Epilogue: One Day at a Time
You Do (Not) Belong
Epilogue: One Day at a Time
Dear Princess Celestia,
Guess who? It’s everyone’s favorite trans-dimensional alien! Bet you weren’t expecting to get a letter from me, huh? By the way, I apologize in advance for my
handwritinghoofwrpenmanship. Twilight’s making me write this so I can practice with my telekinesis, and I’ve just barely got the hang of it yet.It’s hard to believe that only a week’s gone by since the last time we saw each other. I feel like so much has happened, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. After all, a lot happened in the previous week, too.
So, I’m officially a member of the community now. At first I was worried about how we were going to handle reintroducing me to the townsfolk, but the girls eventually convinced me that it would be for the best if I came clean about everything right away. Applejack was the one who suggested talking to the mayor about having a town meeting about it, and after we explained the situation to her, Mayor Mare thought it was a great idea. And it turns out that I didn’t have to worry all that much. Everyone in town was so supportive and understanding, especially after Pinkie’s grand welcoming surprise party.
What else? Oh! I got a new pair of glasses, finally. I don’t even care what kind of voodoo they had to pull in order to make them stay on my face like this, I’m just glad I can see clearly past my hoof again. Speaking of which, I think I’m finally getting used to walking with these things. (Took me long enough…) Running, on the other
handhoof, that’s going to take a little longer.Not that I prefer being a pony, but if there’s one silver lining to all of this, it’s being able to use magic. You probably know this already, but magic is so AWESOME! I only started my lessons a few days ago, and it hasn’t been a cakewalk, but at least I’m making progress. It definitely helps that I have an incredible teacher to begin with.
Anyway, I’m about halfway down the paper already, so it’s probably time for me to get serious for a moment.
I want to tell you and Luna that I’m okay, and that you shouldn’t worry about me, but to be perfectly honest… that’s not quite the truth. I won’t deny that it’s sometimes been… difficult to deal with all this.
After we got back to Ponyville and I came down from that incredible friendship high I was having, it really struck me how different everything’s going to be from what I’m used to. I realized that I wasn’t going to just get over everything overnight, no matter how much I wanted to. Sometimes, when it’s quiet and I’m by myself, I can’t help thinking about everyone I left behind; what they’re doing, what they’re thinking...
If I have one regret from all of this -- aside from touching that stupid rock in the first place -- it’s that there just wasn’t enough time to do anything more. In hindsight, if only I could’ve written a letter, or taken a picture, wrapping it up in my stuff and letting that go back to Earth in my place. Just something to at least let them know that I was safe and happy, and not to worry about me.
But I made my choice, and that I don’t regret. It may be harder now, but I know it’ll get easier. And whenever I’m feeling down, there’s always something I can turn to for a little comfort. Stuff like knowing that Twilight and Spike are always close by, or having Rainbow Dash stop over to chat and maybe show off one of her special moves, or remembering that Rarity invited me to go with her and Fluttershy on one of their “spa dates” (still debating on that one). Any one of those things to remind me that things can only get better from here. All I have to do is just keep tackling one day at a time.
I realize I’m rambling at this point, and my horn’s starting to hurt, so I’ll make this quick, since I’m running out of room, anyway. Thanks again for everything, to you, Luna, and Cadence as well. I promise I’ll try to keep in touch with you guys. Until then!
Your friend, and newest loyal subject, Connor.
-- P.S. “Connor” isn’t exactly a typical name for a pony, is it? I’ve been thinking of changing it to something more appropriate. What are your thoughts on “Crimson Flare”?
------------------------
“Aaaaand, done!” With a heavy sigh, Connor let his body relax, the weak red glow around his horn fading to nothing and the ink quill hovering above parchment dropping to the table.
“Time.” With the click of a button, Spike pressed down on the stopwatch in his claws. “Welp, would you look at that. Eighteen minutes and twenty-four seconds, and that’s after you took two breaks in between.”
“Gee, thanks,” Connor replied sarcastically, reaching up to rub his hoof in small circles just beneath his horn.
“Spike…” Twilight said from off to the side, tossing her assistant a chiding glance.
