What's this? The crossover writer is trying his hand at making a romance fiction? You better buckin' believe it!

Whoa,whoa,whoa,whoa.....a SPITFIRE fanfic, with SHIPPING,AND AN OC?!?!?!

Me Gusta XD

I shall track this/fav, whatever...because as you said....there ain't enough spitfire love out there that doesn't include Rainbow Dash.

Nicely done, look forward to seeing more of this.

nice, you better update this soon

A few nitpicks here and there, but overall fine.

Will wait for more.

Overlove - Dio

RIP Ronnie James Dio, 7/10/42 - 5/16/2010

You get points for the originality of not shipping Spitfire with Rainbow Dash. The story is also well written and I am curious about where this goes.

wow sweet, a spitfire x oc, there aren't too many of these out there, by that saying this is the first one I found, the rest is all with Soarin or RD...

>>600949600949 >>601572601572 >>601754601754  Yeah, I found it sort of odd that there weren't many Spitfire romance fics that didn't end up pairing her with Soarin' or Rainbow Dash.

>>600972600972 >>600985600985 Thank you.

>>601104601104 You showed up in my comments! I feel blessed. RIP Dio, 2nd anniversary of his death.

>>601018601018 Anything you'd like to point out? Constructive criticism is always welcome.

I like this so far. I hope that I'll see another update soon!

FINALLY!!!!! A Spitfire Fic that doesn't suck or depict her as a total and complete slut. I salute you sir and will be reading this.

>>603908603908 That's the whole reason why I made this. I love Spitfire, she's among one of my top favorites as a non-Mane6 character.

>>603920603920 Me too buddy. I already have a story board down for a fic where Spitfire wakes up in 25th century earth and all the crazy slice of life encounters that happen in a futuristic society.

ooooo this is going to be good.

Who wants to go on a manhunt for the bastard that disliked this?

The loyal brony,

Fireflash

This seems great! Tracking

can't wait for the next chapter

faved this.

damn, my wish was granted almost immediatly.

Are you adding more chapters?

>>619488619488 I will be working on it after I publish a chapter for another one of my stories. But don't worry, I haven't forgotten about this.

Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss I'm a sucker for romance stories

Well dash is gonna lose this race for sure

Spitfire fic! ME GUSTA!!!!!     Will read when there are more chapters...CANT WAIT!!!

hehehehhe

well this is going to be interesting :)

Lovin it! Keep the chapters a rollin'!

For someone who does crossovers, this is bucking brilliant!!!!     Hounestly one of the more gripping stories because you always want to know what will happen next!  Cant wait for the next chapter !!!

Keep it up I know there's more and it's going to be good so BRING ON SOME MORE!!!!!!!

Hetero Spitfire romance. I am so into this.

On my to-read list.

Not to mention that Shift is actually likable, and not a jerk or one of those helpless idiots. Liking this story so far

Shift is awesome. Many would say Mary Sue. But I like him because there is a reason he achieves such speeds. Flying around Equestria in one day? Dayum, he's good.

>>619540619540 >>630402630402 >>630439630439 >>630835630835 >>630924630924 >>631338631338 >>634923634923 >>639528639528 Thank you all for the kind words.

>>631389631389 Yeah, I just had a thought one day that I should try my hand at a romance fiction. So, with that, I chose Spitfire as the romance interest... and, here you have it.

>>639629639629 That was my intention with him. As mentioned in the fic, beyond his love for flying, he's actually a pretty plain pegasus with only above-average looks like any other. He unfortunately doesn't have much in the way of other interests and hobbies outside of flying.

>>639750639750 I tried to tone down, so to speak, the Mary Sue-ness of Shift. Remember that he's only capable of achieving such speeds because he's been flying for about as long as Rainbow Dash has, except he put himself through the paces of training, on top pushing his limits every single day. And we all know that Dash likes to nap when she's not on the job... well, Shift would very much prefer to fly instead.

