Just another brony with some fanfic ideas.
Fluttershy was up late one night caring for her animals, when she noticed a falling star. She made a wish to meet her very special somepony. Little did she realize that the star was heading for her cottage, and that it wasn't a star, it was a pony.
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Mind if I help you? I can't hear your answer!!
The description box is to describe your story. What you put it there wasn't a description of your story, it was telling stuff that we don't need to know since we can figure most of that stuff out from the tags. A description is an important part of the story, and with the description that you have most people will just ignore your story or just outright disliked it without even reading.
3040610 Fair enough, but what would you put there the short description is basically the summary.
3040773
Looking at it the short description is way better than what you have now. So is better if you copy and paste the short description as the long one.
WHO is this pony? is he a made up pony or real?
nice
I like his story so far, plz do LOADS MOAR CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
3040943 he is an original character and thank you for the compliments I plan to make more chapters soon so be sure to check in now and again
3040909 Ok done and I hope that makes the story more appealing. Thanks for the help.
hot dam dude this chapter is hell of long lol jk but they are a bit short
3043677 Yea sorry but I kinda just stop at certain places as to what I come up with so the lengths may vary
3040943Probably an OC.
What else could it be? No Alternate tag.
You could use an editor. I could help, if interested ;)
...you need an editor.
I can help if you are interested though
3044028 Quick question first.
What exactly would you do if you were my editor.
hmmm... chapters may be short but it's a great story can't wait for more.
3045965 Thank you and nice avatar btw it is both a video game and a werepony reference. I like.
3046030 hmmm well I'm usually liked for being a fan of Okami not for stories since I haven't written any.
Loving it so far! :) and can't wait for you to post more!
Same with me!!
3046209 well maybe you can make one where amaterasu somehow ends up in equestria by a new brush technique and has to learn all of them again to get back home
3047607 It's meant to be since it hard for Fallen Star to understand her.
Just letting everyone know I changed the previous chapters a bit to coinside with the story to make it better so be sure to read over it again just so you realize what has changed.
3043677Chapter 10 is all for you buddy so be sure to read it
Moar! :)
These are very very short chapters, but i love it already
Your rushing way to fast! Please slow down the pacing!
Who would name a pony Rotted Corspe?!
3051800 It kinda difficult to make it to where I get Fluttershy together with the OC and still keep her personality the same I guess I screwed up.
Sorry Flutters.
3051835 It's the best name I could think of for a coroner. That or Pual Bearer and I didn't like that one.
lol. Instead of Rotted Corpse, you could have called him...
Morgue Freepony!
3051914 Actually the point of the story is to find out who this pony is, how he can do these amazing things, and why he can't get his memories back other than the one about the factory. I already know and I just feel like making you people try and figure it out. And if you can figure out who Fallen Star is then you sir are a genius.
3051886
3052033
Oh come on! It's a good name! And it's a clever (debatable) reference!
Can you at least score me a few more moustaches for trying to think a better name?
3044023 Think you can help me!
3052150
There.
Feel better about yourself Mr. Freepony
3051990 Sorry!
Actually in the first few chapters I thought Fallen Star was an angel.
3053151 You wrong but you not far off. I can't say any more or it would ruin the story.
Hmmmm I'm liking fallen star he admits he isn't the strongest and well that's a great thing.
207 trees? *whistles* That's a lot of trees to buck, even for Applejack
I have an idea. When you're switching to different POVs maybe put that in italics. ex: Meanwhile at Fluttershy's or create a new paragraph for different person that is speaking, so we can tell who is talking better. Hope i helped you!
3063124i tried but for some reason the italics don't work on my computer, also it is the same person speaking in each paragraph
3052353
YAY
I think you should make the story more LONNNNNGERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
A couple of spelling mistakes, but this chapter was really good.
THAT IS THE END? unbelievable...
3115688 I'm not done yet. I haven't switched it to complete have I? I still have one chapter and an epilogue then I just might make a sequel so be patient because I have two more projects to work on.
Good job on the story so far. Glad your back!
I just read through this entire story and
The pacing is faster than greased lightning
And thats all I have to say on the matter
But, if you were willing to maybe revise this story, make it into something professional...
I think this has the potential to become something very, very good.
But, if you want to call this complete and pack up, well I guess I can't stop you.