Fellowship is Madness

by Imperator Chiashi Zane

Appleloosa, Part 1

“How fast do you think we’re going?” Hammer Soot mashed her muzzle against the window of the train, fangs scraping at the glass.

Kajiik looked out the window on his side of the carriage, “Ninety kilometers per hour. That’s what this stretch of rail is rated at.”

Blueberry Jam sighed and tried to tuck her head into her pillow, “How long is this train ride?”

“Twelve hours,” Iron Hoof gave off no hint of caring how long the journey would be. It was, after all, shorter than many of the rides he had sat through before being assigned to Kajiik. And even after.

Blueberry let out a muffled groan, “Couldn’t we have taken the airship closer?”

Barkskin shook her head, “No, Appleloosa doesn’t have an airstrip. The only reason this isn’t a longer trip by train is because the Soviets are Equestria’s allies, so we can go from Moscow’s airstrip.”

“But it’s so boring…”

“Go to sleep Berry,” Kajiik waved his hoof, “Don’t make me waste chalk on you.”
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The train rolled up the rails, clattering along with almost a mile of carriages behind it. Inside the powerful engine, three stallions kept watch. One fed coal into the engine, while the other two pointed shotguns out the side windows.

“I see something. Incoming stampede!”

“Some on this side too. We’ve gotta slow down for this stretch…Clever bastards.”

“They knew where we had to slow down. They planned this.”

“Coal, how fast can we take these turns?”

“With a train this long, this heavy, not more than eight K. We’ll have to cover the train all the way through.”

“I don’t think we can.”

The train rattled around the first corner in the steep, zig-zagging trail up the side of the mountain leading into the Coltorado plateau. The wheels rumbled as the machine steamed up the hill, but it struggled as the first Buffalo slammed into the side. A second slammed into the next carriage, and the whole train rippled, struggling to stay on the rails.
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Hammer fell to the floor with a thump, “Mwahhuh? Trains don’t shake like this normally. Do they?” The train shuddered again, and she sat up, looking out the window. Her talons started jabbing Kajiik in the side, “Kajiik, train’s under attack!”

The Zebra rolled over and looked at her, eyes half closed, “Trains don’t get attacked. ‘Cept by dragons. Nopony else is big enough to even consider…” the train shuddered again, and he spun around, looking out the window and throwing Hammer to the floor again.

The train lurched again, “I’m going to give those Buffalo a piece of my mind.” She stormed to the back of the carriage, and slipped through the gap between the carriages, “Come here you little!”

The carriage rocked away from her, and the wind dragged her away, flinging her to the ground. She tumbled to a stop, groaning as a buffalo leaped over her, then another stepped on her.
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Kajiik galloped to the front of the carriage and pushed his way through, glad that the passenger quarters were so close to the engine, for the first time that he could remember. He scrambled up onto the tender, and staggered across the coal, dropping down into the engine. Immediately, he raised his forehooves, “Don’t shoot! I’m here to help!”

The stallion shoveling the coal in stopped, “How are you going to help us stop a stampeded? Can you even use a shotgun?”

The Zebra smirked and whipped out a pair of sticks of chalk and started climbing up onto the outside of the boiler. “Where are you going?” another stallion shouted at him, “That’s not for passengers!” he left out that it was also not for crew while the train was in motion at all, but the Zebra didn’t seem to care, staggering up the walkway and hoofboards.

Kajiik reached the front of the locomotive and dropped between the light fixtures. Wind blowing his mane about, he turned and started dragging the chalk across the front of the boiler. A last impact of his hoof on the center of the runes forced his own energy into the chalk, then through it. The engine let out a bellow of steam pressure as the heat was torn forward and forced through the runes. The wheels went suddenly very silent, adhering to the track as Kajiik fought his way back to the engine, “Floor it!”

The crew stared at him, “I cast an adhesion spell on the train. As long as nothing damages the pattern, you can go as fast as the engine can handle!”
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The train started roaring across the tracks, screaming away from the buffalo, except for one that managed to get up on top of the carriages. She slipped between the cargo carriages and the passenger carriages, and started kicking at the coupling. Several hits, and it came loose, the wheels locking up. The carriages screeched to a halt, almost throwing the small Buffalo to the dirt, “Ha! We got it!”
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The train hissed to a stop at the edge of a primitive station, little more than a set of mobile stairs at the end of each carriage. Kajiik slipped down first, “Sheriff? Where’s the sheriff’s office? We need to report an attack.”

A brown stallion stepped up, nodding, “Ah’m the sheriff here. Braeburn Apple. Ah noticed half the train’s missin’. Buffalo?”

“Yeah. We got away from them, but we couldn’t stop them from getting the food-stuffs.”

Braeburn’s hoof pinched his hat, “We need that food to last the year, until the trees are ready to bear fruit. Or at least until next month’s train arrives.”

Kajiik nodded, “How many times has this happened?”

“Ever since we first arrived. We’ve been living off the last little bits of the first train and whatever we can scrounge up of the desert plants.”