>>639781639781

No no no, DON'T tone it down. I love him the way he is. Other may say Mary Sue, I say an actual OC worthy off respect. You see, I judge ponies by their backgrounds and writers, not their abilities. I dislike it when one random alicorn shows up saying "Hey, I'm your long lost brother. I have now come to claim the throne." Without any backstory whatsoever. And he suddenly does what he just said he did. You on the other hand, have a back story and a reason why he is so good. And you don't go over the top making him fly so faster it's the speed of time or something. Which would be cool, but blah blah blah listen to me. I'm just writing my mind. Anyway, Shift is an extremely likeable character. Don't you dare change a thing

>>639792639792 Oh, well, I had originally, I wanted to differentiate Shift from other OC ponies by giving him his own backstory. Essentially, what you see now is the result of my brainstorming work. I never actually "toned it down", but in comparison to other, more blatant Mary Sues that I compared Shift to at creation, it's definitely degrees lower.

The "first-class mailpony" idea was something that I thought up on the go, and it just matched Shift's personality perfectly: he's just an average pony who absolutely loves flying, and what better than to take a job that allows him to do just that?

huh. i suspect heavy jealosy from Spitfire towards RD.

>>639804639804

Exactly, which makes him perfect. I honestly can't wait to see more of this work.

I think my only issue with the story so far is that I can't seem to find anything wrong with Shift. Most characters have a facet that shows their limits or weaknesses. Shift seems to flourish without hesitation in every situation you've thrown him at so far. He's amazing at flying, he has no issue with work, his social status seems to be healthy, he hasn't shown any issues with his friends, and he even seems to have almost no problems in his life.

So ability wise he is perfect, attitude wise he is a saint, and plot wise there is very little that I can foresee holding him back from his goals. Basically I can't find anything wrong with him or the world around him. There is nothing wrong with making your character exceptionally skilled in a specific area, but at least show that he is.bad at something relevant, otherwise his character seems kind of boring to me. So far you have implied that Rainbow Dash is fast but doesn't have endurance and Spitfire has speed, but lacks in technique. Why haven't you given a similar handicap to Shift? It doesn't even necessarily need to relate to his flying.

Mind you, that's just what I think....and I'm not exactly a good writer so take anything I say with copious amounts of salt....like more salt than would be found in your average salt mine.

EDIT: I forgot to say that the character itself is actually a likable character, he just seems a little boring.

I'm definitely liking your writing style, no spelling errors I could find (and I'm a hardcore grammar nazi)

keep up the good work

"Muffin?" The wind quickly blew it out of her hooves. "Aw..."

IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE THIS STORY GREAT

OH GOD WHY WAS THAT SO FUNNY

>>639859639859 No worries on that, I very much appreciate the critique. I know he's a little bit bland at the moment, I'm trying to work up to bringing his character out a bit, and present some flaws, as well. It's something I intend to seriously think over in my storyboard, and eventually draw out in later chapters. As for his social life, I did point it out in the story, but essentially, he doesn't really have much of a social life aside from people he met during his childhood or contacts he made at work. He doesn't know many other ponies otherwise, not even in his age bracket.

>>639875639875 Thanks, I pride myself on being as error-free as possible.

>>641076641076

I sense a plot twist coming on

This story is really starting to bind me!

One thing though... If a flying horse collided with a wall at the speed of sound, it would pretty much be, um... liquified.

>>641499641499 Cloud walls. They have been shown in the show to somehow mysteriously be able to negate the effects of blunt force trauma (as seen in Hurricance Fluttershy when Fluttershy's flying quickly in circles and then Dash catches her by using a cloud).

"And here I thought that training of yours would finally be useful for something! Don't tell me Canterlot's finest Captain--mmhm?!"

I had this at the bottom of my screen when I read this. You got my hopes up... Then I scrolled down too read:

Spitfire had covered his mouth with her hoof as she nervously looked around.

I though she kissed him... Ah well...

>>642073642073 In due time, my good friend.

>>639810639810 We can guess where this is going.

Something tells me Spitfire wanted Shift to ask her is she's go to the show with him. Yes, I know sh'ed be in it already, but I've read Romance fics where some of the Wonderbolts have been to their own shows with somepony. Dunno. I hope I'm wrong. I hate sad moments in Romance fics...

