Fellowship is Madness

by Imperator Chiashi Zane

Midsummer's Nightmare, Part 1

“Iron, have you seen my book on the Lunar states?” Kajiik, a foreign exchange student to Princess Celestia’s school, from Zebrica, looked up from his telescope, “Something doesn’t look right.”

The Royal Guardspony assigned to him stopped in the middle of his staff drills, and pointed with the oak staff pinned between his teeth, “O’her dere.”

Kajiik felt his hoof warm up as he scratched a quick summon circle into the dirt on the balcony, and teleported the book to his side. He flipped it open and flicked back and forth between the book and the telescope, “Iron, I think I know what’s happening with the moon,” he glanced at the calendar. The Summer Sun Celebration was in less than forty-eight hours. The thousandth since Nightmare Moon’s banishment. “Where’s my notebook?”

Another grunt from Iron Hoof and a point with the staff. He summoned the book to his side and grabbed the stylus out of the spine. Quickly, he jotted down a message in it, Princess Celestia, I have recently come across some information of potentially Equuis shattering importance. At the time of my writing this, we have less than forty-eight hours until Nightmare Moon is released from her thousand year banishment. Please respond as soon as possible. Your loyal student, Kajiik
He pressed the stylus back into the spine, triggering the spell that transferred a duplicate of the message to a paired notebook in the Princess’ study. At this time of night, she was almost guaranteed to get it.

Exactly seven point four six second later, the notebook buzzed and started glowing. He flipped it open and stared at the words on the page. My dearest student. I would recommend that you stop reading those horror stories so late at night. They’re messing with your logical thinking.
It buzzed again and more words appeared In order to help you get back to a sensible mindset, I will write up a special lesson plan for you, which I will give you in the morning. Now get to bed. Staying up so late is bad for a growing colt. Sleep well.
-Lady Celestia Solus Invictus

He scowled, “Come on. It’s not even that late…” he glanced at the clock glowing softly by his bed, then at the guardspony hardly paying attention to him, “Or, it’s three in the morning.”
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Kajiik sipped at his tea, staring at the pile of parchment that he had found stacked outside his door when he woke up. It was very clear instructions. Go to Ponyville. Oversee the Summer Sun Celebration. Make some friends. Relax. He finished his tea and looked at his personal guard. Iron Hoof was already in full barding, magically attuned steel plate clipped onto maille that was held securely to his form by a series of leather belts over a cotton tunic and trousers, hoof-blades securely fixed to both forehooves, and his staff on his back.

He trotted over to his own dresser and pulled out his robes. Cotton tunic, leather boots, maille hauberk, wool overtunic and cloak, then his saddlebags which he loaded up with his research books and magic notebook. A hoofful of chalk pieces found their place in one pocket, in case he couldn’t find any dust to draw in.

“Ok, let’s go. I hope the Princess is right.”

“Has the Lady Above been wrong before?”

Kajiik sighed, “No. But if there was ever I time I didn’t believe that, it would be now.”

The chariot was already waiting, two Pegasi hitched to the front, ready to pull it up into the sky, and down to the small village. He wished they could have taken the train.
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The Pegasi set the chariot down in the middle of the town, and let Kajiik and Iron Hoof out. They looked around, both performing analysis of the town. Kajiik saw it as a sort of farm village, mostly revolving around the farms surrounding it. Hicks, Earth Ponies. Kind of like the village he came from, back in South Zebrica, on the plains.
Iron Hoof, deep in his Guard training, was already searching for hiding places, potential dangers, anypony with the desire to harm his charge. He found very little that might be a hazard, and stepped away from the Zebra.

“Ok, Iron, our first stop is food, at the Blueberry farm. Gotta make sure they’re ready,” he took off in a moderate canter. Iron Hoof followed, clanking along in his armor. The farm came into view quickly, and Kajiik trotted under the square wooden sign. Standing out in the field, a purple unicorn with a blue mane was levitating a bucket and floating small berries into it. The pony stopped as Iron Hoof clanked up to Kajiik’s side, and slogged back over to them, settling the bucket on the ground before raising a muddy hoof.

“Welcome to The Blueberry Hills. My name is Blueberry Jam. What brings you two out here?” The mare didn’t even react at all to seeing a Zebra and Royal Guard on her farm. Was it her farm?

“Hello. My name is Kajiik. This is Iron Hoof, my bodyguard. We were sent by Princess Celestia to oversee the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration. We were informed that your farm is the one in charge of this year’s food preparations.”

“Yes, of course. We won’t be the only farm providing food for the event, but everypony is going to be meeting up here to go over the final preparations. We already have several of them here, using our ovens, because the Hills happened to be oriented above a large natural gas reserve, so we have oven space to spare. C’mon in.”

He followed the mare, staring at her as he trotted into the barn. He stopped very abruptly as he entered and saw ponies of all shapes and sizes moving around carrying platters of food, both cooked and uncooked, components in buckets and everything. The walls were lines with huge stone ovens filled with flickering fire, and he saw that a hoofful of Unicorns were carefully monitoring the temperatures in the boxes to ensure that nothing was overcooked or undercooked.

“Well, there you have it. We’ve got the Apples over there,” she pointed, “Carrots, Tomatoes, Harvests, Oranges, Melons, Pumpkins, Peaches,” she pointed at each group as she turned, “and last, the Berry Extended Family, Blueberry, Strawberry, Raspberry, and Snozzberry.”

He stared. All those ponies working together, so easily. A massive red Apple stallion stepped over a tiny brown Orange filly carrying a platter of what looked like loaves of bread, and neither slipped up even slightly.

“Okay. Iron, it looks like they’ve got food well in hoof. Let’s go before they try to feed us,” he glanced at where the Guard had been standing, then at the line, where Iron had his helmet off, and was tucking into a pumpkin pie, “IRON HOOF! ATTEN HUT!”

