- Member Since 8th Jun, 2014
- offline last seen Dec 6th, 2020
Toxic Charm
Thank you to everyone who reads my stories,comment,and favorite. I appreciate all the support.
Toxic Charm
Joined 8th Jun, 2014 ·
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I hate reviewing clop, I really do... Alas, the things I do to raise the quality of the fics here...
Better get it done then, I'll be back
images.cryhavok.org/d/13825-2/Wat.jpg
Aaanyway...
Minor issues here and there, not bad I guess.
As for the... clop... part, seems like it was rushed, not enough buildup to the climax and the last half of the story seems to feel as if it's grasping at threads to keep it going, could be improved on it.
Dialogue seem ok, though as for the... 'action' as I will call it, feels just too... quick... there was plenty of potential there, I must say.
Over all its alright I suppose, not something I'll keep up with though
5200455 thank you for reading and for the help . I am really thankful for the review as it helps me learn as to what to improve upon to make better stories.
i love me a good flutterbat story i hope you continue with this storyline in a sequel i want to see how Keen lives as flutterbat's new pet
5223745 thank you very much flutterfan. I hope to add a sequel series to this, I'm glad you liked it!
5226459 cool i eagerly await more
images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/30300000/Background-Pony-Fun-my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-30318728-1365-765.png
Take a LONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG look at that picture.
5386302 maybe keen is color blind?
5388960 ....If he's colorblind, HOW THE FUCK DOES HE KNOW FLUTTERSHY IS YELLOW?
5389121 it was a joke,plus he did say "it's the only one he knew off the top of his head." So that's not saying she's the only yellow mare, plus you're really questioning a fictional story?
5390159 Eh, you have a point.