>>642482642482 An interesting thought, but unfortunately one that I will have to quash, since Spitfire's actually performing in the show, making it a teensy-bit hard to... you know, watch it.

>>642073642073

Me to man. Me to.

>>642073642073 >>642918642918 i thought so too

>>642491642491

I know, but the point would be to ask if she'd accompany him while he made his way there, and then spend time with him after. Still technically making it a date.

>>642076642076

Good to know.

I have to admit I also get a tad bit of a Mary Sue feel from Shift, but the explaination for his speed and endurance works fairly well IMO.

Thumbs up from me, looking forward to more.

MOAR! FLUTTERSHY COMMANDS YOU!

I mean, if that's ok with you...

Let's see what food Shift gonna brew up.

For those of you who are interested, rainbowdashs deviantart has been changed to spittfireart. She runs a few ask pony tumblrs as well. One of them being http://spittfire.tumblr.com/ which is occasionally nsfw and has lead to her small amount of fame.

>>652747652747 I'm spacing out my releases! One chapter per thousand years! But, they usually come every 3-5 days.

>>652786652786 I hadn't actually thought to write something about that, but we'll see.

>>652803652803 I just noticed that right now. I'll just go ahead and amend the description for the new author name so it doesn't raise any confusion.

Interesting story, I like it. Being an ambitious/competitive person, I've always had a hard time understanding people who are completely content with having a run-of-the-mill job and low key lifestyle, so it's interesting to see that theme explored. Also I think it'd be fun to see some RD vs Spitfire competition over Shifty, so I'm hoping that might come up. Looking forward to the next chapter!

BRING ON SOME MORE NOW!!!!!!!!!

pretty please with sugar on top

but if you don't you'll DIE!!!!!!!!

Just kidding

*reads first chapter* Continue, i am listening (by this i mean - This is gunna be gud)

Are all OC stories this amazing?  I should start reading more of them.

Cheers,

jangledorf

I DEMAND MOAR CHAPTERS!

My only problem is the sonic rainboom thing. Does he also have a rainbow mane?  It feels like it takes away from rainbow dash's unique character traits...Other wise this is hands down one of the best spitfire fics ever.

I'm loving this buildup.

I must say that is by far one of my favorite fics that I have EVER read. That means you are doing a fantastic job and I am glad you update so frequently. I look forward to the next chapter!

Things are getting... Interesting. Can't wait for more!

Looking forward to the next chapter.

What a perfect story!

By the way... one chapter per thousand years would be a great idea... Just sayin..  

me like

>>653099653099 Nope just this one.

>>653034653034 Indeed, in the original version of the chapter, Spitfire was actually intended to get flustered after hearing that Shift was taking Dash to the show, but I felt that was a bit too rushed.

>>653058653058 >>653138653138 In due time.

>>653063653063 Thanks!

>>653099653099 Not all OCs stories are great, but I'm glad to say that mine is not one of the bad ones.

>>653140653140 Yes, Shift can do a Sonic Rainboom, but that doesn't mean that he likes it, nor does he endorse its usage. No offense to RD, but to Shift, it's essentially a cheap gimmick. He prefers using his raw talent to win. I'm glad that people might like my update speed, but I was thinking about pacing myself now and perhaps releasing every 3-5 days to avoid burnout.

>>653151653151 There are a lot of subtle implications in there, which will be made plainly obvious in the next chapter.

>>653325653325 >>653422653422 Thank you!

>>653436653436 Next chapter shall be released when season 3 runs! Haha! Just kidding, but it'll take some time.

>>654598654598

This is just a suggestion, but, do you think you could make shift a little less.. old fashioned? To me he seems like a grumpy old dude in his mid 30's, who's already going into his midlife crisis.

Moar!!

This is a really good story, I'm interested to see where it's going. I like the characters you've built up, and I really want to see Shift coaching Rainbowdash!