“What?” Spike threw up his shoulders in a shrug. “It was a compliment. I’m really impressed!”
“Suuure you are,” the red unicorn retorted, before twisting his neck around, trying to relieve the stress from having stood stock still for so many minutes. “Anyway, I’m just glad to be done. Is it supposed to hurt this much?”
“Only at first. Magic is like a muscle; the more you use it, the easier it gets,” Twilight explained, moving up to the table where Connor’s letter sat. Her horn lighting up, the mare brought the piece of parchment up in the air in front of her. “May I?”
“Uhhh,” Connor said hesitantly, adjusting his new glasses a bit. “Sure, I guess. What, do you want to proofread it or something?”
“Or something,” Twilight said with a chuckle. “Don’t worry, I’m sure it’s fine. I’m just curious to see what you wrote about.”
“Okay…” Feeling a little put on the spot, Connor chewed on the inside of his lip, letting his eyes wander around the library while Twilight started reading.
It was a pretty awkward silence, permeated only by the sound of Twilight’s magic and that of Spike’s legs as he shifted them back and forth on the pile of books he was sitting on. A little while in, Twilight let out a giggle or two, followed closely by an “Aww…” as she looked up briefly with a smile and a blush. But then, as she continued reading, she grew more serious, the rapid movement of her eyes slowing down as she took her time with the later bits.
Connor was watching as she reached the end, and he could plainly notice when she slowly raised her head to look at him with one eyebrow raised.
“Something wrong?” he asked her.
“No, no, the letter’s fine.” Twilight shook her head, lowering the parchment. “Although, I have to ask… ‘Crimson Flare’? Seriously?”
“Yeah, what’s wrong with it?”
“Don’t you think it sounds a little…” The mare’s mouth scrunched up in thought. “I dunno… pretentious?”
“Pfft, whatever,” Connor scoffed a little, brushing her off with a wave of his hoof. “It’s just an idea. I’m not married to it.”
“Hmph,” Twilight snorted, before shrugging with indifference and walking to a nearby desk. Using her magic, she opened it up and brought out a blue ribbon and a seal, wrapping up the letter and preparing it for delivery. Then, she levitated it over to her dragon friend as he hopped off his perch. “Go ahead, Spike.”
“You got it, Twi.” Taking the letter in claw, Spike turned away from the two of them, held it up, took a deep breath, and blew. Out of his mouth came a bright green gout of dragon flame, incinerating the paper in a fraction of a second.
Connor’s eyes went wide with shock. “H-hey! What was that for!? I worked really hard on that!”
“Um, Connor?” Twilight questioned, tilting her head to the side. With an amused look on her face, she made a motion towards one of the windows cut into the library wall.
Connor followed her gaze, just then noticing that the plume of glittering green smoke that used to be his letter was snaking its way up through the air, just before it zoomed right outside in a manner that made it all too obvious what had just happened.
“...Oh.” Bashfully, Connor rubbed the back of his neck. “Heh, guess I’ve still got a lot to learn.”
Twilight flashed him a reassuring smile. “All in due time. You’re doing great so far.”
“Yeah, well, I’m feeling pretty magicked out right now,” he said, standing his hind legs up and stretching out his back like a cat, eliciting a few refreshing pops and cracks. It never ceased to amaze him just how good it felt to do that.
Maybe I will take Rarity up on that spa thing, he thought for a moment, before turning his attention to the more immediate future. “So, what should we do next? Got any plans?”
“Well, I was thinking that maybe--” Twilight began, before she was cut off by the sound of a barrage of knocks coming from down the stairs to the first floor. “Oh! Sounds like we have company downstairs.”
“I’ll get it,” Connor offered, making his way over to the steps. He took slightly longer going down since, like galloping, stairs were something he still hadn’t quite mastered yet. As if to remind him, there were more impatient knocks from the Golden Oak’s entrance just as he reached the bottom. “Alright, I’m coming! Jeez, hold your horses!”
The colt had a private snicker to himself as he walked past the table in the center of the room and up to the door, taking the handle in hoof and pulling it open. What greeted him on the other side was a genuine surprise, as three bright and cheery young faces thrust themselves up at him.
