Lost
Although I slept rather soundly that night, from exhaustion rather than having a peaceful mind, I awoke the next morning feeling much worse. When I arrived at school, the feeling only seemed to grow.
I was completely silent throughout my morning classes, lost in my thoughts, and in much too weak of a metal state to say anything worthwhile. The moment I had told Pinkie my feelings, and the way in which she reacted played again and again through my mind. I was growing rather good at picking out the little things, expanding them much larger than they ever should have been, and blaming what happened upon myself. All I wanted to do was go home, but at the same time, I knew I had to stay strong. Firstly, I did not want to show Pinkie how much her decision had truly affected me to keep her from hurting. Along with that, I had plenty to catch up on considering how little homework I had done over the previous weeks. Then, all too soon, came the dreaded hour of lunch.
I contemplated sitting with Pinkie and the girls, but knew it would be too much. Along with keeping calm around her, I also worried what the other girls thought of me after I had spent so much time with their enemies. Even though I told Pinkie I was wrong by spending my time with them, I did not want to sit alone. Along with that, I had the urge to return; something about the thought of being around them once more was drawing me back.
“Whoa! Not seeing us for a day really did make you sad. I was joking when I said that, you know,” Sonata said in her usual clueless but chipper tone as I took a seat beside her. I thought I was doing a rather good job of keeping my emotions locked deep inside myself, but the fact that Sonata could see it immediately made me wince.
“Yeah, sure,” I attempted to joke after clearing my throat.
“Great, you’re really lightening the mood,” Aria said with a dry, sarcastic sigh.
“Is something up?” I asked, figuring by her sentence that the mood was already low.
“Yeah, you, depressing people really get on my nerves,” she said, rolling her eyes.
Sonata laughed. “Are you really that stupid? He’s not an emo, Aria.”
“Doesn’t mean he isn’t moping,” Aria replied with a shrug, “and I’m no idiot.”
“Yeah, I just… well… never mind,” I mumbled weakly. I was rather surprised that Adagio hadn’t said a word to me yet, but then she spoke, her words shocking me even further.
“You haven’t done anything to fix whatever it is that you’re whining about, have you?”
I was almost certain that I wasn’t whining. “No… but I can’t really-” She lifted a hand, cutting my sentence short.
“If you’re not going to toughen up and do something, then don’t whine! Ugh, Aria’s right,” she stated plainly, giving me her fiercest of glares. I could feel myself beginning to tear up and grimaced in an attempt to hold it back. Being yelled at was certainly not good for my already ill heart and only seemed to blow my emotions even further out of proportion than they already were.
“Now he’s crying… that makes me feel really awkward. Can you just make him leave or something?” Aria asked, turning to her leader with crossed arms. “Please…”
Adagio sighed and placed her hands on the table before me. “She’s right again,” she said, shaking her head belittlingly. “If you’re going to keep acting like this, you need to leave. You can come back when your emotions are more… normal.”
I shakily rose to my feet, avoiding any form of eye contact with the girls as tears dripped down my face. In a way, I already knew that even if I was always there for them, they would never do the same for me, but actually experiencing it was much worse. At least before, I could pretend. Now, I knew for a fact that they never actually appreciated my presence. I was being used, even though I was yet to see such using in action besides the petty tasked I did for them.
I quickly traveled to the nearest empty table to spend the rest of my lunch in isolation and thought. I immediately realized that sitting with the sirens was the wrong decision, even though I knew so before I had done it.
***
The day only seemed to grow worse as my emotional state crumbled even further. Even the slightest of problems were beginning to affect me, whether that be the worry of finishing my homework or how uncomfortable the seats that I had to sit in for an hour were. I craved returning to my home and laying in my bed for the rest of the evening, doing nothing but resting and forgetting about the real world.
After a few more painful hours of lecture and work, the end of the day finally arrived. I slowly staggered to my feet and gathered my things as other students sped past me in a blur. Even though I was in a hurry to leave, I had no motivation to do anything which required either physical or mental activity.
As I eventually left the room, the halls had already grown eerily silent and lifeless. Looking down at the dulled shine of the polished tile below my feet, scuffed after a day of use, I heard a soft, familiar voice before me. “Hey…”
“…Sunset,” I muttered, looking up at her in fear, my eyes growing wide.
“It’s, uh, been a while,” she said, nervously fiddling with her fingers and smiling weakly. “I heard what happened with Pinkie… and sort of saw what happened with you and the sirens. You don’t look good at all, and I can understand why. I’m honestly worried about you.”
“Are you really?”
A look of shock covered her face, and her mouth hung half open. “I… of course I am. I do still care about you, you know?”
