**Omg XD
**
Chapters (2)
Animeyaoi
Joined 2nd Jun, 2014 ·
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A great plot yet I did find a lot of grammatical errors, such as at points you put 'there' instead of 'their' and you used 'than' when I knew it was meant to be 'then'.
Other than that, it was a great story yet I suggest you find an editor to proofread and check for unintentional errors.
Sincerely Sergeant Snuggles.
5403092 Thanks I'll be sure to fix those, and I'll find an editor band proof-reader.
Wow. Great read!
5481282 Thanks very much I edited the chaper quite a few times and the second one will be out possibly next week Wednesday.
5481327 ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ I am speechless. ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ
5481362 Ill take that as a complement, I suppose
Cool that it was left on a cliffhanger, so I'm thankful the next chapter is out!
I noticed a few spots where there could've been a comma (,) or a period. (.) If you'd like, I could be a prereader.
Thatwouldbesocool.
Good story so far, and I could be an editor for you. I came across many small errors, and places that could be improved.
I think that if you put a little more backstory in, it would help us to understand what's happening here. For instance, if I knew a bit more about what happened between the prologue and chapter 1, it would help us understand the scenario Caramel is in.