Fellowship is Madness

by Imperator Chiashi Zane

Best Night Ever, Part 2

Kajiik tilted his head slightly as Iron arrived at the stage, “You’ve got something on your muzzle.”

“What?” Iron lifted his bracer and looked at his muzzle’s reflection. He couldn’t see anything, but he wouldn’t have put it past Longbow to try and get makeup on him. It wouldn’t have been the first time either. He scowled, “There’s nothing there.”

“Yep, and now you look like a proper guard. All huffy about everything,” the Zebra smirked.

Barkskin sighed, and checked her bracers again. It would be especially bad to have them slip up here, where everypony was watching. Her horn lit up slightly, a minor illusion, but more power intensive for her, her talent being in weather control, not light manipulation. The illusion would at least make it look like there was fur around her forehooves. She couldn’t show them off here. She couldn’t really honestly show them off anywhere, but in Ponyville a slip was less likely to get the entire city torched. Rarity had no idea what that pattern of scars was, but the stallion in the garden, Really, had identified them without even looking. He terrified her, but that information had been useful, if out of nowhere. She set her hooves back down, and started focusing on balancing Fleethoof across her shoulders. The Party pony was probably going to hover just a little bit above her anyway, but she could certainly take the load if she needed to.

Fleethoof slowed her flapping to a gentle one per second, falling into a steady hover. Not distracting, and not a particularly draining thing for a Pegasus who spent as much time airborne as she did. The only thing she had to watch was that her wings didn’t hit Blueberry, standing on Kajiik’s back.

The Changeling fluttered her nearly transparent wings, but nopony reacted to them. Not even in wonder. She made a mental note to check if the cake was drugged later, because if it was, that would be useful for the official reveal of Changelings in the Court in three months. Her brother would be there with Queen Chrysalis to make sure the meeting went smoothly. She would try to get the day free as well, but it wasn’t as reasonable for a second True Queen to be there. Lord Skunktail would be there as well, arriving via the Manehattan Express, and she had the feeling that two armies of Changelings in the capitol was enough. Her own did NOT need to be there. Plus, hers was mostly farmers.

Hammer Soot sat on her haunches, atop Iron Hoof’s armored back, talons upraised. This was possibly the most fun she had ever had at a party, with clothes on, at least. And the Princess was announcing them to the whole crowd. Maybe she would get to talk shop with one of the nobles. Or possibly more of them. If any of them had a brain, anyway.

Iron Hoof lowered his helmet, hiding his face from everypony. It wasn’t like he hadn’t already shown his face, but if he left his helmet off, he had the distinct feeling that Longbow would ignore the whole ‘Princess is Talking’ thing and try to suck his tongue out of his mouth again. Inside the helmet, he heard the faint echo of Celestia speaking, not through the enchanted crystal that transmitted to every helmet, but through her own voice. It trembled on his ear-tips.

”These six have proven themselves to be the embodiments of what I always hoped my ponies could become. Because of their assistance in resolving the Nightmare Moon fiasco, I have decided to take them on as a special team. The Elements of Harmony are to be respected and any orders given by them are as my own,” she glared down at one particular noble, Prince Paladin Blueblood, ”And are to be followed exactly as intended, so no misinterpreting them, Nephew.”

The white Unicorn nodded so abruptly that his mane looked like it was trying to make a break for the stage, wrinkling his perfectly ironed uniform in the process, “Yes Milady. I understand.”
__
Almost before he had the chance to move, Iron was torn out from underneath Hammer, “Ok, enough of that. Time for your five dances. Let’s get started with the Fox-stalk.” The music rolled into the slow dancing beat to guide the ponies in one of the oldest imported dances from the Gryphon Empire.

The stallion sighed, knowing that he had no choice. Sure, he could order her to leave him alone, but that would only last as long as her attention could be kept on leaving him alone. Which, given that he was at the largest, most distracting party in the entire country, was probably not going to happen. And even if it did work, eventually she would come back and lay claim to those dances. Which reminded him, “Longbow, don’t you owe me fifty bits?”

“For wha…Oh,” she stared over his shoulder, “Yeah, fifty for you from me, and another hundred from the betting pool.”