“Yeah,” I said with a sarcastic laugh and then gulped, surprised by my hostility.
“You really think I don’t?” she asked, annoyed and offended by my response. “I mean… please, I don’t want this to turn into some kind of fight. As a friend, I’m worried and wanted to know if I can do anything to help,” she explained, her voice growing softer once more.
I shook my head and glared at her. “No… someone like you can’t fix any of this.”
“Someone like me? What do you mean, someone like me?” she said, her voice growing louder.
“Nothing, never mind… and no, you can’t help.”
“Are you sure?” she asked, placing a hand upon my shoulder. I quickly pushed it away and huffed.
“Just… leave me alone, alright?” I muttered, returning my gaze to the floor.
“Please… I got to know you pretty well when we, um, dated… and I feel like I can help. I know you need it too.”
I shook my head once again, this time more fiercely. “No, you don’t. You never had the time too because you were always so caught up in your image.”
“My image, really?” she gasped in anger. I looked up for a moment to see her face growing red with rage. “I was just trying to become a better person.”
“No, you just wanted everyone to like you again!” I yelled, once again surprising myself. “I was one of the few that actually cared for you, and after you finally got what you wanted, you just abandoned me.” It was as if all of the emotions that I had let well up inside me that day finally burst when they were boiled by an almost forgotten and painful past. I felt unable to control myself, even though I knew what I was doing was completely wrong. I could not believe that the words I said were coming from my own mouth.
“No, it was never that! You know you’re lying! Did you ever take a minute to think about how hard it was for me back then?”
“Yeah, you know what? I did all of the time actually! I worried about it a lot, and I’m pretty sure I was always there for you, even when you started to forget about me.”
“I!” she yelped and then grew silent, grasping the bridge of her nose between her fingers and wincing. “I’m just going to stop now…”
“There he is,” a voice called out from behind me, causing both Sunset and I to look in the direction from which it came. The sirens walked towards us through the completely empty hall, the clicks and clacks of their boots against the tile surface echoing around us.
“Is he really with Sunset again?” Aria asked, even though it sounded more like a statement with her practically lifeless voice.
“I can’t believe it,” Adagio said, glaring in my direction before shaking her head. As she grew close enough to do so, she grasped her hand around my chin and squeezed, causing me to flinch. She stared directly into my eyes with her own, both fierce but welcoming at the same time. “I guess if I was in your shoes, I’d do the same,” she said with a smirk. “Looks like I’ve taught you well… that doesn’t mean you’re off my bad side though… yet. Let’s make a deal, hm?” she cooed sweetly releasing her grasp and tickling her fingers lightly against my chin as she pulled away. “Break Sunset’s heart. Tell her how you would never be in a relationship with her again, and how you don’t want to be her friend any longer. Tell her how you’ve found girls like us who are better than to her in every possible way.”
“What am I getting out of this?” I asked, completely entranced by her soft, lulling words.
She began to giggle and smiled a vicious smile. “I know how interested you are in each of us. If you do as I ask, we’ll let you have a, well, a heated night with whichever one of us you choose… or being the lover-boy that you are, you can have the girlfriend of your choosing.”
“Girlfriend… really?” Aria asked with a huff, crossing her arms.
“Come on, Aria, you know it’s totes not like that. You could get your own personal slave! Err… I mean, uh, he’s so nice that he’ll probably do anything you ask. Besides, it’s not like he’s gonna pick you anyways!” Sonata explained.
“You’re the worst, Sonata; why would he pick you over me?”
“You’re worser! And because I know he’s, like, really into me,” Sonata snapped back.
“Girls, please,” Adagio said with a grin, laughing. “We all know he would pick me.”
“You know what? Have fun choosing!” Sunset suddenly yelled, glaring at me as she stomped away. “Because I honestly don’t want to be your friend anymore anyways!”
Everything was silent as we watched her storm away. Only seconds after she had disappeared, the meaning of what she had said finally hit me. My body felt both empty and heavy at the same time. I had lost a friend. Even if we rarely talked, it was nice to know how much she cared about me, then suddenly, she was gone. The weight of the words which I had spat out through pure emotion and rage were finally catching up to me as I realized that I was the only cause for such a loss. I regretted everything that I had done, and was continuously wishing that I could take it all back. Yet, at the same time, I had always wanted a fresh start, and with both Pinkie and Sunset out of the way, I could finally do so without any baggage. Though, such a new start was completely dependent upon the sirens.
“So… do I still get to, uh?” I muttered to them, shaking myself from my thoughts and turning to them, my eyes still wide with shock. All three of them began laughing and sneering, staring at me as if I was some kind of idiot. My expression grew from hopeful to confused, and then to worried.
