hmmmm

lets see where this goes

>>617656617656     I the great and powerful    well also stay to see what happens

Oh I saw this one in Equestria Daily! Didn't read it though .... Will read now!

Ah, hell. I was hoping to get first post for once! That's what I get for forgetting to check my email. Oh well, still happy to see this here! So much easier to track stories on FIMFiction, in my most humble opinion.

Oh, I LOVE this story. So glad to see it here!

Five comments in the first ninety minutes? Sweet cider, I really should have uploaded here a LONG time ago.

I'll be spending the majority of tonight updating the story with the chapters-to-date. Expect chapters two through nine to be available before too long.

And for anyone who has followed from EQD or fanfiction, here's an update: chapter ten is very nearly completed. Cyros and I are estimating a release on the 23rd, but it could very well end up being the 21st instead. Stick with us, and we'll help you get a pony fix this summer.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

must...know...more

:D

yay updates updates UPDATES

>>618451618451 Sheesh, you read fast.

I'm nearly done with putting in the chapters. Sit tight a moment longer, and you'll have half of a full story to enjoy.

shits bout to get serious

:D keep it up

Dunno how many times I've read this particular chapter, but I still find myself somewhat mesmerized by your description of the magic that's subsumed Rainbow Dash. I can practically visualize it, sometimes.

Jesus I was surprised when I saw eight more chapters

EDIT: Still haven't read the second chapter ,don't know how this comment got to chapter 9 lol

>>618736618736 Cyros tells me the same thing. Apparently, detail is my strength. It makes sense, I suppose, but that also means that conversations are my weakness, and THAT is most definitely the truth.

>>619871619871 Magic, that's how.

Ok, this story is pretty interesting, but certain things keep making me pull back from it. I don't think Rainbow's friends would ditch her that easily, and I don't think they would automatically assume she was a murderer. Like you mentioned, it was magic that killed the wonderbolts, and Dash is clearly incapable of such (being a pegasis and not a unicorn). I would have thought that Twilight at least would have gotten more into the investigation, if only to understand it better and help her friend. I know a lot of this is because you probably want to get to the real plot you have planned, but it just trips me up how easily everyone gives up on Dash, who is the element of Loyalty and would thus have the least legit reason for hurting her idols or her friends without being under the influence of some other malevolent force. Anywho, rant over, I shall continue reading now

>>620050620050

>>620187620187 Valid points. Allow me to address them:

Concerning Rainbow's friends ditching her: This wasn't up to them. Given the situation, they were not able to defend her name, while Spitfire openly blamed Rainbow for the deaths of her teammates. Over time, Spitfire's accusation became the accepted 'truth' for the residents of Equestria. Because Twilight and co. had no facts with which to counter-argue, nor could provide clues to Rainbow's whereabouts, they were left with no choice - they had to move on without her, under the guise that she was at fault.

Concerning Rainbow's friends assuming she's a murderer: This isn't actually touched on until chapter seven. In fact, only one pony (besides Spitfire) thinks Rainbow is guilty. The rest try their best to not have an opinion on it, because even thinking about it makes them sad. Applejack is the only one who will openly defend Rainbow Dash and still claim she's innocent of any wrongdoing.

Concerning the magic: This is discussed in chapter six, in quite a bit of detail. Remember, this is a thriller/mystery story, so not all the facts will be known from the start.

Concerning Twilight investigating: She did. She spent nearly a full month looking into the dilemma, but was unable to turn up anything useful. She eventually dropped the subject as time went on and other issues demanded her attention.

---

Anyway, yes, please read on. You're bound to find some answers, but don't hesitate to raise any further questions.

Sweet Odin, that was freaking awesome. Gotta let the epic sink in, so as not to take it for granted.

Oh, saw just the one thing you might want to look at, here:

“A pony’s honor. You know, the difference between fillies and mares, guards and villagers, rulers and beggars. Where does it lay?”

The first part of your three comparisons on honor is backwards, I think. If you're setting them up as 'more honor -> less honor', I'd expect Mares would come before Fillies.