“You better be joking about that. That is quite literally impossible. It was my turn to put bits on the impossible option this time,” he twisted his head so he could see the reflection on her armor, “Damn. How much have those two had to drink?”
“Current count is at seven for Hammer Soot, two for Kajiik. Colt never could hold his liquor,” the voice faded into his ear out of the crystal in his helmet.

Iron smiled, “Apparently Hammer can. I’m going to go check on them,” he started moving away from his dance partner, but she wouldn’t let him loose, her long wings curled around his back, “Hey, let me go. I don’t want those two to get into anything they’ll regret when they get sober.”

A feather flicked his snout, tucking through his eye-slit, “I’m fairly certain it’s too late for that. Kajiik’s going the regret drinking in the first place. I don’t have the time to console him about…That.”

“Aw, let them have fun, Iron. I’ll keep an eye on them,” another voice faded through the crystal.

A gravelly sound echoed through the helmet, then Hammer’s voice slid into his ears, “Y’know I can hear you, right?”

“Civilian, get off this frequency.”

“Nyeh!” Iron saw Hammer stick her tongue out at the guards on the balcony, and sighed again.

“I’m so getting demoted for this, aren’t I?” The guard up on the balcony groaned, “Eternal torment for not checking the frequencies.”

Another voice rang out, “Nonsense, Private. You just get to clean up their mess,” The Captain of the Guard, dressed in a crimson uniform, pointed at Hammer and Kajiik.

“Please don’t do that to me Captain!”

“Too late.”
__
“I think this is going rather nicely, Son. You?” The stallion sitting in the garden turned away from the window and looked at a stone statue on a pedestal. The creature was a race known as Draconequii, a peculiar combination of races made possible by how his Abilities mixed with Equestrian Magic. He didn’t expect a response, not immediately at least. His son could speak to only the pony who trapped him in his stone prison. And as far as Rl’yeh knew, she wasn’t on speaking terms with his son.

“I know, I know. You think I’m a senile old bat, don’t you? I shouldn’t be trying to communicate with a statue,” Nine hundred and ninety-nine years, eleven months, and fifteen days had passed. The Elements never did things by fractions. It was always precisely One Thousand Years. He should know. He created them, at least, the first two. It wasn’t his fault that Harmony and Magic bred like rabbits, or maybe it was, “What do you think Son? Is that whole thing inside my fault?”
__
Kajiik slipped quietly off the stage, away from the eyes of the noble ponies, and downed his second drink of the night. Iron had warned him to stay under three drinks for the night, so he could ride home without stumbling out of the airship. That was all good, but he knew that the only pony who would be drinking less than him was Iron Hoof. He turned to Hammer Soot to see how she was doing, and found his muzzle being pulled away from him, then the touch of warm lips on his, flavored with every kind of alcohol available at the party, “Huh?”

The Thestral pulled him closer, confusing him, “Hammer, what are you doing?”

“Making out with you. Duh.”

“Are you drunk?”

“Very.”

“You’re going to regret this in the morning.”

“Less than I did with Ferrous.”

The Zebra stared dumbly, “I’m sorry, what?”

“You don’t have talons. No claws.”

“Uh, yeah. Maybe when we’re sober. Or at least you are.”

She scowled, and wrapped her wing around his neck, dragging him out of the building.
__
Barkskin slid a small pouch of bits to Princess Celestia, “Coulda sworn he’d make the first move.”

The princess laughed, and slid the pouch back, “She’s wasted, my little pony. It does not count.”

“She’s still sober. Remember, Hammer grew up in the Empire, and she’s a Thestral. Much higher tolerances. Like Yours, Princess.”

Another laugh escaped Celestia’s lips, “And how much do you think I have drunk tonight?”

Barkskin blinked, “Uh, I’ve seen you refill your glass three times, so at least four.”

“Would you believe only one? I have been turning the alcohol into water for most of the night.”

Barkskin sniffed the glass, and sure enough, it smelled like water, “That’s cool. But why do you do it? I can’t imagine enough of the ponies here are sober enough to remember what you act like drunk.”

Celestia nodded, then in a much softer voice, responded, “Have you ever wondered why the old castle looks burnt?”

“No. I figured at some point it caught fire in the forest.”

“No. That was me, the last time I got inebriated. I lost control of the sun, and it scorched the castle.”

Comments

[nightwalker]

"That was me, the last time I got inebriated. I lost control of the sun, and it scorched the castle."

Well shit. Gotta wonder what a 1K AA medal look like.