“Did you really think that we would actually be willing to do something like that with someone like you?” Adagio said with a mischievous smile. “I actually thought you were better than this. I figured you’d at least give us some kind of a challenge. Were you really never smart enough to realize that we were using you? You were our final strike against Sunset Shimmer, but it looks like she’s grown immune.”
“To put it more bluntly, we don’t need you anymore,” Aria said, flicking a finger against my chin and giving me a wink. I had always known since the moment I made my choice that such a situation was bound to happen at some point. I had grown so blinded by their charm though, that I figured I could at least get something out of such a relationship first. I eventually grew so blind that I grew hopeful, promising myself that my relationship with the sirens could work out, and that perhaps something good would come out of it. Out of the desperation caused by knowing I had lost everything, I turned to my last hope, Sonata.
“Too bad, so sad!” she exclaimed, her laugh in the same evil tone as the others. She punched a fist against my shoulder and stuck out her tongue as if it was actually a time to be playful. My entire body felt weak, as if I was about to crumple to the floor as I watched the girls walk away, still laughing at my despair. I swore for a moment that I saw Sonata glance back with what looked to be a frown, but it was much too quick to be sure, and I had no hope left to assume that it was real.
In only two days, I had completely lost everything that I held or once held dear to my heart. Out of my own stupidity, I had lost Sunset Shimmer as a friend. I had also finally seen who the sirens were and what they truly thought of me. Of course, I still had Pinkie, but what I wanted most, I discovered was likely never going to happen. Along with that, I felt as though things between us would be much too awkward. I wanted to stay strong for her, continue being her friend, but at the same time, I was unsure if I could handle being in her presence any longer. My life had taken a turn for a place which I had always feared it would. I was alone, friendless, and lost. I knew that I had to change it, and that I was the only one who could, but was completely oblivious as to how.
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Well, that was a depressing ending.
Who is the he? your summary doesn't say.
Please, tell me that there is a sequel to this in the works.
Wow, dude just can't seem to catch a break. Talk about a series of unfortunate events.
I honestly feel like you're just marking this as complete to just screw with us.
5259635 it actually says "sequel to" so I guess the he is the same from that story... Don't really know since I'm just goin to start reading this now.
a greeting
(sorry for my bad English .. I do not speak it very well)
That ending
Right in the feelings 
5262065
I blame my time on Tvtropes. I've gotten good at this.
5261943 Agreed. I NEED A BETTER ENDING.
EVEN IF IT'S: HE KILLED HIMSELF, THE END. I NEED CLOSURE!
5261471
Thanks, it's been corrected
Wow, I'm a fan for true endings but wow. I would ask if there was a sequel where everything ends well and everyone happy but only because I'm so used to seeing that and rarely see endings like this. All I say is this: Do what you see fit, be it make a sequel or leave it as it is. I'm fine with both.
5262502
Thanks for pointing that misspelling out, but wow, there's no need to act pretentious about it. I know the difference between the two words, I simply misspelled it.
5262707
I feel like I should leave it because you're being such a cunt about it
5262732
Do it
5262406
Agreed.
I can't stand stories that leave open endings like this.
It's not new, it's not clever, nor does it make me wonder " what the MC will do for the rest of his life?" It just leaves me feeling bitter by the fact that I have no closure to recover from this.
Even if it does resolve with him committing suicide. I'd rather read that than have this as an ending.
5262732
First of all there no need for the c word.
Secondly, i wouldn't know if English language is your first language or if you're even good with it, there are plenty non English writers around here, so u couldn't be sure if you knew the difference.
Thirdly, obviously you don't know the meaning of some words as what you did there is not a misspelling as you call it, this is a mispeling, what you did there is a blatant mistake that makes me mentally cringe every time i notice.
Lastly i did apologize in my last post for pointing it out, but as i wrote it's an error that's somehow hurts my brain.
I can understand misspellings, grammar or structural mistake but that never.
Well, that's about half an hour of my life wasted for a crappily depressing ending... At the very least, it's crappy because it's too open and doesn't give closure. That's my opinion.
Not sure if I like the ending or not. Having the Dazzlings turn out to still be evil was fine, as was the protagonist ending up a loser; but there is no closure to the story at all, and that isn't OK.
My thoughts on the ending: The character is telling himself "I'm not a monster."So therefore the "monster" in this series is the character and not the former villains.
5263780
http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/401502/not-a-monster-2-ending
5263035
Yeah... I kinda see what you mean. I didn't mind that the villains didn't turn good. I didn't even mind the downer ending. But it really does feel like the story isn't quite finished yet. Like there's supposed to be another chapter following this one.
