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Fresh from qualifying for the Equestria Games, Spitfire returns to her office to find a potential Wonderbolts recruit tearing up their application in front of her. Getting to know the recruit and figuring out why, the Wonderbolts captain finds herself with another reminder that even the elite aren't perfect.
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Sorry. Sunny don't lay it on the line WHY she cancelled her application.
There's one and only one reason that would matter. Botched rescue? Stuff happens. Dragon run in? Same thing. Tornado day? Okay, kinda pushing it.
But the Equestria games?
Spitfire and her team screwed over a teammate.
To try and steal ANOTHER team's best flyer, no less.
Despite the fact that they're the friggin' WONDERBOLTS (and there's NO EVIDENCE they couldn't get a replacement, or didn't have enough fliers anyway---and plenty of evidence saying they could) and so the qualifiers were in the freaking bag anyway.
She's also crap for how she handled Lightning Dust. Taking the most reckless recruit, buttering her up, giving her the Wingleader badge, NOT training or supervising her properly-- and then kicking her to the curb when the consequences get personally embarrassing.
Spitfire is what is known in military parlance as a BLUE FALCON-- a BuddyF---er. And noone worth spit is going to want a BuddyF---er as a CO.
5384148
Dang those are good points. I went into this story to try and be sympathetic to both Spitfire and Sunrunner's perspectives, but looking at it like that, she came across as a bit wishy-washy. She danced around the issue rather than confronting it head-on.
Only one thing to do; edit the story. Thank you for the critique.
5384148
As promised, the story's edited. Again, thank you for pointing out what I'd overlooked.
5384148 I'm so glad you pointed this out. Since joining ROTC I've experianced blue falcon attitude and it makes me sick. Nothing is a worse insult than screwing over the ones depending on you.
5490119 I'm glad he pointed it out too. I just hope that I can continue to get constructive feedback like that.
Speaking of, what did you think of the story itself? Did Sunrunner come across as consistent and interesting in her own right? Did it feel like I had the canon characters in-character, and consistent with how they were portrayed in show? If you didn't like it, that's fine, but like I said, feedback is good.
5490302 Everyone seemed in character and sunrunner was very consistent. I thoroughly enjoyed the story and am very glad you are not afraid to point out flaws in much loved characters.
5498839 Thanks! I'm just glad no one seems to mind that I'm going over territory that's already been covered. I don't plan on making a habit of it, but there will be times.
Chapter One: 5,057 words
3,125 words total.
5604334 I did some severe edits to the story and added quite a bit to the original version. That's why there's a discrepancy to the word count. No clue how to fix that beyond resubmitting everything.
5604462 Ah. Standard website annoyances, gotcha.
I've got to get more homework out of the way, but once I free up some time I'll finish reading and drop a review.
5604844 Appreciate that, thanks. Hope it's to your liking.
5605914
It's certainly one I've enjoyed. I like how accepting Spitfire was of her own mistakes, and how she went about apologizing to Soarin' (namely, the lack of bribe--and in pointing out how the "apology gift" is basically just that).
The Blue Falcon bit was an interesting bit of history, and you did a good job in developing Sunrunner despite this being a oneshot.
I do want to point one thing out, though--Star Swirl the Bearded and Tirek were around at the same time, but Star Swirl was also the teacher of Clover before Equestria was even a thing--even if he were extraordinarily long-lived, he would have died fairly soon after Equestria was founded. The Wonderbolts were formed from the E.U.P. Guard, which was made following Luna's Banishment, a long time after that founding.
5609866 Thanks. This story's part of a larger continuity, however, and I do plan on doing more with Sunrunner.
As for Star Swirl - have you read "The Journal of the Two Sisters"? Have that and the IDW comics in mind with your continuity woes.
A great story.
6276437 Thank you!
Just finished binge reading your series and I've really enjoyed what I've seen. Looking forward to seeing where else you decide to go with this universe.
6939800 Thanks very much! I'm hoping to have another installment in it finished and available for reading before the end of this month, but that's going to depend upon a number of factors. Still, fingers crossed.
1. The Wonderbolt's creed sounds like something from the bible.
2: Your character sounds exactly like R.D.
7405123 A lot of military creeds draw from one thing or another. And Sunrunner drew some inspiration from Rainbow Dash, yes, but this was my first story with her; I was still finding my feet.
Review this HERE.
7405123
It's in psalms.
Sounds kind of like the Lord's prayer for the Dead
9779918
Well, the original version was in Psalms.
9780454
My grandma know more about that she literally reads the bible for night reading and fun. me I'm atheist
9780782
To each their own, I say. So long as they aren't hurting anyone.
Wow. This put a lot of things into perspective for me while I was reading this. Thanks for writing this! You did good on it.
9833364
Thank you!
5384148
And the wonderbolts are supposed to be heroes but let's face it twilight and friends do the actual work of heroes.
11281268
Alas, the show's ambiguity works against the Wonderbolts in this case. They're pseudo-military, but excepting trying to stop a rampaging Spike, they haven't really done anything that counts as heroic, have they?
11281375
Yeah well considering exactly what do they do considering twilight and her friends take care of most issues. They couldn't save rarity and they failed against spike. They were not exactly screaming teammates. The nickname episode was horrible. Really a nickname that reminds you of something you might not wish to remember. Spitfire seems not very invested in making sure the wonderbolts are the best they can be. She was signing autographs when the cloud hurricane incident happened when she should have been watching the future bolts to make sure that they weren't doing something they weren't supposed to. She was all set to praise her until dash quit.
11281385
The nickname thing I'm giving them a pass on - that's Truth in Television, as anyone in the military can tell you.
11281719
Seems like a good way to cause a mental scar. Rainbow hated the name until it was a wonderbolts thing and then she was cool with it. If it hadn't been the bolts saying it was one of their things she still would have hated it.
11281742
Oh, I agree. Spitfire should've taken Dash aside and talked with her personally about it when it became clear that Dash had a problem with it. Would've saved everyone a lot of trouble.