“Hi, Connor!” shouted Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo in unison, all three of them positively beaming. The Apple filly was wearing a small satchel around her midsection, and for some reason, Sweetie was carrying some kind of box balanced on her back, tied up in a bright red bow.
“Well, if it isn’t the Crusaders,” Connor returned in kind, looking them over curiously. “Wait, hold on. It isn’t even noon yet. Shouldn’t you be in school?”
“Miss Cheerilee’s attending a Teachers’ Conference in Hoofington today, so we got the day off!” Apple Bloom replied happily.
“That sounds like fun,” Connor said with a smile. “I haven’t seen you guys since the party last week. It’s good to see you.”
“Sure is!” spoke up Scootaloo, whose little wings buzzed a little, pushing her up in the air with excitement. “Hey, so, are you doing anything right now?”
“Uh…” Connor looked behind him for a second, just in time to see Twilight and Spike also making their way down the stairs. “Not really. I just got done with a little magic practice. Why?”
“Great!” said Sweetie. Then, the three fillies suddenly came forward, squeezing past Connor and entering in the tree house.
“Hello, girls,” uttered a slightly stunned Twilight as she reared back from the unexpected intrusion. The Crusaders stopped at the table, with Sweetie swiftly depositing her package as they did so. “What’s all this about?”
“Beats me, I’m just as confused as you are,” Connor said, nudging the door closed with his flank before joining the others.
“We got somethin’ to tell you!” Apple Bloom piped up.
“And something to give you!” followed Scootaloo, which explained the gift box, at least.
“Aw, you shouldn’t have,” Connor replied humbly.
“But we did it anyway,” said Sweetie Belle, her smile gradually fading as her and her friends put on slightly more dour expressions. “We still feel really bad about taking your music thingy without your permission.”
“Yeah, we’ve been trying for days to come up with something we could do to make it up to you,” added Scootaloo, bringing a touch of warmth to Connor’s heart at their sincerity.
“Well, that’s very thoughtful of you. Thank you.” Connor tilted his head. “So, what is it you wanted to tell me?”
Apple Bloom shook her head. “Nuh-uh. That’ll come later,” the cream-colored filly told him adamantly. “Just open yer present first, then we’ll tell ya!”
Connor rolled his eyes, going along with it. “Alright, let’s see what we got here…”
The Crusaders backed away from Connor, privately grinning at one another as he approached the table and the gift. It wasn’t a very big box, and judging from the way a tiny unicorn like Sweetie could carry it on her back, it probably didn’t weigh all that much.
Taking a moment to concentrate, Connor then reached deep inside himself, tapping into the wellspring of power he’d only recently learned how to utilize. His eyes narrowing, he focused intently on the ribbon securing the lid of the box, and willed the magic into existence. Faintly, his horn began to glow, and so did his target as he slowly undid the knot without so much as lifting a hoof. For so simple a task, his recent exertions with the letter were making it a little difficult, but this wouldn’t take long, and he knew he could do it.
With one last tug, the knot came free and the ribbon fell away, and Connor let out a puff of breath as his horn went dark again.
“Keep going, you can do it!” Twilight spurred him on, nodding in encouragement.
“Heh, thanks. Yeah, don’t worry, I got this,” said Connor, blinking away his fatigue even as he failed to notice the faint shuffling behind him, or the knowing, half-concealed smirks on both Twilight and Spike.
Next came the lid, which was enveloped in a misty maroon glow as it too was lifted off the box and dropped to the side. With the gift now open, Connor probed the inside with his magic, grabbing ahold of the object -- whatever it was -- and slowly lifting it into the air. It appeared to be some kind of red fabric, neatly folded into a tight square, and with a bit of concentration, Connor was able to pick it apart and unfold it to reveal… a slightly bigger square.
“...It’s a two-by-two red square,” he said dully, not bothering to hide his disappointment.
“Turn it around!” came Sweetie’s voice from behind him, and Connor obeyed, rotating the fabric so that he could see the other side.
Once that was done, he could plainly see that there was more to it. Sewed into two opposite corners along the bottom were two bright blue and yellow patches, each one with a center depiction of what looked like a smiling filly reared up on its hind legs.