Still, it was a gutsy place to end the story on. I can definitely respect that.
I hope and trust there will be another sequel to this, right?
I feel like the protagonist is almost quite similar to Shinji Ikari.
And I think both him and Sunset are in the wrong.
...This is why I don't up vote this story. All is good until the end. No sane, normal, not-foolish man would not stop obey the women who used them after they know they are being used. I understand about drama element but this is just too unrealistic it hurt the plot and ending.
Sorry man, but this won't do at all...unless of course there are more than meet the eyes that was reveal in part 3, but until then my opinion will remained unchanged.
unconcluded ending...
No desirable resolution...
urge to kill... rising...
waiting patiently for Part 3.
5265029
That's exactly it. This Protag is not only foolish, he's also a gutless loser. That's who he is, at this point in his life. That's why MCs like him or Shinji piss us off so much even as we remain riveted to the screen.
He may become a better man as he grows older. Or he may stay a loser for the rest of his worthless sorry life. And it all depends on himself.
5263792
I didn't have much of an opinion of you after Not A Monster; the only reason I bother to finish it was because I was starved for anything Sunset.
But after reading this story, you have gained a loyal follower. I will mark you down so that when you eventually make NAM3, I don't miss it.
I will devour every chapter even while I curse the spineless gutless useless worthless Protag.
Oh, and THANK YOU for depicting the Sirens not only as unrepentent villains, but also as wielding their uncomfortably true-to-life brand of villainy. Ha ha, they're both the dream and nightmare of every desperate Nice Guy out there. Too many brony authors fan-wank themselves up to a furor over Sonata just because she's adorable. Think with your brain, she's a man-eater just like her sisters.
5259310 Your profile pic is the LEAST appropriate to be seeing after reading this. just sayin'.
mental
5265189
Yes! That's much better. I like that criteria much better.
Kinda sad to say I saw that one coming....at least two chapters ago.
Heart.. broken.. sad... crying.. more..
Wow, this is quite the work of fiction. I am excited to see if there is a "Not A Monster 3," where we explore if the protagonist is, or is not, a monster, because he might feel like one after what he did to Sunset.
5267551 i agree that was sad i too want to read more this story still doesn't have closure i need one more story with the hopes of closure
5268163
Meh. He's not a monster, and he didn't do anything "dishonorable" to Sunset. And neither did Sunset, vice versa. All's fair in love and war.
Is it Sunset's fault that she dumped him as soon as she felt better? Well no, because that's the acknowledged risk of volunteering to be the Nice Guy. One volunteers to be a girl's emotional crutch... he might get lucky and upgrade, or the girl might come to her senses and dump him. Walked in with eyes wide open, so no right to gripe. Bow out like a gentlecolt, and at least she'll always see him as a good friend.
And that also applies to Protag + the Sirens. He did this to himself.
5268964 I don't think he's a monster, I just think he's going to feel like a monster. Sorry if I did not clarify that. :)
Okay, gotta say it, this is MUCH better then the first NAM and I liked the first one. Yes, it had the feel of a shameless self-insert but it was still just clever enough with the introspective melancholy and hopefulness yet weird awkward.... teenhood. Shoot, normally I don't even really like 'sad moody depressing ending stories' either but this one just progressed so perfectly. He KNEW it was a bad idea to hang out with the Sirens but he still made the mistake of convincing himself to do it and does it. He even still faintly hopes they might actually give him a 'night' even while knowing what they are and still tries to follow up. Yeah he's weak and gutless and the first story made me think self-insert but the story telling made it seem like more than that and its been ramped up for real in this one. Underrated? Only until this guy explodes on the scene. Room for improvement? Of course but it was seen by this story. Very clever! Oh and the Pinkie scene was just fantastic, my favorite part of the whole story. I could see Pinkie doing that to make someone happy even as she's slowly self-destructing inside until she melts down. It was such a combination of emotional roller coaster and so well done. To the unknown protagonist's credit, for all his weak, weepy, self-loathing, he was still at least decent enough to not force Pinkie to continue the charade, almost nobly so. That was glorious in a Starfire kind of way. That one act gives me hope that he will improve. Maybe not in high school, maybe after he matures a lot more, maybe after he has to run off and join the military and come close to dying (among many other things), but at some point I would not be surprised if he became successful. A late bloomer even! So while this ending was so abrupt (but in the 'just right' sense of abrupt not the 'hey wait what about the plot holes' way) and we're left with such a downer spot I HAVE HOPE. Yep, hopeful for the future. All Protag needs is to believe. It sounds like something off of a cat poster, but its true.
5262808 ...seriously?