[/nitpicking]

>>628406628406 Hmm, you have a point. I never considered that line too much after I wrote it, especially since I wrote it over half a year ago. I'll take a look.

Wow. Spitfire's a bitch.

>>632915632915 Think so? I love how she turned out, personally. Don't forget all that she's lost - her bitchiness isn't unfounded.

this story intrigues me

>>655263655263 Glad to hear it. That has been one of my goals with this project.

this is cool bro

let go for even more :D

>>656163656163 Read on, brony, read on.

love the story, i must see more

>>656450656450 Be prepared to be taken for one hell of a ride. The best is yet to come. That I promise.

yes

looks good bro

Mushroom.

Good job. I can totally picture Rainbow Dash eating a mushroom. o_o

>>706991706991 Om nom nom.

Good thing Rainbow played Mario as a filly. She knows exactly what mushrooms are safe to eat.

YES its finaly on fimfiction

WOOO YEAH, ALL THE SEXI PONES.

ALSO i stand by my initial belief that suicide-as-drama is in NO WAY cliche'd or overdone. At all.

another chapter done

>>756011756011 Aye, I finally managed to get a response from the EQD folks. With any luck, I'll get the Googledoc links scrubbed, and go FIMfic-exclusive.

>>756292756292 Considering these ponies love their life and normally would not want to kill themselves...yeah!

>>756765756765 Only seven more to go.

Now that's a powerful friendship.

Now that Rainbow Dash is back then the Healing can begin, right ?

Also when is Rainbow Dash going to be meeting up with the older Scootaloo in your storyline ?

You did a great job balancing the royalty of the Princess of the Sun with a justified factor of being a ruler.

Please do keep up the good work upon such a great storyline like this one.

Rainbow Dash decides to seek forgiveness from the one mare she’s wronged the most - Spitfire, former captain of the ruined Wonderbolts.

Image: http://ponysquare.com/file/pic/photo/2012/04/9a9e64b60a80fa9b6e3e3a51ac5aee4c_500.gif

Update!

Image: http://iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/130499998304.gif

(Now, quiet! I'm trying to read )

>>756820756820 It's magic!

Eeyup, her road to healing is underway, and the start was quite rough. But she can make it, as long as she has help along the way.

She'll encounter Scoot eventually. But that's a later focus. Just relax and enjoy the ride.

Thank you! I was trying very hard to capture Celestia the mare, rather than the tried-and-true Celestia the Princess. I'm proud of how she turned out.

I sure will! Thanks a million.

>>756835756835 Bwahaha, cue the sweet rave music.

>>756928756928 Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes ye-

OKAY WE GET IT YOU SHOULD READ NOW.

this had better not turn into a appledash fic

>>759420759420 While I support Appledash, I have no intentions of this turning into a romance story. No, AJ and Dashie are best friends, and nothing more.

If your concerns are from the end of chapter eleven, then just consider what Applejack is going through. That should clear up some worry.

>>758704758704 When the kingdom is threaten, send Twilight and friends. But when Luna gets hurt, the gloves come off and steel plated boots get put on!

>>765678765678 I would like to kindly say "HELL YEAH!"

Can't wait for the next chapter!

Though I must say: Is it me or has the story taken a slight sad turn?

Anyways love it and I am excited for the next chapter already

>>785055785055 You're not mistaken. This story comes in three acts, six chapters each. We're currently in act 2, "The Pariah", where much of the drama and mystery is revealed. It's also where nearly all of my "character abuse" takes place, though I can never bring myself to hurt them too much.

Act 3 will be arriving with chapter thirteen, and that's when answers will come and the real battle begins.

On a side note, chapter twelve is in-progress right now. I plan on releasing it very soon, then taking a small break while chapter thirteen is made. So you'll be able to see Spitfire soon, then you can chew over the latest development for a bit.

Woot for awesomeness! Bring on more chapters!

dam

>>822853822853 My friend, it will be my genuine pleasure.

>>822858822858

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>823533823533 Surely you mean

Image: http://iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/130499998304.gif

Wow really deep!