“SURPRISE!” came a sudden shout from the three fillies behind him, causing Connor to jump with a start and lose focus on his magic, dropping the cloth. He instantly jolted around, about to chastise them for scaring the bejesus out of him until he noticed that, apparently, the Crusaders had been busy while he had his back turned. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo had emptied the farm filly’s bag and were now each wearing capes patterned identically to the one he’d been gifted, albeit tailored to their small bodies.
“What… Um, okay, what is this?” Connor asked, plainly confused as he tried to calm his heart back down.
“Silly Connor! What does it look like?” Sweetie Belle answered, grinning from ear to ear. “Us three have decided to officially welcome you into…”
The unicorn filly paused as she and her friends each took in a big breath. Connor only had a second to forcibly pull his ears down before they all launched into a group shout.
“THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!”
Even with his preparation, Connor still had to gently rub the outside of his ears to stop them from ringing, which also allowed him just enough time to process what the young ponies were saying. “Hold on, let me get this straight… You want me to join your little club?”
“Hey, it ain’t just some club!” Apple Bloom argued back. “As Crusaders, it is our sworn duty to help our fellow blank-flanks get their cutie marks and discover their special talents!”
“That’s right!” Scootaloo nodded her head vigorously, her tiny wings buzzing again. “And, seriously, you’ve got to be, like, the oldest blank-flank ever!”
Connor’s fur changed a fraction of a shade redder as he looked behind himself at the bare patch of fur on his own backside. “Uh… Yeah, I… guess you got a point there.”
“So, whaddaya say? Are you ready to don the Crusader colors and embark on a sacred quest to obtain your cutie mark?” Sweetie Belle implored with a healthy dose of grandiosity.
Connor hesitated for a moment, looking back and forth across the young, expectant expressions held by the three fillies. Standing on the very tips of their hooves, they leaned in with bated breath, as if the fate of the world hinged on his answer. And after a few seconds, Connor’s stoic demeanor gave way to a warm smile of resignation.
“Oh… how could I possibly say no to those faces?”
With a “Yippee!” a “Woo-hoo!” and an “Alright!” all three ponies reared back with utter joy as Connor turned to address Twilight, who, along with Spike, appeared to be immensely entertained by the spectacle.
“Can I get a little help, Twilight?” he asked her, tilting his head at the cape lying on the table.
“Sure thing,” she replied, her horn lighting up as she grabbed the garment and levitated it over to Connor. With flawless dexterity, she wrapped the cape around his back and tied it securely around his neck, letting it fall across his shoulders. “There you go.”
Knowing that he probably looked more than a little ridiculous -- and not particularly bothering to care at the moment -- Connor turned on the spot, trying to catch a glimpse of himself in his new digs. “So, how do I look?”
“Ah think y’all look great!” said Apple Bloom, garnering nods of agreement from her friends.
“Welcome to the Crusaders!” Scootaloo said next. “With you at our side, we’ll all get our cutie marks in no time flat!”
Suddenly, Sweetie’s ears perked up. “Oh! Speaking of which, we’d better get going!” she mentioned, running over to the library door and pulling it open.
“Wait, going?” Connor asked, raising an eyebrow at the little unicorn. “Going where? To do what?”
“To try and get our cutie marks, a’course!” Apple Bloom said as she maneuvered behind Connor and started not-so-subtly nudging him towards the outside.
The earth pony filly was quickly joined by Scootaloo. “Yeah, and guess what? Today, we’re doing Cutie Mark Crusaders Rock Climbers!”
“Uhhh…” As Connor’s hooves scraped against the wood floor, he threw a worried look back at Twilight and Spike, who looked to be on the verge of breaking out into laughter. “Hey, Twilight? A little help…? Please?”
The lavender mare raised a hoof to her muzzle, trying to maintain her composure. “Heehee… Sorry, Connor, but you should’ve known what you were getting into before you agreed to it.”
From her spot near the door, Sweetie bounced in place. “Come on, Connor, it’ll be fun!”