If you are going to 'correct' someone for their bad grammar, use it properly yourself.
This community is about being kind. If you can't do that, I truly am sorry.
Next time you feel like being rude here? Please, by all means, keep your rude, asinine, and otherwise hurtful comments to yourself. You are not a monkey. You do not need to take a dump in your hand and rub it in our faces.
Have a nice day!
5276299
Yes I'm super cereal, also your point is dumb.
Example.
Just because i can't paint like Da Vinci doesn't mean i don't have the right to have an opinion on his work or the right to criticize it and point flaws in it.
Same thing applies here, English is my second non native language, as such it ain't perfect plus i lack the necessary creativity to be a writer, but Dreamscape decided to write a story and publish on public site for people to read it, so it's open for opinion whichever that maybe even rude ones.
This is the INTERNET jerks and trolls are all over this place to do so.
Yet i never insulted Dreamscape just question his knowledge of English language, and i did apologize for the way i did so and hoped he would take it with good humor, rather then call me first being "pretentious" then a "cunt".
In the end i don't care i still have his work faved and up voted and waiting for the third installment.
Deep down, I kinda wanna see him just snap and take someone by the neck or something. They ARE just normal girls now, so it's entirely possible for him to overpower them in some sudden fit of rage... but maybe that's just me
Oh god, a lot of this seems to be a tad too similar to my high school life, except for the sirens using you part. In any case I can't wait for the next (and maybe last?) part of the series.
I'll be serious though and say my suicide alarm bells are ringing, this level of depression he is now in is setting off the "high chance of suicide" alarm. To lose your first friend and find that three girls were using you really hurts for realzies, so the question is......will the next part see a ray of hope or a cloud of darkness?
Suicide chance:78-84%( sorry I like to get technical sometimes, but no matter the ending I just know it'll still be a great story. Have fun writing!)
Can someone who liked this story please explain to me how its good? I liked the first one enough to read the sequel but this one was just sad and disheartening throughout the entire read. I am honestly wondering why there isn't a sad tag on this because I was feeling depressed the entire time I read it. Not only did the story itself end with no closure but the protagonist is made out to be a total loser and a pretty pathetic one at that so can one of the 114+ people who actually liked this story please explain to me why they liked it? I do want to like it but the protagonist's plight is too pathetic and too depressing for me to do anything but dislike it.
5287491 It's pretty simple really this is not the end of the story it's like that part from harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Part 2 when harry has to die to defeat Volendemort. And this shows the emotions of a teenage loner who just got dumped by the love of her life pretty well
5277055
What I am irritated about is the fact that he even said already that it was a misspelling and decide to keep bashing him about it. Typical ass...
I'd like to say that it was good but it also felt so abruptly ended. Same with the first one, I just felt like the ending was so sudden. And of course, no Sad tag. I was really wanting to read something that was happy and romantic like the first one but got a reality smack across the mouth. I'm really glad this isn't the end of it. It's still a great story and I would love to know what happened. Just wondering, why not put them all into the one story and upload as you go?
5359602
I think it's a correct decision to separate the Sunset arc and the Sirens arc into 2 stories. As you yourself observed, the tone and intent of the 2 arcs are drastically different.
It's a common complaint amongst FiMfic readers that often a long story starts off one way and later on the author completely changes tracks to the disappointment of the original readers. By separating the 2 arcs, you inform the readers that they're very different, even though they share the same characters and setting. Like Alien and Aliens.
5360972 That's actually a very good point and changes my perspective a lot. Thank you.
Ugh it's rough how closely this story parallels my high school life I too like the MC blew up to a girl who did the same thing to me that Sunset did to the MC I said terrible things to her ranting and raving in the study hall room I almost lost my friends because I was an idiot I was in that same dark place too awkward to talk to anybody and slowly slipping away I contemplated suicide the next few days but didn't have the heart to go through with putting a bullet in my skull so I cried and cried when I got to school the following day my best friend wouldn't even look at me I pulled him aside and explained my feelings told him the whole story as to how she treated me and within a few days it was back to normal and it seemed like nothing had happened in the end I don't blame the MC for snapping because I have been there and he was right about Sunset believe it or not but you only ever can see it like that if you've been mentally hurt as bad as I or others have that's the reason Sunset thinks she's done nothing wrong and that friend zoning your ex love interest is completely ok she just can't understand it but I certainly get where he's comin from in the endI gguess the moral of my story is that even when you've been pushed to your last wall mentally there is always something you can do to fix it in my case it was explaining myself to my best friend and patching things up right away and for the MC it's showing Sunset just what she did to push him that far and make her see she was wrong and actually being selfish