Good chapter certainly

can't wait for the next one

>>824906824906 Thanks! Chapter twelve is easily one of my personal favorites, and I'm glad it turned out so well.

>>824913824913

It certainly did

Wow, that was  both emotional and beautiful to read.  I mean just wow...That Spitfire truly is an inspiration...just like her mentor was.

In a way you were right in saying that both ponies learned something about forgiveness in each other that day. So now I can't wait to see what happens when Rainbow Dash encounters Scootaloo after all this time...

I can almost tell that will be as emotional as this one was....right ?

Please do keep up the good work upon such a great tale as I Can't wait to see Act 3 get started.

>>825452825452 Many thanks! The Spitfire that exists in this story holds a special place in my heart, regardless of where the show's canon may eventually take her. There's a reason she's my favorite bg character.

When Rain and Scoot finally meet, I do plan on having another emotional turnout. And I hope it will end up being half as good at chapter twelve is. But that's for another time - I ain't spolin' it.

Wow. Just... just wow. That was so powerful, so emotional. I almost got misty, seriously, and I don't do that. Only once before has a story got THAT strong of an emotional response from me. Bravo.

>>826839826839 Wow. I wasn't expecting to cause such a powerful reaction! Thank you - I'm honored!

Why has it taken me this long to get here?

>>10630541063054 Dunno. Hi, by the way, and welcome to the only official version of the story left on the net. Every other medium doesn't get as much love as here. =3

So howdy, Travis. How are ya?

>>10643271064327

Good how bout you?

>>10795491079549 Tired as hell, worked to the bone, in desperate need of shoe shopping, and about to be buried in bills. Plus trying to get back in school.

So...good! *Demented eyes* It's all good!

*Ahem* Let me get you a little info to help get you up-to-speed:

→ Many of my Blogs entries here are about the story, and provide insight and interest to the tale.

→ My other story, Not Yet Ablaze, is an aside to this one. Read it if you wish.

→ The final act of the story is in the works (writing chapter 14 now as I type this), but the chapters won't be uploaded until chapter sixteen is done. Yes, there's a plan for this, don't worry.

Feel free to browse, and happy reading.

I'm not much at home in the fanfic scene, but I feel this fic is not known quite enough. I only heard of this today and went through the whole of it in one sitting. Your scenes are told so vividly and the characters have such depth to them that it was simply impossible to stop reading this. Looking forward to the rest!

>>12973291297329 Many thanks. Yes, it's my dream to one day gain recognition on a much larger scale. For now, I'm content to write for the faithful few who do know of me.

Yes, this story is a landmark in my works - nothing else has come close. I've got chapters thirteen and fourteen done, and am about halfway through fifteen now. Some of my influential readers (and my co-author) have agreed to wait for most of Act III to be done before the story gets updated. Something to help stem the agony of the cliffhangers you'll see in the coming chapters.

Out of curiosity, how did you hear of this?

>>12973561297356 I browse through the archives of EQD occasionally, looking for interesting stories, music and PMVs and this caught my eye, so I decided to give it a go. Sometimes, I come across amazing pieces of work that appear to have been forgotten by time. The post that pointed me here was about 10 months old!

>>12977391297739 Ah yes. You probably saw the various Google Documents comments I used to update people. You know, I like EQD a lot. But being able to maintain story updates on my own terms, here on FIMfic, is much more appealing. And since I didn't gain a large audience with the EQD post, I pretty much have to rely on this site.

>>12977551297755 I hadn't seen those comments yet (jumped right in), but I do agree that FIMFiction is a lot easier for readers what with email notifications and all. I haven't had the honor of using it as a writer yet, but I can assume that it's a lot easier if you don't have to wait for others to update your story.

>>12978131297813 WORLDS easier. It's no small wonder than there was such a huge exodus to FIMfic once knighty coded it. I'm very grateful.

Bah, but you're not here to listen to me rant. Sorry.

>>12978181297818 Don't worry about it

So not to be needy or anything, but did this thing go on hiatus or has life just been busy on your end?

'Cause this is kind of fantastic and I am fairly certain the suspense is literally killing me.