“I think you and I have very different definitions of the word ‘fun,’” Connor said, grinning uneasily even as his obstinance devolved into something more resembling mock protest. As he let himself go along with the children, he bent his neck one last time to address Twilight. “So, I guess I’ll see you guys later, then… hopefully…”
Now moving -- albeit grudgingly -- of his own accord, his fellow Crusaders raced ahead of him once they were all out the door. “Come on, this way!” Sweetie urged him.
“Alright, I’m coming!” Connor yelled back as he put on a little more speed. “I can’t run that fast yet, gimme a break!”
Meanwhile, back inside the library, it was once again peace and quiet, with both Spike and Twilight left staring dubiously at each other until they both broke out into a fit of laughter at the absurdity of the event they’d just witnessed.
“Heheheheh… Wow. I can honestly say I didn’t see that coming,” said Spike as he reached up to wipe a tear from his eye.
“Heheh… Me neither, Spike. It’s great, though, isn’t it? At the very least, it’ll give him an excuse to get out of the library more often.” Twilight took a few more seconds to get the last few giggles out of her system. Then she sighed, looking back at the wide open door for a little longer than one might expect, wearing a contemplative expression. “...Maybe I should go with them.”
Watching his pony friend with interest, Spike picked up on it, rolling his eyes and nudging Twilight gently in the ribs. “What, are you jealous?”
Twilight did an immediate double-take. “N-no!” she defended vociferously, her cheeks tinging slightly red. “I just want to be there to make sure nopony gets hurt.”
“Sure, Twi. Whatever you say,” the dragon said, unconvinced, as he threw up his claws and started walking away. “Go ahead, I can handle everything here.”
Twilight looked at her assistant. “...You sure?”
“Yeah, totally.” Spike waved a claw dismissively.
Smiling softly, Twilight cantered up and surprised Spike by going beside him and pulling him into a brief, affectionate hug. “Thanks, Spike. You’re the best.”
“Yeah, yeah…” Spike glanced off to the side, scratching at his head ridges, embarrassed. “Go on, get outta here.”
After just one more nuzzle, Twilight let go of her Number One Assistant and broke for the door. She stopped at the threshold for a second to say one last thing. “I’ll be back soon, I promise.”
Spike waved goodbye. “I’ll be here.”
And with that, Twilight nodded once and stepped outside, closing the door shut in her wake. Now that she was outside, she took one look around, scanning the surrounding area for the whereabouts of the Crusaders and their newest inductee, but they were already apparently long gone.
“I take my eyes off you for one minute…” Twilight sighed exasperatedly. But she didn’t let it bother her. After all, since getting to know them, she’d become quite adept at tracking down the three little troublemakers. Well… make that four.
The unicorn chuckled to herself, shaking her head at the foolishness of it all. One thing was for sure: dull days were going to be even more few and far between with Connor around… and on reflection, she wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
Twilight opened her eyes and breathed deep, filling her lungs with the rich, clean air of Ponyville and letting it refresh and re-energize her. Then, with a mixture of pure mirth and determination, she picked a direction and broke into a sprint. Her hooves felt lighter than air as she ran, her muzzle breaking open into a wide grin as she imagined what was in store for her and her friends that day, and every day that was to come.
After all, it was a magical world, full of stories just waiting to be experienced. A world where no story was too long or short, too happy or sad, too simple or nuanced, so long as you could share them with the ones you treasure the most; your friends.
And with that in mind, Twilight couldn’t wait to see what the next chapter would bring.
The end.
And so our story comes to a close. I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
I would like to thank everyone who's ever given my story a try. Whether you liked it or not, whether you've said good things or bad, I appreciate at least giving it a chance. Every favorite, upvote, and constructive critique have helped me deliver a story I can feel proud of. And to everyone who downvoted without even giving a reason why, well, odds are you won't be reading this, so thanks a lot, jerks.
I would especially like to thank my pre-reader and good friend on the site, Loyal2Luna, whose feedback and support were invaluable these past two years. I invite you to go check out her own stuff. Seriously, click on that link. Do it now, you won't regret it.
And to anyone who may be curious about a sequel, well... I'm not ruling it out.
