-live.s3.amazonaws.com/2014/11/44500_9e4136c06f181ba6e528cde7777b0d19.jpg
that is all also joker good luck with the in law you might need it.
You done good with writing Kabutops
you done good
i also wonder who's gonna say one of her trigger words first
5925522 Probably Joker. Won't find out for a while though, need to work on other world.
What do you think about my oc villain?
5901119
5903497
5925608 i like 'im
5925677 Technically he's not an oc (obvious from the video link) but I LOVE his character! He isn't really bad in the same sense as other villains, but instead he is simply greedy and gluttonous. I think he comes off as more truly evil than some of the more aggressive baddies.
RUSTY! FROM DORKLY!?
5940868 oh, you're already read it.
Dorkly?
OK, first: sorry for not having seen this before (Ithought you haven't continued this) and second: How will a rock hit Weiss after so long! I don't question the distance because comics.
6059001 don't worry about it I have a plan to make it not matter...just let me get the next chapter out and you'll see.
IT'S THE ADORAPOCALYPSE!!! RUN!!!
6122227
It's the Pikadorapocalypse.
6122638 it has returned and oh sweet lord the candy is doomed lady mew save the candy