>>15430761543076 Some from both columns, actually. I just got back in town from my cousin's wedding that was 250 miles away, and I've been really swamped with holiday prep at my work. A job at a supermarket is no small task, especially for a guy in my position. That coupled with demand for my large-scale project, Ikusa ~ Wartorn, I've had my time really stretched thin. My free time is so thin, it puts Slenderman to shame.

I've actually got quite a bit of work done on the final Act of this story, including fully completing Chapters Thirteen and Fourteen. Now, the reason they're not available right now is because of a small poll I had set up some time ago, inspired by the nature of the Act itself. Chapter Fifteen is effectively about half-done, and I'm making steady progress on it at this moment. In essence, I'm withholding Chapters Thirteen through Sixteen until all four are done, then I'm going to fire them out one day at a time, in order to give folks a good reading frequency and great time to absorb the details within.

After Chapter Sixteen, of course, I will revert back to my normal update schedule (see also: random).

I'm glad to see you've enjoyed the story thus far! Thanks for that.

>>15522431552243

Wait wait wait..

So the next bit is gonna be all in the same week instead of like once a month?

That is SO AWESOME!

Unless it's the end, then the sheer amazing has to be tempered with the sad that it is over.

>>15525131552513 Exactly. Act III, like the previous two Acts, has six chapters. The climax set of chapters - Thirteen through Sixteen - are all being made at the same time. That is to say, while I'm writing down details in chapter Fifteen, I may still pop in to Thirteen and tweak a scene. This is for two reasons:

1) I don't want folks to wait in a line for the cliffhangers I had slated for terribly long, so releasing them day-by-day sates their thirst. Until the end of chapter Sixteen, that is.

2) By working on them all at once, I practically eliminate any continuity errors or mistakes in detail that would normally arise with my standard writing. This ensures the most plot-solid way to move forward, with the highest strength in detail and plot, and lowest chance of plotholes or bad writing in general.

I can't begin to tell you how eager I am to release these. I'm still shooting for a mid-December release for chapter Sixteen, and I'm pulling all the stops to see that goal met!

>>15525131552513 >>15525861552586 Scrap a bit of that one - I'll be leaving chapter sixteen out of the running, and instead will focus on thirteen, fourteen, and fifteen. The silver lining in that is chapter fifteen is maybe two pages away from being done. So it won't be long before proofing is done, pre-readers are commissioned, and the chapter is submitted!

And thus begins  a raghin of wrath

it's about time

>>15866241586624 Yes. Yes it is.

This was INTENSE! I LOVED this chapter and the fact it FINALLY uploaded!

>>15891591589159 Ohohoho, you and me both. Here is the first of three chapters uploaded across three days. Chapter fourteen goes up tonight!

Goodness, the amount of negativity in this chapter is virtually palpable...

I think this'll be my newest Darkfic to add to my collection of "Damn, that was so intense my heart's jumping like no other".

You've got a new reader supportin' you two! Now, onward to the next chapter!

It is finally time it seems.

Release Restraint Level 1...

Interesting magical theory for telekinesis, I seem to recall a similar magical law in the fanfic "The Immortal Game", although that law basically stated that when one magic-user is holding an object with telekinesis, no other magic-user can "steal" the object with their own telekinesis no matter how powerful they are.

Have you read that fanfic? If not I highly recommend it - it's probably the best Grimventure fic out there.

>>15911381591138 Thank you for your support! I only wish I had more dedicated readers back when the story began. Ahh, it's nice to dream, but I'm happy with just the few loyal folks I can manage to entice.

I have heard if the Immortal Game, but it's one of many fics I have not read. It's on my radar, though!

Stupid giant, evil ball of magic-absorbing darkness always has to ruin everyone's fun.

Alucard's such a douche.

>>15912311591231 Okay, THAT made my night!

I had a heart attack when you updated this at last! And here you go giving us three in three days; I am so excited!! :P

This is, by far, the best piece of fanfiction that I've read.

>>15934571593457 Oh, thanks, you flatter me. I'm sure there are a number of fics better than mine that you've read!