In the meantime, I'll just leave this here...
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Loved it, I loved reading this story it was so AWESOME! That ending was really great too! Good job!
SEQUEL!!!
...
...
...
Please?
*BOOM*
I was happy to be there every step of the way, 2d. You know that. 
Damn, I think my d'awww meter just exploded.
SEQUEL SEQUEL SEQUEL SEQUEL
YES! That letter addressed ALL the points it needed to! GREAT job!
I agree Twilight. "Crimson Flare" *shudder* is a terrible name.
If I may make a suggestion for a sequel, there's still that prick, Skarmory, back in Canterlot, and I highly doubt that anything that disliked Connor that much when he was human would accept him even after ponification.
Hey, if'n you do make a sequel, at least tag this story with the appropriate news, Mkay? I don't wanna miss out.
Hot damn this was awesome! Hope you make a sequel.
YAY FOR THE DELIGHTFULLY SAPPY PICTURE. But seriously, this has been two years well spent
Oh, I forgot. The dangers he'd face back on Earth all are based on the assumption that the portal is directly linked to the little island and not either a fixed or random point in our universe.
Otherwise, he'd have most likely ended up floating in empty space.
Congrats on finishing a 204k-words-long story. And it only took you two years! That's better than what I've done.
Don't let yourself get pushed into writing a sequel unless you have a great idea or you really want to. Better to have a clear ending to the story than to try extending it into something that just fizzles out, leaving the readers feeling unfulfilled. At least, I think so.
This fic was very well written. Nicely done. I really do hope you do a sequel in the future.
AWESOMEST SEQUEL EVAR!!
Connor discovers that he is the to become the Ultimate Pony of Ultimate Destiny and must gain supreme ultimate mega powers to fight off 10,000 Boss Baddies, who have crossed over from every fictional world ever created! He ascends to Sephiracorn status, with 6 rainbow wings and 10 horns with 10 crowns on them!!
(Alondro is attacked by the Gods of Good Taste and killed brutally.)
Or not...
No sequel, pl0x.
No direct sequel, anyway; Connor's story is over. We're (Well, I'm - I can't speak for everyone) satisfied with where he's ended up. That said, I wouldn't say no to a spin-off, or a story based within the same universe. If you must, I think a one shot showing how he acclimates would suffice for a direct continuation, but a sequel novel would likely just hurt the original.
Calling it now, title of the sequel will be along the lines of "Here (with you) I Belong"
The real question; will this be a self fulfilling prophecy due to a current lack of a sequel title?
And so our story comes to an end.
Overall I enjoyed it. Thank you sir.
Oh yeah, that's right. I still need to
tear this thing a new onereview this story.Men, I still can't believe it took TWO YEARS for this story to finish, and all I can say is that i'm satisfied I waited all that time to get to the epilogue
. Congratulations, my friend, for writing such a wonderful story
....... Oh man... I think i'm gonna cry 
So it ends
very good story. If I haven't already Imma follow you
Looking forward to your ambiguously hinted sequel.
That is some awesome art right there.
Oh so that's what he looks like...
That's a nice hoodie.
I love happy endings!
Loved this story, you earn a follow.
I'm hoping for a sequel or maybe a follow up story on how he gets his cutie mark.
In case you do make a sequel, there is no need to rush. I like the way you write as it is.
4386567 That's... a really good title, actually.
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140310200822/cardfight/images/c/c8/Excalibur-Face-XD-yolilmonster-33977760-1024-576.png
images4.fanpop.com/image/answers/1739000/1739779_1310411710307.97res_500_282.jpg
(Although seriously fuck HiE fics that have the protagonist change their name)
Yay! I made it to the final episode, and didn't change the channel! Fucking people never getting my god damn references
So, You Do Not Belong. All in all, a good read. Enjoyable at times, sad at times, light spirited at times, but nothing all too potent or strong unfortunately, making for the biggest weakness of the story; a story that is supposed to be about the emotional roller coaster that is losing your humanity, shows a significant lack of moments that truly strike your being. It comes close, scenes like the time Connor tears the flesh from his forehead, revealing a horn, leaving Twilight to find him in a quivering, bloody mess, left me slightly ill, but that's the apex of the scenes, nothing sticks out as being something truly noteworthy. There is no scene like Nav's Clown scene in Diaries of a Madman, or the ending to Dash of Humanity, and that's rather unfortunate in some respects.
