Fellowship is Madness

by Imperator Chiashi Zane

Dragon's Peak, Part 3

Iron sighed, and raised his radio out of his saddle-bag, only to see that it was crushed into shards of plastic and wire, “Kajiik, if you message the Princess, how long would it take for her to forward it to Fire-Control?”

“If she’s in her room, minutes. If she’s still in Day Court, it could be hours. We’ll have to deal with this on our own. Which means we need to figure out a way to either fight it, or make it leave.”

The smoke let sunlight through, that reflected off Iron’s armor at Kajiik, and everypony looked up. The dragon was awake. But where was it. A growling voice echoed out of the cave, ”What are you doing in my hoard!”

Iron’s head snapped around, and he realized that one of their number was missing. Fleethoof, “Ferrous! Where’d she go?”

The Griffon pointed into the cave, “I wasn’t gonna stop her. She’s been trying to go everywhere but the dragon until you pulled out the broken radio.”

Iron paled, “Ok, Kajiik, what are the facts right now? We need a plan.”

“Fleethoof knows dragons are Eeevil, yes with three E’s, that’s important. She fought actively to stay away from the dragon. She has NO combat training at all. She’s not fireproof.”

Gilda held up the shovel, “I’ll start digging her grave.”

”What do you mean, CAN I SLEEP SOMEWHERE ELSE!”

Ferrous pulled a second shovel out, and held it up, “I’ll help.”

Kajiik turned and looked at the cave, where it sounded like a pile of gold was shifting, “Iron, I think it’s coming this way!”
He heard a terrible gurgling sound, and the sound of bones crunching. A very feminine scream tore out of the cave, followed by the sound of the dragon swallowing.

“I don’t think there’s enough left to bury.” The dragon’s head left the cave, arcing over the assorted ponies on the stone before crashing to the ground with a choked gasp.

There was a lump in its throat, and something sticking down through the neck that was dripping blood. Iron Hoof stepped over carefully, and looked at the knife. His knife. Sticking straight out of the dragon’s throat, pushing up the armored scales from beneath. He pulled lightly on the bloody knife with his hooves, wiggling it up, towards the scale, and noticing that it was somewhat stuck, like it was attached to a hoof. Kajiik joined him, prying the skin apart and pushing the scales away as Iron wriggled his blade loose. It came out with a blood-stained white hoof that he was glad appeared to be still attached to an arm still. He tugged the blade out of the hoof, passing the hoof off to Barkskin, who was already whipping up a medical sensor spell. The knife, he flipped around and slid back into the dragon’s hide, using Kajiik’s hooves as guides to make a long incision that revealed more and more of the mare inside.

It also parted what appeared to be gold coins and jewelry, until the mare was completely exposed. He realized that her dress was missing too, “Where’s her dress?”

Ferrous started into the cave, pushing his way through the space, “Found it! Not torn!”

Kajiik sighed. She must have peeled the dress off for some reason. It wasn’t like ponies wore clothing all the time, but it was enchanted for personal climate control. Why would she have taken it off? He started peeling her out of the bloody hole in the throat, rolling her onto the stone. She was still breathing, and fairly well, considering the sound of bones shattering. He reached into the neck and pulled on the layer of precious gems and gold she had left behind, laying the weighty assembly out for counting.

“There’s gotta be fifty kilos of bits here, plus the gems. Did she really try to rob a dragon?”

A coughing noise made the Zebra turn his head, and he watched her spit up some blood, and something green and ooze-like, “Antagonize. Not rob. I am SO GLAD that potion worked.”

Kajiik just gawked as the mare leaned over and continued hacking out the green ooze.
She finally stopped and looked at him, “What? The dragon’s dead now. Its evil is gone. And I drank a potion from the hoard.”

Iron Hoof slammed his armored boot into his helmet as Kajiik grabbed the Pegasus by the shoulders and slammed her against a rock, “YOU COULD HAVE DIED! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING! HOW WOULD WE ACTIVATE THE ELEMENTS WITHOUT YOU?”

She rolled her eyes, “You said you just Bullshitted, and they worked. Find a new Element of Generosity, I guess. Maybe that nice Nurse at the hospital. She does a lot of pro bono work.”

“Great,” Kajiik’s head drooped, “Ok, so how long do we have to get back to the tree and get a new radio to call off the cannons?”

“Three hours. Not enough to hike all the way back down, and I’ll need to give my authorization code. If I jump, I might be able to get to the bottom in time, but I’ll never make it on hoof.”

Ferrous let out a grin, and snatched the Guardspony in his talons, “Hope you like flying. We’re going for a ride.”
Strained wings were a bit tricky to use, but the trip to Ponyville was literally a straight-line glide. And the wind felt so nice on his muscles.
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Kajiik slung the party-pegasus on his back and started down the mountain, “Well, if they don’t get there on time, we’ve got three hours and five minutes to be off this mountain.”

Barkskin scooped up her saddlebags, and all seven of them started down, Gilda and Hammer flying down the side carrying Thunderlane between them.
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Iron Hoof grabbed the countertop radio and pressed the button twice, the call for entering message. The voice of the Guard Switchboard in Canterlot made him smile, “This is Guardspony Iron Hoof, Ponyville Regiment. Access code Seven, Seven, Four, Three, Alpha.”

”Confirmed, Ponyville. Standing orders: Requisition for excessive force. Fifteen minutes remaining on order. Recurring orders: Sharpening paste and polishing compound. Monthly.”

“Excellent. I need to cancel the Requisition for excessive force. It will not be necessary.”

Very good, sir. Requisition cancelled. Forwarding notice now. Have a nice day.”

The stallion collapsed onto the floor of the library, “Thank you Canterlot. Ponyville out.” The radio set fell from his hoof to the floor, “Shit that was close.”

“Are you sure it will get through in fifteen minutes?”

“Canterlot Central is the central hub for the entirety of Equestria. The message will be radioed up to the airship, at which point it may take as much as two minutes for the onboard switchboard to relay it to the cannons. We’ll be fine.”

Comments

[Imperator Chiashi Zane]

5678063 Andre, it IS garbage. It's entirely based on a D&D campaign.