>>15936321593632 Pfft, at the very least, you're tied with one or two. Don't sell yourself short; this is an amazing story! :P

Uploading this one early because I've got an overnight shift at work, and I don't want to back-out of my promise because of it.

As was expected, great job on these past three chapters. I especially loved Luna's speech in the previous one. Excellently written and very well put together. Now all that is left is waiting for the epic conclusion; I'm sure it'll be worth it.

>>16319111631911 Luna's speech is one of my favorite scenes in the entire story. I can't count how many times I've read it - over a dozen, definitely.

I hope I won't disappoint with the climax and conclusion. There's nothing I intend to work harder on. I've already got two different versions of the introduction to chapter sixteen written, and I can't decide which one I'll go with!

I've been checking up on this fic on Fanfiction.net periodically; I fell off the wagon for a few months and come back and there are 11 new chapters. I you so much right now. ^_^

>>17505651750565 Heheh, I keep forgetting to check on the fanfiction edition for stats and such. Fimfic provides a better experience all-around anyway. That must have been quite a fall to miss eleven chapters, though, so welcome back!

Poor, poor Rainbow. I disagree with Applejack and Rarity saying that this isn't the same Rainbow Dash from before - obviously, she isn't, due to being an emaciated shadow of her former self - but through this I think she's proved her Loyalty a hundred times over. She left to protect her friends - struggled alone and in pain for years to keep them safe. If that ain't loyalty, I don't know what is.

I can't see this having a happy ending for her, seeing as removing the magic will likely kill her, and keeping her in pain isn't really an option, either. I realize this is like months late, but I understand the reasoning behind the whole murder accusation thing now - even if Rarity is a bit of a dink in assuming that Dash would want to harm her idols. She couldn't join them if they were dead, even discounting all of the moral reasons. So yeah, really enjoying this so far - Rainbow's plight reminds me a bit of something that happens in the Immortal Game, although this spin is really unique. Your descriptions were quite haunting, as I think someone before me mentioned as well. Anywho, off to read the rest - onward!

I don't get why her friends were all that shocked about the attempted suicide - I mean, it was either go get Luna to cure her or stay miserable and in never-ending pain and fear in the forest forever. If Luna cured her and she died, at least the dark magic would be taken care of and she wouldn't be a threat to anyone any longer, plus she wouldn't be in pain. Best case scenario, she lives and gets to recover - as actually happened. Not so tough a choice, really. Although I get that you were hinting that she'd rather die than be properly cured at all, so I guess I can see where that would be an issue - although she did think she was coming back to a world where everyone hated her and she was responsible for mass murder, so...

Anywho, still loving this, despite its rather dark setting. You really aren't helping my inner Apple-dasher - I keep trying to reign myself in because there's no romance tag, but you aren't making it easy Whatever, they're cuddling, I'll take what I can get.

In other news, I can't remember if Rarity's had her little bit of darkness removed - if not, someone should take care of that before it bites them in the flank. And really, Rainbow was under the influence of dark magic - she can't really be held accountable, or else Luna should've had to go to jail for trying to shroud the world in eternal night (after she escaped from being banished in the moon) which would have resulted in everyone dying from lack of food. Anywho, I'm done rambling now. Off to the next chapter!

>>18018131801813 Bahaha, very insightful! You've got a couple right ideas there about the story's plot, though I won't go into detail for those who are still reading. It seems my established twists were a mite too obvious, so maybe I'll need to work in a few more surprises for future tales.

Yeah, I've gotten some love and hate for folks expecting this to be an AppleDash romance story. Sorry, it's not so - they're best friends, and nothing more. It still leaves me lots of room to work, because conflict within the bonds is easier to expose, but at the same time, I tend to reach too far (being a supporter of AppleDash myself) and the line between 'friends' and 'lovers' becomes blurry. No matter what, you won't see romance in this story, sorry! Plenty of drama, though, so I hope that's enough.

Nice update and great speech by Princess Luna.

It was the right words to snap Rainbow Dash out of her funk.

So please do keep up the good work.

>>19196911919691 Thank you, I will!