There were a number of occasions where these good scenes could have been transformed into great scenes, ones that would truly strike the reader, causing them to reevaluate what they're reading. Nor does the opposite seem to occur, if the idea behind this was to show that no matter how large your problems are, the world still goes on, then it fails to show that. Its safe to say that the problems surrounding Connor, revolve solely around him. His transportation to Eqestria doesn't cause any severe sociological scars, his humanity is quickly dashed into pieces like a potter's vessel, and what he had left over from his old life, leaves like his humanity. Having Connor reveal to Ponyville who he once was, kind of defeats that ideal. It would be more fitting for him to keep that secret close to his chest, and have it remain within his circle of close friends. Involving Ponyville, and letting them in on the secret is like making him stand out as a celebrity, to me its like him just showing off, having people become far too involved in his past. But again, that's if that was the intended tone of the story. But at the same time, what power scenes there are, do shine. The bathroom scene left me feeling ill, the train ride back was a truly somber and sober scene, and the Epilogue with the CMC had me unintentionally smiling at the sweetness of it all.
In addition to this, Connor kind of feels flat. We get to know him kind of well, but maybe its because Its been a while since I started reading the story, but I don't seem to recall much about Connor. I know that he's a good guy, that he's going through a lot of pain, and that he was close with his family, but besides that, I don't have much to go on. I don't know who his family was, who he was friends with, much of what he liked/disliked, but to be fair, we do get a good sense of his emotions, desires, and a look at his own set of morals. But on the flip side, Connor is a character that is easy to identify with, and thus, many of the blights and issues he faces, are easily recognizable and identifiable, and as a reader, it's easy to sympathize with him by putting ourselves in his position. This gives the story an interesting tone, that being this very well could be us. Though the situation may seem unlikely, it's fair to point out that many of us wouldn't fare better than he did, when placed into a similar situation with similar circumstances. It brings a fresh sense of reality to the story, it's not about a human with fantastical abilities, getting into fantastical situations, it's a story about a human losing the very soul of what he is, only to have it forged into something alien, that is in turn, shoved back into him.
Which is really what makes the lack of serious, emotion evoking, scenes, all the more disappointing, because that should have been the selling point of the story, for it is a story about the emotional trauma, and psychological distress that surrounds growing up, coming to age, accepting reality, and understanding that change is inevitable, and that all one can do is make it so that it's in your favor. And while it does slightly deliver to this end, for the most part, it doesn't go all the way it could have.
But on the other hand, this is a really well done story. There are times when the story telling is lack luster, but it still does shine through at times, and manages to get the point across properly enough. The Elements of Harmony feel human, and show appropriate reactions to all that's happening around them. Celestias and Lunas sympathy feels genuine, as they are forced to realize that there is no possible way for them to understand Connor's pain, even though they may have experienced similar situations, so them doing what ever they can to help, feels all the more satisfying. And the epilogue addresses a number of the problems I saw with the ending, as well as a number of complaints I saw that people had. And seeing "The End" at the end of the story made me feel genuine wholeness, like that the story has a complete ending, one that didn't have me calling BS, rather one I enjoyed, something that rarely happens for me, because I fucking hate endings, and seeing that there is a sequel in the works feels great, because I can tell that much more can be done with the story, but as for this part, there isn't much that can be done to improve.
All in all 2dextreeme, for being the first story that you posted, you did a fine job. Even with it's issues, its still a good story, one that can stand on its own, and one that deserves every "like" that it got.
Good luck on the sequel, take a few days of rest before you begin writting, and have a drink on me. Thanks for reading, I'm Synn Lofsvard, I remember it because I am contractually obligated so that you don't have to, and because I legally can't parody the work of Doug Walker.
But you see, Twilight, there won't be another chapter. 'Cause, you know, this story's completed and all.
Hint hint giveusadamnsequel
Wouldn't mind some closure though on the Earth front if at all possible.