“Have you tried talking to the Buffalo?” Now Fleethoof was getting in on the conversation, “Maybe you can talk them into…”

“Tried it. They said no,” Braeburn growled, “They want us to pack up and move our trees. We can’t do that.”

“Are there other options?” Iron Hoof clanked down the stairs, armor still shining silver in the light, “Maybe you just need some more authority. Let us help.”
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“Celestia…My head…” Hammer Soot clutched her head in her talons, “What ha…” her eyes opened and she froze. All around her were Buffalo. Male and female. And wearing all manner of garb from tanned leather to strings of beads. One of the smaller females leaned over her, muttering something she couldn’t understand.

“What? I can’t understand you.”

A few more unintelligible words pushed into her ears, before the Buffalo traced lines on her muzzle with a hoof. The next words, she understood, “You hit your head when you fell off the train. We patched you up, but you’ll want to stay off that hoof,” the Buffalo pointed at her right rear-hoof, wrapped in a thick layer of plaster, “At least a week.”

She nodded, then something occurred to her, “Where am I?”

“You are in the healer’s tent of Thunderhooves Tribe. We had to bring you along.”

“Who are you ponies? Did you tell anypony you were taking me?”

“No. They left you behind. You got a minor concussion.”

Hammer sighed, “Alright. Which way is Appleloosa? And who are you?”

“My name is Strongheart. Thunderhooves is our Chief, my father. Appleloosa is fifteen miles south. You’ll never make it on three hooves.”

“You kidnapped me!” The Buffalo looked hurt, and shrank back against the side of the tent as Hammer’s talons flicked in and out and the Thestral took to the air, “Let me make this clear. I am one of the six Elements of Harmony. Kidnapping me is essentially a capital crime against Equestria. I would be justified in slitting all of your throats and leaving.”

Strongheart started pushing herself against the side of the tent, like she was trying to push through it. Probably to get away from the furious Thestral, “We saved your life. We’re sending a delegation to Appleloosa tomorrow after breakfast. You will be coming with.”

Hammer landed softly, wincing as her injured leg touched down, “I don’t want to kill you, but if you cross me. If you lied to me…” Her talons slid across each-other, making a grinding noise that shook the young Buffalo’s nerves. She slipped out the flap of the tent and closed it, trapping the Thestral inside.
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“You’re meeting with them tomorrow. No argument. No discussion. You WILL figure out a solution to this problem,” Iron Hoof scowled at Braeburn and stormed off, “Isn’t there supposed to be a Guard regiment out here? What happened to ‘One in Every Fucking Town!’, Huh?”

Kajiik sighed, and watched his friend trot away, “Blueberry, can you give me a hoof here? We need to have a plan. Fleethoof, go talk to the locals. Take the sheriff. Barkskin, see what you can do about the weather. If we can get some mud going, it’ll make a stampede harder if the diplomacy doesn’t fix it.”

The Unicorn looked at the Sheriff, “Where is your weather station?”

“We…Uh…There isn’t one. We’ve only got two Pegasi here, and they tend to meet at the bar to plan.”

She sighed, cupped a hoof over her eyes, and trotted off, “Why in Celestia’s name would you start a town without a weather station!”

“Alrighty, Sheriff, come with me. Who do we know who can help us make this shindig go according to plan?” Fleethoof wrapped a wing around Braeburn’s shoulder, sliding a feather into his saddlebags surreptitiously.

“Ok, so how do we talk to a Buffalo tribe about letting Appleloosa leave their trees here. And why would the Buffalo be against it?” Kajiik’s hoof traced out lines on the dirt, “We need more information on them. Can you…?”

Blueberry smiled, and started trotting off, “Already on it.”
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Iron Hoof stopped at a barely stable structure with iron bars on the windows, and Sheriff written over the door. Even in the smallest towns, the sheriff’s office shared a building with the Guard HQ. That meant that the roster of even reserve guard should be posted in the event active Guard needed that information. Unfortunately, there was only one name on the list. Braeburn Apple. “Shit. Town like this should have a full regiment until they get stable. And this situation is definitely not stable,” he pressed a hoof to his radio, “Kajiik, is there a broadcast station here?”

His earphone crackled, ”No. We’ve got nothing. We’ll have to send it by train back to Stalliongrad. That’s the nearest broadcast station.”

“Dammit. Get a runner going. Don’t we have a courier here?”

”Negative. Monthly postal run, on the train.”

He blinked, “I hate this place. Why can’t we let the Buffalo run it over again?”

Celestial order. We need to establish this outpost to refill trains going to the Salt Flats outpost, so we can get cargo out to Ursland for trade.”

“Right,” Iron sighed, “Why in Tartarus don’t we have a Guard regiment on such a vital route.”
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Kajiik groaned, “Couldn’t afford it. Even with Reserves, we’re still stuck short by a few hundred thousand.” Or more. The largest number of Guardsponies was in Canterlot. Fifteen Thousand of them, for a population of over five million. And less than a thousand for Manehattan and Detrot. As it was, the Guard was spread so thin that a town of five hundred rated one, maybe two ranking ponies and five or six reserves. A town like Appleloosa, fifty ponies total, one reserve was about the limit.