The stallion snapped to attention, pie hanging from his muzzle, and trotted back over to his charge, “Fine. I was hungry though.”

“We’ll get to eat soon. Right now we have work to do,” he started trotting away from the barn, and smiled at the clanking of armor following him. The next was to check the decorations. Some place called ‘Jack-in-The-Box’. He stopped as a brilliant, eye-searingly bright white mare with a cotton candy pink mane stopped directly in front of him, almost splattering him with mud. Her hoof picked his up off the ground, “HIHIHIHI! You must be new. My name is Fleethoof. I’m the Premiere Party Pony around here. Are you here for the celebration?”

“Yes I…”

“KNEW IT! Decorations are all ready, poppers, sparklers, streamers, the works. You’re gonna LOVE IT!”

“And yo…”

“Oh, right, I’m the Co-owner of Jack in The Box, here’s my card,” she pressed a completely blank card into his hoof, and vanished so fast it left spots in his eyes. He couldn’t even tell what race she was. And his mane was all frazzled now.

“Iron, What just happened?”

“It would appear you were accosted by a walking party favor. Pegasus.”

“Thanks. Good thing your helmet has that glare reducer in it. Remind me to enchant a pair of goggles later. Now, she said the decorations were already ready. That’s good,” he checked that off the scroll, and looked around, “Now, the Smithy. Apparently that’s where the music is being prepared. No idea why.”
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As they approached the Smithy, he heard a soft chiming noise, joined by a loud thundering noise. Trotting around the corner, he spotted the source of the noise. Mounted on giant iron tracks was a rack filled with bells with a Thestral thundering away at the keys of the carillon. It was deafeningly loud, and he was confused about how she wasn’t suffering severe hearing loss. Maybe she was. His own vision was blurring, but the music suddenly stopped. His head stopped ringing around the time he felt a hoof poking his snout. He blinked. Then blinked again. Then heard a voice that seemed to be shouting, “Hey, can you hear me? Are you OK!”

He blinked, “What? Yes? That’s loud!”

The Thestral shook her head and he saw a brass talon…talon?...pressed against her forehead, “Yes. That’s why it’s behind the Smithy. Nopony but me is crazy enough to come back here when I’m playing.”

“I only listened for like ten seconds. How do you play that thing without going completely deaf?” He noticed Iron Hoof shaking his head. The sound dampers in the helmet had a side effect where they generally discharged the excess energy in the form of a bright flash. A prepared guardspony could usually close his eyes to block out the light. Usually it wasn’t such a huge flash though. And it was inside the glare reducer, to keep it from being visible.

She ran her hoof…there it was again, a brass talon…through her mane and pulled something out of her ear. She held it out to him, “I am completely deaf. This little device replaces my eardrums.”

He stared at her, dumbfounded. He had never studied pony anatomy, but no magic he knew could completely replace a deaf pony’s hearing.

She seemed to realize what he wanted to say, and continued, “It has an artificial membrane and tiny gears that stimulate a lightning crystal that is pressed against my aural nerves. The specific pattern of vibrations the mechanism induces in the crystal modifies how it affects the nerves, and I can hear. I have to leave it off when I’m playing though, because the crystal is very sensitive to loud noises.”

She slid the mechanism back into her ear, briefly exposing a leather patch over one eye, “So what brings you two nuts back here while I’m playing?”

“Oh, my name is Kajiik, and this is Iron Hoof. We came back here looking for the Music organizer. Our information told us they would be at the Smithy.”

“Oh, yes, that would be me. My name is Hammer Soot.”

“And you’re completely stone deaf? And what are those things on your arms?”

“Yes, those are my Talons. Ferrous helped me make them after the accident. They give me better control over hot metal than my wings ever could.”

“Oookay…Well. The music sounded wonderful. So, Iron and I have a few more preparations to go get ready. We’ll see you at the festival later,” he waved as he walked off.
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“Ok, so the weather is supposed to be completely clear. It doesn’t look like that’s ready. Unlike everything else in this little town. I just wanted to get everything checked off so I could get back to studying,” he scowled up at the sky, “Seriously. Last task on the list. Why couldn’t it be done already!” Not watching where he was trotting, he plowed into a green mare, knocking both of them into a mud puddle on the side of the road.

“HEY! Watch where you’re walking!”

Iron Hoof sat on the dirt beside them, “Kajiik, please watch where you’re going. The Princess is getting rather tired of paying for repairs.”

“Well, Sorry,” he drawled over his shoulder, “Not my fault there’s ponies everywhere out here!”

“Hey, colt, you ran into me. Now I’m gonna be late to get the Pegasi together to clean up the clouds! I can’t get them all rounded up if I’m stuck in the mud! Gah!”

“You’re the one in charge of getting the weather organized?”

“Yeah. I’m Barkskin, Weather Coordinator for Ponyville. Who in Tartarus are you?”

“Kajiik. I’m here on Princess Celestia’s orders, to oversee the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration.”

The mare’s horn lit up and flicked the mud off of her face, “Really. Well my crew seems to be missing, and you’re not helping. I’m not supposed to do this because it messes up the magic field over the town, and makes it hard for Pegasi to fly for almost a whole day…Oh Buck it! They deserve it, the lazy jackasses,” Her horn glowed, and the clouds overhead dissipated, “There. Done. Now, I’m going to go home and take a nap before the party.” She sauntered off, sloshing mud onto the ground even as a cloud formed over her head and poured down on her before a searing wind blew past, drying the mud puddle, and the mare at the same time, revealing her brilliant white mane.
“That went well. Iron, where am I supposed to be staying for the duration of the party? My instructions got muddy.”