I guess, in the end, he really did belong there. Now to await his romancing of Twilight patiently.
By which I mean checking back every day.
I really hope there will be a sequel. I really like to see it when a human (turned to pony or not) has to learn about their society. And I think Twilight would like to spend more time with him ;)
Am I right, Twilight?
I read this as "I just got done eatin' a little magic potato."
Note to self: stop reading at 2:40 in the morning.
Also, something of note:
Incorrect use of 'y'all'. It should be you/ya/yah, however you want to do the accent or not.
At it's base, 'y'all' is a contraction of 'you' and 'all'.
And when you have AB say it in reference to one person, it's used incorrectly.
“Heheheheh… Wow. I can honestly say I didn’t see that coming,” said Spike as he reached up to wipe a tear from his eye.
I did, but I don't mind.
By the way, love your avatar. It sums up my expression of all the wierd shit one finds on the internet.
Been a long road, and I look forward to your next project.
To be honest, I was surpirsed last chapter when you said that the next chapter would be the last one. Personaly I think you have quite a few things you could play around with, but you did what you set out to achive.
A sequal would be nice if you ever did one, if you don;t that's a shame but I'm not going to tell you what to do.
Still, thankyou for the fic.
4387253
More or less covered all the points of the story I wanted. The writing isn't horrible, the characters don't act out of range of my headcanon. Not too big a fan of OCxEstablished Character shipping, but that's just a personal bias. But as he said, the weakest part of the story was the impact. The most impacting scene for me was when he was having that mental breakdown in the bathroom, but to me he gets over all these things too quickly. Worst for me was his reaction to having his iPod stolen and drained. He is losing bits and pieces of his humanity, and none of it seems to be holding him down, or at least not for long.
Still, thanks for the ride.
Just finished reading the whole story and loved every moment of it, you really put a lot of thought into this story and really enjoyed reading it. I look forward to seeing a sequel to it.
Awwww, the ending was jsut Beautiful.
Beautiful ending
! AND MORE MORE MORE
! I wanted to see the things that Twilight and Connor would have to deal with to be together
and stuff like that so if u have ideas for a sequel do it mate !
Ahh man, I was hoping that the box was going to contain a recharged music player (iPod? iPhone? Can't remember which he had). There had got to be someone hanging around that could figure out how to charge it for him.
But, a CMC cloak is not a bad alternative.
Good story, dude.
Awesome ending. I, for one, really like happy endings. This kinda reminds me of Good Omens, an unambiguously happy ending at the end. Glad I stuck with this, you did a great job with this.
And I don't even have anything to nitpick in this, so that's a plus too.
Once more: Well done!
Now this, I approve of. A clear and definitive ending to the story. This certainly helps the previous chapter which now makes a lot more sense. A good tale, infinitely superior to my own work, though perhaps something to strive for. For the first time, in a long time, I think I've found a HiE that works.
Wow...it's been a LONG trip. Long, but fun!
I really enjoyed looking forward to your updates as they'd come every couple of months. I will miss seeing your story updates, but I'm glad to see that the story has come to a solid conclusion.
A few things:
One: WOOHOO! Love dat ending!
Two: I DEMAND A SEQUEL, AND I WANT IT TEO YEARS AGO!
Three: what the hell is Connor wearing on that picture?
If this is the end one of the post transformation chapters should have been "You DO Belong". If there IS a sequel in the works I will be disappointed if that isn't the title of the sequel
I read this chapter listening to the song you suggested at the end of the last chapter. Gotta say, it really matches up with the feeling. Hope to see more from you soon man, this was a very good read, and is one of the first human stories I read on this site.
SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL!
.........please
4393672 PFFT! AAHAHAHA THAT IS SO DEPRESSINGLY HILARIOUS!
We have so much junk being run by the central government it doesn't need to handle, and the things it really does need to handle doesn't have enough staff! 
gaaaaaaah!
Decent end to a decent read. Thanks for writing it.
Yeah, selfish fairytale ending. are a great way to convey a "serious" take on a self insert....
I know where you live
In WNY
Cuz no one outside of WNY knows what or where NT is