“Hello everypony!” Luna called, landing next to Element Bearers and her sister. “Did I miss anything?”
We all know what Luna missed during the royal wedding. But some questions are left unanswered:
* Just what was the princess of the night doing during the whole ceremony?
* Where did queen Chrysalis come from?
* How did princess Cadence got locked in the Cantelot caverns?
* And how did the army of changelings invade Equestria unnoticed by anypony?
Such questions are answered in this short story, in which the queen of changelings meets a pony even more malicious and evil than her.
Chapters (1)
Some important notes:
1. The cover picture was made by EKFMikoyaN and I got the permission to link it here. Thanks!
2. I don't expect many people to read this, but if you do, please let me know where I screwed up.
Whether it's about the style, grammar or poor vocabulary, I'd like to know about it. If you noticed a misused word, a wrong Tense or some out-of-place commas, please leave a comment (that is... if you don't mind 
). You see, English isn't my native language so some mistakes obvious to many of you readers may simply go unnoticed by me. 
3. I had a really hard time deciding on the tags, so please, let me know if you feel they are incorrect (I don't know if I can change them once the story has been published, but the info will be useful for future reference, if nothing else).
I've read a bit of it.
Y'know? It's plausible, the way you built up the underlying motives for Chrysalis' appearance. The way you made Luna seem vengeance driven has the basis for a very good sorta dark adventure type thing where Luna overthrows Celestia for a time causing some big adventure and all that.
However as a Comedy/Slice of Life, it makes me feel conflicted. Seeing Luna (Character I'm fond of) turned out to be a soulless monster doesn't feel all that humorous to me. (Although I can definitely see where the humor might come in, like: The mare we all are head over heels for is actually quite the jerk. Dat Irony.)
(I probably just horribly misused the word irony, I apologize.)
Anyway, I think the whole concept you have going for you here would make an excellent basis for another type of story, but I think it falls flat when put into a Comedy kind of context. Put honestly? Good work!
I think it would have been funny if Luna was more a Comical Villain and not the serious, big bad god villain.
And on to the comedy tag... was the joke pointing out Chrysalis' failure in the finale? Because if not, I don't get the joke.
i think the REAL reason Luna didn't attend the wedding in the day and/or helped out in it because Luna might have her own castle. why else we never seen her in Canerlot in the day? let's remember those old ruins. possabley they had been restored and Luna has been hanging out there now. and let's also remember one impourent detail: the Show's main focus is a Bookworm
, A party-holic
, a southern steriotype
, a speed freak
, a nervious wreak
, and a cleaniness obsessed Fasthonesa
. otherwise, we would've have seen more of Celestia and Luna if what i said before wasn't the main focus, and maybe as well as more of the other characters.
Doesn't exactly feel like comedy. A little dark, but that's about it.
Still, the story was pretty good. So the only problem I see is with the tags.
Great story.
But it didn't really make me laugh. The comedy tag may be misplaced.
It was good. I am glad that i am not the only pony that sees NMM as a part of Luna that is still waiting to come back out.
Doesn't exactly feel like comedy. A little dark, but that's about it.
Still, the story was pretty good. So the only problem I see is with the tags.
Great story.
But it didn't really make me laugh. You could change the comedy tag.
It was good. I am glad that i am not the only pony that sees NMM as a part of Luna that is still waiting to come back out
All these above say what I feel about this story. :D
508215>>508470>>508669>>508769>>508952>>509097>>509601
). And apparently you can change the tags once you've submitted the story, so based on what most of you suggested, I changed the commedy to dark tag.
Thank you all for taking your time to comment on the story.
Like I said I had a really hard time deciding on the tags. Commedy was obviously a bad choice (I have no idea why I put it there, honestly
Slice of life apparently seems OK, because no matter how hard the villainous mastermids try, their plans are always thwarted by some goody four-shoes.
Two problems for me:
I just realized (once again) that I can't love "A Canterlot wedding" as much as other people do. So I'd better steer clear of any derivatives.
The other point is with Lunas reaction to the whole "Chrysalis is acting like a stereotype villain" thing: On the one hand she is genre-savvy to facehoof at the changelings mistakes, on the other hand she steps back like a stupid big-bad and simply allows it all to happen.
She even asks " Why are there no competent villains?". Well little Luna, the joke's on you!
Unless you want that to be part of the comedy of the story and I totally missed that.
516403
Yeah, the comedy tag was my big mistake (as most of the commentators noticed). Hence it has been changed to dark.
Of course, I could make Luna blow a fuse and wipe the whole Canterlot with her awesome dark magic powers (after all fics can stand everything you throw at them
) but it wasn't my intention. Rather than creating a whole different universe in which things took a totally different turn, I decided to use a loophole in the script to merely propose a reason as to why Luna hasn't been present at the wedding (and her other weird behavior). Thus she acted like she did in the story. You can (if you'd like) explain her lack of action by the (quite rational) fear of blowing her cover if Chrysalis failed (which she did).
One does not expect the mastermind to be the muscle of the operation. 
And besides Luna did lead the chagelings to Canterlot. Isn't that enough?
Great story any chance of a sequel?
1635483
But to consider it great? Isn't it going a little too far? 
This was literally the dreaded my-first-ever fic. 
But I guess it couldn't be as close to canon as this story. 
Dear God, I completely forgot about that one.
Anyway, no, I had no such plans; this was mostly a one-shot. But did you have some ideas what the sequel would even be about? As you see, this story was clearly tied to a particular episode. Unless, well, I decided to use King Sombrero in a similar manner.
507935
You screwed up with the entire premise. This fic is just another example of a botch job that spits in the eyes of the show, the fans, and everything that is FiM.
Honestly, I don't even know why I bother with fics that take the premise that Luna never stopped being evil. She's supposed to be able to hide that darkness from the Elements of Harmony itself? I get that there should be suspension of disbelief, but this is too much.
7266827
The way you describe it gives the story way too much credit anyway. Quite frankly, it's a terrible piece of crap that should have never been written; a terrible insult to every reader that should have been deleted a long time ago.
I'm truly sorry you had to endure it, but applaud you nonetheless for not only reading it but leaving a comment as well.
To be perfectly clear: all of what I wrote is not sarcasm (if there's any chance that it can be taken that way even), but my honest feelings. I hate this story more than anyone who have ever read it. I should have deleted it long ago...
I have no idea why you keep saying this story sucks, it's amazing and the only thing that I really have a problem with is that Luna was purified by the elements of harmony, o I'm pretty sure that would erase any of these feelings. Also, I read through the comments and I agree, there should be a sequel with Sombra. Otherwise, amazing first fic (better than mine), but I shouldn't be that surprised, considering how incredible A Fight Full of Surprises was. Great Job!
8193712
Fortunately it lies so deep in the bowels of fimfiction that very few ever reach it. 
Well, I'm more than glad you liked it. And thank you for your honest opinion and warm words.
Truth be told, I don't even have your kind of courage to even skim over the story once more.