Keep up the good work

>>654959654959LAWL

Bitte, lieber Herr / Frau / Ich bin nicht ganz sicher, weil ich seit kurzem beobachte dich, kann ich etwas mehr von Ihrem OC? Bitte?

>>642134642134

...Threesome?

...What? Why are you looking at me like that?

>>660662660662 I'm not looking at you, honest.

When I first heard the whole "not wanting spotlight" and "did 2 sonic rainbooms on accident", I almost blurted out "Gary Stu!".

But to be honest, just getting past that and reading the rest of the chapters so far, really gives him a character that is not just a Gary Stu.

I really like your portrayal of Spitfire in this story as well. I'm just gonna hit the favorite-button now.

-Glassed

This was a pretty crappy chapter, only put together after lots of thinking, writer's block, and disjointed ideas. I figured that I'd spent enough time leaving my stories on the backburner, so here you go.

I'm also seriously contemplating writing another romance fiction about Pages and Rose. So many ideas, so little time. And creativity.

>>682595682595 i for one enjoyed it all the same well done

>>682595682595  I think this chapter was quite good, actually.  I want more, though.

Nice job but, also its not very supprising that he has a crush on spitfire

>>682693682693 Thank you!

>>682711682711 I wasn't aware that the great Howitzer was following my story!

>>682714682714 Obviously, given how the first chapter pretty much prefaced that. It just goes into a little bit more depth in this chapter.

>>682749682749 your welcome sometimes i think i'm just too kind should i stop?

>>682755682755 No, it's fine. Appreciative comments do a lot more for the author's morale than you'd normally think.

>>682760682760 oh i know that feeling and many other would agree with you and me on this one

>>682749682749  Not only am I following your story, but your story is featured.

>>682816682816 I'd assume that's a good thing, since it's not the first time I've seen it up there, actually.

Strange, you know, Fimfiction is actually the first place I've done this writing business. Usually I'm too lazy to do anything otherwise, but... confound these ponies, they drive me to write.

>>682824682824  I think it's a good thing.  I want some of my stuff up there, but sadly that doesn't seem to be happening.  Ah, well.  Eventually I'll have something up there.

I'm really liking this. Keep up the good work!

>>682829682829 The views are nice, I agree, but unfortunately, it would seem that most of the popular fics easily bounce off any lesser known ones when they update. It seems the only way to hold a decently good viewerbase is to get on EQD, or write exceptionally well enough to pull in a large viewerbase from scratch, much like I did.

There's a definite problem in getting lesser known authors recognized, though, I'll say that much. I've read all your works and found them very well-written, it's also quite a shame that you haven't gotten more views. A lot of authors are criminally unrecognized on Fimfiction.

thumbs up, Fav, Mustache

Story is awesome

It wasn't a bad chapter.  It was a little different from all the other chapters but it was a nice change. DON'T YOU DARE do another romance until you finish this one. I seriously love this story.

I'm absolutely loving this story so far, it's amazing. Nough said XD

Still, I like what you did here, sompony who's actually faster than Spitfire, and decides not to cheat his way by using the sonic rainboom, that my fine sir is a true athlete. Also, I'm currently writing two fanfics. One I've redone, and the other is my first HiE fic, which apparently turned out ok. Still, my first fic was awful, so I did what was best. I went back, revised it, rewrote it, changed that characters to make more sense, and made the story a bit more believable (except for the new chapter I uploaded earlier tonight, it had a weird moment in it. It's pretty bad when the writer knows their putting a weird moment in their story? But oh well, I am a weird person ) Still, it seems to be turning out okay. I'm still new to writing these things, and English had been one of my worst subjects in school, but it's gradually getting better.

Still, can't wait to read more. As of now I have 77 more chapters to read till I'm caught up to everything (So much reading....I LOVE IT!)

Image: http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/5/52044/2060390-i_like_it_super.jpg

Please continue.

"Shift," Post said.

"Dad," Shift responded

Isn't his Dad Pages? Anyways, I love the story and I am expectantly waiting your next chapters. Also hoping that there are many many more to come. Please continue writing for us all.

>>683641683641 Thanks for pointing that out.